2026, Computers, Family, Government, home, Media, Uncategorized

Approach/Avoidance

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Yesterday Husband and I successfully closed out a small retirement account he has had for years. The occasion marks a finale in business actions we have been deluged with for the past 14 months.

When I say “we” I really mean “me” since I am the one who has handled the bulk of address changes, registrations, and monetary decisions needed with our retirements and move. I am so sick of dealing on-line and over the phone with faceless beings, automated “helpers”, and pressing the needed number on the phone keypad to get my work done.

For some reason I was dreading this final transaction more than any of the others. I kept putting it off, finding more pressing things to do instead. It left me sleepless, and gave me bad dreams. I think the issue was that Husband had to do the bulk of the work on the phone, and that left me feeling out of control. I really didn’t want the control, but that is the essence of anxiety, I think. I am a master of avoidance.

Yesterday’s transaction went without a hitch. I am so relieved! Now it is just a matter of getting everything to our accountant to do our taxes. All I need to do is mail it, since I collected everything needed. My new task is to find the next thing I need to worry about.

What are you avoiding? What makes you anxious?

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37 thoughts on “Approach/Avoidance”

    2. I suppose I could consult with my professional self regarding this, but if I start talking to myself people will think there is something very wrong with me!

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  4. Rise and Shake in Your Shoes, Baboons,

    What makes me anxious? Right now, everything. Until the recent occupation by Federal Officers, I avoided news and listened to music instead. But this situation made me quite anxious. I tuned into news again to stay informed about where not to go. The overhead helicopters hovering over the park behind my house and in the neighborhood were a constant irritant as they harassed a school bus stop, a small ethnic market, and an apartment building about a half mile away. Several anticipated visitors from out-of-town delayed trips due to this. I have seen helicopters only twice this week and they are not in the park, only high overhead. So I am going back to the music of Radio Heartland. Right now it is Lyle Lovett singing about his wife–some comic relief. (The other comic relief was videos and stories about the protestors “dildo blitz” at the Whipple Building. One of husband’s caregivers was nearly arrested during one of these events).

    The other thing I would like to avoid, but I cannot avoid is reading scholarship applications for the Iowa 4H Foundation. The software that was to stream line this process did not work so we volunteers are hand scoring 24 applications. It is a lot and the scores are all due on Monday at noon. I have 10 done.

    I do avoid all financial “customer non-assistance” calls like Renee describes. What a system.

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  5. Shoveling the 4 inches of snow we got overnight, but thankfully our neighbors just got out the snowblower, and our front sidewalk is done!

    I’ve been avoiding some hard conversations about worse case scenarios as we complete the updating of our will, and our advanced directives. Uffda.

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    1. i had a lady appear at one of the breakfast groups i used to attend who was from a funeral home and the first time or two it felt like an intrusion but as she talked about how it made sense to deal with it she won me over. talking about death stuff is better to get resolved than to avoid it and have it get screwed up.

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  6. I’ve been waking up daily thinking about all the ICE traumas happening in the Twin Cities – we have friends with adult kids who are vulnerable… Everyone knows someone who has been in danger or at risk, it seems.

    And after he decided to rename the Dulles Airport, I wonder each day what fresh hell he will think up next.

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  7. Avoiding social media and most radio or TV news. I look at headlines online every morning, and will listen to MPR news programs until the articles about world problems I have no way of solving or helping are discussed. No point in obsessing or getting angry or frustrated over events I can’t control.

    I think back even to people’s lives 100 years ago. Most heard little about the outside world and they certainly didn’t have bad news jammed down their throats 24/7. We’ve allowed ourselves to become imprisoned by the information age and many people seem to be addicted to it now. Is it any wonder suicides keep rising in this country. How many people gave up because they just couldn’t take it anymore? Same might be true for the mass murderers.

    Thank god for music, comedy, fiction books, and the wild, natural world.

    Chris in Owatonna

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    1. Drive to the Cities, take the train to Chicago, change to a train to St. Louis, then change to the train to Kansas City. Do it in the reverse order on your way back. Let someone else deal with the traffic on every part except your drive to the cities.

      Stay in nice hotels overnight if you have to. Pamper yourselves.

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        1. I think this is true. I consider it, but then I consider the vet bills, the cost of dog food, etc… If I did get one, I would rescue a senior, calm dog.

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  9. I avoid avoidance, know myself as I do, by dealing with things as soon as they come up. Almost always. Yesterday my reminder for license tabs came up. So I bit the bullet and gathered all the required stuff and ordered them online.

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  12. I have a tendency toward anxiety and depression. My anxiety is much higher if I listen to the daytime talk on MPR sometimes, or if I read the comment sections on social media. I’ve really cut back on time spent on fb. There’s also so much misinformation, disinformation, and AI there. I feel better when I leave it alone.

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