Today’s post comes from Bart, the bear who found a smart phone.
H’lo, Bart here.
Last time I posted I saw in the comments (yes, I read the comments!) where it was disputed that a smart phone found by a bear in the woods would be working this long, what with batteries wearing out and stuff.
Good questions. But it’s not that difficult for a bear to get a smart phone whenever he needs one.
As a rule, people should have all their senses turned “on” while out in nature. I am part of nature itself, so I can guarantee that we wild creatures are very alert!
So if you’re a bear who wants a smart phone, all you have to do is wait very patiently for a distracted hiker to come near. Usually it’s pretty easy, especially if they’re hiking & texting. When they’re about 15 feet away, step out of the brush and roar a bit.
The hiker stops.
If you’re a human, all the guide books say at this point you’re supposed to back away slowly, not turning around for fear I’ll chase you. Whatever you do, the books urge, don’t run.
This is good advice, because I do like to chase down running things.
But more and more these days, people don’t do either. Instead, they very slowly lift the phone up to take a picture of me. It kinda makes sense because they’re on social media already. When something special happens to you, you post it right away.
So I wait for them to lift up the phone and fumble for the camera app.
When I sense they’re about to click the shutter, I charge!
Most times, the hiker drops the thing and runs, and ta da! I have a new smart phone!
I also have a pretty cool collection of pictures of me, charging. That’s how it goes in the digital age. Just about anything can be captured and distributed, though I’m guessing those hikers weren’t expecting to share their phones with me in exactly this way.
But then social media has just been declared misleading when it comes to showing your real-life experiences and values.
Big surprise there! I know there are a lot of smart-phone holding bears in these woods who feel their lives are pretty dull when they see all the neat photos I have of the backsides of running hikers!
Yes, my life IS that good! Read it and weep, suckers!
Do you believe what you see, read and hear on social media?