2024, Government, Uncategorized, Words

The New Normal

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Well, today is my last day of full time work. I will be off for a month, and then start part time work at my agency doing evaluations after March 1. I am quite happy about this. I have no unfinished  paperwork, and my therapy clients have been transferred to other therapists. Husband will keep on with his part time work. He is housed at my agency but is employed by the Human Service Center in Bismarck.

The past several months have been stressful because of getting all the necessary paperwork in to the the State Retirement office, applying for Medicare B and Social Security, and tying up loose ends. I had to formally apply for the part time position that was only advertised at my agency. I was the only applicant, as expected, and I had to dredge up my old resume, something that I haven’t had to use for a couple of decades. My colleagues are upset, and I find myself comforting them and reassuring them that I will only be gone for a month and then I will be back. That is getting tiresome. I feel  like a parent having to reassure anxious children. They also kept asking if I wanted a retirement party, but I said that since I was returning in a month that would be sort of silly. 

Everyone keeps asking me what I am going to do when I retire. My stock answer is “Clean the house”.  I have discovered that at my age I can either have a clean house or work full time. I can’t do both. People seem to expect that I will do exotic travel. My new normal will be to have more time to sort through our things preparatory to moving and feel less stressed.

How do you handle life transitions? What do you miss the most from your longest held job? What don’t you miss at all?

 

27 thoughts on “The New Normal”

  1. In mid-2018 we packed up and left Taiwan, which had been our home since 1982, and where we had each spent a couple of years in the 70s before we wed. We were “ecclesiastically employed”. Let’s leave that there.

    I knew that I was heading for a big change, because I had married a woman from West Michigan, so retirement to California (my natal place) was out of the question. There’s nothing Taiwanese around here. I lost a language, I was unfit for “ecclesiastical employment” in the local environment, and I am a warm-weather person.

    I listened to a LOT of Springsteen; A TON OF SPRINGSTEEN, both before leaving Taiwan and after arriving in Michigan.

    It took the better part of 2 years to get over the shock. But the drastic transition, akin to ripping a bandage off of a wound, was the only way. I meet monthly for lunch with some other folks who have made similar transitions, not for therapy or for telling of war stories, but for lunch. When I see someone who “still has his hand in,” I’m no longer envious. I wonder why he or she can’t just drop it and settle.

    No “going back” for me to do anything but vote for the President of Taiwan, which only happens every 4 years. I’m happily retired. My avocations now include making stuff rom bits of broken glass and writing songs that voices will never share.

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      1. my mom was lamenting that her china wasnt on anyones list of stuff they had dibbs on. and i reminded her that i said id love it after the girls decided it wasnt for them, our gatherings with 5 kids snd spouses/ significant others are up to 13 adults and 5 grandkids so the 12 place settings will be used. the soup tureen and gravy boat are inspiring, ill bet a little bubble wrap and a few styrofoam peanuts could get it to renee for a mere click on the visa at the ups store. my moms breakfront needs to come with the china and that may be an issue. its the size of an upright piano

        ill have to jockey a few paintings to make room

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      2. Our home is FULL of China, inherited from my mother-in-law. We have sets (plural) that we will never use, but can’t pass along to a thrift store, because, “they belonged to mom.” I suggest that you smash yours into little bits and make interesting mosaics.

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        1. Making mosaics with broken glass is your hobby. I do not think I need to add another hobby to my life at this stage of the game.

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  2. CONGRATULATIONS. From an extremely happy retired person…. Wecome to the Club. However you should know that I also said that my house would be clean in retirement and that hasn’t exactly happened yet!

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  3. congrats renee, youve been talking about it forever and now its here. my daughter wanted to go into psychology and i discouraged her because listening to other peopkes problems all day has got to be exhausting. im not sure it was good advice but it was how i felt at the time. truth is it is a vital community service and that is the culfilling part. well youve done your time now take your month, come back part time and ween yourself off the north dakota government gig on route to the laverne drive in movie and your new life. (it came up on the radio that laverne is on of the last remaining drive in movie theaters left on the planet)

    are you decided what youre doing in laverne as far as housing? buying? building? have you gotcacreal estate agent or anybody looking out for properties? are you looking for a place where you can garden? ill bet very few people target laverve as their go to spot. with a little planning ill bet you can set yourself up for a wonderful next 30 or 40 years.

    i think of all the places i drive through that i think… this would be a great place to live and youve got that all figured out.
    the part time transition should be a nice way to transition.
    how big will the box be that you carry your stuff out in? i always see those guys with a box the size of three loafs of bread and realize a photo and a couple nik naks is what is required to make it your space and is easy to put in a box.

    its the people and interactions i miss or at least remember fondly. but the reality is that the next breath brings new people and new interactions that are part of todays life going forward. its possible to sit in the house with online stuff and get a full schedule but i have so many passions i will becin heaven trying to pick the one that i give my attention.
    one of my guitar friends simply plays guitar all day snd goes around finding different jams to join. id love woodworking and painting canvas and watercolor. hiking and my dogs could eaaily fill a couple hours a day with trip to yellowstone banff mexico and the lake district every 6 months.
    cooking sorting stuff through the days wekks month years along with grand kids, new friends old friends podcasts great movies and i hear there are all sorts of tv series to see. concerts plays beaches twins games sailing biking exercise and my brain still has new ideas to pursue snd develop quick before i cant
    i bet youll be good,
    enjoy

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  5. Yesterday I was formally offered the part time position at my agency, and I will officially start on March 4. I will really miss doing play therapy, which has always been the favorite part of my.job.

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  6. Congratulations, Renee!

    I don’t know if I’ve always handled transitions well. I think I’ve gotten better with age. Transitions for me have been either job-related or a relationship ending. I usually have to spend some time alone after a transition. I tend to change some other habits too so that I leave the “old ways” completely behind. I try to eat well, hike in the woods, and take care of my health during these times.

    I spend more time alone these days, which forces me to go look for new groups to join and new friends to hang with. I’ve been successful in the past year, and that makes me feel pretty good. I’ve gotten to know some great people, including the couple who invited me to spend a week with them in Mazatlan after only knowing me for a little more than a year.

    I still have some loyal friendships from my first job at the hospital in Faribault, but I miss the fun, pranks, and camaraderie of those days in the hospital. One prank was to acquire a toy plastic rat, stretch a piece of Saran Wrap over the toilet bowl under the seat, place the rat on it, then close the lid. There were others which I won’t describe.

    The other thing that I won’t describe at all was the thing I liked the least.

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  7. I’m not trying to be flippant, but I’m not sure there’s anything I miss from working. It’s so funny because I really did enjoy my job, but it was always just a job. Most of the friends that I made at work over the years had already left the company by the time I retired. Those friends I retained but there aren’t really a lot of people left at the company that I miss. And in a strange turn of events, one of those few people just got fired yesterday. I don’t have all the details yet, but I don’t miss that kind of thing either.

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  8. I miss being more active. My work helped keep the weight and blood pressure down. This being more sedentary is not healthy. Knowing that hasn’t prevented me from getting physically lazy.
    I don’t miss the frequent impossible situations sales people put me in. Impossible schedule.
    Impossible manpower.
    Impossible job site conditions
    Impossible to please contractors.
    Impossible to please fellow workers
    Impossible to please owners
    Impossible to please self.

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  9. I have been retired from hospital nursing for nearly 14 years. I knew I wouldn’t miss the hours (even though the night shift was my preference), working holidays, the computer charting, and the “politics”. I thought I would miss taking care of the babies but surprisingly I don’t. What I do miss is the easy camaraderie with my fellow workers. We retirees do get together at least a couple times a year which is a lot of fun. And every year the group gets larger.

    I started accompanying middle school choirs while still working. Once retired, that expanded greatly until it was nearly a full time (mostly volunteer) job. During the pandemic years, that cut back dramatically. I realized that it was OK being home more. Now I still accompany at two middle schools but only go to rehearsals for the week or two before a concert. And now I am paid by both schools. I plan to keep on with the music until my hands give out.

    Retirement (and less music) has allowed me to travel the world with like minded friends. I’ll keep doing that as long as my health (and $$) holds up.

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  11. Of course, all sorts of unexpected things have popped up that need my immediate attention. I am super busy! I need to have it all done before I leave for the day.

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  12. I usually handle transitions pretty well, esp. if there is enough time to plan for it – think moving house, or quitting a job. Unexpected death or illness (stroke) are trickier, and then what has helped is a community of well loved people.

    In any job I have missed, at least in part, it has been because of the people left behind. A couple of times when I was able to still be in relationship with these people, no problem at all letting go of the job. This is true of volunteer work as well as the paid jobs.

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  13. CONGRATULATIONS RENEE!

    Like everyone else is saying, what I miss is the daily contact with friends. That leaves an empty spot, but we get together now at different times. What amazes me is that because of retirement funds and social security there is still money coming in which just seems unbelievable to me (yes I saved for it! But still…). I love having time with fewer demands and getting to pursue some interests like the Master Gardener program and the Arboretum Auxilliary. There seem to be many opportunities to meet new friends, as well.

    I adjust most gracefully when I take the transition in slow stages. Selling my business in 2016, then working part time, then more part time was a good way to go for me. And no, I do not miss it. I was ready to go.

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  14. As I drove home from the office this afternoon, I turned on the radio, and the XM Boadway station was playing Defying Gravity from Wicked. I took that as a huge affirmation!

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  15. Congratulations, Renee! Happy (semi) retirement!

    I worked for many years at various iterations of the same company. The people were wonderful, I enjoyed the work, but the business was unstable, with many ownership changes. Layoffs came more frequently and it was finally my turn. Many of the people let go were older/more experienced people I’d worked with for 20 years. Needless to say, it’s hard to transition easily in a case like that and I was pretty miserable for a while. I did enjoy having the summer off–the old job was busiest in summer and I never got to take a summer vacation.

    I have a new job now but miss the people I used to work with and haven’t developed strong friendships at the new place yet. My friends group from the old place still gets together several times a year and we text each other a lot.

    I like to work so I’m not ready to retire, but on busy days I think about what I’ll do when I retire. There are a lot of books waiting on the shelves, and I’d love to do more cooking, baking, and traveling.

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  16. Congratulations Renee! Enjoy your garden, cooking and preparing for the move. Be careful that you stay part time- I tried to cut back earlier but was back to full time when I retired from physician practice in 2016. After retirement I did volunteer work at the hospital until the pandemic. I was grateful for the free time to allow downsizing and preparation for moving to a place that had memory care for my husband. But I am still downsizing!
    I miss the patients, the problem solving and coworkers but not the hours or call. I lead gardening efforts for 3 garden areas and have found out the limitations of raised beds. My piano playing has improved with daily practice. I exercise to get in shape after joint replacement and now eat mostly a plant based diet which has caused a shift in my cooking (which I enjoy). I guess you are never too old to take on challenges ie cooking with tofu, minimal salt etc.

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