Bud Buck Opines!

A lot of the news isn’t news anymore, it’s opinion. Why? Because it’s much easier to generate an opinion than it is to track down and confirm a fact. Many “news organizations” rely heavily on pundits because it’s a low cost way to chew up time.

Here at Trail Baboon, we’re no different. Our staff reporter, Bud Buck, didn’t want to lose his weekend to all the turmoil at the capitol, and we didn’t want to pay his per diem! The solution? He spent Saturday and Sunday relaxing at home and checked the headlines every now and then. Late last night he was able to knock out this wordy document based on a few clips he caught on TV and some other stuff he saw online.

It’s not exactly the news, but it sounds important and knowledgeable, and it only took ten minutes for him to do it. Win-win! Cheap content is good enough if it makes you look. Even we can afford that!

This is Bud Buck with the Bud’s NewsBucket of News!

I have progress to report at the Capitol. That’s right, I said progress!

Though they were unable to reach a budget agreement with the Democrat in the Governor’s office, the Republican dominated legislature of Minnesota has at least followed through with a radical job creation bill – the Bogeyman Promoting, Alarm Heightening, Outrage Generating and Placard Producing Bill of 2011, otherwise known as the Constitutional Amendment on Marriage.

This is an aggressive effort to pump hundreds of millions of local and outside dollars into businesses that provide every possible avenue for influencing public opinion, be it advertising, analyzing, punditizing, provoking, generalizing, demonizing, radicalizing and traumatizing. Over the next 14 months, anyone with an incendiary idea to sell on either side of the gay marriage debate will have Minnesota buyers eager to invest! Thousands of gallons of bile will be produced! There will be lots of jobs for exaggerators! And it’s good news for quote manufacturers too! Politicians throw exclamation points around casually, but did you know that before professional reflex provokers can cast a single aspersion, a punctuation worker somewhere has to dig an exclamation point out of the soil with his bare hands? It’s good, honest work, and it’s growing because lots of exclamation points will be needed in the coming months! Really!

And the timing couldn’t be better, since these same hyperbolic industries frame much of the conversation around presidential campaigns. They were expecting to have a big, big year in 2012. But now that Barack Obama is getting credit for taking down Osama Bin Laden, the political calculus is leading potential Republican challengers to forego a run. One notable exception – the Pawlenty campaign officially launches today!

And yes, it’s a job creator! This campaign will be a shot in the arm for the Overly Dramatic Music Industry. Pawlenty videos lay it on thick, the same way I smother a salad in bleu cheese dressing – because I hate the leafy vegetables underneath! There’s so much volume on the voices and the strings that by the end of his pitch, I can hardly hear what he’s saying. Probably just as well, but I think it’s something about telling us “the truth”.

The last time a Minnesotan ran for president and promised to tell us the truth, it was Walter Mondale in 1984 and he was admitting he would regretfully have to raise taxes. I have a feeling that won’t be the message this time!

But I sure hope there are no gay people involved in any of these necessary word and image-based political industries. It would be a shame if they got the idea that Minnesota was inhospitable and left the state for greener pastures. After all, Iowa is right next door.

This is Bud Buck!

Bud is meandering all over the place, but he might have a point in there someplace. It could turn out that the struggle for hearts and minds will spark an economic resurgence in Minnesota. Unlimited spending starts now and goes through November, 2012!

What role will you play in the Outrage Based Economy?

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71 thoughts on “Bud Buck Opines!”

  1. Good morning baboons wake up and smell the prejudice. I am glad that Bud was able to identify the positive economic benefit of this hate-filled legislation.

    Still I think more money would be spent and more jobs created if we encouraged an expanded definition of marriage. Think of all the money that could be spent on tulle, rice, and limo rentals. Jobs as bakers, photographers, and bridal train carriers would bring an uptick in employment.

    I await Bud’s analysis of the whole situation.

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    1. I hope you’re right, Beth-Ann. The Wedding Planner Economy would be much more fun that the Outrage Economy, but I’m afraid we’ll have to do the ugly part first.

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      1. Maybe we could “juice” the WPE by sending tulle-wrapped bubble containers to everyone in the state. Hard to be outraged or even cranky when you’re blowing bubbles.

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  2. Morning all…sounds like everybody came through the storms OK?

    Just about time for another yard sign for us here. For most of the time I’ve lived in this house I’ve been able to direct people to my house by describing whatever yardsign (or “bleeding heart liberal yardsign” as my friend Alan says) is up. Haven’t had anything up for awhile now.

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  3. Good morning to all:

    I will be getting the phone calls, mail, broadcasts and all the other products of the outrage based economy. I will keep the outrage going by not agreeing with it. They make a lot of calls to me because they seem to think they can change my mind. Without people like me, they wouldn’t employ nearly as many people in the outrage based economy because it only works if they have people to constantly annoy. I don’t think I will stop being annoyed any time soon, so I am undoubtly going to be a big part of this economy.

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  4. Rise and Express Your Outrage Baboons!

    Do I want a role in the OBE (Outraged Based Economy)? I’m not sure I do. From 2000-2008 (read that “W”/Cheney) my outrage was so outrageous that I just had to shut it down or I would have spent every minute being angry. This led to no TV news and newspaper skimming that allowed me to skip what I did not want to know, etc.

    The Daily Show seemed to be the only cure. Laughing at least allowed for survival without high blood pressure.

    T-Paw kind of has the same effect on me. I just want to crawl under the bed. But I will once again pull out the credit card and send donations to the causes and candidates who appear more credible to me.

    Or maybe I will check out emigration to Canada or New Zealand or Australia. I suppose I could still do the blog from there. But then I can’t do the Blevin’s Book Club anymore.

    Sigh. I really don’t like the OBE.

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    1. did you know w has so far earned 15 million for speaking on how he wants to stay out of the limelight.
      tpaw is looking forward to being less everything than w.

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    2. I probably should do like you, Jacque, and stop watching and listening to the OBE products. I have made some contributions to the opposition, but now I am wondering if that really helps. All we get, in many cases, is more bad government. There has been very little real change even when there should have been enough votes to make some significant changes and now it is harder to get those votes. Maybe it really is time to move to Canada.

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    3. A very smart, very politically savvy friend of mine (who now lives in MA, but used to live here) points out that MN needs reasoned folk like us to stay here and fight the good fight. Moving to Canada would only solve the problem for us, unfortunately. We survive the Reagan years, we can survive this. :)

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      1. I agree, Anna. Tempting as it is, moving to Canada is not the solution. We will survive and hopefully, even prevail.

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      2. I’m not really planning to move to Canada. I am still hoping for real change which isn’t what we are getting. We are still in the Reagan years.

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  5. i like tp best with joke music covering up what he says. i think it works best. he really doesn’t ever have an idea as much as a feeling and music does a much better job of creating urgency in presentation than he ever could. truck diver dad, dead mom, first to go to college. he could be president just like obama, hes qualified.but aren’t you supposed to have done something to be president. 6 billion dollar legacy for the next group to deal with puts him in the same vein as w but i am not sure it will work the same this time. i think if tp lines his buddies pockets with corruption and good ol boys politics someone may notice. wait they don’t do they? i think the job creation may be in the question mark arena. don’t you???

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  6. if you are not outraged by the republican agenda you are not paying attention!!!!!
    bumper sticker and 2012 mantra of many dems and other reasonable thinking people

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  7. I have been enjoying the loud company of a Baltimore Oriole this spring. Maybe a fund could be started to hire Orioles to drown out some of the products the OBE.

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  8. Good morning bleeding heart liberal Baboons.

    I can’t believe I started off the day watching a T-Paw Campaign ad! Thanks, Dale, I really needed that. I’d better pop another blood pressure suppressant before my outrage gets the better of me. Like Jacque, I’d be inclined to crawl under the bed if it weren’t for the resident dust bunnies.

    At this stage of my life I really don’t want to participate in the OBE, but what’s the alternative? So I see lawn signs, demonstrations, petitions, letters to the editor and government officials, Facebook postings, donations, whatever it takes, in my future.
    Fairness and human rights are high on my list of priorities and I see no reason to walk away from this fight. I know I’ll be in good company.

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  9. Morning–
    Well, I didn’t watch the ad. I didn’t see the need to upset myself this early in the morning.
    But my role in some of this OBE will be the usual: Sound and lights. You’d like me to turn the mic off once in a while wouldn’t you??? (tims right. ? over !)

    So let me swerve off topic here with this link to a song I learned from one of the dance shows I worked this weekend. Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren sing ‘Goodness Gracious Me':

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    1. One of my husband’s favorites, it drives me to distraction! Since I already watched the campaign ad, I’ll leave the mic off on this one.

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  10. Perhaps I will take it upon myself to travel for the next 18 months or so with a red pen. A red pen that corrects both written and spoken word components of the OBE. When approached with the eye of a technical writer, much of the O in the OBE could be reduced; a good technical writer, after all, is only trying to get the essential information across without excessive conjecture. Punctuation is similarly reviewed for inappropriate or excessive use. Perhaps we could slowly, quietly replace the OBE with the TWBE (technical writers’ based economy); better grammar and correct spelling and word usage would certainly be a welcome sight.

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  11. I haven’t had time to relish the T-Paw comedy campaign because it has been running a weak second place to the Newt Gingrich Hilarity Show. See . . . I’m already losing my composure, laughing uncontrollably, because how could anyone throw themselves into a campaign where you have to hoot “Newt, Newt, Newt! Some of us actually know what a newt looks like, and it isn’t one of the more commanding critters in the animal kingdom. And last week the FOX rabble made a big deal of how wise and thoughtful this Newt is. Then Newt himself displayed some of his tendency to megalomania by declaring that “Social engineering from the right is no better than social engineering from the left.”

    That turned out to be a wee bit less wise than Newt thought when he said it, so one day later he made the stunning claim that, “Anyone who accurately quotes that press conference of mine is a liar.” So you have to wonder if Newt has hired Jon Stewart to write his speeches.

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      1. our patience is spenty
        i cant pay the renty
        the straight line got benty
        days past i lamenty
        he knows what i meanty
        to the poor house he senty
        education lacked plenty
        he aint no clark kenty
        no love letters got senty

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  12. Being in the mental health racket, I will be extraordinarily busy helping the disappointed, the outraged, and the impoverished cope. In an outraged-based economy, somebody will always be distressed and need assistence, whether they are from the left or the right. My work never ends (sigh).

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    1. job securtity. i have had discussions with my daughter who considered wanting to go into your field. i asked if she was really ready to listen to depressing stories that have no solution as a lifes calling. she is going into a different field. god bless you renee. you are a better human being than me. your colleagues and beneficiaries know this, and so do you.

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      1. Thank you Tim, but we can be as petty, self-serving, and unpleasant as the next person, believe me. The joy of seeing clients succeedd is sweeet, though, and makes up for myriad disappointments.

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  13. I am afraid the pharmaceutical industry will once again be raking it in, as nerves get more and more frayed and blood pressure gets pushed beyond healthy limits. Seems they are never on the losing end.

    I fear my weapon of choice has always been reasoning and logic, but walls of ignorance, bigotry and self-righteousness have rendered those weapons obsolete. I do know of one vote I can perhaps sway-I shall give that one my all.

    I always thought of Minnesota as the land of Humphrey, Mondale, Perpich and Wellstone. Since I’ve moved here, it has become the land of Ventura, Pawlenty and Bachmann-perhaps I should do you all a favor and move to Canada?

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  14. Slightly OT I was stunned to hear last night on KARE TV (in what was mostly a good broadcast, including a segment dissing the gay marriage amendment) that “It would be impossible to understate the damage done to the North Side last night.” :)

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  15. So far it just makes me want to bury my head in the sand. Or run screaming to, yes, Canada or Honduras, or get that houseboat and live in the 9th district. But that would still be in Minnesota, wouldn’t it. (? !)

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  16. A quick observation in OT response to the first part of Dale’s post today, where he said: “A lot of the news isn’t news anymore, it’s opinion.” This weekend I was re-reminded that a lot of the little pieces of paper in fortune cookies aren’t fortunes or predictions anymore, they’re aphorisms, platitudes, statements, or ads. What ever happened to a good old “You will recieve exciting news within 3 days.” ? To which we would always add the 2 words “in bed” at the end of the fortune and end the meal with a chuckle. I guess a lot of stuff isn’t what it used to be anymore.

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    1. The text of constitutional questions can be similarly improved…

      Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in bed in Minnesota?

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      1. or, shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that “only a union of one man and one woman in bed” shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?

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      2. I’m good with it, as long as you include the critical phrase, “at a time”, otherwise Newt and St Ron (to name a few) are not the paragons we are supposed to think they are.

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      3. Margaret good thoughts but would strict constructionists be forced to conclude that folks are only married while in bed? As a single, non-lawyer I don’t feel qualified to opine here!

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  17. A couple of talking points:
    1) this is government interference in the lives of individuals of the highest order

    2) the ban on gay marriage is ALREADY law in Minnesota-this is a waste of the taxpayers money(to put it on the ballot) and the legislature’s time (meanwhile, where are the jobs? where is a balanced budget? other than the one proposed by Governor Dayton)

    this flies in the face of everything the Tea Party supposedly stands for (less government interference and waste)

    I like to procrastinate on getting big, unpleasant tasks done too, but in the end, they still have to be dealt with.

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    1. Steve (in the living room here) says this is a “hotbutton” issue that was purposely intended to bring out the conservative voters in 2012 – this strategizing and using our lives and tax dollars to plan re-elections or tilt elections just makes me sick. fei da, agin!
      someone on “Wait, Wait” said yesterday – to call these politicians Pigs is an insult to pigs everywhere.

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    1. I’m sure he’ll say the same thing he said before… “God is perfect, but man is fallable… we just got the math wrong.”

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  18. I’m sure I will give money, forward thoughtful treatises, and attend rallies when I am able. And if, as mig said above: I do know of one vote I can perhaps sway-I shall give that one my all. One of the things I’ve found that I have to do in that situation is listen carefully to the opposing side. I need to get inside their thinking, figure out what their fears are, kind of like internal spying, “try on” that fear and then see what I can sayor do to alleviate that fear.

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  19. My reflexive response to political noise is to just roll my eyes at it. For the next 18 months or so I’ll probably resemble Cookie Monster, minus the blue fur, but with eyes rolling madly.

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  20. Greetings! So the legislature is working hard to balance the budget, but all we get is a proposal to ban gay marriage on the ballot? When did the great state of Minnesota get hijacked by the small-minded, hot air puffing Tea Baggers? Steve in Blackhoof is right — these people rely on hot-button, emotional wedge issues to pump up the outrage and put personal issues on political platforms that have no business even being there in the first place. Ecuador is looking better every day …

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