2025, Family, home, Uncategorized

New Beginnings

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Husband and I find ourselves exhausted these days. We are sorting through our stuff, packing some and throwing some out. We also are at our jobs finishing the last of our professional work, keeping up the house and garden, and going through the work of selling one home and buying another. Husband commented that we are living in the past, present, and future all at once.

I have tried to imagine what it will be like once we move to our new community. I haven’t lived there for almost 50 years. There are still quite a few high school classmates and other people I know there, and I have been thinking how I want to reintegrate into the community. I think it would be a mistake to live in the past, as I am not the same person I was 50 years ago, and I doubt they are the same people they were. We integrated ourselves into our ND community 38 years ago by going to community events, joining a church, and through our jobs. I hope the we can have the same new beginning in our new home.

How have you integrated yourself into the communities you have lived in? How are you different now than you were 50 years ago?

37 thoughts on “New Beginnings”

  1. Seven years ago, today, we arrived in Holland, MI from Taiwan, where we had resided since 1982. My wife’s widowed mother and my wife’s sister were already here, so we didn’t come to a place devoid of connections, but neither did we integrate into town based on their networks.
    My wife joined the senior center to take advantage of the exercise classes and was selected by another retiree to be a friend. They have since become very close.
    I joined the local Tool Library, where I discovered a group of people who had no leader. After 2 years, I had become “that guy”, mainly because I would staff the place. We joined a church within which we have each found “our people”. I became active in the Neighborhood Association.
    We bought season tickets to the local college’s Summer Repretory Theater and, eventually, to the Great Performances concert series.
    What we didn’t do was make “what’s on TV” the pivot point of our daily or weekly schedules.
    It has worked out. We have friends now. When we were in Taiwan, we had a lot of colleagues, but not a lot of friends.

    When you arrive in Luverne, depend initially on those old connections, but don’t let those define the limits of what you eventually become.

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  2. Like David, our joining the Winona’s senior center was a real help – the classes, a book club, and people there steered us to some volunteer groups… Volunteering is a great way to meet good people. And no doubt you’ll find a church, which always has all kinds of involvement opportunities.

    Is Luverne large enough to have a community chorus or theater, Renee?

    I’m much less idealistic than I was 50 years ago, not always a good thing. I’m more sure of myself, but at the same time I know my limitations.

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  3. When we moved to Owatonna in 2000, I applied to be a Big Brother fairly soon after settling in. Made it 20 years and met some great people as well as my amazing Little Brothers. Number two, Ethan, just graduated from high school in June! SUCCESS!

    My wife worked 10 hour days most of her career at Federated Ins., so she didn’t have much time to socialize. She’s more of an introvert than I am. But she started going to dinner with other wives of Federated Ins. employees (although she was one of three Fed employees in the group out of about 12 regular attendees). That group has met weekly for more than 20 years. She also started a book club that has been going strong for maybe 15 years. And she was on the hospital board for nine years.

    I connected with other golfers at the course and have known several dozen for 25 years. We just get together at golf. Most of the guys socialize outside of golf, but that’s not for me.

    Being an author of minor note, I’m a “mini-celebrity” in town only because lots of people have read my books, recognize me, and say hi quite often (or “When’s your next book coming out?????”).

    We don’t qualify as “townies.” Never will because we aren’t 3rd or 4th generation folks. But we’re comfortable living here and feel like we’re at least part of the community.

    My current self is definitely wiser than the young me. Slightly the worse for wear, but doing pretty darn well for my age. I’m probably more opinionated than my earlier self, just because I’ve experienced more events, heard other POVs, met more diverse people, and have had decades to figure out what’s wrong with the world. That list is unfortunately longer than the list of what’s right with the world.

    Most importantly, I’m eternally thankful for the life I’ve achieved (or been given, still not sure of the reasons that life can be good or bad). Not always based on one’s choices. There’s definitely some luck involved. I try to be grateful for every good thing that comes my way, and handle adversity the best I can.

    Chris in Owatonna

    ***BSP*** Riverwalk Market Fair in downtown Northfield tomorrow, Saturday, from 9-1 at Bridge Square. You don’t want to miss this if you’re a band geek like me because it’s the day of the annual Vintage Band Festival. Many amazingly good groups will perform most of the day on stage at Bridge Square. Free to all.

    And if you need a good book to read, or get some fresh produce, baked goods, BBQ sauce, or many other gift items, it’s the place to be. A full slate of vendors will be there, including me. Hope to see you there. ***END BSP***

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  4. For a variety of reasons I never fit into any community very well in Mankato. Sandy’s dementia removed me from the couple of places where I had some casual friends. I presume I will be leaving here in a few months. Will have to think about what I do to fit in at that new place or maybe not. I am wondering if I should move into a senior residency. Sounds stiffling. But maybe not.
    O.T. I have an extreme migraine from the smoke. How are the rest of you doing?

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    3. I struggled with migraine last Saturday through Monday as the high pressure system movedin. Now I have a raw throat and scratchy nose and eyes, and a dull headache. Ready for this to move on.

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    5. I think I have some sort of allergy to smoke, Clyde. This year, my eyes have been quite watery and my nose runny when we have Air Quality alerts. Today the eyes are bugging me a lot.

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  6. Rise and Shine, Baboons,

    Fifty years ago I was probably unrecognizable compared now. I thought of myself as a small-town girl, but I had never lived in a city. I did not understand at all that I had the option to say no to other people, make my own decisions, and everyone else would eventually get over it. Lesson learned, though. So now I am wiser old lady in so-so health who enjoys life more than I did then.

    It has been a long time since I moved to a new community. We have lived in the same area now for 35 years. As a young adult I moved often. Workplaces, churches, and other friends usually served to meet many people. I find it much easier to live in urban/suburban areas than small towns. People are much more accepting, and no one expects you to be from a long established family. I enjoy that. Now I think of myself as an urban/suburban person with access to cultural events and health care.

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      2. Do you like that? You must or you would not choose to return. There must have been something about the community you find satisfying. I do not understand it, which tells me my motivations about where I live are quite different than yours. What is your motivation for returning there?

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        1. I know the community. As an only child, my cousins were like siblings, and I have several cousins who live close by. Our son and his family live in Brookings, SD, which is close but not too close. I like the quirkiness of the town. While it is more conservative than other places in MN, it is not nearly as conservative as ND. My parents and infant brother are buried there. It is close, but not too close to Sioux Falls for airport and other services.

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  7. I grew up in Owatonna and lived there through elementary school. We moved to the lake near Faribault when I was going into junior high, so I started junior high there. It was really scary and a very tough transition for me. Owatonna and Faribault are very different communities. I had no plan or resources for learning how to fit in. I was young though, and did the best I could.

    I was quite lonely in Waterville, so I’ve been happier since I moved to Northfield. Like others, I joined the senior center, FiftyNorth, which is really a fantastic place. I’ve taken various classes, used the fitness room, pool, and exercise classes. I’ve met a lot of people and I’m having a blast. It took a long time, but now I know that I want to remain here instead of moving to Two Harbors, which had always been my plan. Having friends and community is very important.

    When I returned to working as a nurse in the group homes in Faribault, I was surprised to learn that I had changed a lot. Some of my old friends hadn’t seemed to grow or change much at all. I know I seem different to them, and it’s been a little awkward.

    I had childhood friends in Owatonna. They were lost to me after we moved. I never realized that I was grieving for them. I didn’t fit in well in Faribault when I was young. I was a sheltered, introverted kid, and I found it hard to make friends. In the past several years, I have reconnected with several old friends from Owatonna. It has been wonderful to reconnect with them.

    Chris mentioned not being a “townie.” I’ll never be a townie here in Northfield, but since my parents and grandparents were from Owatonna, I guess I’d be a townie there. I always think of Faribault as my home town because that’s where I graduated high school, but I don’t want to live there again.

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    2. I suspect that when you leave it will be very difficult for them and for you. You have been there a long time. It sounds like you have been an integral part of the community, so I think it will be rough.

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  11. I’ve known from a very young age that I would not be staying where I was born and grew up. I may have known subconsciously even earlier, but I started talking about it when I was about 12, saying that I was going to move to Wisconsin. That turned to Wisconsin or Minnesota when I was in high school. Came to school in Minnesota and never went back. None of the friendships I had when I was in high school survived that. And in fact, only a couple of friendships from college survived. When I got to the Twin Cities in 1980 was when I really started to put down what felt like real roots. Many many of my friends are ex work colleagues from my bakery days, my B Dalton days, my Software Etc. days and of course my BI days. I also have really good connections in my neighborhood and have maintained friendships with those neighbors that have moved away over the years. Then there’s my online community. So I guess my answer is to get to know your fellow coworker and/or give a lot of parties. And if a DJ you like starts a blog, follow him online. That’s what I do anyway.

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