2023, Family, home, The Future, Uncategorized, work

Getting Old

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In the last week I have done something rather unheard of for me-I took two full days off of work because I was tired.

I am rarely sick. I normally have enough energy to get done all the things I want to accomplish in the evenings and on the weekends. I am not doing any more than I normally do. I am in good health. Work is no more stressful than it usually is. Why, then, am I in bed most nights by 8:30? Husband is having the same experience that I am and is tired all the time.

I realized to my great annoyance that we are tired because we are aging. I will only be 66 in February. That isn’t that old. Husband will be 70, so I can understand a little more why he is taking more naps. After all, he may be retired, but he is working 20 hours a week.

My two days off allowed me to get a lot of things done at home that I would never have accomplished after work. I have to accept that I need to take more time off. With only a year of full time work left before I retire, I doubt that the administration will be too upset about me taking the occasional day off. They are hopeful I will work part-time after I formally retire, so they will be nice to me.

What about getting older has surprised and/ or annoyed you? If you are retired, is it what you hoped it would be?

58 thoughts on “Getting Old”

  1. Five years and four months have passed since we left busy professional lives in Taiwan and retired to western Michigan. The first several months were “cushioned” by speaking engagements at churches to say, “thanks for letting us be your people far away.” Then those ended, too. The paychecks stopped coming on September 30. We had lost professional work, a language, a nation, and connection with the folks among whom we had lived for 39 years. It was time to begin building something new. I “hung up the clerical collar” and gave away my “preacher’s regalia.”
    The old house we bought absorbed some time, and a lot of funds from the bank. Now, 5 years later, most of those projects are finished. I’ve turned to writing.
    On about Wednesday of the first week of October in 2018, I realized that I had already forgotten what I had done on Monday. A loud alarm bell rang in my head. I began journaling. That evolved from a list into a 3-part letter of interesting observations (interesting to me, at least) that I share with friends weekly. I began writing poems and setting things to tunes for “churchy people” who follow the Revised Common Lectionary. I doubt that ANY of those 1000+ songs have been sung anywhere, but there are YouTube videos for each. The current project is prose: a series of adventures about a 17 year old girl in a nearby city where she’s known as “the youngest detective.” It’s the kind of thing where the guy who voices the red herrings is named Red Herringa. Enough said.
    I do less physical stuff, more head stuff, but I’m healthy and able to do pretty much all that I want (though I don’t want all that much).There are naps every day, but I’d started that long before retiring, anyway.

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  3. Because I was a state employee for most of my career, and qualified for the rule of 90 (age plus years worked), I was able to retire at age 56. I had already started accompanying school choirs while still working and once retired, I increased that to nearly full time. Music has been my second career – some of it volunteer, most of it now paid. That small income helps pay for most of my international trips. I loved my career as a hospital nurse (mainly NICU) but do not miss it for a minute. As to aging – today I turn 71. Yikes! How did that happen?? I am in good health (orthopedic injuries aside), able to travel, have numerous activities (such as kayaking) that occupy my time, have a fairly small but dedicated group of friends, and still sleep well. What is most noticeable is how much longer it takes to recover from illness/injury. Overall I feel very fortunate.

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    3. I, too, am a state employee and had to meet the Rule of 90 for a pension, which I met a couple of years ago, but I am waiting to retire until I meet the age for Social Security benefits, which will be next December.

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      2. Rule of 90 ended completely in MN sometime in the ‘80s. Most MN state employees working now don’t have it. Those who work for Corrections and others (like maybe Public Safety State Highway Patrol), have mandatory retirement at age 55 with full benefits. I think they have to work at least 10 years for that department to be eligible for it, but that’s a pretty good deal for doing a really hard job. I know a few people who were able to retire at 55 with full benefits, pull their pension, and then work part-time at something else for awhile.

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  4. Well, as mentioned, the memory loss is sometimes alarming.
    I’ve found lots of places to volunteer my time in retirement. I wonder what will happen when the next generation, who seem much busier than even we have been, is in charge of these volunteer-run places.

    The health issues are what get in the way of total enjoyment of retirement. Husband’s stroke has become manageable, but in his case (and partly his mind-set) it means we can’t travel. I feel fortunate that I am in good health generally, but I know anything can happen.

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  7. Old age isn’t too surprising given the poetic description by Solomon in Ecclesiastes chapter 12. There’s a lot there that gets remedied by current medical advances.
    Verse 3: “the grinding women (teeth) become few.” Dentistry helps a lot.
    Verse 4: “sound of the grinding mill becomes low.” Hearing aids. Whatdchasay?!
    Verse 5: “the grasshopper drags itself along.”
    This one is rough. While having oversight of construction crews, I had a pace described by my fellow employees (even the haters) as a “Wes walk.” I’m no longer a grasshopper. I’m educating myself to stop shuffling and pick up my feet.

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    1. I have been thinking about your point of medical intervention lately. Where would I be without that? In a wheelchair because the hip and knee would have not been functioning at all. And then everything else, including joy, stops functioning.

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        1. I am so grateful for mobility. Most days I am at the gym working to preserve my mobility, and I am glad to do it. I have right foot problems–bursitis and plantar faciitis. So frustrating. I am awaiting my orthotic. That is my limitation now.

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  8. The annoying part of getting old is that no matter how hard one tries to keep a sharp mind and toned body, one us doomed to fail one way or another eventually. I’m annoyed that my balance is not nearly as good as it used to be.

    Like Renee and Husband, I get tired faster and sooner. I used to be a night owl, but nowadays, 10:00 pm is late! Too many times I get annoyed that I’m watching something on TV and doze off in my recliner. Just like my dad. I’m starting to look more and more like him too. It’s annoying that we often turn into our parents. My wife is more and more her mother every day.

    I was surprised to realize one day that I grunt and groan almost every time I sit or stand, just like other old people do! It seems to be an involuntary reflex because so many times I don’t feel any pain or stiffness that would cause me to groan or grunt. Go figure.

    Since I never officially retired from a job, I don’t have a sense of what retirement might feel like. But since I like to keep busy, I’m pretty much doing what I would have done had I retired from a job and found myself with 40-50 hours of free time every week.

    Chris in Owatonna

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  9. I’ve always taken my overall good physical health for granted. It’s annoying to feel changes in my body, like sharply increased back pain, weight gain, hypertension, melanoma fears, and others. The prevalence of viruses like RSV, Covid-19, and flu are really troubling to me, especially the reaction some people have to taking simple safety precautions like getting vaccinated or wearing a mask. I can say that I have not yet had Covid-19. I hope I don’t ever get it. I can’t completely live in fear. The fact that these viruses have become prevalent now, as I’m trying to enjoy retirement, is really frustrating to me.

    I’m working on living up to my retirement expectations. One thing I’ve always wanted to do is travel. The only thing holding me back has been the lack of a travel partner. I’m going to Ireland in the spring with an old friend, her sister, and granddaughter. I’m looking forward to it but have some anxiety about flying. It will be a new experience.

    Twenty years ago I wouldn’t have been afraid to take off on a cross-country adventure by myself. These days I’m more cautious. I worry about what could happen. My close friend won’t travel with anyone but her life partner. She tells me I’m crazy to even think of it. She’s too cautious, in my opinion, most of the time, but there are certainly some things to keep in mind. The current lack of kindness and respect for others in our country annoys me to no end. I never expected the social and political disputes we’re experiencing these days. I wish we could restore sanity, mutual respect, and kindness. I think of everything I’ve experienced in retirement, this is the most frustrating.

    I enjoy the peace and quiet of retirement though. I’ve always been good at being alone and that’s what I am, so I’m usually content. I have plenty of hobbies, lots of books to read, and a little dog who needs me. I’m grateful for what I have.

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  10. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    This summer when I retired, life took a chaotic fork in the road, and I have not yet felt much like I retired. With my mother’s death a month before I stopped working, then a string of other family losses, these first months have been full of good-byes, funerals, and lots of work. November was really the only period in which I noticed I was not working.

    Steve Grooms once wrote to us that aging is a series of losses. That statement stayed with me, and I think it is very true. But there are also some gains. I have more financial security than I ever expected which is a real gain. I also have so many things to do that I really love. After having cancer so young, I never expected to live this long. That is a great surprise. More later.

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    2. I had one of those yesterday too! It wasn’t as big as I expected a double yolker to be, so a nice surprise.
      I’ll pass your appreciation along to the chickens. 🙂

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  12. I’ve been retired for twenty-three years. I was fifty. Sure didn’t notice much about aging in those days but now, woo boy.

    Taking up the hobby of writing novels has not been conducive to maintenance of youthful vigor. I don’t recommend it, and neither does my physical therapist — although we were able to mitigate a troublesome case of pelvic tendonitis in only three visits, which is encouraging.

    We are become our aged parents, discussing ills and pains at every opportunity, declining to visit away from the home after sunset because, dare we admit it, we don’t like driving after dark.

    Like yourself, we’re grateful for the nest egg we saved. Regrettably, the prospect of spending it on travel to exotic places has to be measured against how many steps we can take in a day.

    Dang.

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    1. I know. Ironic, isn’t it? Now that we can comfortably afford to travel, Covid is an ever present threat, and our bodies no longer have the resilience they once had. Yet, I’m grateful that my brain still functions reasonably well as the rest of my body seems to be steadily declining. I’ll spare you my organ recital, but it ain’t pretty.

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  13. I’m at work work and I post things and they never show up… well, eventually, they do. Unless I ask for help from Renee and Sherrilee.

    2019 and the cellulitis in my leg really made me feel mortal. And then everything last year… I am so grateful to get up every morning and I appreciate all the things I still can do.
    I saw a FB post one day of guys lifting a sledge hammer from further and further down the handle and struggling and I laughed. Pishaw! I can do that! Next time I was in the shed I grabbed the sledge hammer. Nope, not anymore I can’t. I started to do the trick where you hold the end of the handle and lower the hammer to your nose. Eh, I chickened out. I used to be able. I think I still have pretty strong wrists and fingers… but not like when I was 40. 🙂

    Mom is 94 and gets more and more anxious every day. It becomes the whole ‘quality of life’ issue.

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  14. I retired sixteen years ago at age 64. I did the math, and figured that the extra cash I’d receive if I waited another year was not worth the daily frustrations and hassles of my job, so I quit.

    I haven’t looked back. No more phone calls in the middle of the night that the school’s fire alarm has gone off; no more remote controls flushed down the toilet in a boys bathroom; no more calls at six o’clock in the morning that the school’s cook hasn’t showed up for work.

    Unlike a lot of retirees that I know, I didn’t try to fill my schedule with obligations that I had volunteered for; I wanted to be able to spontaneously do things when the spirit moved me and the opportunity arose. I did plenty of volunteering throughout my career, and I felt absolutely no guilt, cutting back on those activities.

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  15. I retired from MPR in November 2014 after 23 years in the Duluth office. At first it was trying to get control of physical issues that ended up with a hip replacement. Now it’s a knee issue…but. I still feed two horses, feed two goats and milk one, feed chickens, cats and dog twice a day. Good exercise. I continue to be president of our local Sons of Norway Lodge and secretary of the Carlton County historical Society board. I’ll be 82 in January. And for the first time in 30 years, I have a crush on a guy (been single since 1986). Listening to the Morning Show on Radio Heartland on Monday brought back so many good memories of working at MPR, working with Dale and Jim Ed when they would do programs in Duluth, Grand Marais and Hibbing.
    Now the thing I have the least ability to do is cleaning my house. At my age, I should be clearing and upgrading…or hiring someone! I do like retirement and I do like my days and feel like I must be much younger than 82…

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    2. Count your blessings, Cynthia, and I know you do, but to be in good health at our age is truly a gift. Sure, we can do our part to be in as good a shape as possible, but some things are just not within our control.

      I love that you’re active and enjoying your life, and if you can squeeze a little romance in late in life, more power to you.

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  16. ps. Today is the anniversary of my father’s death. He was only 70. His mother/my grandmother died in November at 100. My mother died at 88 on a Christmas Eve. Tough memories this time of year.

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  17. I love being retired. I could be the poster child for retirement. Not as much volunteering as I thought I would do (some my fault, some fault of places where I want to volunteer). But I still seem to be filling my days, so I’m not too worked up about it.

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  18. I’m happy I can still walk, speak, see and hear pretty normally. While those things remain, life can go on without a whole lot of changes.

    Some things surprise me. I don’t have the focus I used to have a few decades ago. Not sure if this is due to normal aging, or an artifact of the hyper-digital information overload that is part of everybody’s life these days.

    That unfocused feeling and the mild deterioration of my eyesight makes it harder to read. I had an eye doctor years ago who assured me that I had just the right amount of nearsightedness in my left eye that I’d always be able to rea comfortably. Turns out he wasn’t considering the Fuch’s dystrophy and cataracts that were in my future. There are reading glasses, or course, but you have to have a pair close at hand when you need them. There are also large print books, and e-books. Audio books have been a real blessing for me. Having someone read to me both resolves the vision problems and prevents my attention from wandering as easily.

    Having always been a reader, I just didn’t expect I’d have to make adjustments to maintain that habit.

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  19. The other thing that frustrates me is that if I’m sitting in the living room and the phone rings in the kitchen, and I get up, the answering machine will have kicked in by the time I get to the phone. That didn’t happen when I was 30 or 40.

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