Today’s post is by Bart, the bear who found a smart phone in the woods.
H’lo, Bart here.
Really interested in this story about how bad it is to eat late at night. Here’s what opened my eyes – I never thought you could decide for yourself when the meals happen.
They say we bears are “opportunistic eaters“, which is another way of saying dinnertime is whenever I can find something, or when unsuspecting food wanders into my reach. And really, how could it be any other way? I have to get lots of fat built up for winter, so I can’t ever afford to say “No”!
Especially if donuts are involved.
This makes me like a lot of people who seem to swallow things for entertainment, or just because it’s there.
I see the kitchen lights on late at night, and then I see the bedroom and bathroom lights come on even later! Yes, I’m just out of sight in the trees, and I’m taking notes!
Those notes say your midnight buffets have to stop, because acid reflux is a nasty, should-never-happen type of thing, just like wrong-way drivers or falling down a ladder.
So here’s Bart’s Acid Reflux action plan: Whenever you feel the urge to eat something after dark, you should follow these simple Bart-approved steps:
- Find the food that’s tempting you.
- Put the food into a loose, open bag.
- Set the bag outside, in the yard, at least 50 feet from any structure.
- Bring the dog in.
- Turn out the light.
If the food is still there in the morning, you were meant to have it, so chow down. The morning is a much better time to take in large quantities of food anyway!
Or so they tell me.
If you follow my instructions you’ll feel better and sleep better.
This is also a great weight-loss strategy! The reason so many diets fail is this: people expect their excess pounds to just disappear, and that’s unreasonable. But if you follow the simple steps listed above, you’ll really be donating your future fat to someone else who needs it more!
It makes perfect sense. Especially if you live right on the edge of the woods!
Your Pal,
Bart
How late is your last meal of the day?
Trail Baboon 