We drove to Brookings, SD yesterday, a 500 mile trip. There was lots of road construction. I also noticed a few electronic message boards that the various Departments of Transportation entities had installed. The SD message boards won the prize for cuteness with “Be a thinker. Use your blinker”. I was greatly amused last winter to hear a rather conservative member of the ND Legislature wonder if the ND DOT was sending subliminal messages to citizens on the boards. He was quickly shut down.
Son found some messages on-line that I liked:
Get your head out of your apps.
OMG are you texting? I can’t even.
100 is the temperature, not the speed limit.
Visiting in-laws? Slow down, get there late.
Texting and driving? Say it: I am the problem. It’s me!
What would you like to see on electronic highway message boards?
Trail Baboon 
“Keep your eyes on the road
Your hand upon the wheel.”
Roadhouse Blues. The Doors
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Lyrics for the chorus:
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All together now, one, two, three
Keep you mind on your drivin’
Keep you hands on the wheel
Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead
We’re havin’ fun sittin’ in the back seat
Kissin’ and a’huggin with Fred
…
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Rise and Read the Signs, Baboons,
As a kid I loved the Burma Shave signs.watching for them in the ditch on the way to visit Grandma in Pipestone. I cannot remember the lyrics anymore(but I think tim is the one who can quote them). It would be really fun to have some electronic version of them on the road.
Does Burma Shave even exist now? I know the old signs are antique gold. Any company could use the concept.
Burma Shave.
I have not listened to this song by Tom Waits, but it popped up when I searched it.
And I found Burma Shave mugs, too
https://www.zazzle.com/z/afgkbs7k
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I can remember a few:
He lit a match
To check his tank
That’s why
They call him
Skinless Frank
Passing on a hill
Where you can’t see
Might get you
A glimpse
Of eternity
Dinah wouldn’t
Treat him right
But if
He’d shave
Dinah mite!
The draftee
Tried a tube
And purred
Well whatya know
I’ve been defurred!
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Holy Cow, Bill. Well done?
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My recollections are approximate. I know you can find Burma Shave rhymes somewhere online but these were out of my memory.
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Oh, there are a ton of them, between 1927 and 1963:
http://burma-shave.org/jingles/
Here are my favorites so far:
Said farmer Brown
Who’s bald
On top
Wish I could
Rotate the crop
Forest fires
Start from scratch
So think before
You toss
That match
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On the sign: “you’ll get there when you get there. And use your blinker!”
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“Are you sure you locked the front door and turned off the stove before you left home?”
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Followed by
See Dr. Renee for OCD diagnosis and treatment!
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Oh sure, Renee, let’s get some more anxiety producing signs our there. While we’re at it, how about “Did you unplug the iron? “
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“I hope you didn’t pack the car in front where anyone could see”
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I have never heard that one before.
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That would be Robin.
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And my mother!
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Snort!
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“In case you haven’t noticed, there are other vehicles on the road. PAY ATTENTION!
Chris in Owatonna
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“Do you smell something burning?”
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“What’s that funny noise under the hood?”
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“Why are you reading this! Keep your eyes on the road!”
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Renee, given your profession I am starting to think you are dangerous. Wink. Wink.
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Husband says I have always been that way.
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Renee’s way of securing ongoing clients for her profession.
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And what I meant to post (Wes’ Roadhouse Blues. The Doors..) before I got distracted with the 7 Little Girls…
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