Header image from free Photobank www.tOrange.us / CC by 4.0
Around water coolers everywhere, the strange tale of the “Affluenza Teen” is all the rage right now.
Ethan Couch, while still a minor, sought to evade responsibility for causing four deaths while driving drunk by using the defense that his pampered upbringing left him unable to tell the difference between right and wrong.
He managed to avoid jail time with an extended probation, but when it began to look like he would be prosecuted for violating the terms of the probation, Ethan and his mother fled to Mexico.
Yesterday, Tonya Couch was returned to the U.S. Ethan has appealed his extradition and will remain in Mexico a while longer while authorities work out the details.
He will most certainly be returned, to much fanfare and derision.
When Trail Baboon singsong poet laureate Tyler Schuyler Wyler learned of this sad (but uniquely American) story, he thought the topic was weighty enough to be worth at least three limericks.
Affluenza is quite a disease.
When you’ve got it, you do what you please.
but the symptoms ain’t bad
if your mom and your dad
keep on paying the lawyers their fees.
A pampered young man and his mum,
were so careless and reckless and dumb.
they made national news
which essentially proves
too much cake makes a good child a crumb.
A young Texan explained, in his view,
He was over-indulged as he grew.
The disease that he got
made him easy to spot.
As the guy with the privileged flu.
What’s YOUR excuse?