2025, Family, Health, home, Travel, Uncategorized

One Step At A Time

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I have often written about Husband’s frets and worries, but if I am completely honest, his anxiety doesn’t hold a candle to mine.

This has been a sleep deprived week for me due to progress we made toward moving to Minnesota. A local realtor is coming to the house today to give us the lowdown on what we can sell this place for, and I got some financial stuff done so that we can contact a realtor in Luverne next week to start looking for a place for us there. We plan to buy in Luverne before we list this place in Dickinson. I even found a Dickinson moving company that will move us.

My anxiety comes from getting too far ahead of myself. I woke up at 1:00 am on Wednesday worrying how my best friend, who is moving in with us, would get a Real ID driver’s license if none of the utility bills in Luverne are in her name. This is completely irrational, and it shouldn’t be a problem, but that is how far ahead of myself I am getting. I keep telling myself “One step at time!” to slow myself down. The progress we made toward moving is good, but it also makes real all the unknowns about what is going to actually happen. I hate not being in control!

Do worries wake you up at night? Who have been memorable control freaks in your life?

26 thoughts on “One Step At A Time”

  1. Worries don’t wake me up at night. Needing to pee wakes me up at night. I’m an old man.
    I try to avoid control freaks. They’re exhausting (and delusional).

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  2. I once said: “Never let yourself be consumed by desperation. Stay calm, even in the most challenging moments. This is just a period of trial, as all great men before you have faced. Greatness does not arise from emotional chaos or despair, but from discipline and strength. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow, to strengthen your character, and to show who you truly are. Face every trial with determination, for it is in these moments that your true self is forged.”

    Denzel Washington

    me and denzel agree

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  3. there was a time 30 years ago when angst kicked my ass and i had to figure out how to get over the hump. its an ongoing process and a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and trusting your choices. someone elses choices would never do and while learning from mistakes stings there is no other way id chiose.

    excited to hear about the move as it becomes reality. its been back burner stuff for a while and now here it comes.

    how fun.

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  4. Yes, I’ve had worries that wake me up at night, and make me toss and turn for hours in tangled sheets. Those days are mostly behind me now, but lately I’m feeling anxious about the state of our country. Events over the past week have caused my anxiety to skyrocket. The discussion yesterday about yoga (and meditation) are pertinent here. Yes, I’ve done yoga. I’m not “good” at it but it does feel good to me. I try meditative breathing exercises daily, and I find them helpful. Not the one in which you breathe through one nostril at a time though. That’s just annoying, and makes me feel short of breath.

    My mom was a super control freak. (She of the extreme carpet vacuuming method.) I think this might be where I picked up some of my mild OCD habits. Mom had other control issues too. My behavior was one of her biggest control challenges. I never succeeded in making her feel like I could be trusted to be her replacement in the world.

    I also had some nursing supervisors who were control freaks. I became a practical nurse back in the day when nurses still wore support hose, white shoes, a white uniform (dress) and their white hats. I have frizzy, fuzzy hair and I was constantly criticized for not being able to capture all of it and put it up tightly under the starched white hat. There was a lot of control in nursing in those days. I think it’s friendlier and more relaxed now, which is good. Nurses aren’t soldiers. They’re people who want to help others. The stiffness and discomfort of those uniforms and hats didn’t help.

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    2. I had a co-worker at one job who had been trained in an old style nursing program with the same uniform you describe. She also was taught to curtsy when a Dr. entered the scene!

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  5. Usually just some imminent thing I’m responsible for. I haven’t had any UU stuff for a couple of weeks, and it’s been that long since I had a hard time getting back to sleep in mid-night. Till last night – our friend’s memorial is this Saturday, and there are the 10,000 things to remember… I should have gotten up and written some down.

    I am the control freak in my life…

    (I won’t be on the Trail much now, till Sunday.)

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  7. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    I only awaken in the night anxious on rare occasions, and those are usually worth worrying about. I have experienced a few control freaks in my life. The closest was my mother. All I can say about that is this: it really ruins all parts of a relationship and destroys trust. I moved away, out of her direct field of influence to distance myself from the toxic effects of her need to control. That way I could still have some relationship but not destroy myself. It has been a journey.

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      1. And I meant to say, Renee, congratulations on getting to the point of moving to your retirement community. Good luck with house hunting and selling.

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      1. Our realtor wants us to take pictures of all our plants blooming now so people can see what they look like if we don’t list this until after they are done blooming.

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  9. I had trouble last night. Not anxious about appointment itself, just that I will oversleep for 7:40. I used to make them that early because it fit better for my time with Sandra. Now it does not. Appointment went fine. Banana, sunrise, cheer.

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  10. Oh Yeah, it’s hard to get my brain to stop some nights…And once I get something in there, It’s hard to get it back out. I’ve always said I like lighting and being backstage because I have control issues.

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  11. I’m more in Bill’s camp for waking up at night. Very occasionally my brain starts a to-do list after I get back in bed after a bathroom break. I used to recite the openings to my two favorite books to myself, or the first 5 mintues of the dialogue from the movie Laura. These days I do the ABCs using animals… antelope, baboon, chinchilla, dhole, eland….. I usually don’t get past K-L-M-N. Try to change up the animals every time.

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    1. I try not to engage my mind at all. It helps to get in a receptive, language-free frame of mind, especially visually, and just let whatever pictures or patterns or colors flit by.

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  12. I have an appointment on Monday to talk with the realtor in Luverne. One benefit of living in the same place and home for 37 years is that people know you. When I found out that our Dickinson realtor really wanted us to paint the basement walls, I just phoned the woman who has been helping us with our decorating since 1988, and explained the color we were looking at. She sold us the carpet we installed last year, and found a shade of pale grey that would go well with it, gave me the color number, as well as the numbers of 5 local painters. (She doesn’t sell paint anymore, but has all the color numbers of all the paints). I didn’t even have to leave the house. Right now, though, I need things so slow down.

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  13. Tomorrow after the painter leaves we are heading to the Twin Buttes Powwow to see dear friends. I need a break.

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