Complicated Relationship

Yesterday was the day of the annual Winter Solstice.  From now on the days slowly lengthen – until they begin to shrink again.  This on-again, off-again type of relationship has led to many angry/needy notes like the one I’ve just written to The Sun.  

 

So I get this feeling that things are warming up again between us.

Am I wrong? I don’t think so. You’re coming back, aren’t you?

Well don’t.

And don’t say you haven’t changed. Change is all I get from you. Last summer … well let’s just say June 15 was pretty special. Not going to forget that soon.

But I can’t count on you. Just weeks before that I felt so frozen and hurt.   You could have warmed me then but where were you? Behind a cloud all day? What does that even mean?   In what kind of relationship do you get to do that and it’s OK?

And it’s like this every year. You get closer and the intensity is overwhelming.  Then you fade. It’s like I hardly see you. And then it seems like you’re hanging around a few more minutes each day until you’re always here and I can’t get any sleep because there is So Much You.

And as soon as I start basking in that, I can sense you turning away.

This is getting old. Like billions of years old.   Make up your mind – do you want to be close or distant?

And don’t say I’m the one who’s all tilted and elliptical and orbity.   That’s a cop-out. I know for a fact that you wobble. And I don’t think it’s me that makes you do it.

I turn to you every day and some days you are just not available. But still I turn to you again the next day and the next so tell me who’s steady and reliable.

When it comes to temperament, only one of us has spots. Only one of us has flares. And only one of us can give the other one a stroke.

So now you’re coming back and I’m supposed to be all happy but get over yourself because I already know how this turns out.   So don’t waste your time and mine trying to heat things up if you’re just going to leave again in six months.

I can live without you … Is a lie that I tell myself every year. But this time around I am not going to get burned by you.  I bought a hat.

How do I look?

Your forever,
I’m Still Angry

So what’s up with you and the sun?   

 

43 thoughts on “Complicated Relationship”

  1. I am a sun guy. I don’t get sadd when the sun goes behind the clouds for weeks in December but I sure do appreciate it when its here.
    I have always been a sun receptive person. I get one quick burn in the spring and then tan up with no problem. I am irish indian polish so I have fair skin but tanning skin with a little oil built in so I am a sun tanning machine.
    I am glad we turned the corner. I like days longer because I wake up with the sun and have to do it without the sun for a couple weeks this time of year every year.

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  2. While I deeply appreciate the Vitamin D the sun helps foster in my system and I am in awe of the colors in nature that are created by light reflection and refraction from the sun, I can’t say that the sun and I are besties. A little sun directly on my skin goes a long way. I come from reticent Scandinavian stock – we are bred for efficiency with regard to the sun: too much and we turn all red and blotchy, a little bit over several days and we have enough Vitamin D to get us through even the coldest day in January. (Though lack of Vitamin D and the depression it can bring with it might explain why my ancestors decided that mixing food with lye was a good idea…)

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Rise and Sunshine Baboons!

    I love light and sunshine–but the heat it produces–not so much. When we were in Bergen last Spring they were glorying in the perfect weather, defined as a high of 65 degrees and sunny all day. I found my weather people there in Norway. I don’t sunburn much in the sun, but I overheat terribly.

    The grey glop we are enduring now–yuck.

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  4. Morning all. I have a friend who has full-out SAD (prescriptions, big UV light on the wall in her den, etc.) so I can say with certainty that I don’t have any of those issues, but I will say that the weather we’ve experienced the last week or so is the weather that drove me to move away from St. Louis at the first opportunity available!

    I travel to places where they don’t have winter and while it is glorious for a few days, I don’t think I would like it long term; give me change of seasons every year, including seeing the sun every now and then!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m with you on the seasons, Sherillee.

      But I do love a bitter cold sunny day when the snow squeaks when you walk on it.

      The weather we are having now is what they get in DC. all. winter. long.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Those of us who take pride in loving steadily are doomed to be anguished by how much those whose love is inconstant are rewarded for something that deserves censure. Those whose affections are “now you see it, woops, now you don’t” will usually get away with everything. Steady love should be rewarded, shouldn’t it? Instead it is taken for granted. Sigh. That’s just the way of the world. It’s right there in the bible in the parable of the prodigal son. Steady lovers need to join a tougher union, one that looks out for them better.

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  6. LIke Anna, I don’t tan. I just turn red, then revert back to pasty white (or porcelain bisque, as I like to call it). I enjoy cloudy weather in December. It just seems appropriate with the Solstice.

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  7. Well, I am confused. I thought that the woman we sold my parents’ condo to was my mom’s cousin. She isn’t. She is the sister-in-law of my mom’s cousin and both women have the same name! Mom’s cousin died in July. I thought I had seen her obit in the Luverne paper. Talk about complicated relationships.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Well done, Dale! I was really with you all the way reading through that letter – talk about unrequited love!

    I’m usually fine with whatever the sun is doing, but this week is getting to be a bit much – or actually a bit too little. I do notice that I want light when indoors, lots of it, and I hate having electric lights on in the daytime. So (I’m just realizing!) part of my re-arranging furniture is to get maximum window power for whatever is currentlymy favorite chair or project table. High on priority when house hunting will be “light and airy.”

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    1. BiR, this is where the Danish concept of “hygge” comes in. We have lots of dreary days like this in Denmark (and the rest of Scandinavia too). We can’t change the weather (I guess we are changing the climate, but that’s a topic for another day) so we light candles – lots of them. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and afternoon tea or coffee are candlelit affairs. I love the cozy feeling of it. Heat up the house and fill it with aromas of cookies baking in the oven. A pot of water with a few sprigs of fir, some orange peel and perhaps a cinnamon stick gently simmering on the stove will add a delightful fragrance as well. It’s really a time to hunker down with a good book.

      Liked by 4 people

  9. A couple weeks ago, there was a bright, sunny Saturday. I let my new chickens out of their pen for the first time that day. And I took some photos for my photography class and it was just a lovely day.
    Ever since, the chickens have been trying to figure out what that was and why don’t I give it to them anymore.
    And the photography class turned into an exposition on browns…

    But you know, ‘Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder’. We do appreciate it more when it’s been gone a while. Spring is that much sweeter, is it not?

    My lovely bride needs the sun; she has some SAD and has the light therapy unit. I miss being outside as much as I was when I was farming. I need to get outside during the day. Even if just to stand out there and get cold or wet for a few minutes… gotta get some sunshine and see what the weather is doing.

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    1. One reason I like outdoor ice skating is that it gives me an excuse to stand and face the sun for a bit on cold days. The big rink at the park by our house is unencumbered by trees, so I can go there of a January afternoon and get my dose of sunshine. Plus, I love the sound of skate blades on ice.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. l find myself surprised here – usually it’s me who interprets Dale’s stories literally, but l took an allegorical view of this one. l was struck by the parallels between relationship struggles and the weather. lt was just brilliant !! But then, l’ve know a person who named every tree in a familiar forest near his home and had great relationships with each and every one of them.

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  11. FM and the sun do not coexist well. Sandy with her lupus must to stay out of the sun.
    My daughter drove the kids on a surprise visit to the vet to get a kitten.
    I just crushed cardamom.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Allow me an OT. As you all know, Hans and I visited a friend in prison in Ohio in November. During that visit, the subject of his daughter came up. He has not had contact with her since she was 13 years old. He and the girl’s mother were divorced when she was 3.

    We managed to find her – via Facebook – and have contacted her. Today we received and email from her thanking us for tracking her down. She’s now the mother of a 9 month old baby, and will be writing to her dad. She was excited to learn that there are people who think highly of him. He’ll be over the moon when he receives her letter. The best Christmas present we could have ever received.

    Liked by 6 people

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