2024, Family, Gatherings, Kids, Uncategorized

Naughty!

35 Comments

We went to a very early Christmas Eve Service at 1:30 PM on Tuesday. It was nice to be in the congregation instead of being a church musician. Nice, that is, aside from the three very naughty children in the pew in front of us.

The children in question were apparently cousins sitting between their mothers. One was an 8 year old girl in a green, spangly dress. The other two were brothers, ages about 8 and 4. The girl’s mother was somewhat attentive. The boys’ mother was somewhat inert. Their father was seated on the other side of her from the boys, and he didn’t seem to notice what they were doing.

No one sat still. There was constant movement and activity. The four year old was the major instigator of trouble. The adults had wisely provided crayons and papers to color on, but the four year old decided crayons were weapons to draw on his brother and stick in his brother’s ears. He blew raspberries at his brother and cousin and they pushed and shoved him. Sometimes they tried to ignore him. There were snacks and crackers all over the pew. The boys’ mom sometimes whispered to them to settle down, but did nothing to stop any of the activity. This went on the entire service.

It wasn’t until the four year old decided to start smashing Goldfish Crackers in his brother’s hair that I intervened. I tapped him lightly on the shoulder with my bulletin. He spun around, saw my glare, sat down, and didn’t move for the rest of the service. I am happy to say that our grandson colored quietly for the majority of the service.

What were the most difficult venues for you to behave in? How would your parents have handled the naughty ones I encountered?

35 thoughts on “Naughty!”

  1. I annoy my wife at social gatherings by being witty, charming and occasionally reading an excerpt from work in progress. Last night, for instance …

    GHANAIAN BISHOP JOSEPH AKWANDE had served as a visiting priest at the SagGha Temple in Pulina Nava for six months. He knew the prospective bride and groom by their attendance at Mass, kind of.

    They seemed nice enough, but Mason Fowlkes and Marie Jourdaine were heirs to a ruling class culture, members of Guru Orsa’s household, and famous.

    Akwande thought of himself as a servant of the common man. And so, he had a tendency to shine his light everywhere except upon the privileged class.

    But now that he was slated to officiate the Fowlkes/Jourdaine wedding, he was embarrassed by the impression he might have made.

    519 words in all. Less than 3 minutes worth, after patiently listening while everyone else had their say. Don’t talk. Don’t look at your phone. I sat still while you rattled on about your granddaughter’s piano recital. It’s my turn.

    Artists must suffer for their art. So must the audience.

    Liked by 7 people

    Reply

  3. I found church unutterably boring as a child. Sometimes still do.Now that I am older and somewhat arthritic I dislike all the standing up to sing hymns. Just let me sit!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. That’s hilarious, Renee – you hit on something that worked on the 4-year-old. You must have THAT LOOK that my mom had, no words necessary… I don’t know if either of my folks would have wanted to risk offending the adults to do what you did. I hope I would have.

      I was generally very well-behaved, but was once caught sneaking frosting off the top of the cupcakes that were meant for a birthday treat…

      Liked by 4 people

      Reply

  5. My folks were “taker outers“. If you misbehaved in a restaurant, in church, anywhere — you got taken out. And I learned it at their knee so when YA was little, that was how it worked as well. Luckily YA was not that mischievous when we were out and about. I do remember once that I picked her up and carried her out of Taco Bell, leaving the food on the table. She was about three and I think she was shocked by the fact that we left the food and left the restaurant and she didn’t get back to it.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. I left a full cart in the grocery store with my son in my arms once during an intense episode of poor behavior and defiance. It was very hot so I took him to the car, opened all the windows and put him in the car to finish yelling and crying while I stood right there. An old gentleman walked by and asked, “Little boy, what is wrong?” And he looked at me. My extremely verbal tiny boy, yelled, “Oh shut up, you f***ing a******.” This was the same child who called my authoritarian mother “Fartface.”

      He still swears a lot.

      Liked by 4 people

      Reply

      2. I would like to know how you handled the car situation?

        I left daughter in the car one day while I ran into Salvation Army to pick up one thing. It wasn’t too hot, and she was 20 yrs old, but looks so much younger, and she’s fine. But while I’m stuck in a check out lane with the person ahead of me buying SO MUCH glassware and the clerk wrapping each individually and talking about each piece and I’m watching a woman outside giving my car a hard eye.
        I finally get out there, the woman is still loading her car nearby and keeping an eye on me, and daughter has stuck a dozen post it notes on the windows. Jokes, messages to me, random stuff she wrote. Thankfully she didn’t write “Help Me” on one of them.

        Liked by 4 people

        Reply

  6. Said to say, I am not very fond of funerals. There’s the obvious reasons of course, but the current trend in having individuals talk about the deceased at length just doesn’t do it for me. There was one a couple of years ago, where the commentary went on for an hour and 40 minutes. Luckily I was at the back of the room so the fact that I was continually rolling, my eyes didn’t offend anyone.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

      1. I should probably have made it more clear that I don’t have any problems with loved ones of the deceased speaking. I’m talking about open mic where people are encouraged to come up who haven’t spent even a minute’s thought of what they’re going to say before they get to the microphone.

        Liked by 4 people

        Reply

  7. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    I was never very well behaved, in church or elsewhere. I was pretty curious which led me to all kinds of trouble. However, I was so afraid of my mother I would try (usually unsuccessfully) not to misbehave around her, but that made me anxious. Around my dad I did not behave poorly because he would engage me in interesting conversations or games, and he would explain how things worked which I loved. Or he would put me up on his shoulders where I could view the proceedings without going anywhere.

    My very competent grandmother was a master at entertaining children in church. However, she should have been with 8 children and 39 grandchildren. Grandma would trade my being quiet for entertainment during the sermon. She brought out her cloth hanky from the bottomless purse, then she would twist and tie it into shapes. I would have to untie the knots for the next demonstration. I especially remember that a large hanky would become a cradle that held the nickels she supplied for the church offering plate. She would swing that between her fingers, bewitching me for a bit. Several cousins were quite hyperactive. When at her house she would line up dried beans for them to count. I heard that worked until Cousin Harold stuck them up his nose.

    Renee, I laughed at how the boys used the crayons. My son also used crayons for anything except coloring, usually building roads for his Hotwheels cars. Interestingly enough, he now works for a logistics company designing gizmos to navigate roads and track trucking routes.

    I recently returned to attending church at Lou’s request. This church is ingenious at managing children’s behavior. There is a nursery room, as well as Sunday school during church and a children’s sermon. For kids who want to stay in church, in the front of the sanctuary, right under the minister’s nose, is a children’s table full of art supplies, where kids can sit and color and listen. That table is usually full of 2-6 kids coloring away and being very quiet. What a concept!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

        1. She really was quite the lady. When she left her house there were stackss of cloth hankies in a drawer. She always had several in her purse.

          Liked by 4 people

  8. Church was right up there as a difficult venue for me. I was raised to be an outdoor kid, and church was stifling and incredibly boring. I used to look up toward the ceiling to look at the light and let my imagination run wild. The Associated Church in Owatonna had ledges about 3/4 of the way up the walls of the sanctuary that had lights on top (like a clerestory without the windows). You couldn’t see the lights themselves, just the light as it illuminated the ceiling and the space. I used to imagine ponies and puppies were playing up there on the ledge out of my sight, and that if I waited long enough a puppy would fall straight down into my lap.

    I had very strict parents. Stricter than most, I think. We were well-behaved kids. I didn’t like my brothers touching me though, so there was some wiggling to get away from them. Wiggling would get me the laser-beam eyes from Mom. If it continued, Dad would give me a look that could freeze my bowels. They were ‘taker-outers’ too. Any infraction or noise after getting ‘the look’ would get me removed.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  10. Oh yes, Church was, and still is, terribly boring. I never could concentrate, my mind would wander. The church where I grew up had big light fixtures that were “+” shaped with lights in each bar. I’d stare at them for the whole service. I remember being real young and I could put my head in mom’s lap. But as I got older, mom and Dad both had the glare. That’s all it took. Dad ushered a lot, so maybe it was just mom.
    When I got older I would acolyte with my cousin Marcie, so that gave me something to do. Course we’d be sitting in the front row, and I think once got in trouble from the minister for fidgeting too much. I don’t remember if he glared at us too, or told mom and dad afterward.
    Once Confirmation started, I could sit in the balcony, mostly unobserved, to do sermon notes and play in my own little world…

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

Leave a comment