Today’s post comes from Ben.
Well I guess it’s winter this week. We had 4 inches of unexpected snow on Tuesday. maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention to the weather but I don’t think anybody expected that much snow. At least it was light and fluffy.
And then it was cold. I had one below zero Wednesday morning! I went down to open up the chickens and they were in no hurry and had no interest in coming out. One chicken, who always ends up in a different side of the pen, ran to the door, stopped and looked, pecked at some snow, and turned around and went back inside. Didn’t blame her a bit. Even the ducks weren’t too interested in leaving the water. I threw corn out to them at the pond.

The deer have started to group up. I took this picture coming home one night. That’s just one group. Usually there’s about three groups this size. This is why I don’t like the deer. Too many of them.

Almost done with class. We had to write a paper about a park or an area and of course talk about the rocks, waters, and land uses etc. I wrote about our farm. Understanding the history of the glaciers coming through and the forces that have shaped the land and the types of rock underneath is really pretty interesting. I will have that submitted before you read this. And then a final in class on Monday and then that’s it. Then maybe I can start working on my basket of farm bookwork.
Or maybe not. My left shoulder has been giving me trouble for years. But not enough to really cause any issues. Until about two weeks ago. One night out of the blue I went to lift my arm and it hurt like all get out. Then it got better then one night again it hurt so bad I went to the ER, but of course by the time I got there didn’t hurt so bad. Had an MRI done on it and as of now, still awaiting results on that. But I foresee rotator cuff surgery coming up shortly. well, that will certainly make me reevaluate some things.
My good friend Paul, the one who occasionally comments on here, had rotator cuff surgery about a year ago. He had a terrific recovery so he can be my guide.
Tuesday night after the snow, Kelly rode in the tractor with me as we bladed the driveway, so she’s ready to tackle that on her own if necessary.
I think I can still design lights with one arm. I need the computer to program and record cues. Obviously someone else should be climbing ladders. Notice I said “should“. No, if it comes to that, I will behave. I can still program the light board with one arm.”
So we’ll see.
Ever received or sent a dear John /Jane letter? How did that go?
Rise and Shine Baboons,
I am procrastinating putting on my winter clothes so that I can get out the front door and shovel the front entry for the poor dog. This morning she fell into the snow off the front step, then looked at me with withering disapproval. She peed under the eave. I have not heard the plows come through yet, and I am really enjoying the quiet solitude of the first snow. It was a beauty.
I think that when I was a sophomore in High School I gave my boyfriend at the time a Dear John note because I did not have the courage to tell him I wanted to break up. I enjoyed the company of my girlfriends far more and I missed them. The poor guy was doomed. I was so immature and so unhappy about being expected to HAVE a boyfriend that he never had a chance. We are friends as adults, and he is really a great guy, but I don’t think farming in NW Iowa was a future I wanted, although I could not put words to it at the time. So I dimly remember writing the Dear John and breaking his heart.
Off to the front entry.
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Received. I was out of her league. Worked out well because of the two excellent kids I had with someone else.
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I’d really love to hear more about some of these cryptic comments.
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Those of you out moving snow this morning, take it easy. I think here in Rochester we only got about 4 inches, but it was windy and there’s a lot of drifts.
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Our snowblower died this morning. The neighbor came over and finished it for us so we can go out. Lou’s mission this week is to get a new one.
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If you were in Winona, you could go to our neighbor’s shop – Gerard’s Small Engine Repair – he’s been busy, and I’ll bet today they’re over the top!
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My next-door neighbor, the marvelous Don, did our front sidewalk and our entire driveway. He also is very committed to making sure that there’s enough space for the trash and recycling cans at the end of the driveway. He always clears enough room on both sides for probably 10 or 12 cans. While he was working hard outside I worked hard inside — made cookies and delivered some to him later in the afternoon.
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I think we got a lot of snow here in Northfield. I always measure it on the deck railing and I measured 13” early this morning. Channel 4 said Northfield got 9” but I’m not sure that’s accurate either. Maybe the wind is to blame for the difference in snow amounts. The concrete steps from the front door were so buried I couldn’t see them. It blew Pippin’s mind. He looked at me with uncertainty, then stepped out and kind of rolled down partway. He got up and looked at me, then just peed right where he was on my front steps! Then he came bounding back up and looked at me, wagging, like I should be proud of what he had achieved.
I’m the one who received a Dear Jane letter. Maybe more than one. I’m just not cut out for relationships, I guess. I’m well past it now and I’m glad it never worked out.
Time for some snowshoeing!
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A coworker of mine got an email from her husband about a month ago demanding a divorce. It came out of the blue. Two weeks later they were officially divorced and their house was on the market and she moved into an apartment.
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Wow, that was brutal. How? Why?
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Not sure. He reportedly has some addiction issues,.
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Ouch. My heart goes out to your coworker. Seriously hurtful stuff.
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Yikes. She must’ve had a divorce in the works already for it to happen in two weeks?
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I was in 10th grade and still trying to figure out this dating thing. We’d had one date and I thought that meant we were practically married. There was no letter, she was just holding hands with another guy. I. Was. Crushed.
I broke up with the next ones. At least I told them to their face.
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That is so 10th grade. Man, I don’t know what I was thinking at that age. It is comforting to know that you did not know how it all worked either.
When I went to my class reunion this summer, there was one couple there (the only ones who were HS sweethearts) who dated in high school then went on to get married. They are still married. I was surprised to discover that they were 2 of the nicest people ever. In 10th grade I thought they were socially unapproachable, which also was not true.
The world looks so different through adult eyes.
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And thank god for that.
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5 couples in my class got married out of 96 students. Two stayed married.
Once got dumped, to my face, no coward she. We ended up teaching 15 miles apart. Sandy hates her as did my family. We were serious but her decision was sound.
Ended About 6 short term relationships not serious. Mostly by neither contacting the other again. One of my classmates really wanted us to be a pair for life I assume. She was very bright, sweet and fun. I just did not feel that way. We went off to different colleges and never spoke again. She just died
Clyde
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I don’t think I have ever sent or received a Dear John/Dear Jane letter, though I’ve have had plenty of failed relationships. Some relationships were painful to terminate, others remarkably easy. Sometimes it wasn’t even necessary to say anything, it was so obvious that this wasn’t going to go anywhere in a hurry, or it was painfully obvious that the relationship had run its course. I can’t imagine what it would be like to navigate today’s Match.com market, can’t imagine what it would take for me to even consider it. Ugh! No thanks.
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When I was nineteen, I met and fell in love with a Danish man a few years older than me. He was the kindest, gentlest, most generous and considerate man I’ve ever known. He was also dyslexic and had difficulty reading, so didn’t, but he had a keen aptitude for anything mechanical and a strong work ethic. He excelled at small talk, perfect if you’re in sales. We got engaged, were together for about two years and actually lived together for about nine months. I broke off the relationship with him, knowing that I was doing us both a favor, after he fell asleep during a concert with Louis Armstrong’s band featuring Ella Fitzgerald.
He went on to marry a woman with whom he has two sons, and together they built up and ran one of Denmark’s largest Saab dealerships and service centers. As near as I can tell, they’re happy. I stopped into their showroom about twenty years ago just to say hello. While I was there a couple came in looking for a new car, and Niels swung into his small talk action. It confirmed what I had known all along, but which I had forgotten in the interim, he’d have driven me nuts with all of his inane chatter about nothing, or I would have died of boredom. More likely we would have ended up divorced, I really did do us both a favor.
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I once dated a girl once who talked a lot. I always said she could put a fence post to sleep. Part of the reason I broke up with her.
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With Niels it wasn’t so much that he was excessively talkative, but it was damn near impossible to carry on a conversation with him about anything of any substance. Because he read so poorly, it was extremely limited what he had read or knew about anything except cars. Niels’ intelligence was pretty normal, I’m sure, but because of his poor reading skills, he was ignorant of too many things. In retrospect, I think what I was attracted to was his stability and kindness. He came from a farm family in Jutland, a kind, decent, and welcoming family that I really wanted to belong to. In fact, when I broke off the engagement, that’s what I regretted the most, losing them as family.
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I am the heart breaker, I’m afraid.
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I have been on both sides, and it sucks from wither side.
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Either🙄🤪
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Same for me. No letters but I did some breaking up and had some breaking up done to me. Seems like it must be kind of the human condition.
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When I finally came to my senses in Brooklyn, NY, Wasband was out in California trying to drum up a relationship with Stanford Univ. (long story). I knew if I didn’t explain my issues and get out of there, he’d come back and I might not still have the clarity and stamina. I wrote a long letter trying to explain. It didn’t arrive in a timely manner, and I ended up trying to do it on the phone, while he was visiting mutual friends – the ones who introduced us. Uffda.
By the end of the conversation, though, I was able to get across that I didn’t love him any less – just that we never should have tried to make our great friendship into a marriage relationship. He got it. We remained friends until his death in 2003.
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Sandy was a secretary in U hospital and medical school. She had a congenial relationship with a med student but with a sense she thought that it was going to get serious. Their last date was Memorial Day 1965 before he went out to the VA hospital for the summer as part of med school. He came back after Labor Day and came to ask her out. She showed him her wedding ring.
Clyde
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Atta way Clyde. Those who hesitate are lost!
Kelly and I had been dating a while. I got to her apartment one night and she was standing outside with two young med students. I didn’t want to intrude, but I sure gave them the stink eye while edging closer and closer to her.
Kelly grew up on a farm over by Fairmont, and the family joke was always that her mom didn’t send her to Rochester to marry another farmer! Too bad; I chased all the doctors away.
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Debbie and I dated for 2 1/2 children before we were sure it was serious
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Ben, what do the ducks do when the water freezes over? (Or I could just wait and see, and you’ll tell us in the future…).
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This little pond is fed by a drain tile that never stops running. So there is always some open water. A week of below zero weather and it might just be a little 5’ diameter area, but there’s always something open.
Last time it did that, I saw a hawk land on the ice and kill a duck. I think I did a blog about that and how cold it was.
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Few years ago I was supposed to have rotator cuff surgery. It was painful but I was committed to lots of travel and then the pain was just a part of my constant background pain. Never had it done. I cannot reach into upper cupboards very well but it is all fine.
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This is such a timely question as just yesterday I got the annual holiday card from my first wasband. It’s the only contact we have after 30+ years, the annual holiday card. He always sends a little letter along with it. I’m sure they don’t do newsletters so this must just be for me. I sent a picture this year and I’m not sure I would have recognized him if I’d seen him on the street. He is still married to the woman he met after we broke up. (I went to their wedding.) They have two kids and a nice life in Washington state. And I am reminded every year when I get the letter that we did the right thing for both of us in splitting up.
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Driving me up the walls not being with Sandra.
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So sorry Clyde. That has to be hard.
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I’m sure it is. Don’t blame you.
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turn on the hallmark channel
that should help
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My dear Wes came from Karen (The topic prompted a look and her business Facebook pic looks awesome). I responded that she should destroy our many letter communications. “No” was the answer. “Too cute”. I wish I my words weren’t cute.
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Maybe my words were unintentionally cute betraying a sense of humor.
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when I got divorced my attorney asked me if I was the dumper or the dumpee and I asked why and she said well because that makes such a huge difference in your perspective in your direction and how you’re doing I believe I have only been the dumpee and while I’ve never gotten a dear John letter I’ve had to figure out how to get the message seven or eight times in my life
cindy kristi susan sue dawn peggy lynne anna kathy kathy deb
huh more than 7 or 8.
maybe i’ll learn before the next one
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tim, there are times when a little punctuation in your post would truly be appreciated by yours truly.
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i don’t see how punctuation would help this one
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For starters, it might have helped my catch my breath.
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OT – It’s late, and it hasn’t been a busy day on the trail. Husband is working on putting together a video montage in remembrance of a dear friend who passed away last Sunday. That brought to mind this video, put together by the daughter of our dear friend Mike Mikkelsen who died in 2013. It’s long, but a lovely tribute to a complex man, who despite his many fuck-ups, lived a long and rich life. Greta did a wonderful job of remembering her dad with whom she had a rather complicated relationship.
Since Mike’s death (and this video), Anne, his fourth – and last – wife has also passed away. Bill, our mutual friend, who died last Sunday, is also in this video.
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Love seeing your winter photos!!
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Linda, I was waiting for your musical contribution.
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Better late than never.
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You can also visit my website – https://adijaycreations436503299.wordpress.com/the-farm-laws/
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You can also visit my website – https://www.a2nacademy.com/
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