Tag Archives: haiku

Rough Landing Haiku

Space travel fans and recyclers are full of admiration for the people at Space-X, who come closer with each attempt to doing something the throw-away generation of the ’60’s didn’t even consider. They’re trying to create a rocket booster that can carry a vehicle to orbit, and then land, vertically, the same way it took off.

To allow some room for error, they built a barge that can float out in the ocean, away from population centers. Smart, but problematic, as it creates a somewhat unsteady surface.

This last time they came quite close to making it work.

I love the slow yielding to gravity at the end, as it gradually becomes clear we are not going to remain vertical.

The fall takes about 7 seconds – just long enough to read three lines of 5, 7 and 5 syllables.

if there is no land
just a barge in the ocean
there is no landing

falling down to earth,
a job anything can do,
gets tricky at last

hold the platform still
and I will stick the dismount
at some other time

practice makes perfect
but first some big explosions
for entertainment

Space X says next time, they’ll try to do the landing where there is actually some land.

When has practice made perfect for you?

POTUS Minimus

Tonight the President of the United States will deliver his annual State of the Union address.

This is a ceremonial event that has it’s own set of routine features:

  • The president will trumpet his accomplishments and challenge his many foes.
  • He’ll introduce a list of guests sitting in the gallery.
  • The phrase “My fellow Americans …” will be included, even though roughly half of all Americans are not fellows.
  • Media reports will list the number of times he was “interrupted” by applause.
  • It will take a while.

Or he could set a precedent for State of the Union addresses, which are causing less and less of a stir news-wise because they are so predictable.

He could boil it down to three lines of 5, 7 and 5 syllables.

I.
Hey Americans,
Skip fancy salutations.
State of the Haiku!

II.
Legislation? Eh.
A divided government
means more golf for me!

III.
Posturing feels good
Until your talking points meet
My sharpened pencil.

IV.
Everyone stand up!
I’m so pleased to have you here
Sitting by Michelle.

V.
The Union is strong!
Good, Tops, Awesome, or The Bomb.
Not many options.

Anyone can be president. Write your own State of the Union!

Death Complaint Haiku

My apologies, Baboons, for the absence of a fresh post yesterday. I mis-entered some information in the WordPress machinery and my tidbit languished, waiting to launch at 5:41 pm rather than its usual time at 2 am. This allowed for an extended conversation of Spring gardening plans, which turned out to be exactly the right topic for baboons to discuss on a snowy Tuesday.

The snafu also led to some speculation that I had met an early demise, which is certainly within the realm of possibility, but thankfully it was not true this time. As a human living on Earth, I have noted with chagrin the vast number and variety of possible exits from this life – most of them unpleasant and all of them unjust.

And yet, some days it seems like the universe wants to find memorable ways to demonstrate that it is inherently unfair, causing innocent people lose their lives in unfortunate accidents. I am reminded of this by the astounding case of Mr. Jeff Bush of Seffner, Florida.

Last Thursday, he climbed into his bed only to have a sinkhole open right beneath him. What are the chances?

Bush’s brother attempted a rescue as the bedroom was collapsing, but it was not to be. First responders looked and listened for a sign that the victim was still alive in the hole, but no signal was received. Authorities have determined the body to be “unrecoverable”, due to the awkward logistics of these unexpected openings in the porous limestone that undergirds Florida and several other states.

There are no “good” ways to go and every loss is a tragedy. But this one seems particularly capricious. In fact, an aggrieved person would be justified in lodging a complaint at the Pearly Gates. Though with so many new arrivals having legitimate gripes, a word limit on the appeals would be wise, no doubt.

Could you put it in a haiku?

I.
I had just started
“Now I lay me down to sleep”
What was your hurry?

II.
Piano movers
really shouldn’t text while they
are holding the rope.

III.
Never listen when
any photographer says
“Take one more step back”

IV.
Other times I ate
identical sandwiches
they slid down just fine.

V.
In retrospect that
pricey, stable stepladder
was a better buy.

VI.
That locomotive
was slower than my Harley.
Timing is crucial.

Speaking of timing, later might be way too late. Better write yours now.