Ask Dr. Babooner

We are ALL Dr. Babooner

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I bet pretty much all my life savings on the three principal names I thought Britain’s Royal couple would give their new daughter. In my defense, it felt like I was really on to something when I entered the office pool with  “Mayweather Tesla Skywalker”.

A lot of people were trying to second-guess William and Catherine on this, analyzing their public statements and debating each other on Facebook to get some kind of a crucial advantage in knowing which way the couple leaned, baby name-wise.

But Wills and Kate are my favorite royals precisely because they’re so normal.  I figure they’re probably thinking about the same things I am most of the time, so I went with my gut, which was totally wrapped up in the big fight on Saturday night between Floyd and Manny.

I knew that everybody else knew that Mayweather was going to win, so why gamble on that when I could go All In on something that had a much higher chance of delivering a mammoth payoff?

Imagine my surprise when they came up with Charlotte Elizabeth Diana – a totally predictable and profoundly uninspiring choice.

For my money, “Princess Mayweather” is very British-sounding and would have become a much-beloved name.   Much more beloved than Princess Floyd, Princess Paquiao, or Princess Manny, which were some of my other choices.

Now all my money’s gone, but if that bet had come in, I’d be richer than everyone.  No exceptions!

Dr. Babooner, why can’t dreams come true?

Long Shot

I told “Long Shot” there’s a distinct difference between investing in a genuine dream and throwing away your life savings on some crazy idea you pulled out of a dark crevice.

A dream is inspirational, especially if it includes an element of self-betterment and rises out of a desire to improve the world. But guessing that the royals would decide to call their daughter ‘Mayweather Tesla Skywalker” is flat-out crazy.

But it’s better that you were parted from your cash in this picturesque way. At least you got a good story out of it, and you were going to lose that money anyhow. It was simply a matter of time.

But that’s just on opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

38 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Dear Long Shot:
    I feel your pain. My money was on Princess Buttercup. Your mistake was betting all you had. Never do that with gambling. Only bet what you can afford to lose as you WILL surely lose. I only lost a few quid on the name game but made that back betting a bundle on American Pharaoh. I suggest making an internet appeal for funds to bet on the Preakness. Take A.P. Good Luck

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The problem with your system, Wes, is that you bet on horses with speedy names. But if you bet on horses with zippy names you don’t get a big payback if you win. You gotta bet $12 to win $10 when you plunk your money down on American Pharaoh. Your payback is much better if you only bet on horses with names like “January Molasses” or “Glue Factory.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wrong, Steve. Everybody knows that it’s sheer folly to bet on a horse based on its name. You bet based on the colors of the silks. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I bet on only one horse race each year, The Derby. I wish you the best of luck at the Preakness, wessew. Do you actually go to the race?

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I think that Princess Manny has a nice ring to it. Sorry you lost. What ever gave you the idea that gambling was an ok thing to do? You would have been much better off and far healthier gamboling instead. I wonder what the Royals will call little Charlotte for short? Char? Lottie? Charley? Not many options for the poor little tyke.


    1. Whatever her parents call her, the British pulp journalists are sure to prefer something akin to “Char Char” or “Lottie.” The hack journalists who cover the Royals have a fatal attraction to chummy, low-class names. They insist on calling William “Wills” although it is widely know this drives him into a nutty, foam-at-the-mouth rage.


  3. Good morning. My mother was raised to look upon betting as immoral. However, she didn’t except me to take that position on betting although she certainly didn’t want me to bet on anything. My Dad was very thrifty which translated to having no interest in risking the loss of money by betting. Due to the way I was raised, I believe I am not the right person to offer anyone advice about betting. If you want to engage in betting of any kind, that is up to you. I almost never do any betting.


    1. Lena, Meta Bertha, Greta, Dorothea,Tillie, Margaret, All good German names. Friesland names are plain weird, like Hilke, Harmanna, and Gieske.


  4. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    I was hoping for a Native American naming thing here: Princess Born with a Silver Spoon or Princess Doesn’t Look Like a British Royal or Princess Don’t Embarrass the Queen. A name filled with descriptive expectations. But alas, no.

    After all this Geneology I have done over the last 18 months, I have been amazed and appalled by the names in the family tree. You can see the waves of American history sweep over the chosen names:

    Puritans: Generations of Hannah, Eleazer, Ichabod (yes, folks I have ancestors named Ichabod!), Elizabeth, Prudence,…

    Quakers: Joseph, Daniel, Mark, Mary, Mary, Mary, Susan, Matthew, Andrew, and Mary

    Post Revolutionary War: George Washington Surname

    Post Civil War: Abraham ( one generation only)

    1980: All boys were named Jason or Christopher All girls were Jenny

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We were at a pow wow a couple of years of ago where an very old man named Edwin Benson a was being honored as the last speaker of the Mandan language. He had linguists and such folk following him around and recording his utterances and he also taught Mandan in the Twin Buttes Elementary school. He was being honored at the pow wow with a new name, one he took to honor his own father’s work for, and cooperation with white people in the early 1900’s. The name translated as “White Man’s Fart”, which I guess is as close to “Brown Nose” as you can get in the Mandan language. He thought it was pretty funny,

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Renee, many native American tribes enjoyed earthy humor. I fished a lake in Ontario once that had two outlets (and no stream coming in). The Indian name for it translates as “Two Assholes Lake.”


    2. I have an ancestor named Wilzue. For some reason that name cracks me up. Looking through the stuff my mom gave me, I also see a George Washington (Washington is the middle name, not the surname), a Zenas, an Experience, and a Prince.


  5. Dear Long Shot,
    I’ll have to agree with wessew that your mistake was betting more than you could afford to lose. I see nothing wrong with the occasional wager, or buying a lottery ticket every now and again.

    Personally, I’ve participated in every office basketball, baseball, and fantasy football pool I ever encountered. Not because I knew the slightest about any of the participants, but simply to be part of the excitement. One year I actually won the basketball pool because I had picked an unlikely winner, much to the chagrin of all of the experts in the office. So dreams do come true.

    I’ll admit that I have a hard time grasping all the excitement around the naming of a princess fourth in line to the British crown, but that’s just me.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Most especially the Royals. My guilty pleasure (beside any Housewives series) if People Magazine. Every third mag has the new Royal couple or their son plastered across the cover. Bores me.


  6. Morning all. I’ve had a computer-free few days – I love spring/summer weekends. And then yesterday no power for a chunk of the day!

    First off, I think having so few choices to name your kid stinks – yet one more reason I would run screaming from anyone who wanted to make me a royal.

    Second off, I’m too cheap to gamble. Whenever an opportunity arises, I can’t help but think what the wagered money could purchase and then that’s it. Lottery ticket vs. milk? Milk wins every time!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Many of our American Indian friends have a couple of names they go by depending on where they are and how well you know them. Cissy and Esther, for example, are the same person, Esther being her formal name and Cissy her familiar name.


    1. Here is one guess about that, Renee. If your society has a strong basis in law, each person needs a single name so they can be held accountable for their acts. If your society has a strong basis in relationships, two names work better because it is easier to have the right name for different relationships.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. The Pueblo cultures, like Navaho, make a major issue of names: legal, cultural, secret. I find all that rather appealing. I would like to have a secret name and change my name, not my legal name, every decade or so to fit my stage in life.


  8. A dream is inspirational, especially if it includes an element of self-betterment and rises out of a desire to improve the world. But guessing that the royals would decide to call their daughter ‘Mayweather Tesla Skywalker” is flat-out crazy.

    quite a little philosophical flair there doc. im proud of you. self betterment is not something i picked up on as a priority of your previously. good for you you hairy old june cleaver pearl wearing twin.

    i think the royals did fine. charlotte for charles ok
    elizabeth. they may want to push this royal thing as long as they can. one of these days the brits are going to wake up and smell the earl gray and ut these guys on food stamps seeing as they have no marketable skills other than waving and hat wearing. dianah is for charachter building. charles and anti charles in the same name. the kid will be screwed up so we may as well start from birth. all bavies look like winston churchill to me and this one is ano different. maybe a little higher on the cute scale but im not a cutsey wootsie baby kind of guy. send her over to give back ireland to the irish and ill be a fan then. pomp and circumstance is all they have left in jolly old england since the royal navey lost control of the universe 200 years ago. that and a history that should be phrased carefully. bully for you char. long live the queen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. With the longevity genes in that family, tim, she’ll never get anywhere near being queen.

      Recently there was a big brouhaha in Denmark involving Queen Margrethe. She had invited the press to a conference at Amalienborg, the palace where the Danish queen lives (I forget the occasion). One of the young up-start journalists was asking a question – a very leading one, I’ll admit – and had the audacity to address the Queen as “du” (the informal “De” or you. She interrupted him – curtly – and said “Excuse me, I don’t recall us ever being classmates. I don’t think we’re ‘dus.'” Her whole demeanor and condescending smile spoke volumes.

      The Danish royals are consistently presented by the press as being “ordinary” people, but they clearly perceive themselves as folks of a certain privilege. And they certainly are snobs of the first order. In that single incident she managed to ratchet up the already vigorous debate about whether the monarchy is an anachronism and should be abolished.

      Queen Margrethe has always been very popular, but I don’t think she did herself or the case for maintaining the monarchy any favors on that occasion.

      Liked by 1 person

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