Having spent the weekend discussing places we’ve lived, let’s turn our attention now to places we may live some day in the distant future. Or, dear baboons, places where other restless creatures already live. Places they may be longing to leave.
Which brings us to Kepler 22b, the most recently discovered “Goldilocks” planet – a place orbiting a different star where the temperature is ‘not too cold’ and ‘not too hot’. Initial observations indicate conditions could be favorable for human-like life.
That is, if the planet has a surface.
Dang! When it comes to the nuts and bolts of existence, there’s always that complicated bit about needing a surface to sit on. Not to mention some of the other necessary valuables, like having to have water to drink, food to eat and air to breathe. Air is especially important.
In writing about the notion of a “Goldilocks” planet, Dennis Overbye of the NY Times identifies an event that had to happen before life as we know it on Earth could get its start – The Great Oxidation.
“The seeds for animal life were sown sometime in the dim past when some bacterium learned to use sunlight to split water molecules and produce oxygen and sugar — photosynthesis, in short. The results began to kick in 2.4 billion years ago when the amount of oxygen in the atmosphere began to rise dramatically.
The Great Oxidation Event, as it is called in geology, “was clearly the biggest event in the history of the biosphere,” said Dr. Ward from Washington. It culminated in what is known as the Cambrian explosion, about 550 million years ago, when multicellular creatures, that is to say, animals, appeared in sudden splendiferous profusion in the fossil record. We were off to the Darwinian races. Whatever happened to cause this flowering of species helped elevate Earth someplace special, say the Rare Earthers. Paleontologists argue about whether it could have been a spell of bad climate known as Snowball Earth, the breakup of a previous supercontinent, or something else.
Eventually though, Earth’s luck will run out. As the Sun ages it will get brighter, astronomers say, increasing the weathering and washing away of carbon dioxide. At the same time, as the interior of the Earth cools, volcanic activity will gradually subside, cutting off the replenishing of the greenhouse gas.
A billion years from now, Dr. Brownlee said, there will not be enough carbon dioxide left to support photosynthesis, that is to say, the oxygen we breathe.
And so much for us.
“Even Earth, wonderful and special as it is, will only have animal life for one billion years,” Dr. Brownlee said.”
Which all seems rather wonderful and dismal at the same time. Clearly the clock is running and as many science fiction writers have already suggested, it is high time we start looking for another place to be before Earth becomes uninhabitable. Is Kepler 22b it? And in this time of ritual celebration, why is it that the major religions have traditional festivals that inspire and create a sense of wonder, while science offers us nothing except another episode of “MythBusters“?
Perhaps scientists should develop something celebretory that can spark the imagination of the unfaithful.
What would be one of the features of a festival built around “The Great Oxidation Event”? “Oxi-Claus?”
Trail Baboon 
Lots of balloons!
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The only thing that comes to my mind when you say oxidation is all the copper, brass and silverware in our house that needs polishing!
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so we can have a parade where shined up brass and copper are the feaured items. roll me down the street in my old brass bed wearing my tin foil hat
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Love that image, tim.
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Good morning to all. I think it is time for a science based national or international festival. Maybe it could grow out of the celebration of the winter solstice. The shortest day of the year could be a reminder that there was a dark time when there wasn’t enough oxygen followed by an increase in oxygen just as there is an increase in sunlight following the solstice.
We might as well have another big holiday at this time of year when the hoilday season already brings normal life to a stop. We just need to get people from science to unite with other people who want to celibrate the time of the great oxidation around a big blazing fire on winter solstice. In door celibrations could be held by fire places or around candles or fake flames.
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alvie singer at the begining of anniw was in therapy as a child because he found out the world had a limited life cycle and so “whats the use?”
i think in honor of oxy claus we shoud have a parade with an arc grown over with aglgea and vines to celebrate the introduction of plant life and animal life to the new mothership. but i dont know that there is any hurry, shouldnt we still have a few hundred million years before the end of life on this planet? i hate getting life started on another planet and then realizing you have to maintain the damn thing for 200 million years longer than neccessary. changing the water in my fish tanks is enough of a challange. keeping the surface cooking on a planet a couple hundred light years away is a chore that we can ask the taxpayer to fund for long term future taxation. planting the seeds eh? the maintainance staff would be 14th generation before they even got there. better start talking about providing library reading material for the trip. maybe we could make the space ship look like an arc and put some zebra mussels and chinese carp in there to get the ball rolling
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game night tonight 12/12
munchkins welcome.
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Play for me — can’t make it — helping out at the dance recital rehearsal tonight!
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Will do
Enjoy
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What time do we commence?
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Perhaps we could hide something symbolic of single-celled organisms for the kiddies to find (Great Oxidation Ova?). And then eat little yellow orb cakes (Goldilocks Planet Confections). Oooh…little round treats of all sorts: truffles in appropriate flavors, tea cakes flavored maybe with lemon, round fruits, heck, maybe a ball-shaped fruit cake?…This seems like an excellent opportunity for baking (not that I need an excuse to bake).
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Hostess Snowball Earths
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There should be some way to get science involved to the baking of treats for the Great Oxidation Festival. Maybe cooking in solar ovens could be encouraged. How about a mad scientist chef who cooks using beakers and bunsen burners. I’m sure that that Mr. Science could come up with a funny show on the science of baking treats for the Great Oxidation Festival.
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Baking is, after all, science – it’s all chemistry. I’m all for this! There could be a Solar Oven Bake-Off, a contest involving basic kitchen ingredients and maybe explosions or other interesting chemical reactions…lab coats could be the National Costume for the day (and for safety goggles for our headgear).
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Yes, we are thinking along the same lines, Anna. We could have Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty advise us about how to stay safe while doing those cooking chemistry activities.
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i just heard bill nye the science guy on the radio this weekend. he has a science venue called stuff happens. same old guy . miss him
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Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant, Beaker.
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I’m sure Dr. Larry Kyle could come up with a new offering to celibrate the Great Oxidation. Perhaps he could sell a jar of primative microbes that would evolve into varous kinds of delicious fruit when you open the jar and expose them to oxygen.
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Excellent, Jim. 🙂
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They don’t need to be primitive , if they were the latest in microbes by the time they got there they would be really really old already
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Greetings! Apparently, it’s all about photosynthesis. The theme song could be “It Isn’t Easy Being Green” and Kermit the Frog could be Oxi-Claus. The celebration would include frog-leaping, kissing a pig, mud wrestling and frog mating calls. The beverage of choice would naturally be Bud-Weis-Er. Next to Kermit, the Sun God Ra would be a very important deity.
I’ve got Muppets on the brain — saw the Muppet movie last weekend and had a great time. Funny movie. We are hoping to attend Tim’s Game Night tonight.
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see above…
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The Great Oxidation. We could all dress up and sit in the pumpkin patch and wait for the Great Oxidator. Or we could look for baskets full of goodies from the OxiBunny. Of course if we celebrat the Great Oxidation at our house, we’ll have lots of OxiPoinsettias, drink lots of OxiChocolate and eat massive amounts of OxiFruitCake and OxiSnickerdoodles!
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Right, V S, all kinds of oxi stuff, maybe even some oxymorons.
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We could have an Oxi morality play, like the plays they had in medieval England, “In comes I, the fool on the Oixhobby horse” with the wicked Ozone destroyer and other corlorful characters.
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My imagination is stuck in park this morning. Oxidation? Do you mean we’re going to celebrate what is happening to my car and some of my coworkers? I always thought of oxidation as a kind of decay or return to the earth. Now I’m to understand that it’s necessary for the planet to oxidize in order to create life in the first place. I guess Dylan knew that all along:
…The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin’
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin’.
So, to celebrate I would choose to stick with a bonfire and folk music (I know – I always choose the same thing). Oxi-Claus is invited but he/she must bring gifts of metal that will oxidize quickly when exposed to oxygen, firelight, beer and folk music.
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Like. 🙂
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The answer my friend is oxidizing in the wind the answer is oxidizing in the wind
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The two primary icons for the celebration should be the Oy Moron and the Oxy Doll, which are burned as effigies full of fireworks, like two Guy Fawkes.
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Oxy Moron, obviously.
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… and the obvious choice for our holiday icon, Clyde! 🙂
Sounds like it would have to be a raucous celebration if a moron is our figurehead!
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We could serve coconut macamorons
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I wonder if the younger baboons know what Oxydol was?
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I used to know, but I forgot. Took too many anti-oxidants I guess.
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Laundry detergent or stain remover, wasn’t it? (Bleaching agent maybe?) Something with the laundry…
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You better evolve
You better breathe deep
Get ready to solve
Photosynthesis, eep!
Oxi-Claus is coming to town
He’s bringing a plant
Feeding it nice
Gonna find out
Who’s exhaling twice
Oxi-Claus is coming to town…
He sees you when you decay
He knows when you’re alive
He knows if you’ve been absorbing gas
So breathe O2 and not B5…
Oh…you better evolve….
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🙂
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Thanks all…slow afternoon at work for me, clearly. 🙂
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Kudos, Anna. O.X.C. has always wanted his own theme song, ever since we invented him about 12 hours ago.
“He knows if you’ve been absorbing gas …”
But does he know if you’re emitting it? That would make the Oxi-Claus job the world’s worst, perhaps.
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Everybody knows if you’re emitting it. Nothing special there
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Terrific, Anna!
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Perfect anna
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The best show ever on Last Summer Wine is on, the perfect one ofr today, the one where Compo dies.
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Wine needs oxygen to breathe and open up the flavor….
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I agree about the need for fire of some kind – bonfire or candle carrying folks. And the Solar Oven Bake-Off. And… lots of fun, Baboons.
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