Cowards Pass On Offer

Today’s post comes from Bart, the bear who found a smart phone in the woods.


Bart here, fading in and out of that wintertime state of torpor otherwise known as “hibernation”.

I’m not too excited about being awake right now, but as long as I’m up I do have a bone to pick with the people who make a big fuss over Groundhog Day.

Last year I said Groundhog Day could be lots more interesting if they made a big show out of rousting a bear to find out how much longer winter would last.

But nobody took me up on it. Yesterday came and went without even a knock on my door. Not that I have an actual door in my den, but you know what I mean. I waited around all morning hoping to be poked with a stick, but nothing happened.

Instead, all the coverage went to that stupid groundhog. Again.

So no, I’m not impressed that P. Phil “saw” his shadow. Casting a shadow is not a big deal in the animal world. Almost everybody can do it.

Rousting a bear would be much more active than waking a groundhog, and I can do a lot more than blink my eyes in the February sunshine. But I realize the whole groundhog thing is built around old fashioned “folk wisdom”, so I made up a little rhyme to get the bear rousting tradition going.

Wake a bear while he is nappin’
and he can tell you what will happen.

If he stomps upon your torso
spring’s delayed six weeks or moreso

If he bites you on your shoulder
March and April will be colder

But if he licks you on your face,
Spring will hurry here, apace.

Nice use of “apace,” eh? That’s Shakespeare.  Let’s see a groundhog do that!

Your pal,

Share your favorite bit of folk wisdom.

60 thoughts on “Cowards Pass On Offer”

  1. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    My very diligent grandmother was full of these. When trying to get us to help her with anything, it was “Many hands make light work.”

    When viewing a hole in a the knee of jeans or a sock it was, “A stitch in time saves nine.”

    While we baked cookies together she would answer my question, “Grandma, should I grease the cookie sheet?” with, “Any cookie that can’t grease its own butt, ain’t worth baking.”

    And when it came to flavoring food, her answer was, “Everything tastes better with a cup a sugar and a cup of cream.”

    I love remembering her saying these things. However my favorite folk ditty is in cross stitch, hung on the wall of my porch, framed by an old horse yoke which came from the farm where my dad was raised:

    “Who plants the seed
    Beneath the sod
    And waits to see
    Believes in God.”

    Liked by 6 people

  2. We run our gardening life by these.

    You all already know about planting the potatoes on Good Friday.

    But I also cannot and will not pick rhubarb after the 4th of July.

    My great-grandmother always planted at least 2 of everything as well.


      1. Lisa, I recall a discussion of the wisdom of the Good Friday potatoes last year, as it seemed early and too cold.

        I ended up getting them in late :(.

        That will teach me to question the wisdom of people who actually had to survive on their garden.


  3. My mother had two she would play off each other.
    One bad apple doesn’t spoil the bushel. And. One bad drop spoils the cream.


  4. Darn IPad.
    Know on which side you bread is buttered. Now the shoe is on the other foot. Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. Everything I like is illegal, immoral, or fattening.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. These from our Arikara friend-
    See a raven, cold weather and snow are coming.

    The higher the nests in the trees in the draw, the deeper the snow will be in the winter.


  6. My favorite is this wartime credo:

    Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without

    I need to do a cross-stitch sampler of that and hang it over the recycling bin…

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I just saw this news yesterday. Apparently she wrote it BEFORE Mockingbird. I’m 205 on the request list at the library!


  7. times have changed. her story was beautiful. does anyone still care about beautiful?
    maybe the super bowl commercials appealing to our sense of positive aspects of life make it possible to think people are capable of caring as a mass ensemble. id like to think so and hope harper lees book goes there.


  8. (I probably already shared this one) Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end of the roll, the faster it goes. l really wish l’d never heard this one as come things are better left unsaid.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Leave no torpid bear unturned.
    Bart is worse than his byte.
    Don’t let one paw know what the other paw is stealing.
    A bear in the hand is worse than two in the bush.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Bart and his shadow
    Lumbering down the forest lane
    Bart and his shadow
    Babooners to tell his troubles to

    And when it’s spring o’clock
    He climbs outside
    Up from the rocks
    Groundhogs to scare

    Just Bart and his shadow
    All alone and feelin’ blue

    And when it’s spring o’clock
    A forecast to make
    His torpor unlocked
    To steal ‘nother phone

    Just Bart and his shadow
    All alone and feelin’ blue

    Liked by 3 people

  11. When someone says “So?” I say ‘Sew buttons on a balloon; you’ll get a bang out of it.’
    They say ‘Hey’, I say ‘Straw is cheaper, grass if free. Buy a farm and you’ll get all three.
    They say ‘I See’. I say ‘Said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.’

    When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

    An elephant for a quarter isn’t a bargain if you don’t need an elephant.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Only pick up the heads up change you find on the ground.
    The tails up coins are bad luck.

    No idea where I got that, but somewhere in my gypsy theatre days.


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