Today’s post comes from Renee in North Dakota
My husband occupied the office next to mine for 10 years. It was nice to be so close and to have someone to talk to. I hit the jackpot, though, when they moved my coworker, Janelle, into husband’s office after he retired. She is a Developmental Disabilities Program Manager and is a few years younger than I am. Our children are about the same ages. Her job involves making certain that people with developmental disabilities get the services they need, and that their service providers get paid. She is a local, and grew up with six older brothers on a farm between Gladstone and Lefor, both pretty small communities about 10 miles from Dickinson noted for their German-Russian and German-Hungarian settlers. She has a very loud giggle, and she giggles and laughs most of the time. She is very energetic, despite having MS and a heart condition. I believe she has ADHD. She is also one of the funniest and most irreverent and foul mouthed persons I know. Everyone in her family calls her Toots.
Janelle has a way of noticing the comic and absurd all around her and is a great story teller. She is also very good at imitating the German patois of her neighbors and older relatives (“Ya, that Jakey Frank died. He just woke up dead one morning”.) Her mother (aka Crabby Lavonne) is in the nursing home, and the other day she was visiting her mom when her Aunt Rose, also a resident, came charging down the hallway, waving her cane around. Aunt Rose exclaimed “I am DEEsgusted”. “Why Aunt Rose, what is the matter?” “Dos dem kids anyway (the PT’s and OT’s). They eggspect me to jump around. I am too olt for dat!” Janelle then asked her aunt if she wanted to sit down. Janelle’s mom then piped in and said to her “You dumb ass! Don’t you know that when Rose is DEEsgustetd she doesn’t want any help”.
A few days ago Janelle and her husband were driving around out in the country near Gladstone looking at some land to buy, when she found that she had to pee. She asked her husband to drive up a fairly deserted road to a place she knew where she could relieve herself and no one could see. To her dismay, she found that someone had put a mobile home up on the very spot, They were near the Catholic Cemetery, so she asked her husband to drive there. She did her business, and walked the dog around and visited all the family graves, leaving only two small tissues as evidence for what she had done.
Later that night, someone went to the cemetery and vandalized head stones with hammers and knocked over other head stones. Janelle was both horrified and delighted, horrified at the damage and delighted by the fact that she had left tons of DNA for the police to find and pin the vandalism on her. She is friends with several police officers and I am sure they are all going to hear her “confession”. I told her I would start baking pans of Scotcheroos to sell to raise money to bail her out of jail..
Janelle is a day brightener for me. I just wish I could convey better her essence, her bounce, and her liveliness.
What happened when you couldn’t hold it any longer?