Category Archives: Songs

Poems, Songs

Super Rhyme XLVII

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Here’s a Super Bowl poem from Trail Baboon’s rhyming poet laureate, Schulyer Tyler Wyler.  A common question on the Monday after the world’s largest remaining Roman Numeraled Event is “Did you watch the Super Bowl?”  I suggested that phrase as a title for the poem, and told STW he could come up with the rest as long as it doesn’t go on for too many verses.

STW said he was willing to take on this project under three conditions:

  1. He could base the poem on the rhythm and rhyme scheme of the song “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Miserables. “I just saw the new film version and that stupid song is stuck in my head,” he said. “‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ and ‘Did You Watch The Super Bowl’ have the same number of syllables, so I should be able to do it in ten minutes flat, and maybe this will help me banish the thing from my brain at long last.”
  2. I would not require him to actually watch the game or know anything about it.
  3. I would pay him in advance.

Since I AM interested in watching the game and did not want to have to come up with a blog post for today, and since STW and I always deal in make-believe money,  I agreed to pay him $1,000 pretend dollars and he got to work immediately.

For reference, here’s the original song, from the 1998 film version.

Did you watch the Super Bowl?
There was a lot of stuff to see.
There was a ton of advertising
pushing stuff that’s not for me.

There were men who came to play
fighting about an oblong ball
but what they did I cannot say
for I don’t recall.

I saw puppies and a baby.
Sloppy kissing and a car.
Some beer was drunk by people
but don’t ask me who they are.
It all was a blur, and so noisy.
I watched in a bar!

Did you see the Super Bowl?
Yes but it all went by so quick.
There was a time when I blacked out.
I’m sure the nachos made me sick.

There were fortunes that were lost.
There was a bunch of money won.
But it did not appear to me
anyone had fun.

There were folks with painted faces
wearing beads for Mardi Gras.
There were men so overweight
they needed girdles and a bra.
And that was my family, I hope that
nobody else saw!

Did you see the Super Bowl?
Well yes I knew that it was on.
And I suppose I watched a little
bit while stifling a yawn.

I am sure they’ll play again.
Two super teams will get their shot.
And which teams played the game this year
I will have forgot.

I’m pretty sure I did not get my make-believe money’s worth from rhyming poet laureate Schuyler Tyler Wyler, but that’s what the morning after the Super Bowl is for – waking up with the feeling that you’ve just thrown away a bunch of time and money on something meaningless.

And I think he was lying about not watching the game. That line about blacking out is a clear reference to the 3rd quarter power failure at the Super Dome.

What do you do when the electricity goes out?

Songs

I’ve Just Seen A Face

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There’s a fresh kerfuffle over an imagined proposal to use Neanderthal DNA to produce a clone of our prehistoric cousins.

The professor who supposedly made the suggestion claims his comments were poorly translated and misunderstood. Ethicists say it’s a bad idea in any case.

No one is enthusiastic about the concept of bringing back to life some distant relatives who might have been boyfriend/girlfriend material for early humans in the unregulated, romantic days of yore.

Far flung, anything-goes Yore.

Yes, everybody’s against cloning the Neanderthals, though I’m guessing the songwriters would see some intriguing possibilities in the adventurous sexual dynamic that could develop. Imagine, if human / neanderthal dating had been a possibility when The Beatles wrote this:

It might have come out more like this:

I’ve just seen a face,
that was extinct. With hairy grace
I think she winked. She’s a Neanderthal
but I don’t think my folks will care at all.
Na na na na na na

Had I loved some missing link
I might have worried what they’d think
Neanderthals are just like us
Except they’re stronger and they never cuss
Na na na na na na

CHORUS:
Cloning. Let’s do some cloning.
Start Twilight Zoning them back again.

I love every ridge
of her thick skull. Her name is Midge.
She’s never dull. A prehistoric Miss
My human heart, each time we kiss, is full.
Na na na na na na.

CHORUS

Yes I’d like a chance
To take a fossil to the dance
It’s not impossible to clone a date
No love affair has come as late as this.
Na na na na na na.

Who was your least (or most) compatible date?

Songs

A Song That Sums It All Up

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Baboons provided an eye-opening discussion yesterday on the topic of whether or not they would want to be immortal. If you haven’t read the comments, take a look.

My assessment – mixed feelings though a clear majority of the group voted “No”!

There were some wafflers, mostly conflicted over the trade-offs and what else might come along as part of the immortality bargain. After all, living forever is a whole lot more attractive if it comes with a guarantee that your eternity will be spent healthy and pain-free.

And then Steve posted this comment …

… which made me think of a song by Harry Nilsson that has been a favorite since I first heard it when I was 18 years old. Nilsson recorded the song with a boisterous chorus of senior citizens singing along with a piano, an accordion and a tuba.

I often wondered as I listened to the song how those old people really felt about the lyrics – after all, “I’d Rather Be Dead (Than Wet My Bed)” is a rather cheeky sentiment to put in the mouths of octogenarians. Then I found this clip from a Nilsson documentary on You Tube and learned the amazing secret of making the session enjoyable for everyone – a new suit for Harry, and lots of sherry for everyone else!

Name a song you would have to be drunk to sing in public.

Songs

HB, RN

65 Comments

I’m a Randy Newman fan, and today is his birthday.
It’s a good reason to spend too much time online listening to amazing songs with wonderfully catchy piano riffs, like this one.

Newman writes about religion more than any songwriter I know, and with more nuance than anyone who addresses the topic, period. All in just over three minutes.

But lest you think Randy Newman blames God for all our problems, here’s one where he makes a point of NOT pointing a finger heavenward.

Newman’s song about his upbringing in L.A. And New Orleans is called Dixie Flyer, after a train linking the cities.

What name would you give to a song about your childhood?

Songs, The Baboon Congress

Will You Marry Me?

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Today’s guest post comes from Beth-Ann.

When my son was young we were at Como Park and as happens on many sunny Saturdays there was a wedding party posing for photographs. It was a large Filipino family wearing flouncy dresses and elegant tuxes. The bride’s dress was layers and layers of white lace with a long train.

My son turned to me and said, “Now I know why you never got married. ”

I was interested in his analysis and asked him why.

His preschooler answer was, “That dress looks awfully itchy. You wouldn’t want to wear it.”

I think my unmarried state is related to more complex social interactions, and because Prince Charming never showed with ring in hand to propose.  But my son was right, that dress did look itchy.  With all the talk surrounding the marriage amendment I’ve recently been revisiting the question of why people get married and why at a time when the divorce rate is reported to be 50% do same sex couples in this country want so desperately to follow suit?

I think we’re past the time when women married for economic security. Similarly, all sorts of statistics and observations confirm that few people wait until marriage to have sex. Many couples don’t even wait until marriage to have kids. So if the sociological and natural law descriptions that marriage is for breeding and money/survival no longer apply, what’s the allure?

Some of the most heartfelt words about marriage these days seem to come from members of the gay community who in most states are denied the chance to marry. Two young Minnesotan men wrote the following:

On May 22nd we were married in the chapel. Surrounded by nearly 200 friends and family, in the presence of God, we made sacred vows to love and honor one another in sickness and in health, when times are good and when things get tough. We made a public promise of responsibility for each other and asked our loved ones to support us and hold us accountable. We married for the same reasons heterosexuals couples marry: To make a lifetime commitment to the one we love in the presence of our friends and family; to share the joys and sorrows that life brings; to be a family, and to be able to protect that family.

This ideal is reflected in a video posted by the local duo Neal and Leandra.

For those who have the legal right to do it, getting married is the easy part (itchy dress notwithstanding). Staying together appears to be the bigger challenge.

How and why do people stay married?

Songs, The Baboon Congress

koo?

60 Comments

Today’s guest post comes from tim.

the igsnats is raggled and sort of bedraggled and ferbuffing aballa chome
but just as she twizzled the homdong bedrizzled yo wassled im baxters liloam

it’s maxish ro traxish sel codee bulaxes faranda buttu or benigh
this eeps quite bittully lets not get unruly, erick and betook and oligh

ley boonk the bitussal because its refusal will dibble the gartz quite aboonly
if carblish is true then bortookly ri blue is the obvious ash to the junetree

i fear that nuressel quips inside my vessel and higgles to felton arral
if westleward ginkles leave bitelshear sprinkles amid levelosh divinthol

a quasterly mumfly domes flamen tumumkly emfatably worsle benee
ip waller gnishby sees more of the kish he rekembles his farberly wee

Do you ever have your warble go koo?

Poems, Songs

John Barleycorn Must DNA

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Barley made the news yesterday, in part thanks to a Minnesota scientist. Professor Gary Muehlbauer of the Department of Agronomy and Plant Genetics at the University of Minnesota and a cadre of international researchers managed to sequence the genome for barley, said to be “one of the world’s most important and genetically complex cereal crops“. Results were published in the journal Nature. Apparently this work could lead to higher barley yields, better resistance to pests, and enhanced nutritional value. It may also help barley adapt to the stresses of climate change.

You know what that means – we can trash the environment and still have beer!

Congratulations to the researchers. A round for all my genome sequencing friends! It made me think of this old song about barley and its role in the beer and whiskey making process. Sung here by Martin Carthy.

The scientists have done their best
employing all their means
They found out, using every test,
John Barleycorn has genes!

They chopped him up so very small
and put him on display.
Tore him apart to see it all
and mapped his DNA.

If you were him by now you’d know
the sum of all your parts.
What makes you wilt. What helps you grow.
The compounds in your farts.

The sequence tells us who he is,
of what he is composed.
His elements, his spark, his fizz.
John Barleycorn, exposed.

Would you want to have a map of your DNA?

Songs

Trying to Stay on Track

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Hearing the kerfuffle about Mitt Romney’s comments at a supposedly private fundraiser about the freeloading 47%, I was reminded of this ballad about a train wreck. The Wreck of the Old 97 is something that really happened back in late September of 1903. An engineer, Steve Broady, was urged by his superiors to get the mail delivered on time even though he was well behind schedule. The results were disastrous.

Every political candidate who has handlers is constantly under pressure to stay “on message”, even if it means following a rather narrow track. I can only imagine how tempting it is to simply push the throttle forward and feel the wind tousle your beautiful hair!

Here’s the original version of The Wreck of the Old 97.

Well they fed him the numbers for his target percentage
sayin’ “don’t speak this out loud.”
But you can never appeal to the frail 47
They’re a whiney liberal crowd.

So he turned around and said to his hoity toity funders
“We can win it with 53
If we pick up every voter between Lynchburg and Danville
that’s including you and me”

There was someone in the crowd taking pictures with a camera
of the whole off-record speech.
Then he posted it online just to cause a lot of trouble
What a lazy, shiftless leech!

So they backpedaled all day. Every interview on cable
started with that thing he said.
About victims and entitlements and living on the dole
and how cheesecake is not like bread.

So now all you politicians better keep on your message
’til your eyeballs start to burn.
Never say another word about the pampered 47
or your older tax returns.

When have you become completely derailed?

Songs

Some Songs by Steve Goodman

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Today would have been the 64th birthday of the Chicago singer and songwriter Steve Goodman. Not that we need a reason to spend some time listening to him, but any excuse is good enough to detour into the Goodman archive.

Steve Goodman was born in 1948 and only made it to age 36, but what an amazing accomplishment that was when you consider that he was diagnosed with leukemia at age 20 and fought through the illness and fatigue to make such a lasting impression. It could not have been easy to project the kind of energy and enthusiasm he did through all the pain and discomfort that comes with the disease.

He did it with his pen, writing a song that by now has been in the world longer than he ever was – “The City of New Orleans.” It will still be here after all of us are gone.

Steve Goodman also amazed with his abilities as an interpreter. This is his version of Michael Smith’s song “The Dutchman.” It’s also a treat to watch for the clearly loving and respectful interplay with the great Jethro Burns.

And Steve Goodman wowed us with his dexterity and good humor on old standards you wouldn’t expect a folk singer to attempt.

Steve Goodman was a funny, inspiring and entertaining fellow. And he still is. After they are gone, the world mourns musicians in varying degrees – mostly in proportion to their record sales. I know people who are still broken up about the loss of Elvis, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Buddy Holly – great talents all. The size of their following doesn’t matter as much as they way they connected – like all music it’s still a matter of individual taste and it becomes a rather senseless exercise to contrast and compare.

But if I could bring back one musician from among the legions who left too soon, I think I’d most enjoy hearing more from Steve Goodman.

You have the power to resurrect the singer of your choice. Who?

Songs

The Wedding Dance

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Here is a tricky social situation, just right for navigation by sensitive baboons. The note comes from Jane Beauchamp – a former Morning Show listener, sometime Trial Baboon reader and permanently proud mother who is about to have an FTD moment.

FTD in this case means “Forced To Dance.”

My son is 24 years old and marrying his high school sweetheart in an outdoor garden ceremony July 21 at a local country club to which her parents belong. He’s my oldest and the first of any of his friends to get married. I’ve not been very involved in the planning but it appears that it will be an elegant affair; a champagne reception and formal dinner follows the ceremony, after which the dance begins.

The challenge, then, is to come up with exactly the right piece of music to make the obligatory mother/son wedding dance both memorable and painless.

My son and I agree that a) neither of us are great dancers of any genre and b) we do not want anything that is very sentimental/syrupy/pop culture type of thing that would leave his mother (me) weeping in a heap on the dance floor. In fact, if we could avoid the whole dance thing that would probably be better, but I’ve been advised that isn’t part of the program for the evening, and, honestly, I would likely regret it if we didn’t do it.

What is the solution? Jane says the tune should be “something classic but/and fun; short vs. many verses is better; and beyond that we’re open.” Here’s a little more background to help guide you as you sift through your musical back stacks.

When my boys were growing up, we’d listen to The Morning Show every morning on the way to school. I like many other of your listeners told them it was my way of supporting a part of their music education. It was my only chance music-wise, as they both are very competitive athletes and that’s where their interests were. The son getting married played high school and college soccer; since finishing college, he’s been in sales for a national insurance company and loves the different type of competition he experiences there. He and his fiance have a small dog, Jolie, who they love to pieces, and when they’re not planning their wedding they like to travel (France, US, Mexico) and cook.

Stories? Suggestions? Songs?