The president’s obsession with the crowd numbers for his inauguration makes sense when you realize party turnout is a crucially important status marker for 12 year olds.
My party was bigger than Barry’s.
It was better than George’s or Jack’s.
Every guest loved the cake.
And they cheered when I spake.
That’s the truth because I made the facts.
Everything that I did was tremendous.
All my bunting and streamers were best.
All the boys I out-famed
felt a little ashamed
by my better-than-everyone’s fest.
Every party through time’s been less super
than this best-of-all parties I threw.
The invited said “yup.”
No one didn’t show up.
except whiners and losers like you.
The attention I got was amazing!
No lame gifts that you wear or you read.
Celebrated for days.
I got love, I got praise.
It was almost as much as I need.
Best party you’ve ever thrown?