Today Husband and I are going to the local travel agent to have her make airplane reservations for a late September trip to Denver. Husband’s siblings decided that we all needed to get together in Denver for their stepmother’s 90th birthday. It is a straight flight from Sioux Falls to Denver with no layovers. The travel agent is a high school classmate of mine.
I am the person in our family who goes on-line and makes all the reservations, books hotels, plans things, makes arrangements, etc. I look forward to the Denver gathering, but I found myself strangely reluctant to make the plane reservations, and I put it off all week. On Friday I finally forced myself to go to the United website to book the flights and found it impossible to navigate. I told Husband that we were going through the travel agent instead. I felt immediate relief. Husband agreed. He doesn’t want the stress, either.
It dawned on me that I am tired of being brave. I have been a “do it myself” sort of person all my life, and I think I am done. I don’t want the anxiety that goes with independently spending large amounts of money on difficult to navigate websites. I spent almost 40 years dealing with other people’s crises in my professional work, managing suicidal and homicidal people, testifying in court as an expert witness, managing our move here, and generally dealing with and solving problems and finding solutions. I finally convinced myself that it is ok to let other people do the work. I am embracing my inner coward and relaxing!
Is it easy or hard for you to accept help from others? When have you had to be brave?
Trail Baboon 
I am very resistant to asking for/ getting help. I’ve twice (at least) been forced to accept help through finding myself with no option.
I should learn.
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In my old age, I like to try to be helpful. One thing I do is answer questions in the “College and University Admissions” course at Khan Academy. A response that I often give to nervous young adolescents who want to know if they can do “this or that” is to choose the school to which they plan to apply, find the phone number of the admissions office there, make a call, and ask. It seems to me that what the young questioner wants to do is to ask a specific question in a general forum, where he or she won’t be embarrassed, rather than to get a quick and direct answer from someone who actually knows.
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Today, August 10, is World Lion Day.
I avoid situations requiring courage.
But this muskrat will guard his musk.
I am reluctant to ask for help. AAA
gets me out of auto situations.
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Boy, I can resonate with this post, Renee – I like to think of myself as a Can Do person, and way too often that’s how I act. But this line “found it impossible to navigate” mirrors why I now more often than not ask for help, find an alternative to doing things online.
I remember at one job, having to confront a co-worker about a behavior issue. That still sticks in my mind as one of my bravest acts… telling people something they don’t want to hear is very hard for me.
I am lucky that our senior center has people I can call on for help with techy things like the annual health Insurance options, etc.
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I’ve lived alone for most of my life, and I’ve been a homeowner since 1993. I’ve learned to be very self-sufficient. I won’t tackle things I know are beyond my abilities, though. For example, I won’t tackle carpentry, plumbing or electrical tasks, like the outlet out on the patio that no longer works.
I managed to do quite a bit of the planning for our trip to Ireland a couple years ago. I bought the flight tickets for all four of us, and tried to figure out seating for the flight to Boston, to Dublin, then the return flight back to Boston, then MSP. The Delta website drove me mad. I don’t know how many times I tried to get the seating assigned. It came up as part of the ticket purchase, but every time I went back to check it, it showed our seats as being available. I did it over and over again, and I finally had to call them to make sure our seats were assigned. We were all over the place on the plane. Some wanted windows, some wanted aisles. It was hard to get us all in the same area. I also booked an AirBnB house in Northern Ireland. So I felt like I did a lot of the organization for the trip.
I’m not afraid to ask for help if I need it. I’d rather do it myself if I can, though.
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We are all set for Denver! It was a breeze to get done. We are both relieved.
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Delegation is a sign of letting go. Good job.
The trouble with asking for help is people don’t do it like we want them to do it. And that’s why I do it myself!
Good help is hard to find…
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I have lived alone for about 50 years, so like Krista I have become very self sufficient. And I also don’t tackle electric, plumbing, or carpentry issues. I am reluctant to ask for help (stubborn Swede). But with my medical issues this summer I have had to rely on assistance. My family has been a huge help in dealing with financial issues, canceling two international trips (I should be in Korea right now on a choir tour), and getting moved into assisted living. I will still need some assistance as I work with PT to regain strength and stamina. And since I’m not allowed to drive yet, I have to rely on family and friends to get to appointments or other necessary trips such as the bank or grocery shopping. I don’t like that but have no choice at this point.
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