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Flip Swish Advisory

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Today’s post comes from America’s leading discourager of reckless behavior and most varieties of fun, Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty.

At ease, civilians!

I know I don’t need to repeat that you are safest from harm when you are relaxed and attentive. So get enough sleep, don’t drink to excess, and don’t do things that stick a finger in the eye of gravity or make you, or other people, tense.

That’s why I’m sorely disappointed in William Carey University cheerleader Ashlee Arnau, whose flipping-and-basketball-throwing performance has gone viral on Youtube.

I’ll show it to you, but only if you promise you will never, ever do this yourself.

http://youtu.be/9a4tY08S3fg

Ashley told the AP she “really doesn’t practice”, but she has been working on it during half time at home games and this try was the fifth of the night at the last game of the year. In other words, the last possible attempt for this season – imagine the pressure!

This sets a very alarming example for all of America’s flippable youth. Not only was she turning herself upside down without wearing a helmet, but she threw a heavy basketball at high velocity towards a distant target she couldn’t see very well. What if a baby climbed up there on a ladder at the very last minute? Or a frail old grandma?

Unlikely, I know. But what if?

And Ashlee is not alone in this obsession. Once you start to look around online, you’ll find dozens of videos where people are doing handsprings and launching spheres into the air. And then there are these guys, taking trick shots with basketballs around the outsides of airplanes. I know there’s something terribly dangerous and ill-advised about all of this, even if I can’t tell you what, exactly.

There’s additional danger on the way! I know this to be true – People who earn a small bit of fame making trick shots in Youtube videos will be called on to try those shots again and again and again. In the process of reaching for another taste of glory, they will face disappointment and may forget to become doctors, lawyers, mathematicians, artists, or even baristas. You can try your whole life to make the impossible shot a second time – and even if you do, so what? You already did that.

And during each of those fruitless attempts, they will repeatedly violate two of my most important safety rules:

1) Keep your feet on the ground, and
2) Don’t throw things.

So I’m imploring Ashlee Arnau and all who would mimic her, please … stop now while you’re ahead. Don’t ever try that again!

Yours in Safety,
B.S.O. Rafferty

It’s hard to argue with the reasoning here but I think Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty is just a little bit jealous. Having Youtube Trick Shot Fame would be incredibly satisfying – but once you know that your amazing feat is being replayed all over the world pretty much endlessly, it would naturally lead a person to wonder – what next?

Describe something you did successfully – just once.

62 thoughts on “Flip Swish Advisory”

    3. thank you linda, i love that song. today i was up and rolling before the 700 hour and had seen the topic and was thinking . its 3 now as i get back to it. many years of watching casey. i dont think i ever got to watch my name there or on ms bettys romper bomper stomper boo

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      1. There was never an “Anna” in the Romper Room magic mirror either. Not that I’m bitter or anything…(there was a teacher at my high school that had, rumor had it, been one of the Romper Room teachers early in her career – she certainly had the personality for it.)

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    2. Oops. I am at sixes and sevens right now. We have everything moved into our new apartment. Moved in but not all put away.
      MEANT TO SAY:I once in 20 below weather put a new fan belt on a 1963 Buick Special with out using any tools.

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  3. Couldn’t find the youtube of John McCutcheon singing this, but found the lyrics and did a little tweaking in honor of the birthday boy:
    Cut the Cake
    We’re gonna let 2nd grade out early today
    Which made little timmy kinda blue
    He just turned 7 years old that day
    And he thought he’d get a party at school
    He walked back home and he’s taken off his guard
    There’s chairs and tables all over the yard
    And his friends jumped up and they hollered real hard,
    “Happy Birthday to You!”

    CHORUS:

    It makes me think of the good old days
    Happy birthday to you
    You sure grew out of your baby ways
    Happy birthday to you
    (7th 23rd, 92nd) birthday we wish you many more
    Health and wealth and friends by the score
    Cut the cake and let’s eat some more
    Happy birthday to you

    Now tim’s 22 and he’s working for his Pop
    And his head’s full of business thru and thru
    He was planning out a whole new system at the shop
    And he forgot he had a birthday due
    He drove back home and he’s taken off his guard
    There’s chairs and tables all over the yard
    And his friends jumped up and they hollered real hard,
    “Happy Birthday to You!”

    CHORUS

    Now it’s old man tim in a rocking chair
    Admiring the view
    He’s still got all his teeth and he’s still got all his hair
    And today he’s 92
    He turns in his seat and he’s taken off his guard
    There’s chairs and tables all over the yard
    And his friends jumped up and they hollered real hard,
    “Happy Birthday to You!”

    CHORUS

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    1. My 42 year-old-son has just announced on facebook the birth of his first child expected to happen in August. His wife has announced after a miserable pregnancy so far that this is the only one (They were planning for only one anyway.)

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        1. If you grew up like I did – with a sibling I genuinely like and get along with – then there will always be days when I feel like I’m depriving my only child of that experience, days when there is a pang of regret for only having one (though Husband reminds me that not all siblings get along – we are unsure right now if his brother is still in the state, let alone if he has an address). Most days the three of us feel like just the right size for us and I am glad that I have more time, energy and resources to spend with my wonderful only child.

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        2. I have very mixed feelings about this issue. Only children are great (speaking as an only) and there are definite advantages to having only one child. I have two children who are nine years apart, and they both function as only children, but they have difficulty sharing me and my attention. They are wonderful when the other isn’t around, but it can really be a pain with they are together. I think it is improving slightly as they age, and they seem to be appreciating each other more and more. I found it lonely to be an only child, and now that my parents are very old, I could sure use the help of a sibling to share in their care.

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    1. Best wishes to you on your birthday, tim. Jacque might be a little off on your age. Isn’t this your 39th birthday?

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      1. Jack Benny celebrated his 39th birthday over and over again. Never got any older. Any way, at 58 you still a youngster as far as I’m concerned.

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  6. Good morning. I preformed an unintended trick driving stunt once. This stunt included a spinout into field that ended when my pickup tipped over on it’s side. I have no plans to repeat this trick.

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  7. I once mixed a perfect shade of blue-violet from leftover paints. I had just enough to paint the stage floor for a production of “Midsummer Night’s Dream.” The director loved it – I told him to take lots of pictures, that color could not happen a second time.

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  10. i do think officer rafferty has a future of job security for idiot stunts like thsi. this generation somehow in some ways reminds me of the goldfish eating phone booth stuff poodle dress wearing young people of the 50’s. and look how wonderful that group turned out.

    i will keep thinking

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  13. I once rode my unicycle a mile and a half to a nearby bridge and back. I might have actually done that twice but I remember the first time clearly.

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      1. No. Dad sold my unicycle when I was in college. I wish I still had it. It was hard to learn to ride; I’m not sure I could do it now. That was about 40 years ago…

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  14. I once accompanied my French-horn-playing daughter in her senior college recital (Luther in Iowa). A Beethoven sonata and a Peter Schickele piece. I practiced for six months. I will never do that again!
    Happy Birthday, Tim! It was a great day for a birthday.

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      1. Brave? I think there are other words. The thing was, I had played for her solos in high school, and she thought it would be nice if I would play for her college one. I am a decent church pianist but not really quite good enough to play the Beethoven. During the summer I practiced an hour or two a day, and then in the fall I had to cut back. Practicing with her in the fall was interesting – it’s four hours from our place to Luther one way, so a lot of driving was involved.
        There’s also this – in high school, being her accompanist meant I could help her calm down before she played. That didn’t work so well at her college in front of an audience of music majors – I was sort of nervous myself. The performance itself was okay, but not as good as we had done in practice. It seemed like an accomplishment to have done it, but definitely not something I plan to repeat.

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        1. Being an accompanist is its own challenge – it’s different than playing piano solo and requires it’s own skill set. Bravo to you.

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        2. Cool! My daughter loved it so much, she talked the younger daughter into going there, too. The younger one graduated in 2009.

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        4. Because my kids are five years apart, I think they are hoping to go to their 5-year and 10-year reunions together. When the younger one was there, the older one went to visit now and then. I loved the drive to Decorah, especially on the mornings when Amish farmers would be out selling things along highway 52. I have a beautiful woven basket that I bought one of those mornings. I did not like the length of the drive or the numbers of deer we saw some evenings.

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  16. Vicki’s reminded me that my mom and I once managed to play our simple piano duets on two grand pianos on a stage. It was Marshalltown’s Fisher Community Center, in the middle of a weekday, and our audience was: my dad. Mom knew someone in charge… we always said we’d go back and do it again, but never did. Wish we’d had dad at least take a photo.

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  17. I think what I have managed to do in the last few days is quite excellent. Moving. Every now in. The old apartment about half cleaned. Check out on the 28th.

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