2024, Gatherings, Health, Uncategorized, work

Ah, Youth!

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Last week I went out with six coworkers for a farewell luncheon for one of them. These are all young women under the age of 35, all mental health professionals. The lunch was delightful, but the conversation sure made me feel old.

Much of their discussion was about their newest discoveries for facial moisturizers and makeup, their latest experiences getting their nails done, their favorite coffee shops they visit daily, their favorite restaurants, their recent appointments at the chiropractor, and the new tattoos they were planning. Since I don’t wear makeup, have rather nice skin for someone who is almost 66, and would never, ever, get a tattoo, I hadn’t much to say. I have never had a manicure. I have never been to a chiropractor or had a massage. I refuse to spend money at coffee shops when I have perfectly good French press coffee brewed for me every morning by my husband. They were all astounded, however, when I mentioned that I have never had a pedicure. They all agreed that they are going to take me out for a pedicure before I retire. We shall see. I don’t know if I want someone messing around with my feet.

My coworkers view these activities as self care. I could never justify spending all the money that they do on these things. My self care is listening to music, gardening, and cooking. I suppose I spend more money on cooking ingredients than they do, but I am healthier than most of my coworkers and eat way better then they do.

What do you do for self care? What activities did you engage in that your elders shook their heads over when you were young?

40 thoughts on “Ah, Youth!”

  1. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    I have a massage scheduled for later today. Massage is one of the most helpful things I can do for my body, given my complicated medical history. I also get pedicures. While the pretty, shiny toes resulting from a pedicure are nice and fun to look at, pedicures actually prevent my heels from cracking painfully. My heels have cracked since I was a barefoot child or teenager, and that hurts with every step. I am willing to do what it takes to prevent that process.

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      1. She uses a pumice stone to take off the thick callouses that form on the heels. The thick callouses crack in cold weather. If they don’t build up then no cracks.

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    3. Can’t blame you at all! My heels crack too but not that severely. I thought it was because I’m barefoot so much in summer and I abuse my feet, turning my soles to thick leather. It takes all winter to soften them up. I use an OTC product that works well. It’s petroleum based though.

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  2. I exercise A LOT. Eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grains than most people. I listen to music that either calms and relaxes me or energizes me. I visit the dentist and doctor annually for checkups.

    Had one “fun” massage in my life–wife and I on an anniversary trip–a couples massage, I think. Meh. However, I was a regular chiropractic patient for 40+ years because of a balky back (small curvature of my spine causes trouble). never had a mani, pedi, or a facial, and don’t intend to get one.

    But I do go out for coffee several times a week to write. But I mostly get brewed coffee–black, and a sweet treat. I don’t eat out for regular dinners or lunches more than once a month or so–usually with my mom and stepfather.

    My dad probably didn’t understand my infatuation with golf when I first got serious about it in college. Other than that, I don’t think I acted that outrageously in my early adult years.

    Chris in Owatonna

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  3. Out of all those things you mentioned, Renee, I highly recommend trying a therapeutic massage… someone perhaps recommended to you by a person you trust. There is nothing like spending an hour letting go of all the muscle tensions and little “knots” that develop – for me, between my shoulder blades, et al.

    I have a friend here (former practical nurse) who taught therapeutic massage. The school would let people schedule inexpensive massages with students during the second semester (kind of like practice teaching), and D. would tell me who to schedule with…

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    1. my daughter came back at christmas and requested a massage with the person at my chiropractors office because so many massage therapists do fru fru massage that does surface stuff only . she wants stuff blasted out of there
      if your gonna do it be sure to do it right

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  4. I also enjoy coffee – brewed, like Chris – where (in my opinion) they make the best in town, but it’s the social aspect that’s the real draw.

    I can’t think of anything I did that made my elders shake their heads, unless it would have been mini skirts. Uffda – I was such a good girl, at least until college where they didn’t see everything…

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  5. I have been getting therapeutic massages for over 10 years now. I have the therapist use pretty firm pressure – the tight areas hurt while she is massaging them but I feel so good all over when she is done. I have also been seeing a fabulous acupuncturist for about 5 years. She got my left hip/leg back to full range of motion and function after that fracture and she will start working on my right ankle next week. She also keeps my cranky shoulders fully functional and pain free. I have had one formal pedicure – don’t plan to get another. Mostly I need heel calluses pumiced and I can do that myself. I have not had, nor ever will have a manicure. I have very small hands and I have kept my nails very short for decades (for work and for piano). Nail polish looks silly on those tiny nail beds. Like Chris, I exercise a lot in order to stay fairly flexible, strong, and to just keep moving.

    I can’t think of anything I did in my youth that would have elders shaking their heads. Growing up in a tiny town where everybody knew what everybody else was doing kept me on the straight and narrow. Though I did wear some pretty short mini skirts in my day.

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  6. When I was in high school I slit open the legs on all my jeans and added colorful fabric inserts — from bell bottoms to mega bell bottoms. My mother said it was a waste to spend money on clothing for me.

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  7. I went to a chiropractor once, years ago, when I had a persistent backache. It helped briefly. The backache went away forever the day I changed employment.

    I’m sure there were things my elders shook their heads at but I couldn’t tell you what they were. I remember my Dad thought we were very unwise in 1977 when we paid $50,000 for a house.

    As an elder myself, I shake my head at how much the younger set seems not to know, or how narrow and ephemeral the range of things of which they are familiar.

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  8. Massages are WONDERFUL, and can be therapeutic. It might take a few tries to find a person who works right on you, but it’s worth finding.

    I saw a chiropractor for years. After all the medical issues I had in 2022, I questioned if all the back work caused the hematoma on my spine. And I’m disappointed the doc never returned my phone calls.

    I wish I’d been around for the mini-skirts. 🙂

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  9. Sensory input! Do not like being touched. Never had nor never will have a massage.
    Hello all you South Minneapolis folks. Just pulled onto 35W after leaving ANW. This doctor is indignant the procedure was ordered.
    Lately meditation is my method of choice. Meditated off and on in the back seat all the way up. Went into procedure calm as can be.
    Clyde

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  10. My dad really didn’t understand this “theater” thing I was doing.

    I liked wearing neck chains and pendants and my grandmother squashed that with a few negative comments…

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  11. I am, by nature, a cheapskate.
    There’s a chain of large stores, similar to Walmart, but “righteous because the HQ is in Michigan” which has the slogan “Why Pay More?” My slogan would be, “Why pay at all, when you can have the joy of self denial?” I’m not recommending my particular way of life, but “self-care” through spending on some of the activities in which your drinking buddies indulge themselves is beyond my ken.
    The worry-free comfort of my retirement years has been purchased, in part, by the “low on the hog” way of life that my spouse and I lived for so many decades.

    “Low on the Hog” probably goes along with a lot of mud, but mud baths are an indulgence, too.

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    2. I am Dutch (Ostfrieslander) and I have some issues spending money on such frivolity. On the other hand, the German part of me thinks the sky is the limit when buying feather pillows and down comforters.

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      1. I was thinking more along the lines of Puritan, although some of the Dutch are known for making nickels scream. I have had to work a long time to allow myself some frivolity which goes against all my Puritan ancestry. The first time I ever ventured into a store to buy a dress, rather than sew it myself from fabric on sale, I was 32 years old. I found I needed to allow myself to have some nice things or experiences. It added up to a happier life.
        WhenI got married at age 21, I sewed my own wedding dress and veil. The dress cost $18. The dress was great. The husband, not so much.

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      1. About half of those things. I’m not tight-lipped, but overly loquacious. I’m a Scot, on my father’s side, but it’s filtered through some centuries of hillbilly ancestors (the other half of me is Dutch, which can be even tighter than a Scot). I admit to being Presbyterian, but I hope I’m in recovery from that.

        I dislike the penny-pinching part of myself, but that’s the location from which I too-often lead.

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  12. renee
    i think it’s great the girls ask you when you have nothing in common
    tell them you’ll take the money instead

    i buy pipe tobacco today because cigars are too expensive
    it’s a meditative like process for me

    i hadn’t done it since i broke my leg but had a sunny spot outside in florida on 3 occasions

    tea drive me crazy at caribou
    375 for small 4 75 for large ?
    hot water and a tea bag

    in your ear

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  14. I’ve never had a manicure or a pedicure. I’m tempted to have a massage but I probably won’t do it. I feel a bit inhibited about it. A friend gave me one once and she was very firm about it. It really hurt and I didn’t feel like I was relaxing at all.

    I have a bit of a negative response to the fancy manicures and the latex nails that some people have these days. Some of the artwork is very nice. I just can’t see spending that much money on it. Fingernails have never been my friend. I’ve always kept mine short for work and for playing stringed instruments. I don’t know how some of those famous female guitar players can do it with those long nails. Also, the bacteria that collects underneath them – it’s not my thing.

    I treat myself to a road trip to the north shore or somewhere closer if I can’t go and stay overnight. I choose an audio book and drive north. For some reason, it works like therapy for me. I really can feel myself calming down. It’s a strange thing. I know lots of people would prefer not to drive at all. I don’t care for driving in the metro area with heavy traffic and I dislike freeways. I like to stick to the “blue highways.”

    I was the weirdo in my family. I enjoyed art, music, poetry, and fiber arts. I tried to learn songs on my guitar when listening to the radio. It’s hard to do. The songs go by quickly and by the time you’ve figured out what key it’s in and the chorus, it’s over. They thought I was nuts. I loved the 60s and 70s styles and I wanted the gauzy peasant tops, long hair, and big bell bottomed jeans. My dad was furious with me most of the time and made me go change before allowing me to go anywhere quite often.

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    1. Me too. And the other New York case with the DA Letitia James is due for a judgement soon. The guy could soon be broke. Who will he be without his alleged billions?

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  17. I had my first pedicure when I was about 65 years old, and I must say, I was surprised at how pampered it made me feel. I was surprised, too, at how long the red polish lasted on my toenails; it made me smile every time I looked at my feet. I’ve had two since then, and one manicure. The manicure I didn’t care for, at all. I’ve had a couple of facials, and would consider getting another, though it’s not high on my list of priorities.

    Massages, though, sign me up! While I was still working, I considered a weekly massage a necessity for stress management. I haven’t had one since the pandemic shut everything down, so I’m long overdue for one. A week long stay at a desert spa sounds like something I’d like to experience before I die, though it’s doubtful that I will.

    I’ve probably done lots of things that older folks didn’t approve of, including some that I myself would consider foolish now. If I had it all to do over, I’d make some different choices, but somehow I doubt that I’d be any happier with them. Live and learn, that’s what I say.

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  18. I don’t have massages very often – haven’t had one for maybe five years or so – but I do think there are definite benefits.

    Never tried acrylic nails, but they sure look like they’d make your hands virtually useless.

    I wouldn’t buy a coffee from a coffee shop every day, but it’s a nice treat to have one from time to time.

    I think when I was young my elders were probably puzzled by the way music played such a central role in my life and the lives of my friends. I spent maybe two or three hours every day listening to music. In my circle of friends we all had strong opinions about what music was cool and what wasn’t worth our time. I don’t think my mother’s generation had their identities wrapped up in their musical tastes in quite the same way.

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