The Baboon Congress

Life With Father

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Today’s guest post comes from Renee.

“Renee! That damn dog is looking at me again!!”

I respond to my father’s plaintive cry and remove the dog from the dining room. The cat is allowed to stay. Dad forgives cats for everything. My father believes that our animals should enjoy the bounty of our table, and he shares bits of his meals with them. Dad also believes that the dog should know when he has finished sharing, and she should just leave the room. We explain that she doesn’t think that way, and that he has to stop feeding her from the table if he wants her to leave him alone. As you can see from the photo, she waits patiently nearby while he eats. That is still too much for dad. He says that when an animal looks at him while he eats and he doesn’t feed it, he feels like the people in the parable of the Good Samaritan who walked past the victim and didn’t help. So, I remove the dog.

It has been six weeks since my 93 year old, newly widowed, father moved in with me and my husband. Things have gone pretty well, aside from his strife with the guilt-inducing terrier. He personalized his new room with photos, furniture from home, and mementos, and made it a comfortable nook where he reads, writes letters, and listens to CD’s of his favorite radio preachers. He is appreciative and meticulously clean and tidy. He is frustrated by his diminishing physical strength and his inability to fix things. He is easily hurt by a sharp word, and we need to be very patient as he struggles to understand the complicated business and health issues we discuss. He is usually quite cheerful, though, and remains curious about the world and the people around him.

Living with my father is a balancing act of providing necessary care with as much autonomy as possible. I am thankful that he is independent with all his personal care. I help out by organizing his meds and taking him to appointments and handling his business. Things will change as his health deteriorates from his cancer and cardiac disease and age, but at this point we have a pretty good thing going. He has breakfast with us every morning. He loves French press coffee. We go to work and he potters around until lunch, when we come home to eat with him. We go back to work, and then one of us slips away at 3:45pm to take him to coffee with a group of retired teachers. One of the teachers brings him home, and we meet up with him around 6:00 for supper. He goes to bed pretty early. On weekends he watches us garden. He also planned and directed the transformation of our basement and garage into temples of Dutch order and cleanliness. We have a very Jake-centric household, but that is ok with us. I am thankful that my husband is supportive of our doing this. We are both very fatigued at the end of the day.

Every day when we leave for work we make sure Dad has a bowl of Lindt chocolate truffles on the counter, a beer or two in the fridge, lots of ice cream, and Radio Heartland streaming on the computer. He really likes listening to Jimmy Dale Gilmore and the Wronglers. He knows he is shamelessly spoiled, and repays us with stories. Here is a true one from home about people I know.

Old Johnny B was a farmer and horse trader from Magnolia, MN, born around the turn of the century. (His son Dallas is still alive and went skydiving two years ago on his 95th birthday.) Many years ago Johnny bought a horse from an old German farmer, and when he got the horse home, he put it in the corral and the horse proceeded to walk right into the barn wall. The horse was blind! Johnny confronted the farmer. “Why didn’t you tell me the horse was blind?” The farmer replied in his thick accent “I did! I told you he didn’t look so good!”

I think a story like that makes up for any amount of extra work we have. He has tons of stories, and we will keep the truffles and beer in good supply as long as he can enjoy them.

Share a joke a 93 year-old might enjoy. 

42 thoughts on “Life With Father”

  1. the joke your dad told reminded me of the one where the fellow had a horse that started to wheeze and cough so he called his friend down the road and asked him what he did for his horse with a simolar condition.
    well the neighbor responds ” i gave him a cup and a half of turpentine”.
    “ok ill give it a try” says our friend… so he gives the horse the turpentine and goes to bed and when he comes out the next morning he finds the horse dead. he calls his neighbor and tells him that after following the instructions his horse died. the neighbor responds “yeah thats just what happened to my horse too”

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  2. a bowl of truffels a couple of beers and radio heartland doesnt sound too bad out there in the flatlands. are there any ballgames for hm to go watch or is he not interested if hes not umpiring? i would think a little legion ball or a game of the oil field teams might be good. it stays light out there til 1100 this time of year and ill bet there are some good twilight games if you can switch the schedule around. heck he doesnt have to get up first thing if theres a good game on

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    1. We’ve tried to get him to Legion and High School games, but he is strangely resistant to the idea. We took him fishing last weekend. He hadn’t fished for 20 years, and caught 10 perch and had a blast.

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  3. Well, my dad just played a joke on me. I opened our local paper this morning, and there was a letter to the editor he sent in about a recent Second World War display put on by students at the local high school. I had no idea he had done such a thing!

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    1. I love letters to the editor that are observations rather than soapboxes
      To be able in this day to offer a first hand reference as to his thoughts is a wonderful contribution

      Can you send it to dale and have him post it?

      We ought to start a site where we can send stuff without having to involve dale , he might have a life planned on Father’s Day weekend

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      1. Here is what he wrote:

        Having recently become a resident of Dickinson, I am living with my daughter due to my wife’s death, I had the pleasure of attending the World War II exhibit at Dickinson High School. I was impressed.

        I am a former Air Force crew member of B-17 bomber and made 17 missions over France and Germany. My father was a combat veteran of World War I. I flew with the Eighth Air Force from 1942-1945.

        The students did a fine job and their deportment was excellent. It brought back a lot of memories.

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        2. Good for him, Renee!
          The man who would have been my uncle piloted B-17 over France, eventually lost his life near St. Nazaire. I know it’s a long shot, but wouldn’t it be something if they knew each other? His name was Jay R. Sterling.

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  4. Wonderful writing Renee. Glad you have made the transition work for you and your dad. With chocolate, beer and Radio Heartland, I think I’d be pretty content, too. Alas, most of the jokes coming to mind are a bit off color…but only a bit. Here is one that is better if you can hear the Scandihoovian accent in your head:

    It was the morning of Ole and Lena’s wedding anniversary. They had decided to relive a bit of their honeymoon and have breakfast in the buff. Lena made up breakfast and called for Ole when it was ready. Ole came into the kitchen where Lena was sitting with their breakfast ready and waiting and Lena exclaimed, “Oh Ole – after all these years, seeing you in the nude still gives me a varm feeling in my breast.” To which Ole replied, “vell, dat’s because you have one hanging in you coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”

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  5. Good morning. Here is a story I found in a book when I was looking for stories to tell at farm meetings.

    Two farmers were up on a barn roof when a big storm came up quickly. The ladder that they were using was blown over. They didn’t have a good way to get off the roof. One of them decided that they could get off the roof by jumping into a manure pile that was next to the side of the barn and he jumped into the pile.

    The pile was very close to the barn making it impossible for the second farmer to see the landing made by the first farmer so he called down to the find out what happened. He was told that it was okay by the other farmer because he only went in up to his ankles.

    The second farmer jump and ended up buried up to his neck in manure. He asked why he was told that he would only go in up to his ankles. Well, said the first farmer, I went in head first.

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  6. Nice piece, Renee, and a lovely tribute to your dad. Sounds like he has settled in nicely.

    Am a little pressed for time this morning, so will have come back later with a joke.

    OT – Saw my first Green Line train full of passengers in downtown St. Paul this morning. People in raincoats, carrying umbrellas everywhere. Farmers’ Market busy despite the weather, parking a major pain in the butt.

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  7. ole sven and gunnar were all coming to america together and they agreed to meet back in the same spot in 5 yrears to tell what they found.
    in 5 years they met and ole says” ya the first thing is you dig out the hole for the out house deep enought to last quite a while., he says i dug for three days and then i pushed the out house over the hole and i went in and used it and as i sat down i counted 1 , 2 , 3 and then it heard it hit and i knew i was good for at least 2 or 3 years….
    oh yah say sven you can tell we are form the same cloth. the first thing i did was to dig the hole and i dug for a week steady and when i went to push the out house over and counted i got to 6 and knew i was i good shape too.
    well gunnar smiled and looked over his eyeglasses and said… well we are all the same when it comes to first things first. he says i dug that hole until i was sure i would never have to move that outhouse as long as i lived there and when i went in i started counting an i wa s at 1…2…3… and when i got to 23 i became suspicious… i got up to take a look and by gosh it was caught in my suspentders…

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  8. Wonderful post and picture, Renee.

    The only reason that cat is not inducing more guilt than the terrier is because he is sitting behind, where your dad can’t see him.

    My people are Prussians, we do not joke.

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  9. Delightful post, Renee.

    Before I share a joke, let me tell you something about my dad. He was quite the jokester and was known for his wacky sense of humor. Sven and Ole jokes were some of his favorites. Well, in his last days, he was in hospice and had been unconscious for a few days. Then one of my sister’s friends showed up and told my dad a Sven and Ole joke. Those of us in the room all laughed at the joke – and my dad joined in. At first, I wasn’t sure if he was having trouble breathing (it sounded like very loud gasping), but then I was pretty sure that either he recognized that H. was telling a joke or just heard the laughter and that made him laugh with us.

    Here’s a joke:

    Ole, Sven, and Lena were ice fishing on a lake in Nordern Minnesota. It vas early vinter and da lake had yust froze over. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some smokes. She asked him for some money, but he told her, “Nah, yust put it on our tab.”

    So Lena valked across the ice to get the smokes at da yeneral store. When she reached da shore, Sven said, “Ole, I know you got some money in your pocket, why didn’t you yust give Lena some money for the smokes?”

    Ole replied, “Vell, I didn’t vant to send her out dere vit some money ven I vasn’t sure how tick the ice vas yet.”

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    2. I can’t either; I looked up the one I shared. I had heard a slightly different version of the one I found, so I tweaked it a bit to more closely resemble the one I sort of remembered.

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  11. This is a great post, Renee – I love hearing details about your transition.

    Sorry for the length, but here’s my favorite Norwegian joke:
    One dark night outside a small Minnesota town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
    When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact.” But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
    Soon, more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company’s secret files.
    From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company, composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone’s amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the sleek newer engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down, it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
    Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norse old timers jumped off right into the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old Norwegians had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
    The grateful company president announced that for such a superhuman feat, he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters. The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”
    “Vell,” said Ole Oleson, the 70-year-old fire chief, “Da first ting ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat f***ing truck!”

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  12. A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

    “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

    “How about $50?”

    The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

    “You’re finished already?” he asked.

    “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

    “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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  13. In honor of Father’s Day tomorrow, here’s another:

    An old father living alone in the country wanted to plant his pepper garden, but the ground was too hard and he was too old to do the digging. His only son, who used to help him, was in prison for robbing a bank. The old man wrote a letter to his son: “Dear Jake, I’ve been very depressed lately because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my peppers this year. You know how much your mother loved planting peppers, but I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here you would do it for me. but since you’re not, I don’t think I’ll have a garden this year. Love, Dad.”

    A few days later he received a letter from his son: “Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that garden! That’s where I buried the THINGS! Love, Jake.”

    At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area looking for the THINGS.. After not finding anything they apologized to the old man and left. The following day the old man received another letter from his son. “Dear Dad, Happy Fathers Day! Go ahead and plant your peppers now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Jake.”

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  14. My Dad stayed with us after my mother died. His health was failing and he was not able to be very active. We were glad to have him with us. He did his best to be a good guest in our home.

    During that time he continued to keep himself occupied recording the answers to the clues for entries in crossword puzzles in his effort to created a crossword dictionary. He purchased a computer while he was living with us and worked on computerizing his dictionary.

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  15. Ole and Lena went to a divorce attorney.
    “Ve vant to get a divorce”, said Lena.
    “Ya”, agreed Ole.
    ” How long have the two of you been married?” Asked the attorney.
    “Seventy-two years”, replied Ole.
    The attorney, puzzled, asked, “After seventy-two years of marriage, what made you decide to get divorced now?”
    ” Vell”, said Ole, “Ve vanted to vait until the children vere dead.”

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  21. Ole, What’s that thing around your neck?
    It’s my elephant repellant, Sven.
    Ole, you old fool; there aren’t any elephants around here!
    See how well it works?

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  22. Took the Green Line to Prospect Park today. Lovely day for it.

    I don’t know many jokes. This one’s not a joke, really, just a one-liner –

    If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting.

    – Jack Handey

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