I made broth last weekend. It is the Brodo recipe from The Splendid Table with 9 lbs of turkey wings and 3 lbs of beef bones. It simmers for 14 hours. It produces a couple of gallons of golden brown goodness. We use it all the time, so we try to always have some on hand. We consider ourselves rich as we put the broth containers in the freeze “This is wealth”, we say. Who needs more things when you have broth?
We have much to be thankful for besides homemade broth. We feel especially rich in good friends, good coworkers, and in our community as a whole. In this season of rampant consumerism, I think it is good to consider all the things that contribute richness to our lives.
What makes your life a richer, more satisfying one?
Much of my clinical work lately has been helping parents set limits with their children and take control of their homes. It is interesting how some parents have the knack, and others do not. Many have tried spanking and harsh punishments and threats, and find they don’t work. Others have just given up, and let their children run wild. I was a particularly well-behaved child, and my parents never spanked or yelled or used fear or intimidation. I need to think more on how they did it. This is not a new problem. I think every generation complains that children are getting worse and worse, and try innovative ways to get their children to behave. Many of these ways involve trying to scare children into good behavior, especially in December. So, take heed, naughty Baboons. Tonight is Krampusnacht!!
The Krampus is a Bavarian, Austrian, and central European figure who is said to visit homes on the Night of December 5. He was invoked to scare children into good behavior. He is hideous, with horns, and has a basket in which he carries away naughty children to eat them, drown them, or take them to Hell. The picture below is an example of a Krampus Card from the 19th century. Notice that it is the boy who is naughty and the girl who is good. I think this perpetuates stereotypes.
I had never heard of Krampus until recently. They aren’t characters from northern Germany, where my family comes from. My mother told me that that the Christ child would bring the presents when they were at church on Christmas eve. How mild and comforting is that! (If any of you haven’t read David Sedaris’ 6-8 Black Men, you need to read it.) Krampus parades are quite popular in Austria. You can see how terrifying they are in the video clip.
Belsnickel is another German character from Christmas who sort of combines St. Nick with the Krampus. He was dressed in rags and fur, and carried a switch as well as a bag of goodies. He arrived 1–2 weeks before Christmas, and he knew exactly which of the children had been naughty during the year. He knocked on the door or window with his stick and the children either answered a question for him or sang some type of song. In exchange, he tossed candies onto the floor. If the children jumped too quickly for the treats, they would end up getting struck with Belsnickel’s switch. He orginated in south-west Germany, and was brought to the US by German immigrants to Pennsylvania and Indiana.
It doesn’t seem that Europeans were the only ones who had trouble getting children to behave. I found this photo of Japanese folklore characters called Namehage, who go from house to house carrying knives on New Year’s Eve and ask if there are any naughty children inside. They are not that different than Krampus. They give the children lectures on how to behave. I find them pretty scary. I find it even more interesting that they, too, come out at the same time in winter as Santa Claus, Krampus, and Belsnickel. Why? What is so significant about that that time of year?
Scaring children into good behavior doesn’t work, especially if the scary characters only arrive in December. I find that structure, consistency, parents getting off their phones, natural consequences, and positive praise work very well. Daughter asked me yesterday “Do you remember when you cancelled my birthday party when I got a C on a test when I was in Grade 5?” There is a lot more to that story, but I told her that was unnecessarily harsh, and I know better ways to handle that now. When will we ever learn?
What scared you as a child? What is your parenting philosophy? How did your parents discipline? Did you worry that Santa might bring you coal?
I gave a lunchtime talk yesterday for our acute care department on how to treat separation anxiety in children. My agency is severely understaffed for all sorts of therapists, and I am the only one who knows how to work with children. We have an abundance of people seeking therapy for their children, and I can’t see all of them. I plan to retire in two years, and it doesn’t look promising to find a replacement for me who knows how to do child therapy. I need to make myself obsolete.
The dear folks in our acute care department are good social workers and counselors, but they are unaccountably terrified of treating children. They admit they are afraid of saying the wrong thing and ruining the child for life. That is irrational thinking on the staff’s part. I decided that I need to train as many of them as I can before I leave so that they can feel comfortable treating children, and so that children’s services can continue after I leave. Separation anxiety is really easy to treat if you know how, and I thought it was a good place to start. They enjoyed the talk today, and want to know about Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct disorder next month. I can hardly wait to give them the skinny on elimination disorders.
What would you like to teach people to do or to know about?
On my way to work on Friday I was deep in thought and suddenly looked up to see a police cruiser on the side of the road – I was going 37 instead of 30. I immediately took my foot off the gas, but as I looked into the rear view mirror, I saw the cruiser pulling away from the curb and the flashing lights starting up.
All kinds of thoughts went through my brain: I don’t want to pay for a ticket, I don’t want any points on my license, do red cars get more tickets, I’m going to be late for work, what if I cry when the officer comes to my window.
Luckily someone in the other lane just behind me must have been going a bit faster than I was when we passed the radar; the cop pulled the other car over. I feel like I dodged a bullet and I went the speed limit all the way to work after that.
Have you ever gotten a traffic ticket of any kind?
Well, today is December 1. How are your holiday preparations coming along? I was jolted out of complacency by two Christmas cards this week. Time to get busy!
Trail Baboon 