2024, Family, Gatherings, Mysteries

Dressed to Impress

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YA and were invited to a nice party over the weekend – a surprise 70th birthday party for a friend.  The invite didn’t mention any particular dress code but the party was held in a big lovely home up in Kenwood and it seemed like dressing up would be the right way to go. 

Dressing up is not something that I’ve ever been good at.  Pandemic, furlough and retirement has not helped.  I do have a pair of black palazzo pants so I started there but was struggling with a top to go with the pants.  Static didn’t help.  At one point YA came in and said “why don’t you just wear a dress?”  

Well, because I no longer own a dress.  I decided to look in the attic to make sure I wasn’t forgetting about any dresses but no, nothing.  I don’t even remember the last dress I owned or when it left the house, presumably in a goodwill/value village bag. 

I did find a top to go with the palazzo pants and the party was great but I kept thinking the rest of the weekend, “should I invest in a dress”?  Probably not a good use of income since I also can’t remember the last time the thought of wearing a dress even crossed my mind. 

When was the last time you dressed up?

48 thoughts on “Dressed to Impress”

  3. I have one suit I bought in 2006 when my Dad died. Since then I have only worn it to funerals as others have stated above and at most of the memorial services I’ve attended lately a suit would make me conspicuously overdressed.

    One thing I have wondered is about current style in formal wear. Is my suit noticeably out of style? How could I tell? Do I care? I’m not going to buy another suit.

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    1. Many years ago, Jerry, my taciturn and cantankerous Saab mechanic, asked whether I was considering investing in a new(er) Saab. When I responded that I wasn’t, that I figured my then current one would last my lifetime, he wryly commented: “Oh, so this is your death car.” That conversation promptly flashed into my mind about your suit, Bill. “Oh, so this is your death suit?” (though I doubt that you aspire to be laid out in a suit, when the time comes.)

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        2. I won’t be the one planning my memorial, if there is one, but I would hope it doesn’t entail being laid out, or a casket for that matter.

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        8. I agree, that’s one mainstream American practice that doesn’t appeal to me. Yet I am fascinated by the various cultural practices surrounded death and dying all over the world.

          Which brings to mind a rather obscure Japanese film – “Departures.” It’s a quiet film that deals with “the gentle clash between ritual and grief, custom and modernity.” It’s a film worth watching. If I remember correctly, it won an Oscar for best foreign-language film.

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  4. A couple or more years before Covid. No idea what for. Maybe a funeral for a suit, which would be 15-17 years ago. I tried on a pair of my dress pants last week. Much too large after my loss of height and of pounds. I know so few people here and never go north. Missed many funerals up there. If anything does come up, it will be an emgergency buy and fitting. I suppose the next funeral will be mine or Sandra’s but both will be memorials with no rush to them.

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  5. Several times a year I have to go to District Court hearings as an expert witness or to testify to psychological evaluation reports. I dress up on those occasions, in a skirt, sweater, and matching tights. I need new tights since all mine have runs in them. Everyone at work says”Dr. B must be going to court” when they see me, since I usually wear corduroy pants, sweaters and Haflinger clogs.

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  6. Dressing up now consists of wearing some nice pants that aren’t jeans or tights (leggings), and a top that isn’t a t-shirt or sweatshirt. I do have some nice gauzy tops in warm weather.
    I own some longish skirts that get worn every few summers, and there is a dress somewhere that a friend gave me that I’ve never worn…

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  7. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    This entire post is making me laugh. In the last year and some it was “Four Funerals and a Wedding”. I dressed up for those. I wore a black skirt to the funerals and a dressy tunic and pants to the wedding. Nobody at any of these events cared what I wore. With my summer retirement came “lifestyle changes” including wardrobe. I culled my wardrobe last fall, giving up the work clothing. Ahhh. Recently I am pre-occupied with managing life with water aerobics. Thankfully the swimsuit does not require accessories. Just a towel and flip flops.

    The flip flops became an issue due to the plantar faciaitis. Regular flip flops are thin and unsupportive. But I have found Oofos which are soft and supportive, allowing me to walk on cement from the locker room to the pool, which is a hike. It is too far to hop and limp in regular flip flops. The Oofos solved the problem. And I finally obtained my custom orthotic, so the foot is starting to feel better some days.

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  8. I have quite a bit of “concert black” in my wardrobe – nice slacks & tops, a velour top and long skirt, a velour top and pants, a couple of dresses, dressy short boots, dressy tall boots, nice leggings, etc. I have several sundresses for hot weather – they allow for lots of air circulation to help me stay comfortable. I also have a few “dress up” dresses. I wore a couple of them to the recent weddings of my two youngest nieces. The hardest part of “dress up” for me is shoes. I never could wear high heels comfortably so I stick with medium to low heels or wedge heels. Also, I have tiny feet (size 4.5 or 5) so it’s hard to find decent dress shoes.

    At home I dress very casually – jeans, sweaters, sweatshirts in cold weather and shorts/capri pants, sleeveless tops or tees in warm/hot weather. Footwear is usually tennis shoes or comfy flip flops.

    I never did need a work wardrobe since we wore hospital supplied scrubs. It was like wearing pajamas at work. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind dressing up once in a while.

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  9. Oh, like sleeves?
    I bought three work shirts with short sleeves just this past summer. The sleeves drove me nuts so I cut them 3″ shorter and hemmed them up using different color thread and random fancy stitches.

    Kelly and I went to dinner at one of the Mayo Clinic fancy homes, (The Foundation House) this summer. It was a work thing for Kelly. I wore sleeves that night. And probably black pants.

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  12. Like most men here, probably the last “formal” funeral I attended. Some 15-20 years ago, my wife made me buy a “weddings and funeral” suit, a few dress shirts, and a few new ties. I think I’ve worn that suit to one wedding and a few funerals. Everyone seems to dress down so much these days that I feel like a dork wearing a suit and tie if I’m not in a corporate office building–which is rare anyway.

    Chris in Owatonna

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  13. The term “dressed up” means something completely different today than it once did. I pretty much gave up on “formal” attire when I quite the law firm.

    I still like to put on some of my fancier duds when we go out to eat or attend a play or a concert. What I wear to a funeral very much depends on who the deceased was. I just didn’t seem appropriate to show up a Edith’s memorial service in “traditional” funeral drab. Nor would Steve have expected a bunch of suits at his. My friend Philip, on the other hand, most definitely would have appreciated that everyone at his services had put on their Sunday go-to meeting clothes.

    By “my fancier duds” I mean a couple of colorful tunics or blouses, linen pants in various colors, and three or four different one-of-a-kind jackets bought at various art fairs. Depending on the temperature outside, I can usually put together something that makes sense, at least to me.

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  14. again i’m the outlier
    goodwill is my suit source
    i have lots and enjoy the coat shirt pants shoes overall flavor
    belt or suspenders and sox are factored in also

    my amazon instacart deliveries get regular comments as my forklift driving did when i loaded unloaded trucks at my warehouse

    hats are the final touch

    top coats can be fun

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  15. We had a pretty casual workplace. We had to wear clean clothing without holes or fringe. As long as it was clean and in good repair, it was fine. It was a home environment and we were caregivers, so comfort was key. I always had a problem with bleach, which I used for cleaning. Sometimes I would take a nice, new t-shirt out of the dryer at home and notice it had pinkish spots on it where the bleach had splashed and ruined it.

    I really enjoy going out with friends to a concert or dinner or some event. I live in sweat pants and sweatshirts at home, so it’s nice to get dressed up once in a while. Dressed up for me means a nice pair of jeans and a nice sweater. I like wearing tunic-length tops or knee length dresses with leggings. I found a velour suit jacket with a lace placket in the back that was missing a button in the thrift store in Northfield. I bought it for $5. I put new buttons on it and washed it gently. Now it looks great and would be great for a concert or a swanky shindig.

    I don’t remember the last time I got really dressed up. I do have a few dresses because they’re so comfortable in summer, but they’re not really the kind you would go to a wedding or a funeral in. I don’t wear pumps or heels or any typical women’s footwear. I wear Birks and I won’t change on that one. I hope I don’t have to dress up for anything. I don’t do it well.

    I’m learning knitting! I started a class yesterday and I’m doing well. The teacher wore knitted socks and wrist warmers. I thought she was dressed perfectly. She wore a turtleneck under a corduroy jumper (dress, not sweater) with leggings, her knitted socks, and a pair of Birks.

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  16. Like tim, I am an outlier. I own dresses and I actually wear them. Not daily – but when there is an occasion, or I just feel like I want to wear something a little stepped up from jeans for the odd day I go into the office, I have a few. Recently it has been things like Holiday concerts, shows, a party, and, yes, one memorial service (I was speaking, so had to be sure I looked presentable). My favorite dresses are some that are drape-y soft knit in solid colors (I have a few – some short sleeved, some long, in different colors to suit a variety of occasions), and some vintage-inspired print dresses a friend turned me onto – pretty much all of them have pockets and require little or no ironing. It may not be weekly, but it’s at least once or twice a month that I have an excuse to put on something a little more formal than my usual jeans and sweatshirts.

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  17. I dressed up for my niece’s wedding. I had a nice brown dress I bought at St. Vinnie’s, black tights and black shoes I think.

    The thing I remember about that day was that I was at the reception venue because I was helping with the table decor and flowers. I was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, but had the dress and shoes and everything in a bag, figuring I’d change at the church. I was getting a ride to the church with the wedding planner, a very nice and efficient woman whose name is slipping my mind, so I’ll call her Kelly.

    When it came time to leave for the church, I hadn’t quite finished with everything I wanted to tke care of, so I asked one of the helpers to finish putting the babies’ breath in the garland, and hurried to get down to Kelly’s car.

    We were going by freeway from downtown St. Paul to Highland. When we were en route, Isuddenly realized I had completely forgotten the bag with my change of clothes in it.

    I asked Kelly if we had time to go back, apologizing profusely and feeling really stupid. She turned around and was completely unruffled and gracious about it. I kept thinking, she must be just gritting her teeth and silently cursing me, but she never betrayed a moment’s irritation.

    While we were heading back to the reception venue, almost there, Kelly got a call from my niece. They’d forgotten to bring the marriage license. They thought it was still at the reception venue, in the room where the groom and his buddies had gotten dressed and prepared. Kelly told them it was no problem, she’d find it and bring it. So we would have had to go back anyway.

    We arrived shortly at the venue and searched for the marriage license, which was on a table under some napkins and the remnants of some fancy drinks in the groom’s room. I found my bag and we rushed back to the car and set out again.

    When we were on the freeway, the westbound lanes were moving quickly, but there had been an accident in the eastbound lanes, and traffic was creeping along, almost at a standstill. Kelly turned to me and said, “You know, if we hadn’t turned around when we did – if we had had to go back when Mollie’s call came through instead – we’d be stuck in that traffic jam right now. You did everybody a huge favor when you forgot that bag.” I was so relieved, and I still feel rather grateful to her for making a point, not only to not blame me for being disorganized, but to thank me for it.

    We got there before the ceremony started and I had time to slip into a bathroom and change.

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    1. Kelly sounds like a perfect travel companion. When you’ve made really stupid mistakes, you want to be with someone who isn’t going to make that the point of the journey.

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  18. I also have a dress that I think of a farmer’s market dress. People watching at the farmer’s market is fun, and a lot of the women put on long flowing dresses and look very picturesque. So I have a dress that I sometimes wear there, with a denim vest.

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