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Oscar Buzz

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Today’s post is a series of messages that came in yesterday from from Bart the Bear, the wild animal who found a cell phone in the north woods. Everything has been translated from the original Ursus Textish.

Bart - The Bear Who Found a Cell Phone

8:17 am
Yo. Bart here.
Just woke up and it feels like I didn’t sleep at all. Is it early? Seems early. Can’t believe winter really happened, even.

8:32
This phone thingy keeps buzzing, like a giant silver beetle. I want to eat it.

8:55
The buzz happens every time a message arrives. All of them are “alerts”. I think whoever lost the phone set it up to do this automatically when there’s a certain kind of news. In this case, the news is that “Oscar” is coming. Sometime soon. Who’s Oscar?

8:59
Oh, THAT Oscar.

9:05
I used to watch the Oscars every year through a window at the Ranger Station. Then they moved the show up to February and I was sleeping through it. Saw lots when there were more drive-in movie theaters – Hollywood lost a lot of feral fans when those started closing.
Better catch up on the nominees.

9:10
Will need popcorn tomorrow night. Ship to “Bear in Woods, Nevis MN”.

9:12
How come a bear has never won best supporting actor? What about the bears in Grizzly Man? Or any of the Care Bears?

9:16
My favorite bear movie – The Bears and I – with Patrick Wayne, John Wayne’s son. Bear gets top billing. 1974 wasn’t that long ago.

9:30
Just saw the list of Best Film nominees. Why so many? And “The Artist” is silent? What year did I wake up in?

9:41
“Moneyball” is about baseball? Then why no Oscar for “The Bad News Bears” in 1976 or 2005?

9:45
Who decided it would be a good idea to re-make “The Bad News Bears”?

9:51
Why do horses get so much attention? They are pretty but not as smart as you think!

9:59
Feeling snoozy again. Oscar excitement wearing me out. Don’t let me sleep through t …

Poor Bart. I sometimes wonder if he’s a Hollywood bear misplaced in the north woods.

What type of movie star would you be? Best actor / actress material? Supporting? Character? One film wonder?

83 thoughts on “Oscar Buzz”

  3. I received the “best supporting actress” award as a senior in high school for playing the singer/narrator in The Death and Life of Sneaky Fitch. I could do a country AND western accent while playing the guitar. Nobody else could do that, so I got the part.

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  5. OT Final Liam report. As I’ve written, Liam’s equanimity was shattered by the loud airplane and chaotic inner city motel. He was enormously relieved to get back among familiar things. Molly overheard Liam reassuring his toys the day after getting back, “No more airplane.” No more hotel.”

    Yesterday Molly picked Liam up at daycare. He was in high spirits. “Where we going, Mommy?” “HOME! We get to go HOME!” “I don’ wanna go home,” said Liam. Molly was astonished. “Sure you want to go home to your animals and toys. Where do you want to go? “I wanna go to grampa’s house!”

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    5. I’ve got a box filled with books and CDs that I’ll send to Molly as soon as I can, PJ. The “Bunny Planet” books are in that box. At the moment I cannot walk well enough to get to a store where I can mail that box, but one way or another I’ll get those charming books out there soon.

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      2. You can go to usps.com to schedule a pickup. If all you’re mailing are media items like books and CDs, you can ship media rate which can be considerably cheaper than other mailing rates. Not sure if the post office charges to pick up media rate items or not…hopefully not.

        If you prefer, I could pick up the package and bring it to the post office to mail. I mail a lot of packages, so I’m good at it! Of course, you may not want a criminal like me to come to your house…

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  6. i discovered twitter during the super bowl this year. you just turn on your twitter account and share in all the fun comments people make. you have to follow someone fun but I follow mo rocca steve martin sarah silverstien the onion horowitz
    bob edwards is fun. i am trying to think of who else it would be fun to follow
    maybe eddie murphy i am following a person who claims to be the new leader of north korea who is hoot if you want my list i can dig it up

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      5. I found a set of Bunny Planet books for Liam at amazon.com. Hope Steve sends them out to him soon.
        Had a reasonably good night. Enjoying a cup of tea before all the morning poking, stabbing and other hospital fun starts. Will be checking in as energy permits. Did a late post to yesterday’s blog. Later, PJ.

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        1. You’re up early, PJ. A cuppa tea and a quiet hour to gather yourself for the day. Very glad to hear you got some sleep. It’s hard to get a full night’s rest in hospital.

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        1. Still smiling! What a gal, PJ. I hope to meet you some day About 10 years ago I fell down the basement stairs and fractured my right wrist. It became a challenge to see how much I could learn to do left handed. You will surprise yourself. I don’t know what your Hollywood ambitions are, but a good wave is a must when you find yourself on the red carpet!

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  7. I see myself as kind of the jack nicholson kind of character rather than harrison ford persona actually harrison would be fun. who I would really enjoy getting his reject scripts would be johnny depp. not the heartthrob stuff but the creative charachterazations maybe you have to play work up but i don’t know the musicians who play in an ensamble rarely get to be front and center. i think you need to start with the jack nicholson mentality . ok im declaring lead. thanks for helping me work through it.
    billy crystal is hosting the oscars and he is the best. looking forward to it

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    1. I don’t see you as having Jack Nicholson mentality, tim. To me the most distinctive thing about Jack is his evil looking smile. I can see you being irreverent like Jack, but not with an evil looking smile. I supose you could develop that smile with a little practice.

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  8. Good morning to all. I’ve never done any acting. I would probably fit in best as a character actor or in a strange leading role in a Coen Brothers film.

    If the Coen Brothers came up with a good role for me, it would probably be a one film wonder for me. Do you think the Coen’s could make a film staring me as an alien from outter space who is discovered living incognito in a small town in Southern Minnesota? .

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  9. Having “tread the boards” when I was younger, I have long since learned that I am best suited to play talking animals and crazy people. That leaves me firmly in the character/supporting actor arena. Frankly, I’d rather work on the special effects and models at someplace like Industrial Light and Magic, but if you insist on putting me in front of the camera best give me a role that does not require Meryl Streep-like gravitas.

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    1. There are SO many great talking animal parts! Wind in the Willows, Frog and Toad, Watership Down, Janet Queen of the Bunny Planet. . . I’m seeing toads and bunnies in your future, Anna.

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      1. I have already played a rabbit (from Pooh), a turtle (Alice in Wonderland), a goose (Charlotte’s Web, and a donkey (another Pooh production). A toad or a frog would be fun. Might have to look up Janet Queen of the Bunny Planet – that sounds like a hoot.

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    1. I’ve also been wondering where Cynthia is and I do remember she told us, a while ago, about having fun playing a crazy old lady role.

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  11. I would be the serious actress who has a surprising comic streak. if i could sing and dance, I would love to be Reno Sweeney in a film version of Anything Goes.

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  12. Way back when I did a couple Mantorville Melodramas. I got a ‘Golden Oink Oink’ award. Huh, not sure what that was supposed to mean…?

    Nowadays, I have control issues; I need to be in back somewhere controlling things and making decisions. You have to give up too much control onstage. Huh. Wonder what that means….?

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    1. It means you’re not a spineless actor who anxiously waits for his time of glory on the stage — ah, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd …

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      2. Actually Robin, I performed in the melodramas… I learned a lot about mixed drinks back then. (The local watering hole had a menu that listed the ingredients of various drinks. ‘Rusty Nails’ was a favorite and became ‘punishment’ if I screwed up too badly.)

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    3. It means the new light board has gone to your head!

      So what is the picture of the newest toy you have representing you here?

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      1. That’s a ‘Hog IPC’ and it was a rental. Although we are seriously looking at getting the PC version of that. Real buttons and sliders are extra on the PC version but there are virtual buttons and sliders.

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  14. Greetings! Back in college when I entertained notions of being an actress, my fantasy was to be in films, receive an Oscar, be on talk shows, etc. Of course, I would be a leading lady like Meryl Streep (who can do anything — drama, comedy, country western singer). I even sort of had my thank you speeches planned out, and wondered how I would handle those pesky paparazzi. I didn’t realize it was Sunday night already, and I have no where to watch it! There’s no TV reception in this stupid building. Is there a web cast?

    Well, for those of you following my trials and tribulations, my Series of Unfortunate Events is now turning into a Series of Excellent Events. We have gotten help from Wright County Human Services, Jim started work at a long term temp job last week, I’ll be starting a long term temp job on Monday, etc. We’re selling our fridge today for $350 cash (I hope). Things are looking up. Thanks to all of you for being there for me.

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      1. And you don’t even have to make an acceptance speech in a too tight dress worried that you will pop out of it at any moment. May the positive string stretch out!!!

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    7. Thanks for the cheerful report, Joanne. Let’s hope the whole economy follows your lead.
      Maybe you could track the Oscars through tim’s Twitter feed?

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  15. I would never be a movie star. Not only do I have zero talent, I hate to have lots of people looking at me. But if I had to be in a movie, maybe I could have a very, very small role as one person in a very large crowd (so I wouldn’t be noticed). There are some who say I should be a villain, but it would have to be a very unnoticeable villain.

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    4. Now that I’ve thought more about this, I think I could play a crazy bag lady. I would wear baggy, shapeless clothing, carry lots of weird stuff in bags, have messy gray hair, and mutter to myself. Of course, there are some people who would say I wasn’t really acting. I suppose I could be a villainous bag lady to make it more interesting (and to remain true to character).

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  16. Edith, I can relate to your shunning the spotlight. My daughter once played at a piano recital with a sign on her back– “No clapping allowed!”–and my on-stage resume is a sole high school performance where I was murdered in the first 5 minutes and played a dead body for the remaining three acts. A subtle performance of non-acting/scratching/twitching but nonetheless an eternity I’d rather forget.

    I’ve done lots of costuming though — Talking animal, incognito alien, crazy person, Johnny Depp wannabe, and elusive lady villain in pink sound like fertile ground for creative costuming, yes? When you all hit the big time, remember the little people behind the scenes who make you look SO good in front of the camera.

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  17. I want to be a contender in the screenplay-writing category and the screenplay would be about George Washington’s mother. She’s the reason I’m related to George Washington because her maiden name was Ball and so was mine until I got married and decided it was a BIG mistake but I didn’t want to go to the bother to change it back, and besides, doesn’t that send a negative message to your children when you do that, plus the fact my married name is unique in that you only have to switch around two letters and it spells Bastard. Getting back to the screenplay – Mary Ball was extremely eccentric. She hated dressing up, liked to fish and smoked a pipe, and conversely liked to smoke fish in her pipe. She wanted to keep George close to home but like his mother, he had a mind of his own and got the hell out of there as soon as he could. Once he was gone she immediately began worrying about money. During the French and Indian Wars she ran out of butter and wrote George and asked him to send her some, and during the Revolutionary War she wrote the Virginia government and asked for an allowance because she was “in want”. This embarrassed George a great deal and he wrote his mother and said if you don’t knock it off I’m going to let the government know your famous gingerbread recipe was stolen from Dolly Madison and beneath your skirts you wear a thong.

    This is all I’ve got so far and I realize it needs a lot more material to make it long enough for a movie which means making stuff up, but so what?? It runs in the family! Everyone knows the cherry tree story is bogus. What is true is that George neglected his teeth and ignored his sleep apnea. (The poor bastard!)

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    1. Donna, I think you have been wasting your time working as a school teacher when you could have had a career as a screen writer. It’s time to resign from that teaching job and head out to Hollywood.

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    2. This sounds promising, Donna. Maybe tim can play george… Holly can narrate and maybe sing; several above would step into the character roles, Robin can play a corpse if there is one…

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      1. … I’m sure there could be an animal or crazy person part for Anna; Linda could be an Extra Extraordinaire. Can you work in Olive Oyl, Donna, for Krista, and a crazy bag lady for Edith?

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  18. Wow, I go away for a couple of days and all kinds of stuff happens! PJ – so sorry to hear about the fall and hospitalization. I’m glad you can still be here, sort of… keep us up to date.

    Joanne and Jim – hooray! What a relief.

    Steve – Wish we could get that beaming thing going so Liam could come and see his grandpa regularly.

    To answer the question – I’d want to be in a musical, gotta sing or dance. Not the lead, too much pressure – minor character or chorus, but have to have fun costumes.

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    1. Definitely singing and dancing for you, Barbara! Maybe “Fiddler” or “Guys and Dolls” or “West Side Story”. For fun costumes, maybe Gilbert and Sullivan or “Cosi” Hope you had a great weekend of dancing’

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  19. Everything considered, this was a great day. Tucker, a five year old Welsh Corgi therapy dog visited me this afternoon; absolutely made my day,

    Watched the Oscars and am ready to go to sleep.

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