2023, Family, History, Uncategorized

Leaving a Legacy

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There is a woman who attended our Lutheran Church for many years before she and her husband moved to Minnesota. Her lasting legacy , the thing she is remembered for, is her lefse recipe. Hers’ is the recipe we all consult when there are any doubts about how to make lefse. I think that is a pretty nice way to be remembered.

One of my Great Uncles is best remembered for being a very musically inclined bootlegger who was really good operating steam threshers. HIs children carried on his love of music by running a dance band for many years. Since Prohibition was over, they didn’t need to keep up his bootlegging when he died in the early 1930’s.

I hope that Husband and I are leaving a legacy of good psychology practice that others can learn from. I like having students and interns to teach and supervise. I only get to do a little of that, though. I guess I could consider my psychological evaluations as lasting legacies. It would be fine with me, though, if I am mainly remembered as a good cook and baker and as a kind person.

What lasting legacy would you like to leave? What skills or talents would you like to pass on to someone?

27 thoughts on “Leaving a Legacy”

  1. I don’t think you have much control over how you are remembered or what inspiration, if any, your family and friends take from you. If I’ve done it right, it won’t be the same thing for everybody.

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    1. I think that’s true to some extent. We have no control over what characteristics or behaviors others value and appreciate.

      I do think, though, that if you’re not genuinely living your own espoused values, you won’t be remembered that way. Not sure I’m expressing that very well. What I mean is that if you claim to be an accepting, kind, and generous person, and you’re constantly judging and criticizing others, your legacy is not going to be what you want it to be. Actions speak louder than words.

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  2. Bill’s right, but here’s what I’d LIKE to be remembered for – that I was always willing to help out if I could, and that I was a good collaborator.

    I wish could pass on some of what I’ve learned about teaching folk dance, and I guess I’d like to be remembered as a good teacher of beginning dancers.

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  3. My experience is that the more tangible, concrete activities or talents you associate with someone are a pale substitute for the more ineffable gratitude you feel for having loved (or esteemed) that person.
    That gratitude is difficult to convey.

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  4. Good chat with Bill, Barb, and PJ. It looks to me like there can be two types of legacy: tangible and intangible. Bill was certainly referring to the intangible, which is how people feel about you after you’ve gone. And if our words, behavior around others, and similar intangibles match our actions, we should be remembered in a positive light.

    I try to walk the walk as well as talk the talk, but also, I figure I’ll leave behind some tangible legacies, too. My books, for starters. In the computer age, they can possible live on for the eternity of human existence. So a hundred years from now, someone can stumble across one of my books, read it, and hopefully say, “Yeah, that guy was apretty good storyteller.”

    My other tangible legacies are the two young men I mentored as a Big Brother. I know, and they’ve told me directly, that they are better humans for knowing me and being able to call me a friend as well as a “brother.”

    All I hope for is to be remembered as a decent, kind, gentle, peaceful, honest person who tried to make his corner of the world a better place.

    Chris in Owatonna

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  5. Since the internet is now eternal, aren’t these posting by Baboons a lasting legacy?
    My lasting internet political legacy includes the determination that the court cases against Trump are indeed a “witch hunt” and he weighs the same as a duck. (Monty Python and the Holy Grail.)

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  6. If you live too long, people forget you’re alive and only a handful show up to your funeral. You’ve outlived all your friends and relatives.
    I hope some of the college students remember me.
    I’ve tried to leave a legacy of training some theater kids… we never know how much of an impact we’re making though.

    Being the youngest of my family, there should be some nieces and nephews that will attend. 🙂

    Honestly, I’m not as negative as I seem to be coming across today!

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    1. I don’t think that sounds negative, Ben. Realistically, if you live to be 80 or 90 years old, many of your friends will have already passed away, and some of those that are still alive may not be in good enough health to attend.

      Hans and I don’t have relatives in the US, and there’s no way that nieces and nephews that live in Denmark would travel all the way here for our eventual funerals. We sometimes joke that we’ll have to offer door prizes if we want to assure that someone will attend. As it is, I’m not sure I even want to have some “celebration of life” gathering.

      Many years ago now, I attended the funeral of an old woman I knew through the Riverview Garden Club. Karen was in her nineties when she died. She had never married, but had lived with her parents in a small house here on the West Side of St. Paul. She had taken care of them until they died at a ripe old age.

      I was astounded at the attendance at her funeral. The small church was full, there must have been two hundred people there. People of all ages, and I have never seen such a diverse group at any private gathering before or since.

      There was about an equal number of men and women; there were children, teens, and the whole age spectrum of adults. There were Hmong, Hispanic, Black, Native American, and white folks, and they all had a personal story to tell about her. I’m not sure what Karen’s secret was, perhaps that she was a librarian, but she clearly was loved and respected by a lot of people in St. Paul.

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  7. my flying by the seat of my pants is a thing my kids learned
    50% of my best stuff is in how not to do it
    music art humor are what i hope i pass on hoarding disorganization and sleep deprivation may end up being my badges of honor

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  9. I thought about these questions all day. I don’t think I could say it any better than Bill and PJ did. I guess I hope people remember me as someone who tried to help others and was a good human. I like to think I’m helping to restore reality to the myth about “Minnesota Nice.”

    I’d like to think people might remember me for being musically talented, a good enough singer for a folk group, and a creative person without formal training.

    My mom was such a social butterfly. She loved parties and socializing. She was always the darling of most social events, full of friendly grace and charm. She died in 2020, at 85, so due to the age of many of her friends, I postponed a celebration of life until the following summer. I waited as long as I could so that everyone could feel safe, but not too long so that she would be forgotten. My dad and her second husband both preceded her in death. Her sister lives in Rockford, IL, so she wasn’t able to come. One of my two brothers refused to come. Her lifelong best friend came; her three first cousins came; my youngest brother and his family came; and my first cousins on my dad’s side came. That was it. She had SO many friends but her celebration of life had only a fraction of the many lives she touched. It was partly due to the lingering fears from the pandemic, but I still feel sad. She would have liked a party. I agree that we can’t control what happens after we depart. All we can do is try our best to be good humans so that we can be remembered for the good we brought to the lives of others. I hope I have made some kind of good impact on others.

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  11. For my 70th birthday people I worked with at MPR made comments that mostly were/are about my laughter/laughing so I suspect that’s my primary legacy. I will try to post the “record” because it is so wonderful

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