Yesterday was the day of the annual Winter Solstice. From now on the days slowly lengthen – until they begin to shrink again. This on-again, off-again type of relationship has led to many angry/needy notes like the one I’ve just written to The Sun.
So I get this feeling that things are warming up again between us.
Am I wrong? I don’t think so. You’re coming back, aren’t you?
And don’t say you haven’t changed. Change is all I get from you. Last summer … well let’s just say June 15 was pretty special. Not going to forget that soon.
But I can’t count on you. Just weeks before that I felt so frozen and hurt. You could have warmed me then but where were you? Behind a cloud all day? What does that even mean? In what kind of relationship do you get to do that and it’s OK?
And it’s like this every year. You get closer and the intensity is overwhelming. Then you fade. It’s like I hardly see you. And then it seems like you’re hanging around a few more minutes each day until you’re always here and I can’t get any sleep because there is So Much You.
And as soon as I start basking in that, I can sense you turning away.
This is getting old. Like billions of years old. Make up your mind – do you want to be close or distant?
And don’t say I’m the one who’s all tilted and elliptical and orbity. That’s a cop-out. I know for a fact that you wobble. And I don’t think it’s me that makes you do it.
I turn to you every day and some days you are just not available. But still I turn to you again the next day and the next so tell me who’s steady and reliable.
When it comes to temperament, only one of us has spots. Only one of us has flares. And only one of us can give the other one a stroke.
So now you’re coming back and I’m supposed to be all happy but get over yourself because I already know how this turns out. So don’t waste your time and mine trying to heat things up if you’re just going to leave again in six months.
I can live without you … Is a lie that I tell myself every year. But this time around I am not going to get burned by you. I bought a hat.
How do I look?
I’m Still Angry
So what’s up with you and the sun?