Ask Dr. Babooner

We are ALL Dr. Babooner

Dear Dr.Babooner,

I’m a World Leader who has worked pretty hard to get to where I am – an elite figure who is leading part of the world – thus my title.

But when I say that I “worked pretty hard,” that might mean I cheated a bit and took advantage of some good fortune that was none of my doing. I may also have stepped on a few people and connived a little, financially speaking. Nothing too out of the ordinary for a human primarily interested in his own survival.

We’re all familiar with the standard weaknesses of our species.

Anyway, I have reason to believe a good number of my misdeeds have been documented in the so-called “Panama Papers” that are being combed over and slowly released by an international team of journalists who apparently take no small amount of delight in humiliating people like myself.

There is a remarkably vast trove of documents associated with this, the largest leak in the history of tattling. It is so big and it affects so many people, I’m hopeful that my crimes may not seem so bad when compared to the sins of people even more powerful and more famous than me.  For that reason alone, I’m inclined to wait it out even though my wife says we should sell everything and leave the country immediately.

Dr. Babooner, millions of the unwashed masses are already saying I’m crooked. I love my wife but I don’t want to validate that suspicion by cutting and running, even though it kills me to just sit around right now pretending that nothing is wrong.

What should I do?

El Presidente

I told El that he (she?) has nothing to worry about if the slow release of these Panama Papers drags on through the summer. Come September, it’s likely that the soap opera story of the November American election will Trump all other news and his (her) crimes will be completely forgotten in light of much greater and more showy offenses.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

30 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Just like playing the stock market where risky stocks can either pay off in a big way or really sink, World Leadership (especially a path like yours) is risky. You have had the big payoff, now it may be the time that your stock drops like a rock. Frankly, it’s likely a comeuppance that is overdue (karma can be a b*tch, y’know…). Don’t run. If you want any chance of squishing more people under the boot of your ruthlessness, you will need to stay home and weather what comes. Best case scenario for the folks under your boot: you are so thoroughly ruined you are forced to live with your ignominy for the rest of your life, being reminded of what you had and squandered out of greed. Best case scenario for you: with a few years some other yahoo will come along who will be as cruel and greedy as you and you become yesterday’s news – with luck, you might be able to run for minor offices again, like dog catcher (though that might be unlucky for the dogs).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. El, you don’t need to run. It is easy to see that people in power, like you, are hardly ever penalized for wrong doing. The worst that might happen is that you will end up leaving your position in government early. Even if that happens, you will still be treated with a certain amount of respect as a former president of your country. You can even act as if you have done nothing wrong and many people will believe that.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wall Street hedge fund manager wipes out 2 billion worth of middle class assets: a fine and no jail time. An inner city kid arrested for 6 ounces of pot: 1-2 years in jail and a criminal history on his background check for life.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear World:
    There is no where to hide; no where to run. But have no fear. There is no need to build a wall of various height and configuration around your palatial domicile. The era of pitchfork and torch wielding mobs is gone. Twitter and Facebook assaults are the worst that will happen to you. Expect to have your physical appearance smeared in general and photo shopped to present you as possessing various animal-like features. No part of your anatomy, from the crown of your head to reproductive organs, will be spared this abuse. Your spouse will also have to suffer the slings and arrows of your misfortune. Console yourself with delightful memories of your wedding day (or wedding days) and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder of the pornography.
    Avoid alcohol or any mood altering substance. The desire to strike back might be increased with their use and you really don’t want to make your legal matters worse by being subject to a TWI, Twitter While Intoxicated.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Dear El,
    If the universe is feeling really efficient, the American campaign season and your little problem will be intertwined but the existence of a much over-published name from the former appearing in the annals of the latter.

    Nobody will care about you one bit in that case.

    tangentially- s&h heard the comment from one candidate referring to another as a Trojan Horse. the total inaptness of that metaphor left him completely gobsmacked.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. My favorite terms this campaign season: gaslighting; gobsmacking; gish galloping. They all start with a “g”, and they’re all very effective political methods to steam roll over one’s opponent. There’s one guy who’s got PhD in all three.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Well, EL, Jesus said the way to perfection is to give away all you have to the poor and follow him. Perhaps you should have done that in the first place and then this wouldn’t have happened. To those who are given much, much is expected.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. OT – Since Martye Allen is the only potter of those I mentioned yesterday in my response to the Oulu Rock question who is still alive, I decided to forward my response to her. This afternoon, I received this email from Martye: “Wow. You made my day. This is so nice Margaret — I’m going to hang on to it. I didn’t know these guys were gone — think I only knew Chuck, a lovely man who made lovely pots.
    I do think of all the pots that have gone from my hands to people’s homes and hope that some of them still bring even a tiny measure of joy when they are used. I know I feel that way when I use pieces made by others. Thanks for reinforcing that.”

    Some years back, Martye purchased a winter home, sight unseen, in Truth or Consequences in New Mexico, and that’s where she is at the moment. She indicated that she and Dave are contemplating finding a new home somewhere near Duluth, not in the city but near it, when they return to Northern Wisconsin next month. They want “to get the hell out of Wisconsin and it’s awful politics,”as she put it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for this post, PJ. Did Martye live somewhere near Cable? I think so. I believe an old friend of mine living there was (and probably is) a friend of hers. I think my friend was the first person to mention Martye’s work to me.

      Wisconsin politics have sure been disappointing lately. But the state just spiked the wheels of the Trump express.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Half the year, she still does, Steve. When we visited your cabin, you kindly drew a map for us to find Martye on our way back home. We had been there before, even stayed at their place overnight, but had obviously approached their home from a different direction, and had no idea how to get there from Cornucopia. Your map was very accurate and helpful, by the way.

        Like

    2. Interesting. I have a friend who lives in TorC for part of the year; northern minnesota the rest of the year. I wouldn’t be surprised if they know each other.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Very likely. As I understand it, TorC is not a major metropolis. We have an open invitation to use their little house anytime, but so far, I’ve not been able to entice husband to take advantage of it.

        Like

    1. I know what you mean, Renee. Speaking for myself, writing about current politics is unpleasant three ways. First, the general tone of our politics has sunk so low I find it hurts to be exposed to it. Second, the times are so polarized that people’s views on politics are predictable, once you know the general outline of their beliefs. Finally, I don’t have enough wit to say things that are fresh. I’d rather stay silent than to say something predictable and uninteresting about an unpleasant topic. That’s just me.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. What is there to say that doesn’t make you sound sanctimonious or self-righteous? I’m thoroughly disgusted that greed seems to have no bounds, but it’s not news to me.

      Liked by 2 people

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