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Space Treasures

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Bored with the available options for stealing things made here on planet Earth, thieves have taken to taking things that come from outer space.

One man has been arrested and another may be behind bars soon for the Christmas Eve pilfering of 100 meteorites from the Pisgah Astronomical Research Institute near Asheville, North Carolina.

Apparently, buying and selling space rocks is a big deal online.

As with major works of art by dead painters, things that are rare and unusual can command a high price. Anything that can bring in bucks is a target for the criminal element, but one has to wonder if meteorite futures are as bright as the prospects for, say, works by Picasso or Munch.

After all, if the value of a thing is defined by its scarcity, one must take into account that the Universe is full of rocks. Most of them did not come from Earth, so while meteorites might be valuable today, how impressive will they be in 50 years when your descendants can take a day trip to the moon and come home with a bag of space chunks?

Yes, any serious connoisseur of extra-planetary debris should begin building his or her collection with an eye for the long term – the very, very, very long term. Rocks that somehow landed on earth by accident are fascinating, but it would be wise to be a little more discerning.

Some sky watchers predict it won’t be long before we discover another planet showing exactly the right conditions to be a mirror image of Earth. Wouldn’t space rocks from such a place be far more valuable than a collection of mere pebbles from Mars? And what if a civilization was discovered on this planet? Wouldn’t their tools, appliances and ephemera be extremely collectible? What are a few metorites compared to getting your hands on a Pandoran fork?

And of course once the cosmic trade routes are set up, the reverse will be true as well. Your excess stuff, which you see now as worthless, will be viewed as pricey exotica on distant worlds. This, it seems to me, is the only rational argument for hanging on to all that trash in the basement – to package it up and ship it off to another civilization shortly after contact is made.

That’s why I’m collecting wine corks. Light and easy to ship, they’ll be valuable treasures on Earth II, where the amazed resident creatures will gladly part with their fortunes to own and display a souvenir of our strange world.

With what commodity are you ready to corner the inter-galactic trinket trade?

112 thoughts on “Space Treasures”

  1. Welcome to 2013. Quiet here this morning. Dale, I figured you’d take the day off; it is a holiday after all.
    We were in bed before midnight but it was after midnight somewhere.

    The ‘inter-galactic trinket trade’? Pens. Ink pens. I’ll ship out as many as they want. And modular telephone cables. The little ones that come with every new phone you buy (back when you actually had a ‘home phone’) I have a collection of those.
    I”ve got a box of old cell phones. I’m afraid I’m collecting old computers too.
    I think we have 3 different size crock pots. We don’t have a lot of un-necesarry kitchen gadgets, but it always surprises me we have three crock pots…
    Now out in my shop I have multiple hammers. Because you can never have too many hammers, right Anna?
    Three different sizes of ball peen hammers. The rubber mallet, the ‘dead blow’ hammer, the claw hammer (ripping and curved claw) small mallets, brass, sledge… but those are valuable. I couldn’t bear to part with them.

    Cold here this morning. Minus 16! Brrrr! Stay warm Baboons!

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    1. Ben, I love the idea of shipping ball-peen hammers to distant planets! It makes me think of that door-to-door anvil salesman in The Music Man. What a wonderful job! Of course today it would be “fair market anvils, delivered by bicycle”.

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      1. I grew up on a farm that regularly used all three sizes of ball-peen hammers. Back when people worked forges and used rivets on machinery. When I de-tooled myself of almost everything including two anvils (which I did not use when I played Charlie Cowell) I kept the smallest peener, as my dad called them, and a six-inch long anvil.

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    2. I also have a large collection of various cables and such that came with computers, phones, printers, and some other things. I have started throwing some of them away getting ready to move. I’ve only made a small dent in this collection because I keep thinking that some day I will save myself the cost of buying one those that I am saving when the need for one of them arises. Of course this collection just keeps getting larger and none them are ever put to use. I should throw out the entire mess. The people from outer space can have them any time they want them.

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    3. You are correct, Ben, you can never have too many hammers. (Though now I am thinking once again of my beloved 16oz hammer that followed me through college and beyond…sniff…3 rubber mallets, a fiberglass 16oz and a couple others cannot take your place…sniff sniff.)

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  2. Morning all… -5 here… Happy New Year!

    I have four fondue pots, only two of which I purchased myself. Two ice cream makers. Those pans for making tortilla shells. Suffice it to say, more kitchen toys than common sense! Vinyl albums in the attic and massive numbers of canning bottles in the basement. Plastic bins for every holiday, each filled with decorations. And books everywhere.

    Nice fantasy that any of it will ever be worth anything!

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    1. VS, my guess is that space aliens will find the vinyl LP albums most attractive as exotic off-planet collectibles, but we’d need to re-name them as something more elemental and fundamental-sounding, akin to “meteorite”. Vinylor? Albumium? EllPeeteorites?

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    1. Another member if this twosome could do a good brisk business in purses and wallets that just were not quite right, the perfect one in fact never have been found in 48 years of marriage.

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    2. Yes, I have some glass insulators too – hardly anyone HERE knows what they’re for anymore, let alone a distant planet…

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        1. They are beautiful, and have such pleasing heft, but since I’m not into dusting, you won’t see any on display at our house.

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        2. Don’t let Jim see this — it’s just the kind of thing he would think is beautiful and would have them out all over the place. And I’m with PJ — not into knick knacks or dusting!

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    3. We’ve got a few of them around. I always thought they were antiques, and therefore, valuable. But I see you can buy them new. Well, new reproductions I suppose.

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  4. Those of you who are friends with me on fb, look at the pictures my son took last night of the Space Needle (from his building roof top, which is reported to be the best view of the fireworks in Seattle.)

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      1. Oh, my son I am sure has it blogged. We had an incident last week when a person linked my photo and claimed it as theirs. So we both put blogs on from all but friends of our own pix. Sorry.

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        4. They are there. Promise. I am sure it is all about controls we put on when someone took a photo of mine and claimed it as theirs. I took my controls off, but he did not I bet. I’m putting mine back on.
          Sorry I brought this up. But they do a fireworks show from the Space Needle at midnight. They had a great view.

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  5. If the question is what do I have in my basement that I could fob off on an alien planet’s citizens . . . well that would have to be my collection of 35 mm Kodachrome 64 slides that I hoped one day to sell to outdoor magazines. I have many hundred slides of men holding dead woodcock, men pretending to be fighting a big fish, men releasing trout they have just caught, dogs running toward the camera with a dead pheasant in their mouths, and so forth. Freelance outdoor writers know they can sell just about any vapid or fraudulent article to some editor if the article has pretty photos with it.

    What alien would not be thrilled to see photos of me walking in weeds or my erstwife holding a lake trout (with gorgeous Lake Superior in the background). The aliens wouldn’t even need a slide projector to see these; just hold ’em up to the light. But come to think of it, I have two slide projectors to sell, too. I surely have a thousand such slides. I wouldn’t have to charge much for each one to come out well.

    Or we could set up a swap. I don’t know what aliens have that I need, but I don’t currently have a crock pot. Hey Ben, could you use 100 slides of dead bass?

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    2. We could combine our slide collection, Steve, and come close to cornering the market. I have lots of slides of farmers and farm scenes from my days of doing work in agriculture. I even have a bunch of slides taken by a professional photographer for educational use. The professional photographer had an even larger collection of farm slides that were all taken before the days of digital cameras. I don’t know what became of him and his slide collection. I think both he and I were victims of a shift away from working directly with farmers at the place where we were working.

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        2. wow man like i hadn’t thought about that. i had hair then. but i was usually on this side of the camera. my brother and girl friend land good old jack murphy on the summer trip mark sorenson on the winter trip ooked pretty 70’s i suppose but t was mostly rocks waterfalls and vistas, many pictures driving down the road i would get back to and paint later from the inspiration. theres that thought to get back to theme again

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        3. I tossed virtually all of my slides from Russia, Central Asia and Greenland last year. They were so faded you could hardly see anything anymore.

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        5. Not during the summer months, tim. With 24 hours of continuous daylight, Greenland has an amazing flora and fauna. Wildflowers, many of which aren’t found elsewhere, are abundant. During the winter months it tends to be a little bleak.

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    3. My next show is an interior of a home. I wonder if I could build the entire thing out of 35mm slides?
      I’ve got a couple boxes I inherited that could be used…

      You all know you can scan them into your computers, right?
      Hmmm, send them to me and I’ll scan them in and send you DVD’s. If you’re not in a hurry…

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      2. Really? You would do that?

        You don’t mean I can scan them into my computer using my all-in one printer/scanner? I need something else to scan them – correct?

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        1. Well, OK, I kinda lied. (and I had to go try this and do a little Googling – that’ll teach me to spout off when I don’t really know what I’m talking about).
          You can use the all in one / flat scanner. You have to jack up the resolution and they will be ‘tolerable’ depending how good your scanner is, ect.
          If you really want quality copies, it’s a little more involved using some backlight and different formats and such.
          And I didn’t play with it that much…
          So, uh, tim, hang on to those slides for awhile…

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  6. We have far too many boxes of sausage spice mixes for do it yourself sausage makers. Husband swears that he will use them all up, but when it is time to make sausage, he makes up his own spice mixture from the spices in the cupboard. We could get aliens to buy them by marketing them as bath salts.

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  7. I can’t tell you how many old cordless phones we have lying around here, most with dead batteries or something that rendered them dysfunctional. (Could be matched with Ben’s cords, no doubt.) I’ll wander the depths and see what else is there.

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    1. I used to have the coolest imaginable dead cordless phone. It was from my cabin. It didn’t work because a bear bit it right in its tummy, leaving a big old bear tooth hole. Talk about “rare.” I wouldn’t trade that for five crock pots and a ball peen hammer.

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    1. my furnace went out yesterday so the house is a little cooler than i like. probubly about wher ethis group kees it normally 40 something. the part arrived this morning the reapir dude will be by later. centerpoint service plus is worth its weight in plutonium

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        1. i called at 8 new years eve they were out and gone by 11 part here at 9 am guy will be by today. cant imagine what that would take without the program. sorry about your bad xmas deal. do you have a weird furnace that requires chasing parts? i have that with refrigerator dishwasher and oven but furnace is normal so bing bang. where i have gone a month with no dishwasher waiting for parts from italy or some damn place.

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        2. I had a double whammy. Bad diagnosis to start with (not that I knew this until I insisted another technician come out) but then the order for the part got lost. Since it was holiday weekend, they didn’t have any way to track the part, so every service person I spoke to could see that it had been ordered, but no one could get to a live person to see where the heck the part was. When I told S.P. that I wanted to start over and to send a new technician (which they resistedly mightily), then it turns out the first technician had been wrong anyway.

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        3. My kids have learned from me how to parlay that type of disservice into a payday. My daughter called to ask my advice and I told her to get the supervisor and her reply was am I asking for a supervisor to get it fixed or just ot get the credit for 6 months service due to their screw up. My advice to you is to get a supervisor and ride em hard of free 1 year of service plus

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  9. Good morning. I have lots of trinkets that are scattered around the house in drawers and other places. These items were given to me as gifts or were collected as mementos of various trips and other occasions. I forced myself to get rid of a few of the least attractive members of this collection and somehow couldn’t get rid of most of them. If I was ever able to gather all of them in one place they would form a large pile. Tiny games and bug figurines make up the bulk of this collection. There seems to be no end to the number of small bug figures that various members of my family think I should have because I like insects and some people seem to think I am gamey. I would be glad to send some of this stiff to another planet.

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  10. We are still in an age with a surplus of Kid Art. Lots of it – more than we can display. It could be sold to alien cultures as the finest work of our most creative mind(s). Children haven’t learned yet to filter their art to much based on what things are “supposed” to look like or be when it comes to art, which means you get some interesting surprises in what you are looking at (as any parent or grandparent knows). Also, you get a lot of mixed media pieces as well as representational, abstract, sculpture and the odd bit of realism. None of it is the Mona Lisa or Guernica, but the aliens don’t know that…

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    2. i disagree. lots of it is the mona lisa and guernica. the artists try to emulate the art of the uncorrupted souls who havent learned to try to impress. they do it with 100% purity and that speaks volumes in the essence of the piece

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      1. Well that was sort of my point – anyone can appreciate the beauty of the Mona Lisa, but it takes a special eye to appreciate, “Still Life in Crayon and Watercolor (with added glitter).”

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    3. We also have quite a bit of this in the attic as well, in a big portfolio, which sounds way fancier than the artwork deserves. Assorted craft stuff…. tie dye (which we just did over the weekend), candle making, construction paper, glitter glue, ribbons, Ukrainian egg supplies, blocks of wood — lots and lots here!

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  11. if we could figure out how to package thoughts ill get back to later on a memory card or something i could be a gazillionaire. i regularly have somethng pop up in everyday life that references something else i had thought about in depth a while back and filed away for future reference . kind of like my prairie home companion cassette tapes form the 70’s and 80’s videos of cbs sunday morning, vcr tapes of old movies complete with commercials from the 80’s and how about goldf shoes. i do have 26 pairs at least of golf shoes from garage sales and stopping in to play it again sports stores were they have 100 dollar shoes for only 10 dollars. if one pair is a good deal 7 pairs is fantastic. i just commited to another 5000 lps all big band stuff forma collector who is downsizing to add to my viny collection so sherrilee if there is anything wonderful in your attic stash i can be reached for a possible transaction. when the transporter comes for the cosmic department store i think we can start a baboon kiosk in the alien mall. we can deal by skype and blog about the transactions daily o the intergallactic baboon blog .

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  12. This is OT. I have a dear friend who is an artist living in New Jersey. The lead story in her local paper today is about a computer repairman who killed some woman in his office and stuffed the corpse in the dumpster in the alley. That is Sue’s computer guy. She meant to take a machine to him last week but with all the Christmas tasks she didn’t get around to it. Now she needs a new computer guy.

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    1. sounds like shes damn lucky she needs a new computer guy. the lead story needs to stop being about sicko killers . i believe that is a big part of why they do it. they need to go to the end of the obits in small print and figure out how to make the story about the poor victims who were involved. dont even mention his name

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  13. Somehow I missed this song along the way. It is from a Muppets Christmas album but seems like it is better at answering questions about computer men and lost hammers

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    2. i was a big john denver fan even when far out wasnt cool. i have very nice memories of his last concert here when he always leaves the first 3 rows open and fills them with bright people who will be a joy to play to. my daughter and i were selected. we had (have somewhere) tickets to the concert scheduled for a week after his plane accident. i can do one john denver song after another.

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        3. Back when I was working as a stagehand, I stood next to a guy who’s back John Denver touched as he walked up onstage!

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        4. Did you reach over to touch his shirt or something so you could say you touched someone who touched someone
          Sounds kind of new testament

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  15. Books, books, and more books. CDs, DVDs, Depression glass, Trivial Pursuit games 🙂 I don’t know what the aliens would do with the books, since I doubt they can read our writing, but music and movies could teach them about our culture. Sort of. As could TP games!

    Happy New Year!

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      1. My grandma gave me three packed boxes of Depression glass that she had been collecting. I have large amounts of two patterns, and one bowl in a third. I’ve always been intrigued by the fact that it was given away during the Depression, but costs so much now. Plus, it’s beautiful. I just wish I had the space to display it.

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  16. OK, some barely usable appliances, an uninflated inflatable (maybe) raft, a couple of old teakettles. LOTS of canning jars and empty wine bottles. several sizes of picnic coolers. Uffda.

    OT: If anyone in Twin Cities is looking for something to do this evening: Sacred Circle Dance potluck – dancing (all dances taught) at 5, potluck at 6. I realize this is short notice…

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  17. Greetings! The aliens are welcome to our numerous dead phones, dead computers, cables, wires, resistors, capacitors, old computer mother boards, parts, and other assorted stupid stuff. Notice all of this is JIM’S STUFF. We also have in-law’s collection of vinyl albums — mainly big band, I think. At least my stuff is useful (smile). Happy New Year, everyone!

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    1. Everyone is willing to get rid of the significant others crap but don’t come near my wonderful kept for a reason stuff or I’ll have to kill you

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    1. Maybe your rubber bands could meet up with my rubber bands and we could turn them into art. Though thinking on my prior comment, perhaps we should find a couple of kids to turn them into art.

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    2. I think we could send off krista to join Edith in the hoosegow for stealing state rubber bAnds she didn’t realize they all have little tracing decodes on them that will nail her and send her away for a long long time, my suggestion krista is to start flushing them before the CIA shows up

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      2. I could use some baboons for company here (not sure what “hoosegow” is supposed to be, but I assume you meant it to be the place where I’m incarcerated).

        And if Krista starts flushing her rubber bands, she might have a serious plumbing problem…

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  19. I think I will look into starting a new career as an EllPeeteorite tycoon.

    Other things that I would consider parting with: old floppy disks that might have something interesting on them; recipes I haven’t tried yet; picture frames that aren’t quite the right size.

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    1. Tycoon of any sort sounds appealing, and Linda, I think you’d make a fine one. I could free up several shelves of storage space if I were to get rid of our EllPeeteriotes, that, by the way, we don’t have the equipment to play. We have a turntable, but the “new, fancy” Marantz radio (receiver, amplifier – whatever it is) we bought several years ago, doesn’t have a place to plug the turntable into! Aaaargh!

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    1. Holly, that’s great! Had never heard that before. Will have to investigate further. How do you know about these kinds of gems?

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    2. Wow, I just kept going and listened to “Would You Like to Learn to Dance.” Why do so many of the good ones have to die young?

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