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No Longer Rapunzel

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I am not a fashionista. Not a clothes horse.  Not stylish, chic, swanky, hip or trendy.  If I really thought I could get away with it I would probably don sweatpants and a t-shirt every day (shorts and t-shirt in summer).  Mind you, I can dress up if the occasion calls for it, but I have arranged my life over the years so that the occasion doesn’t come knocking too often.

This is a problem for YA. She is stylish, chic, swanky, hip and trendy and she cares a great deal about her clothing and her make-up.  She once changed an outfit after looking in the full length mirror (in my room) because her black top and black pants didn’t “match”.  I’m not making this up.  This means that my schlumpy outfits offend her and she has more than once refused to leave the house with me until I change.  She often has opinions about what I should wear to a function she is attending with me; she’s still young enough that she thinks other people really give a hoot and that they will somehow think less of HER if I am not dressed to the nines.

So in a weak moment on New Year’s Eve, I let her cut my hair. I hadn’t had a trim in well over a year and she had commented on this fact more than once in the last couple of weeks. I had taken a long look in the mirror earlier that day and decided that it was getting a little scraggly but I’m still not sure why I didn’t just trot myself off to Cost Cutters or Great Clips.  Instead, she armed herself with two pairs of scissors, a comb and a brush and asked how much I wanted trimmed off.  I told her a couple of inches and I’m sure that the new math has something to do with how much she trimmed.  My “couple of inches” translated into about five inches in her world!

If I had known she would chop off that much I might not have let her do it, but I guess I trusted her a little more than I should have when discussing what a “couple of inches” means. Luckily, it’s just hair and it will grow out; I’m not seriously unhappy but it is the shortest I’ve had my hair in years.

Has your trust ever been misplaced? Or stretched to its limit?

17 thoughts on “No Longer Rapunzel”

  1. I had a similar “miscommunication” with my hairdresser when we first arrived in Winona, but when I got used to the new length (SHORT!), I found I like it. Of course, I don’t have a job to try and look nice for…

    There are a few extended family members who no longer score high on the trust meter, but let’s not go there. Thinking…

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  2. I moved into a tiny apartment in 1967 just before getting married. I’m not sure I can describe how dilapidated that place was, but one indicator was that my monthly rent was $97 in spite of the fact it was close to the U of MN.

    One summer my wife and I were offered the chance to work in a flyfishing shop near the Brule River. We sublet our apartment to some friendly kids for the summer. They seemed trustworthy.

    When we returned, our renters were embarrassed because some of their friends had stolen things from our storage area. The phrase used back then was “ripped off.” Two of the stolen items had sentimental value: my shotgun and a small statue. The statue was a copy of Rodin’s famous “The Kiss.” It was given to us by a dear friend of my wife’s family. I bought a new shotgun by claiming its loss from insurance, but the statue was irreplaceable. My erstwife still grieves that violation of trust.

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  3. Rise and Shine Baboons,

    I look back at my younger years and I realize I was so naive and trusting about all of life, with the exception of my two cousins who were such jerks. Apparently, no one thought to explain to me that not everyone is trustworthy.

    Marrying my ex-husband was an example of this misplaced trust. I just assumed someone would do things like Get a Job, Pick Up After Himself, Become an Adult. UffDa, was that a lesson. I learned over ten years that one cannot assume such things and that my priorities are not those of other people. I had some growing up to do myself when it came to trust.

    One of the areas that assumes trust, but I have learned that is not trustworthy, is the entire area of religion. This is an explosive topic so I will not go into much detail. I was never mislead a lot in this area, but I have witnessed so many people get bamboozled by “Christians,” especially very naive women who marry ex-cons who have been “saved,” get STDs from con men who prey on women via religiously-focused websites, and women or men who lose control of their money in the name of whomever they might worship. It leaves me feeling horrified and vulnerable. And like I will not give up management of my life to anyone.

    Glad you can accept the loss of 5 inches of hair as an experience, VS—YA must have had a particular hairstyle in mind. And I think her concern for you is an expression of love, even if it is expressed in an area you do not especially value. Here in my family, every time I hear husband ask the kids “How is your car running?”, I know the translation of that is really “I love you and I hope things are OK for you.”

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  4. It’s nice you gave YA a chance. That says a lot in and of itself.
    When our son was about 5 yrs old I gave him a haircut and I pretty much buzzed it. I don’t recall exactly why; if mom and I had discussed it or he said he wanted it short or what, I don’t remember what the deal was. The result was not exactly what mom thought he was getting and I was never allowed to cut it again.
    Generally he’s always kept it pretty short anyway. I think because I set a precedent way back when.

    So many times I’ve had students tell me they’re coming back to work, or yes, they will do something. It’s more unusual to actually HAVE them follow though. Those are the ones we latch on to and like so well.
    it’s always interesting.
    Heck, they don’t even have to be students. Co-workers and administrators actually following through or returning a phone call when they said is unusual.

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  5. Well, upon reflection, I’ve learned who and who not to trust when they say “Oh, I’ll send an email about that to everyone ______ . (Committee, Singers, etc.) It’s not that they aren’t trustworthy people in the larger sense; their intention is good, but they lack the organization (or memory) to get the job done.

    Unfortunately, I now fall into the category of persons I just described. If you don’t see me write it down, ASSUME NOTHING.

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  7. quick 1200 moles in 36 hours dropping off kids and furniture and going to a meeting on a new business
    makes me late

    my wife knows my character flaw about trusting people
    she gets angry when i trust anyone on her behalf
    business partners
    co workers and colleagues
    guys who say they’ll goaltender pay me tuesday for a hamburger today
    well intentioned computer programmers and repairmen who fail
    people who use my services and throw me under the bus

    no wonder my wife gets pissed

    i am an idiot

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