Oh my, what to say about the predicted end of the world?
There is an apocalyptic mindset that is satisfying in a weird way. Things become simple when you know for sure nothing will matter after today.
It is easy to mock people who make such claims on religious grounds, but even science confirms that the world will, in fact, end someday. Just like comedy, the essence of the thing is in the timing. Is this the day? Tomorrow? All we know for certain is that it wasn’t yesterday.
It could turn out that the promoters of armageddon TODAY will get lucky and their (and everyone’s) number will come up. It will appear to the rest of us that they had it right all along, but their “I told you so” time will last for about 20 seconds, I guess. Is there any pleasure in that?
In some cases, even relatives of the doomsayers are laying on the ridicule. The New York Times profiles a family where the parents have bought into the apocalyptic scenario and their children are left shaking their heads. The kids come off as being remarkably well adjusted to the bizarre dynamic inside their own family.
Tomorrow will likely be a difficult day for those who predicted their own heavenward ascension in the “rapture”. Some folks even stopped paying the rent and quit saving for the kids’ college fund. Oops. Super embarrassing moment if we’re all still here on Monday! The lesson I’m taking from this – at a time when it seams like zealots have their heels dug in at the capitol and political positions are unmovable, it is still possible to get a human being to believe something so amazing and irrational, it changes their behavior.
A story is a powerful lever.
But why would anyone choose to accept this prophesy? Skeeter Davis said it best – sometimes we’re so mixed up emotionally, it FEELS like the world is ending, or that it SHOULD end.
I wonder of today’s frenzy has helped boost Skeeter’s You Tube views? She’s well over one million, and no doubt there will be many more today as people all around the globe search for the first video evidence of The End Of The World and wind up listening to this song.
The good news for those who were alive in 1963 – we managed to survive Skeeter’s hairdo. That gives me hope that we can withstand anything!
The world ends in ten minutes. What do you do?
Trail Baboon 
Morning all. 6:07 a.m. here and all is well. Teenager is even up and about (she wants to go to the flip flop sale at Old Navy at 7 a.m.) If I truly believed I only had 10 minutes? Glass of wine and sit on the sofa w/ teenager, dogs and cat. Easy peasy. It’s when you have longer that you have to actually think about what to do.
AND, I have to say I’m sorry I missed yesterday on the trail. Just ready through the comments this morning and it was a HOOT! Took yesterday off and spent the day cleaning and doing yard work – every time the rain let up, I rushed outside to get a little more done.
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I think you have got it right, Verily.
We’d go next door to the adopted Grandma’s for a nice long group hug.
Just went to make sure it is well past 6pm in Sydney and got this message on the time zone map
Sun map is working just fine, so I guess I best get going on my project so I can finish in time for some quality reading time tomorrow!
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Hmm, I really must just let the italics go, I guess.
Here is what the time zone map had to say:
Because of “Doomsday prediction” for May 21st some Homepage “time” functionality has been temporarily disabled.
Sorry For The Inconvenience.
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MiG… I have a book for you. A few months back, Jim of CG talked about a book by a friend of his (Through the Eyes of a Stranger) which wasn’t in the libraries. I called first dibs and you got second dibs. I finished it a couple of weeks ago… so we need to arrange a hand-off!
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Off to flip flops and Memorial Blood Center… everybody have a great morning!
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Good morning everyone. Dreary and rainy day, but neither that nor the prospect of our pending demise will stop me from my Saturday morning visit to the downtown St. Paul Farmers’ Market. I’ll pick up some of my favorite roasted onion and gorgonzola bread, a package of smoked trout, some fresh radishes, a bunch of arugula, some exotic mushrooms and a bouquet of flowers, and whatever else might strike my fancy. When I get home, I’ll brew a nice pot of tea and snuggle up in my favorite chair with the newspaper and Pablo, my wire-haired dachshund. If we’re still around after that, I’ll fix a scrumptious brunch for husband and myself, take Pablo and Mitzi (Welch Corgi) for a walk, and settle in for TPT’s morning cooking shows. Life is good and like most politicians, I haven’t answered the question.
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Mmmm, love that rainbow trout.
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I scored a big bag of fresh watercress, but radishes were already sold out.
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Radish and butter sandwhich and a cheese and cucumber sandwich w butter are two of lifes simple pleasures
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The end of the world is progressing very slowly, if at all, here in Mac Groveland. If I’m still here in three hours I’ll call my daughter in Portland. She might be buying a new car today. Other than that, it is a morning of coffee, my novel and public radio. I’m betting Peter Sagal will have some fun with the end of the world on “Wait, Wait!”
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thanks for the Wait, Wait alert!
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
Well, I’m with Sherilee — I’ll drink a whole bunch of wine. I love wine, but it can inflame my allergies and give me headaches on a normal day so I must be moderate most times. But with 10 minutes to go…. Chocolate, too. I’ll dip into the stash and munch away!
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put on clean underwear
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Why? There’ll be no one left to appreciate it.
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first things first
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It kind of depends on how you find out there are only 10 minutes left. If a big voice comes booming down from the sky, “You’ve got 10 minutes!” (in hundreds of different languages), I’d see if I can find Husband, who is often in the nether reaches of the house or yard on a Saturday), and cuddle up on the couch listening to Radio Heartland, probably with that glass of wine mentioned above, and have one last game of cribbage. If mid-day, maybe we’d be able to catch Car Talk or Wait, Wait. Probably bring the phone in case someone calls to say Goodbye.
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If God told me I had ten minutes left and the phone rang, it would almost surely be the Pioneer Press trying to sell me a newspaper subscription! Or some home repair outfit that planned to be in my neighborhood.
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the world ends on bob dylans 70th birthday. how appropriate. i never thought id see the day when id say bob is doing prety good for being 70.70 is not so old… geez.
i see the girl on the front of the freewheeling album died a month or two ago.i would gather my family around and call the ones that aren’t around id throw on a dylan album or yo yo playing the bach cello concertos and grab a fistful of kids hug until its over.
i was on a plane once that was in a death spiral for 3 minutes as i got to contemplate death and if you gotta you gotta. try the alternative.
i think mpr has dylan tributes today after garrison and also on 89.3. it still bugs me to promote mpr but there is this dylan thing i have. i should check xm too. good wine, or whiskey, a cigar if i was alone, my kids don’t like it and i wouldnt want to send them out with a bad vibe, look at the horizion, grab my dog, take a minute to think about what i have to be thankful for and breate deep. cigarettes have no appeal, i must have them partially licked. if we have 10 minutes i could have sex and still have 8 or 9 minutes left. write one last poem and away we go
the world is over its been a trip
the stuff i’ve seen and done
i wouldnt have traded it for anything
and for the most part its been fun
the best stuff is the stuff you feel
deep down and can’t express
as fully as you would think you should
ive gotten the most from less
its the simple things like kids and wine
and sunshine that call out
and i cant remember a day at the office
that i care much about
its friends and family sun and stars
the glass of wine and thou
lifes pretty simple isn’t it dawg
get out and bow wow wow
thanks to the doomsdayers for this little reminder
of all that i hold dear
come over and have a sip of my wine
and lend me your smile and your ear
friends and sunrises and music and dreams
are the things that keep me alive
if i started with 10 minutes id better stop
cause i gotta be getting towards 5
when its all over i’ll see you again
if the scriptures are worth half their salt
and if they were wrong the premise was good
and the phrophets should not be at fault
treat each other as you would like that is the rule
and its a pretty good guide dont you think
so red rover red rover send all ya all over
and i trust that you’ll be in the pink
the mere thought of ending these thoughts that im sending
has got me realizing i’m gona miss it
life has been good, as good as it could
and if it had lips i would kiss it
my blog friends, my dog friends my kids and my wife
my brother and sisters and mom
my dad left last year, beat us all out of here
bet i see him in old kingdom come.
if not today then tomorrow the pain and the sorrow
are tollerable when put in perspective
when i get upset i will remember this yet and i’ll
give myself this small directive
just go sit in a chair and see it all from there
all that matters is easily found
life is so easy we all know it down deep
just enjoy it while you are around
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Nice, tim. Like your poem. Piet Hein expresses the sentiment of the last few lines like this:
DO REMEMBER – to forget
anger, worry and regret:
Love while you’ve got love to give
Live while you’ve got life to live
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thats a little more to the point
good stuff margaret
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Love your poem, Tim. As always, you manage to capture all that needs to be said, all the important things to remember and the special emotions to bind it all together. Thanks!
In reference to your reply to my post last night: I’ve heard of Feldenkrais, but had forgotten about it. I’ll check it out …
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marie is a guru
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That’s nice, tim! I just finished a really fine book, Joan Baez’s memoir, “And a Voice to Sing With.” She writes surprisingly well. Of course, she discusses her early fling with “Bobby” when she thought she was helping a talented kid launch his career. For devastating humor and an unflattering sketch of the later Dylan, go to her chapter “Reynaldo and Who?” Meowww!
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thanks steve, i will check it out.
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Sounds like an interesting read.
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Wonderful tim. Thank you.
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Thanks tim! Well done. This has been re-posted on Rhyme Wave.
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Why, I’d make sure I had everything packed I needed for hanging out in the new Raptureland theme park (the one they’re building down in Kentucky or Tennessee someplace) of course!! Usually have the Playmate cooler on standby and some good lunch fixin’s in the ‘fridge ready to go, Boy Scout compass, some fishing gear, and maybe my backpacking guitar. Think I’m ready now…
And if anyone’s interested in knowing why things didn’t quite go as planned with the end, just check out this cute comic sequence a friend of mine pointed me to…
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/rapture
Thanks Dale for always being there for us in a time of need :-))
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Funny!
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Great cartoon — Thanks, Sparky! Good to have you here with us.
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I love the Oatmeal. And this comic was especially funny.
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Thanks Sparky.
That’s how you know God is an Old Guy – he squints and cusses at the computer!
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I’m with the other baboons in staying close to loved ones and listening to good music. Good wine would be a must. I am curious to hear the explanations from all our disappointed brethren when the end doesn’t come today. I prefer to think that somebody misheard and what we really will see today are the raptors, not the rapture. I’m going to keep watch for large, beautiful birds. I think that is far more likely than the end of the world. My cats must think that they are in paradise, since I was careless and left some black forest ham on the counter this morning and they managed to swipe a couple of pieces when my back was turned. I’m going to start a batch of French bread. Have a great Saturday, baboons!
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why would you bake bread with the end of the world a certain event? eat what ever is in the freezer
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I’m going to feed the raptors.
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RH is playing Slouching Towards Bethlehem…if that was chosen by Jasper, that’s a little spooky.
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Pray. If the world ends, I’ve been wrong about everything and I have a lot of catching up to do.
For today though, raptors or not, I’ll be playing music and drinking wine! 🙂
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Ooooh! You think the raptors is coming? That gets my attention!
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I’m a skeptic by nature. I would think, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” then I would probably ponder the paradox over a glass of something.
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This is quite thought provoking, Dale. If I was by myself with only 10 minutes, I think I’d get out the guitar if it’s rainy like this (and the aforementioned wine). If it wear a beautiful sunny day, I’d go do one last walk around my yard and gardens, say bye to everyone there and maybe go for a walk down in the park looking for, yes, raptors.
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Actually, I think the raptors have arrived, since our resident turkey vultures have returned to the butte near our home. I saw about 15 of them circling the neighborhood earlier this week. They do that on a regular basis, so I’m not alarmed by their antics. They really keep the area clean, by the way.
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I had turkey vultures living on the roof of my cabin one summer. I know I should approve of them for ecological reasons, but the symbolism had me jumpy. One day they decided I looked ugly and they boogied.
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In the air along the bluffs here, they are as graceful as any bird I have seen. Maybe we should call them Minnesota condors. Sounds so much better.
Still in short rapture over the swans I saw and then a day later the beaver. I think thew swans are nesting across the the lake, perhaps more than the three. I will have to see if they nest in colonies.
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Learning thennew neighborhood and the new bike trails eh? Sounds nice
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This is pretty much my old neighborhood, riding the same bike trails. Mankato just isn’t that large.
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…and it might be really enjoyable to tear my to do lists.
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Good morning to all:
I would just say to myself, this is bull and go on doing whatever I’m doing at the time. That is what I would do unless there is some way to know exactly when the end will come and I don’t have any evidence that there it is possible to know about this.
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I will readily admit that unless there was a loud announcement (like in “Hitchhiker’s Guide” when the Vogons come to make way for a new inter-galactic highway), I would fall into the trap of thinking that people have been predicting the end of the world for a couple thousand years, what makes today so special? And then would continue on with whatever I was doing. If I truly knew I only had 10 minutes, I’d gather loved ones and talk about things that make us happy. And eat all of the chocolate in the house.
Enjoying seeing all the new names and reading new voices this week (and also kinda wondering where Crow Girl has been).
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First off – Tim, I love your poem! It made me go Awww” and ROTFLOLAWM, both.
If I had just 10 minutes I’d go dump out this oatmeal I’m eating and trade it for ice cream. I’d call my kids and my parents and cuddle with my kitty. I’d thank all of you on the blog for making life sweeter. And like Clyde, I’d put on clean underwear because, GOD will NOTICE, Margaret!!
Sparky’s gem reminded me a little of this:
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This is hysterical. Love it. Flip flop sale was a big success — if the rains holds off for a bit, may drop some money at nursery as well!
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Very funny, thanks Donna. About God checking for clean underwear, not where I’m going. Depends I guess.
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I’m not sure Depends will help too much if you’re in the same handbasket I have a ticket for…and there may not be room for more than one case of ’em. 😉
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Oh Margaret, you walked right into that one. Tee hee, Anna.
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Margaret, you have now graduated to the next level of Baboonhood – having been teased.
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I was wondering if anyone would catch the pun. Glad you did.
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Love it, Donna!
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Nice, Donna. I did not know the whole Moses/Pharoah/Red Sea thing was accompanied by such jaunty music!
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Nice poem, tim; we need to get Dale to add it to Rhyme Wave since it is so baboonish.
Margaret, re clean underwear: you did not have the mother some of us had, I guess.
In my ten minutes, in my clean underwear, I would rush over to Culvers and see if, a la yesterday’s blog, they have up their
Raspberry
Chocolate Swirl
Tuna Melt
Which sounds to me like the end of the world but not Rapture.
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Raspberry Chocolate on Tuna?
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Raspberry
Chocolate Swirl
is their ice cream flavor of the day.
Tuna Melt is their sandwich of the day.
But they always post them like this, which leads to some fun reading on my bike ride.
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I was always intrigued by the cappuccino night crawlers on sale at a local convenience store.
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Just back from the N. Mankato Culvers which was touting
Nutty
Carmel Ap0ple
BBQ Pork
Sandwich
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Oh yes, I did Clyde. I’m still rebelling.
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Sr. year of college I waitressed at the Safari, a barangrill in Ames, IA that had Peggy Lee on the juke box. This was one of the most frequently played tunes:
Is That All There Is? Had forgotten about it till this morning’s question.
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/peggy-lee-is-that-all-there-is-1969/7bc4d94669ef44423f887bc4d94669ef44423f88-767794086927?q=Is+That+All+there+is+-+Peggy+Lee&FORM=VIRE1
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Peggy Lee is from North Dakota. She grew up near Valley City and absolutely hated it.
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If I really did know I only had 10 minutes left I would want to spend it with my family and I would hope they wouldn’t care if my wine glass was filled a large serving of brandy instead of wine.
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OT – WiseAcre Eatery (new restaurant in the Libery Custard garage) is set to open May 26. Maybe in a couple of weeks we should have a field trip!
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That sounds like fun — wasn’t there a new show at TMORA that someone had mentioned as well?
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Greetings! Another fun day on the blog — and the rain turned into sunshine. It may not be the Second Coming, but it was starting to look like the Second Flooding with all the rain.
Many years ago, Elizabeth Clare Prophet of Summit Lighthouse declared the approach of a cataclysmic event to end many things. She moved her entire community from sunny Southern California to a big ranch in Wyoming for survival purposes. I was a part of this cult in college for a while, but after looking at some things more closely, I bugged out; so I was well out of it by then, but still kind of kept an eye on them.
She predicted it would happen on April 23 — which is my Dad’s birthday, so I knew there was no way it could be true. Naturally, nothing happened. Meanwhile, a whole bunch of her followers were probably pissed off because they had quit jobs, sold houses, and sunk their savings into being a part of this rustic spiritual commune. And like Anna said, different groups have been predicting the end of the world for thousands of years — alas, to no avail. The world just keeps on turning,
Like other baboons have noted, we would spend the final ten minutes having quickie sex, surrounding ourselves with loved ones, getting drunk and gorging on chocolate and/or ice cream — and being grateful for having so much fun in so little time.
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Joanne – we went to a Summit Lighthouse gathering a few times in the late 70s, not far from Dinkytown. I do know someone who followed her out to CA for a short time, but figured things out and returned. Whew.
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I was at their Dinkytown house quite a bit going to their daily “chanting” and Sunday services. It’s a mix of quite sophisticated metaphysics and Eastern philosophy that taught me quite a bit, but it’s wrapped up in other weird stuff around Elizabeth Clare Prophet. I went to a gathering in CA once. It was fun with nice, sincere people who were looking for a better way and were turned off by mainstream Christianity and traditional religions — as was I.
I think they’re located in South Minneapolis now — a big mansion off the lake as I recall. I know serious members live there in a community-like atmosphere. A cool idea, but with a questionable group.
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It’s interesting to me how many spiritual movements start out great, and then often get derailed due to the egomania of their leader.
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Ran into a quote for today in a mediocre travel book called “Queen of the Road.” The author, Doreen Orion, describes a defunct very weird sect as “These are the people who put the od in God.”
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I think I know some of them.
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Perfect clyde
I know these peole from the prominent place they have taken in paradise valley running from Livingston mt to yellowstone Forbes sold it they bought it. A friend in the know clued me in, they appear ok until you start putting two and two together. Also that house on lake Harriet was an old girlfriends house sold to a Dayton or the equivalent , who drank the koolaid and gave them the house
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Evening…
I’ve been in the theater all day with two different dance shows so while they’re fun I hope it doesn’t happen while I’m stuck in here!
Ten minutes left? Hug the dog and kids and wife– (hm, isn’t it curious that’s the order I thought??) Head outside and admire the view and ponder. Ponder things. Ponder what might be coming next, eh?
I fully expect to catch you all Monday–
But if not, catch you on the other side.
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I get your hug hierarchy, Ben. The dog is not going to stay in the embrace very long, so it’s best to do that one first!
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Evening all. I guess it’s official that we’re still spinning.
In reading through all the comments today I saw lots of us saying if we had 10 minutes left, we would hug or connect w/ loved ones. I’m making it a priority to make sure I do this every day from now on…. at least a hug and an “I love you” … since you never know!
Thanks for inspiration, baboons!
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
Wow, both 6 am and 6 pm passed and I’m still here. Either I’m a terrible sinner, or Rapture did not happen. I have not heard of any mysterious disappearances, either. So the friends I invited to come for supper can count on a meal later today.
Rainy or snowy Saturdays on the Trail are awfully fun. Today is beautiful, so I’m gonna be outdoors.
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“Man proposes and God disposes.”
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