A lot of the news isn’t news anymore, it’s opinion. Why? Because it’s much easier to generate an opinion than it is to track down and confirm a fact. Many “news organizations” rely heavily on pundits because it’s a low cost way to chew up time.
Here at Trail Baboon, we’re no different. Our staff reporter, Bud Buck, didn’t want to lose his weekend to all the turmoil at the capitol, and we didn’t want to pay his per diem! The solution? He spent Saturday and Sunday relaxing at home and checked the headlines every now and then. Late last night he was able to knock out this wordy document based on a few clips he caught on TV and some other stuff he saw online.
It’s not exactly the news, but it sounds important and knowledgeable, and it only took ten minutes for him to do it. Win-win! Cheap content is good enough if it makes you look. Even we can afford that!
This is Bud Buck with the Bud’s NewsBucket of News!
I have progress to report at the Capitol. That’s right, I said progress!
Though they were unable to reach a budget agreement with the Democrat in the Governor’s office, the Republican dominated legislature of Minnesota has at least followed through with a radical job creation bill – the Bogeyman Promoting, Alarm Heightening, Outrage Generating and Placard Producing Bill of 2011, otherwise known as the Constitutional Amendment on Marriage.
This is an aggressive effort to pump hundreds of millions of local and outside dollars into businesses that provide every possible avenue for influencing public opinion, be it advertising, analyzing, punditizing, provoking, generalizing, demonizing, radicalizing and traumatizing. Over the next 14 months, anyone with an incendiary idea to sell on either side of the gay marriage debate will have Minnesota buyers eager to invest! Thousands of gallons of bile will be produced! There will be lots of jobs for exaggerators! And it’s good news for quote manufacturers too! Politicians throw exclamation points around casually, but did you know that before professional reflex provokers can cast a single aspersion, a punctuation worker somewhere has to dig an exclamation point out of the soil with his bare hands? It’s good, honest work, and it’s growing because lots of exclamation points will be needed in the coming months! Really!
And the timing couldn’t be better, since these same hyperbolic industries frame much of the conversation around presidential campaigns. They were expecting to have a big, big year in 2012. But now that Barack Obama is getting credit for taking down Osama Bin Laden, the political calculus is leading potential Republican challengers to forego a run. One notable exception – the Pawlenty campaign officially launches today!
And yes, it’s a job creator! This campaign will be a shot in the arm for the Overly Dramatic Music Industry. Pawlenty videos lay it on thick, the same way I smother a salad in bleu cheese dressing – because I hate the leafy vegetables underneath! There’s so much volume on the voices and the strings that by the end of his pitch, I can hardly hear what he’s saying. Probably just as well, but I think it’s something about telling us “the truth”.
The last time a Minnesotan ran for president and promised to tell us the truth, it was Walter Mondale in 1984 and he was admitting he would regretfully have to raise taxes. I have a feeling that won’t be the message this time!
But I sure hope there are no gay people involved in any of these necessary word and image-based political industries. It would be a shame if they got the idea that Minnesota was inhospitable and left the state for greener pastures. After all, Iowa is right next door.
This is Bud Buck!
Bud is meandering all over the place, but he might have a point in there someplace. It could turn out that the struggle for hearts and minds will spark an economic resurgence in Minnesota. Unlimited spending starts now and goes through November, 2012!
What role will you play in the Outrage Based Economy?