Uncategorized

Trashcan Mystery

77 Comments

While walking through a local park yesterday I noticed a plastic tub overflowing with colorful artifacts sitting beside a municipal trashcan. A couple of boxes sat beside it. My first thought was someone decided to ditch their refuse here to save the cost of having it picked up at home.

I’m actively looking for work and sorting through dumpsters has emerged as one of my leading career options, so I casually walked over and discovered the following items:

– A school backpack
– A book bag full of books
– A pouch overflowing with paper scraps
– Folders full of fifth grade assignments
– A pair of yellow plastic airplanes about two feet long
– Two rather large toy pirate ships

All the discarded stuff seemed to belong to the same child, or at least the same name appeared on many of the items and on several sheets of return address labels – the kind that come at Christmastime, unsolicited, from organizations seeking a donation. One notebook had emphatic, but smiley “keep out” warnings scrawled across the front.

Normally a “keep out” sign on a child’s notebook is something to be taken seriously, but it was in the garbage so I thought I could get away with a peek. I saw nothing too remarkable inside – mostly scraps of paper stuffed in the vinyl pouches. The real juicy stuff may have been taken out before disposal, but I didn’t spend too much time with it. Believe it or not, there is a limit to how long a you can comfortably sort through trash alongside a public walking path without feeling conspicuous. I did call the local police to report abandoned property in the park. My thought was that maybe the stuff had been stolen and rifled through for valuables before being dumped, and its owner might be hoping to get some things back.

But why would any thief make off with a child’s possessions? What’s the point of taking two plastic pirate ships? And why were there two ships and two planes? Wouldn’t one be enough to own or to steal? Who benefits from theft of the private “do not look” papers of a fifth grader? Unless the burglar is also a child!

Or perhaps the child, now grown, was cleaning the attic and wanted to be rid of some unhappy fifth grade memories. Getting these mementos out and away from the house as soon as possible may have been the goal.

Maybe a brother or sister was playing an unfortunate prank.

Or an estranged and/or grieving parent may have wanted to put some distance between him or herself and these cheerful, colorful, quirky reminders of happier times.

Or …?

What combination of circumstances could have led to the dumping of these items?

77 thoughts on “Trashcan Mystery”

  1. This is fascinating, Dale, although I think you might need to take a leisurely shave with Occam’s Razor!

    Since my comments might discourage inventive ramblings, I’ll lurk here for a while to let creativity bloom. And when I come back, I promise to leave behind me a new true-life mystery for Baboons to solve.

    Good morning to all you gorgeous and thoughtful Baboons! You have almost made it through another week of your life and another public radio pledge!

    Like

    Reply

  2. The two planes and two pirate ships would indicate 2 siblings of close age and same gender, most likely brothers. The dumping of same far from home seems to show a desire to conceal the discard on the homefront.

    That’s all I’ve got first thing in the morning, Watson.

    Like

    Reply

  3. Rise and Shine Babooners:

    My detritus theories focus on two scenarios:

    A homeless person with a shopping cart found something more desirable than these items and needed the space in the cart for them. These items were forced into the trash can;

    or

    Someone had a garage sale, but at the end was too lazy to dispose of the items and dumped it in the public disposal system.

    Like

    Reply

  4. the “don’t touch” note book looks like a young girl’s, to me. think we all start making those little circles on our punctuation about age 10 or so?
    this is scary on a whole bunch of levels, Dale. glad you called the police.
    but then Jacque may be right also…. didn’t fit in the grocery cart anymore.
    good morning, All and a happy day to ya’
    i’m making cajeta – Donna? have you tried to make it yet??

    Like

    Reply

      2. No, but I have seen mine. Talk about ugly! I can’t read my own grocery lists! Hmm, I’m just thinking that barb in Blackhoof sounds like a pirate name. Does your past include a swearing parrot and an eye patch?

        Like

        Reply

      3. We pirate lasses don’t much hold with such sexist gum-flappin’, matey!

        Mind how ye go, or ye might just find yur gizzard slit with aforementioned Razor!

        Like

        Reply

  5. Greetings! I’m going for a more dramatic portrayal of this scenario — I’d say it was because of a fight between siblings who have to share a bedroom (this makes sense to me coming from a large family!). When you’re 8 or 9 having to share a bedroom, you draw an imaginary line down the center of room to claim your territory. Naturally, one sibling doesn’t respect this time-honored code of cohabiting, so leaves his or her stuff strewn about, much to the dismay and irritation to the other. Well, it seems the one had reached their level of intolerance and took drastic steps to bring order and make a point. Therefore, the messy sibling lost his/her schoolwork and artwork to an anonymous garbage can. End of story. The 2 airplanes and 2 pirate ships might mean this sibling has a generous (albeit messy) spirit and wanted to share his stuff with other sibling — but alas, was mistaken.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Or tidy sibling recognized that once messy sibling’s pirate ship had disappeared, MS would simply appropriate TS’s vessel without a second thought. Therefore ALL pirate ships must go overboard!

      Like

      Reply

      1. Absolutely; TS would have to dispose of his own stuff simply to appear the victim as well….
        I suspect mischief on the part of a sibling…

        Dumpster diving should be a more respected occupation.

        Like

        Reply

  6. Good morning examiners of the trashy mystery,

    I think there are all kinds of possible reasons for this mysterious trash deposite. What we could be looking at is a joke or even some kind of reality TV trick. Perhaps there was some kind of trick message in the “don’t look” folder that was gone by the time Dale examined it. The message might have been designed to lead the person who found it on a wild goose chase. This would be recorded by hidden cameras and shown on a reality TV show. Another possibility is that the person who set up this situation was hiding near by and waiting to see what the person would do who found the fake note. This prank could have been set up by some person who just likes to do this sort of thing. Or perhaps it was done my some one, certainly not Dale, who needs material for their blog and will write about how people react to the trash or ask people to comment on it.

    Like

    Reply

      1. I guess Candid Camera was an early version of reality TV. I liked Candid Camera. I don’t usually watch reality TV shows which don’t look very good to me in the ads that I see for them.

        Like

        Reply

  7. there was a wonderful article on mpr about dumpster diving for food and how the guy who started it did it just to prove he could get by without buying food ever… he said it was hard to get used to eating the same thing for 6 or 7 days but if you take it you use it was his deal. he felt like he was taking form others otherwise. he said when he started this 3 years ago he had the dumpsters all to himself and created a regular route. today he has many competitors for what he assumed he had sole interest in in a previous time: looked it up here it is:
    http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/blogs/dive-the-movie-dumpster-diving-against-waste

    Like

    Reply

  8. a little off the deep end but i found it real interesting what do you think dale? wanna start the tbdd group and show the world what is in dumpsters around here?

    Like

    Reply

  9. at my house this is the story of a child being sick and tired of being harped on by mom to clean the clutter. too much stuff….. get rid of some of it. you haven’t played with the ships or planes in two years and you step over them everyday get rid of this crap!!! the kid says ok and here you go mom be gone…the mom leads it up and the conversation is done. you con’t go to goodwill with two pirate ship and two airplanes and a folder that says keep out, you ash can it but not in your ash can then there would be no room for the weekly stuff. so while we are going out to enjoy the beautiful fall day, a drop in the park (near the parking lot dale?) and then on to enjoy the sights.
    next mom will want to check ubnder the beds and see what is hiding under there. once you give in you can pretty much kiss your hanging on to things for affections sake good bye. the kids school papers and drawings that i have salvaged from my dumpster make me sad but my guess is that where ever i put them after i found them my wife was 12 hours behind me and redumped them without a grain of remorse.

    Like

    Reply

  10. I’m going w/ the simplest. Mom/Dad out and about doing errands, maybe on the way to the airport to pick up grandparent. Sick to death of how much detritus has accumulated in the backseat/trunk. Can’t stand it one more minute…. out it goes into the closest trash receptacle. I know, I know, annoyingly pragmatic, but I’ve been that parent!

    Like

    Reply

    1. You would secretly throw out a kid’s beloved pirate ship Sherrilee? Horrors! What kind of Baboon are you? Sheesh! That’s as bad as when my mother threw out my possum rug, the only successful taxidermy project I could claim. I still grieve.

      Like

      Reply

      1. If it’s so beloved, then why has it been sitting around in the car for three months, getting battered and broken while the stuffed tiger that smells is still getting hugged and smothered with love and kept in the bedroom!?

        (Sorry about the possum rug, however!)

        Like

        Reply

      3. Yes, parents should be careful about what they throw out. My old 45 rpm records, that included some records by people like Buddy Holly, were thrown when I went away to college.

        Like

        Reply

      5. i had the 2x2x2 box of baseball cards of my youth disappear. mom denied it but has recently fessed up. she never threw anything away but had to make a one time exception for my 10,000 baseball cards. funny if it weren’t so sad.

        Like

        Reply

  11. Nobody has suggested the obvious explanation. This is a spy kit that allows the FSB (successor to the KGB) to run an American spy. The pirate ship sits in the window of a craft shop and when it flies a certain flag, the Russian handlers know they are to go to a certain place where there will be a child’s school tablet with top secret information in it. The books are used to set up the codes. When the tablet has a sentence scrawled in it like, “Jasey Johnson’s butt is as big as China!” the Russians know that the secret Senate panel funding spy operations is increasing its investment in secret operations.

    So why is this stuff in a trash can? The American spy, a highly placed Naval Intelligence Officer, had a crush on Anna Chapman. He was told he’d get a date with her for betraying his country, but she got caught and shipped back to Russia. The stuff in the trash can is the heartbroken officer’s way of saying “I quit!”

    There are more elaborate scenarios, but this is the obvious one. ; )

    Like

    Reply

    1. You have no idea how hard it is to explain a day like today when your co-worker, walking by your cube, catches you laughing outloud!

      Like

      Reply

    3. There we go! This trash deposite must be part of a spy plot. Maybe not exactly like the one Steve came up with, but probably very much like his scenario.

      Like

      Reply

    4. I think we need to examine these facts closely, as it is entirely possible that Dale is a spy and there is more to his innocent walk in the park than meets the eye.

      Like

      Reply

    5. See and here I thought it was aliens from Betelgeuse getting rid of their cover story detritus before hitching back home on a passing ship after being stuck on our planet for 7 years, perpetually stuck in the 5th grade (their cover story). My bad.

      Like

      Reply

      2. Oh! I think you are right, Anna. This is not part of a spy plot. I think it is aliens that left that trash. Spies could has done it, but I think aliens should be the first choice.

        Like

        Reply

  12. I think that some siblings went to the park with the intention of having a fort, and brought along some prized possessions to play with. It took several trips to bring everything. They had a blast playing and they lost track of the time. After they realized they were late getting home, they grabbed everything they could carry in one load, but had to leave the container with the pirate ships. They are now worried sick about what they had to leave, but since they were late getting home they are grounded from the park and can’t go back until their grounding is over.

    Like

    Reply

    2. I also think that some of the things they took to the park belonged to their older sister, as they were eager to read what she had in that Do Not Read notebook. Now they are in real trouble with not only their mom but with their sister, and sister is currently grinding their faces into the side walk in front of the house but neither will rat on the other to tell where that notebook went and both are denying all knowledge of it while at the same time alluding to some of the secrets they read, doubly infuriating her.

      Like

      Reply

  14. I said I’d offer another true life mystery for you baboons. A fishing friend and one of his pals were slowly working their way around a small lake near Duluth. It was early morning. Mist curling off the water. As they approached an anchored swim dock, they saw a man in a swimsuit walk out of his cabin and stride down the walk to the end of his dock. He dove off into the lake, swam several yards out to the swim dock, and then he swept the baseball cap off his head, leaving it sitting on the swim dock. He swam back to shore and disappeared into his cabin.

    My friends were puzzled.

    Just then a naked woman walked out of the next-door cabin and went quickly to her dock. I won’t say what my friends said about her, but the general point is that it was overwhelmingly apparent that this was a female person. She dove off her dock and swam to the swim dock. Clambering up on it, she retrieved the baseball cap. She slapped it on her head, dove in and swam back to land.

    That’s it. Can you fine baboons make sense of this?

    My former wife didn’t mind dropping hints that her IQ was somewhere north of 180. As soon as she heard this story she explained it with one sentence. Can you?

    Like

    Reply

    2. I only have a very average IQ, so here’s my best shot: The offer and acceptance of hat is indicative of a soon-to-be-consummated clandestine tryst between the man and woman.

      Like

      Reply

      1. and once she had the cap on, she wasn’t really completely naked, was she? He was just a neighbor trying to help out, but didn’t want to embarass her by handing the hat to her directly.

        Like

        Reply

    4. Aha – I have a simpler answer. She lost a bet. That’s got to be it. Am I right or am I right?! Right?! Right?!

      Like

      Reply

  15. You were a little slower than She-Who-Was-Always-Right, but that’s still pretty good. I figure the two of you for an IQ in the 100s, maybe.

    That’s the logical answer. They bet. She lost. This was the payoff. The neighbor waited until he had a fishing boat with a couple of guys out there to make sure it was a fun swim.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Dang, you mean it’s not that she was coveting his hat, and went to nab it when opportunity presented itself, even if she was just getting out of the shower?…

      Like

      Reply

  16. Dale, do you ever wonder what you’ve done? You just got a whole bunch of us to spend the whole day thinking and talking about the contents of a trash can. Aliens, detritus, spies… I’m surprised we didn’t find a way to get the goats involved!

    Like

    Reply

    2. The goats were the pets that came with the aliens from Betelgeuse, cleverly disguised as goats and so as not to reveal their true identities as Vermicious Knids. Only they liked it here and decided to stay. They are now living with Barb in Blackhoof.

      Like

      Reply

  17. OK, here comes the answer to Dale’s enigma that I fear is true. I really don’t want to suggest this. I fear there is a one-word answer to why this stuff is in this trash basket:

    Bullying.

    This pile of stuff is consistent with what kids have in school lockers. It doesn’t have great financial value, but would be quite important to the owner. The objects here are not the kind of thing a kid would throw out on his own, for some of these objects might have sentimental value and others would be important for daily school life and fulfilling homework assignments. So the owner didn’t chuck this stuff. Why would someone else take it and drop it in the trash? To mess with the owner, to hurt him or her, possibly to get even for some perceived injury or possibly to intimidate.

    Like

    Reply

  18. Ok, Steve, since you brought it up:
    I came in about 10 this morning and was going to comment along Steve’s line, but you were all having so much fun, I did not want to put a downer on it. My nomination is an abusive parent. My wife’s abusive father would throw out things that had no value except to her because she was “dirty” and he did not want her things to “infect the rest of the family” (but he did not want to pay for anything of value and use).
    I could tell a long and ugly but eye-opening story about a student of mine who came to me about her abusive mother and so I must be careful here. But her mother, like my f-i-l, said she was dirty and would infect the other four children. The student came home from school the day before she told me this and found much of her underwear in the mud in their driveway. It gets more involved but I will only tell that. My wife as the librarian also got involved, I will no tell why, and she explained, as an abused child and in the know why the underwear: because as a senior in HS, who does not have gym class, no one would see the underwear. This mother, by the way, was in public almost the model parent.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Clyde As awful as my guess is, yours is worse. A kid has more chance of eluding bullies than an abusive parent. What our two guesses have in common is that there was intention to inflict pain. I hope to god we’re both wrong.

      Like

      Reply

      1. I honestly hope you’re both wrong, too – but I fear one of you may be right. And that makes me very sad. Both because of what may have happened, and because there may be a hurt, scared kid out there.

        Like

        Reply

      2. I been hoping all day I’m wrong. One of the eeriest moments in my life was when my wife and I were discussing my student X above. I was reading all sorts of Freudian symbolism into the underwear in the mud (and student x had told me the mother called her dirty or a similar word), but my wife perfectly understood the mind of abusive parents from her childhood–always keep it secret. And to show that the child keeps it secret, too: student x’s best friend, who was on occasion in student X’s house and they had been close for years, had no idea this was going on (and promise me, the treatment of student X got worse than this). This is getting dark enough. Night all.

        Like

        Reply

  19. Steve & Clyde – I have a sinking feeling that you guys are more likely correct on this one. Is there a chance that after Dale called the police, they investigated and returned the items to rightful owner somehow? When Dale first posed the question, I did not want to think that type of scenario would be true, but is likely so. {sigh} ‘Tis sad …

    Like

    Reply

  20. I’m going to put a positive, hopeful spin on this, since we could all get really depressed if we leave it at this. If this is a case of child abuse or neglect, let’s say that Dale’s call to the police results into an investigation that eventually places the child or children in the home of a loving grandparent or aunt/uncle. If this is a case of bullying, let’s say that Dale’s call to the police results in the exposure of a bullying situation that is stopped and the culprits referred to the juvenile justice system. I see hopeful things happen all the time in the county in which I live when Child Protection gets involved. Our population is small enough so that things get noticed here. I know that is not the case in most places, but we have to remain hopeful. Children do what they have to do to get what they need, and this includes bullies.

    Like

    Reply

  21. i think it is great that in this time of budget cuts and underfunding that a call to the police to come and checkk out pirate ships and airplanes in the trash at the park gets a respnse. maybe they need a break fr the breakins and crack houses that they are surrounded by. they may be in for more thn they bargained for if the theories here are true. they may be wishing for russian spies on crack by the end of this mystery.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment