Tales of Woe

Last week I got bitten by a bee, on my bottom lip.  I felt the bee start to fly in my mouth (I’m sure that’s not where he/she meant to go) and I spit it out pretty quickly, but not before I got a mild sting.  No big swelling, no allergic reaction but it did hurt for a few days.  On Day 3, if I looked REALLY hard, I could see a teeny whitish blister.  Kinda.  Certainly no one else could see it, including YA.

Then on Monday, while hammering a nail in the bathroom, I missed the nail and whacked by left index finger something good.  I swore so loudly that I had to go apologize to the neighbors.  It really hurt.  No bruise, no blood under the fingernail.  Nothing except for the lingering soreness.

Now I don’t know about you but I think if you get hurt enough that it still hurts after a day or so, you should get a little bruise or a blister or something.  It doesn’t have to be some egregious wound, just a little badge of honor for your pain.

Have you ever received a trophy (or badge or prize)?

25 thoughts on “Tales of Woe”

  1. Rise and pin on your ribbons, Baboons,

    Come to think of it, I have received many awards, ribbons, and plaques. What I realized, recently, as I sorted through my stuff as part of the “Digitize Family History Project” —my COVID activity—is that I have received many such things, especially in High School and college. At the time, they never meant a lot to me, because nothing ever could override my mother’s disappointment in having such a child as me. Her need for perfection and approval, whatever that might be, was a burden that colored all else.

    I found in my stuff, many news clippings of activities, band medals and awards, letters notifying me of being on the Deans’ List (at Iowa State that was no small thing) and scholarships. I found my ACT scores in which I got the highest science and math grades in my class, and caused the counselor to accuse me of cheating. I did not.

    At this point in life, my most honorable badge is my cancer scars. I recovered only by medical intervention and grace. I cooperated with treatment, but after that it was up to my body to respond and recover as it would.

    All I can say is Thank You Body. You honored me by living.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Won some meaningless golf tournaments, a grade-school spelling bee, a raffle here and there, a few very minor book contest awards (mostly just semifinalist or finalist, only one “full” award. Those are also meaningless in the grand scheme of boosting sales or notoriety.

    The only two “awards” that mean anything to me are: ONE, the thank you letter sent to me by the brightest, most talent-laden student I ever taught who thanked me for inspiring him to reach beyond his small hometown and believe he could succeed at any college–which he did. Carnegie Mellon University. TWO, being told many times by my first Little Brother that I helped him open up his mind, see the world with a thoughtful, critical eye, think for himself, and get his act together so that now he’s got a stable situation with a good, steady job, a steady girlfriend, two daughters, a nice house that they are renting, and the fact that he’s looking to the future, making plans, taking responsibility, and overall being a responsible, caring adult father and man.

    Oh yes, almost forgot, I won the “marriage lottery” when my wife of 42 years said “yes.” Didn’t get a piece of hardware for that win, just the marriage certificate. 😉

    Chris in Owatonna

    Chris in Owatonna

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I was given awards twice, both of which were tainted.

    I once got a certificate of commendation for my efforts to help the International Wolf Center. The award was ironic. The staff of the center had preferred ways of doing things, many of which I regretted. I struggled for five or six years to bring about reforms. The staff continued exactly as before, ignoring my unwelcome suggestions. I suspect the certificate of commendation was a ploy to encourage me to shut up and go away. I have no hard feelings now, but I don’t treasure the award!

    I once won a writing contest. My reward was a dream fishing trip to the Florida Keys. It was a fascinating trip. I figured out that the fellow who headed a public relations office for a fishing tackle company put the contest together for his own benefit. He arranged for the prize to be the kind of trip he dreamed of taking, and then he did take it as the coordinator of the event. We had a good time.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. That reminds me of a writer I knew early in my time in advertising. He managed to convince the client that he had to go to Sherwood Forest to produce an ad for Robin Hood flour.

      Liked by 6 people

  4. During my el-hi years I won a spelling bee (no prize), a raffle, and several band/choir awards. Within the past 10 years I won two awards that were more substantial. One was the Mike Andrews Award for volunteerism from Field Community School. The other was Volunteer of the Year award from Minneapolis Public School. I have nice plaques to prove it. My volunteerism was piano accompanist for the music programs at Field, and now more recently at Sanford. I was at rehearsals nearly every day (and usually for several hours as I had several groups to accompany) but also was the de facto music librarian, helped run sectionals, helped set up and tear down set ups for performances, made copies of music (shhhh….don’t tell anyone – the copies were only used at rehearsals and were recycled), and myriad other small tasks. Now with Covid affecting school learning, and singing being one of the best ways to transmit the virus, I don’t know what will happen this year. Guess I’ll have a lot of time on my hands.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. In high school, I received every sports pin, six in total, awarded by a national board. I have no idea what became of them, I suspect mom tossed them when I left home. I do remember being quite proud of them, though not enough to actually wear or display them in any way. There were miscellaneous medals for swimming and diving competitions as well, but nothing that meant anything to me.

    In college, I was an honors student and on the Deans’ List most every quarter; that meant something because it assured the continuation of the scholarship I was on, but I never kept any of the letters notifying me of the achievement.

    I won a couple of trophies in tennis, and one as part of a bowling team! The ugliest damn trophy ever, and that’s saying something. Also, from my time at KPMG, I once won the traveling pig trophy that was awarded each week to the one who had lost the least weight during that week. The trophy was meant to shame you into doing better the following week, but didn’t seem to work very well. It came with a rather witty, but nasty, memo that was circulated to all participants in the tax season weight challenge, ridiculing the poorest loser. Some participants would weigh in in shorts and bare feet to avoid being awarded the pig trophy. Need I tell you that this weight loss challenge was run by a bunch of overweight white guys?

    I once took home a plaque as the winner of a speech contest through Toastmasters. I had no idea what to do with the plaque, so pried off the brass plate with my name on it, and recycled the plaque.

    But my favorite award has to be the certificate and relatively substantial cash prize I won once when I came out on top of the annual college basketball pool at the law office. That was particularly sweet because I didn’t know a fool thing about basketball, the colleges, or their teams, whereas all of the other participants in the pool considered themselves experts. For me, it was pure luck, and I took a lot of flack because of it. I recycled the certificate and spent the money.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. I honestly can’t recall getting a trophy or award beyond a pink ribbon for 3rd or 4th place in a grade school track day. I’ve gotten certificates for completing things like Y-Teens Leadership Camp, a T’ai Chi course.

    I guess my trophies have been getting to a level in some things where I’m asked/allowed to teach (folk dance) or to help lead a group (song circle). And son Joel told us, once he was an adult and had moved out, that he thought the way we brought him up was really good… that felt like being awarded a prize.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Good afternoon-

    Way back in my first year of doing theater I won the ‘Best Director’ award because I’d be in the booth trying to get the actors into their light. “Come on, come on… a little more…” “Step right one more step!” “Back up, back up…”
    Obviously it was a dubious award but given with affection and made from all sorts of bits of left over stuff and all spray painted gold. It’s still downstairs in fact. One benefit to having never moved.

    a few years ago I was up for a more serious award called an ‘Artee’ (for the mayor who started them, Ardel Brede.) but didn’t win that one.

    Got ‘Best actor’ award in 4H But really, I was the only male senior actor so they had to give it to somebody.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. In regard to the header photo and VS’d bruises – I have a number of “personal” badges but the best one is the scar from my hip fracture/pin placement from September, 2016. Actually it is three separate incisions, each about an inch and a half long. Those same incisions were used to remove the hardware a year and a half later. I’m glad to report that except for not being able to sit crossed leg for very long, there are no ill effects from that long recovery. Acupuncture helped the healing and range of motion a ton and I still receive “maintenance” treatments.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. I once won a modest chili cook-off, which isn’t all that remarkable but half the contestants were home economists whose jobs were developing recipes.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The thing is, the chili was judged by popular vote. None of the home economists placed in the competition and I think it was because, being professionals, they were more rigid about what constituted chili. I don’t remember exactly how I made it but I know it had chunks of steak and probably a little unsweetened cocoa in it. The home ecs were caught up in whether true chili has beans or not.

      Liked by 3 people

  10. I won Grand Champion for a cactus terrarium garden at the Rock County Fair when I was in Grade 8. I got to go to the State Fair with it. My, was that fun! We got to stay in the 4-H building with its three level bunk beds and wander around the Fair Grounds at all hours.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. The nonprofit that does tax returns awarded me a couple of awards – the first was Rookie of the Year (my first year, naturally), and later Reviewer of the Year. Also I have a medal from the one race I participated in with my dragon boat team.

    There were also a few of times I won the Oscars pool and the trivia contest in various groups.

    What I would really like is a state fair ribbon in something like creative activities, but of course you have to actually get moving and make something….which I have yet to do.


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