Six Hours Down the Tube

Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you.  Yesterday, after listening to the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes song (thank you, Wes), I went out in search of the movie and found four of them. I watched them all so that you never have to. The first one (Attack) got terrible reviews but the cast and crew had their tongues stuck in their cheeks so firmly that it was hard not to warm up to the film.  I’m not even sure I can recount the plot (there just barely is one) but suffice it to say that tomatoes start killing people and are eventually overcome by a song named “Puberty Love”.  The movie is filled from beginning to end with sight gags, bad puns and atrocious over-acting.  I can understand why it has attained the status of “cult classic”. 

The second film in the series is Return of the Killer Tomatoes.  Two notable cast members stand out – John Astin as the mad scientist who supposedly was behind the killer tomato attacks in the first movie (although Astin was not in Attack).  The other is a very young George Clooney who plays a pizza jock who is also a bit of a horn dog.  Return, although made by the same crowd as Attack, takes itself more seriously which makes the movie not even remotely fun.

Killer Tomatoes Strike Back.  John Astin is also back, this time trying to gain control of the world using brainwashing and thought control.  Rick Rockwell plays the main character and the only redeeming thing about him is the wild assortment of Zumba pants he wears throughout.  Oh – and the tomatoes get faces in this one.  I will admit there is one very funny scene in which the bad tomatoes and Astin attempt to make a BLT with the female lead instead of slices of tomato.

Killer Tomatoes Eat France is thankfully the last of the series.  This time John Astin escapes from prison and tries to take over the world by re-creating the French Revolution and proclaiming his minion Igor as King.  Why this would result in world domination is never made clear.  The most noteworthy thing about this one is that the tomatoes have gotten seriously ugly with bad teeth, the occasional eye patch and tongues (ick) and finally after all this time, they finally have the power of speech. There is one monster fire-breathing tomato but he/she doesn’t get much film time.  Too bad.

I’m not recommending that anybody else waste their time watching any of these except maybe the original Attack of the Killer Tomatoes – if it’s cold out and you have an hour or so with nothing else planned.  The others?  Don’t even bother.  They took a fun quirky idea and ran it straight into the ground.

Tell me about your favorite tomato dish!

29 thoughts on “Six Hours Down the Tube”

    1. Indeed she is. I can just see her charging into the living room with a whip and a chair, taming the TV/streaming device so she can safely view these.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Marcella Hazan’s simple tomato sauce is the best, and Daughter insists on it every time she is home. I found a way to make it all year round from our own San Marzano tomatoes thanks to the Ball canning book, which has a recipe for a tomato puree I process and can that replicates the puree you need for Marcella’sauce.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Ah, VS, you had me snorting tea all the way through the intro post, starting with “so you don’t have to”. Thanks.

    I made a Fresh Tomato Sauce for pasta once that was delicious – haven’t ever found the exact one again but there are some good -sounding ones out there…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    A tomato right off the vine, sliced, and sprinkled with salt is the tomato dish I cannot live without. There is a long list of others, but if pressed the fresh slice is the favorite. Then there is tomato basil soup, my own pasta sauce (spicy), Sicilian Baked eggs (spicy tomato sauce and spinach included), Caprese Salad. This could go on for while.

    So today I plant my tomatoes in the garden, including the Genoese Costo variety I started from seed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for taking four for the team, VS! Mighty brave of you (or foolish?). I doubt I would have lasted through the first movie.

    Best tomato dish other than a BLT with a tomato from my garden with Nueske’s or Mcinthun’s bacon on a first-rate multi-grain or artisan bread is a single apple-sized tomato eaten plain with salt, pepper, and perhaps a drizzle of EVOO and balsamic vinegar. Why mess with perfection?

    Chris in Owatonna

    **BSP** My annual spring visit to Mainstreet Day in Hopkins is TOMORROW. Forecast is glorious. 9-3 are the hours. Mainstreet Hopkins between 6th and 12th. I’ll be in my usual booth on the north side of Main between 10th & 11th. I’d love to see some TBers there and chat for a bit. And perhaps sell you a book. No better way to spend a spring Saturday than outdoors browsing dozens of booths for the right gift (OR BOOK) for you or a special someone in your life. Lots of food vendors, music, fun for kids, and people watching that’s as good as I’ve seen anywhere (except for a gap pride parade in Toronto some 25 years ago when we had window seats at a fantastic little Cabbagetown restaurant during the parade. We had no idea it was even scheduled. It was a memorable night, both visual and gustatory. **End BSP**

    Liked by 3 people

  5. The Better Homes and Gardens Picture Casserole Cookbook from the 1960’s has a great Mac and Cheese recipe that has slices of of tomatoes baked into the top.

    Make roux from 4 T of butter and 4 T of flour, add 2 c of milk. Cook until thickened. Add 1.5 cups of grated sharp cheddar cheese and stir until melted. Add 1 t. salt.

    Cook 2 cups of elbow macaroni until al dente, drain, and put in a buttered 8×11 casserole dish. Pour the sauce over the elbows, and put sliced tomatoes on top. Sprinkle .5 cup of grated cheddar on top, sprinkle paprika on top of that, and bake at 350° for 30 minutes.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Tomorrow the Master Gardener Plant Sale is from 9-2:00pm at the Hopkins Pavillion in Hopkins (1100 Excelsior Blvd). All garden plants.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I saw “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” decades ago. I don’t consider it a proper Bad Movie because it was a parody–a parody can be bad comedy and a bad movie, but it can’t be a genuine Bad Movie. Those come straight from someone’s id; when you’re watching something like “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” “The Beast of Yucca Flats” or “Hobgoblins,” you realize you’re looking into the void.

    Favorite tomato recipe? How to choose? Pasta fresca, marinara, arrabiata, tomato basil soup, the list goes on…

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Like others here, I prefer a freshly picked, sun-warmed garden tomato, eaten like an apple right there in the garden on a summer morning.

    I’ve made a kind of vegetarian pasta sauce that’s not really sauce with sliced paste tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, garlic and fresh basil. I just start sautéing the onions and garlic in EVOO, then add everything else and cook lightly. I don’t let the tomatoes get too soft. I haven’t done that in a long time but it works well if you have lots of garden veggies and some pasta on hand.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. I have loved tomatoes for as long as I can remember, and I still do. Toward the end of summer, when vine ripened tomatoes are plentiful, there’s no end to the ways they can be incorporated into every meal. I have too many favorite ways to enjoy them to be able to pick just one. Now that I have been thinking of this, I have a serious longing for the farmers’ markets’ first offerings of freshly harvested, locally grown veggies of every kind. Bring it on!

    Liked by 4 people

  10. OT – Just released by “Paul Simon: Seven Psalms (Legacy) Simon’s 15th solo album and first new material since 2016. The album consists of one 33 minute track, 7 ‘pieces’ meant to be heard as a single listening experience. Its a mostly solo acoustic affair with a little help from Wynton Marsalis and Edie Brickell.”

    Here’s a link to listen to the whole thing, it’s quite lovely:

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I love pretty much aything with tomatoes. Agree with many of the options mentioned above. One thing that hasn’t been mentioned is a fresh homegrown tomato stuffed with cottage cheese. Nothing better.

    Liked by 2 people

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