It appears to be supermarket/big box store week here at Trail Baboon. Monday we talked about satellite surveillance of the parking lot and our personal habits around the cart corral. Yesterday it was the Future Of Bananas.
Today there is evidence from New York City and Warroad, Minnesota that hi-jinks happen at the cash register and most people, even careful shoppers, usually don’t go to the trouble to check.
In New York, an investigation found half of the supermarkets overcharged for the products they were selling.
And in Warroad, a grocery store cashier has admitted stealing money gradually over the course of three years. He says he took “about 100” dollars each shift for a total of around 5 thousand dollars. Authorities claim he siphoned off 52 thousand dollars. I know the people behind me in line are going to have to wait, but I guess I need to talk to a manager about the discrepancy in this bill.
I admit that I will stand in the middle of the grocery store aisle choking traffic for ten minutes while I weigh the merits of two rolls of paper towels, comparing them for value based on square footage, sheet count and thickness of the ply. But I do not watch the prices as they go up on the screen when I check out, and I don’t review the receipt.
Newly concerned about being hornswaggled, I contacted Captain Billy of the Muskellunge and he confirmed my worst fears:
Aye, we don’t even call ‘em “supermarket cashiers”. “Land pirates” is the name we has for ‘em. If’n I was to come ashore lookin’ fer likely candidates t’ join us aboard th’ Muskellunge, the grocery store check out line is the first place I’d go, on account of the people what works there is strong from standin’ all day, fast with their hands, an’ they is already well acquainted with every variety of homo sapiens what walks th’ earth. When we is pillagin’ a village, my “land pirates” is th’ ones I sends in first, ‘cause they ain’t surprised by nothin’.
I assured Captain Billy that the vast majority of supermarket clerks are honest and kind and not at all piratical. He laughed.
“Suit yerself,” is all he said.
Do you check the prices as they ring up?
Do you review receipts?
Paper or Plastic?