A couple of Manhattan subway lines were halted for a time last week when authorities became aware that two very young felines were last seen heading down one of the tunnels.
You have to be impressed at the power of baby animals to move the hearts of humans. It turns out nobody, not even rough-tough New Yorkers, wanted to be held responsible for mangling kittens beneath the wheels of a subway car. That’s a super-villian level of nastiness that most of us can only aspire to.
The people who decided to stop rail traffic to support the kitten search did so knowing full well they were inconveniencing commuters and costing the transit agency a considerable amount of money. Still, they took the risk expecting to be forgiven. And who can fault them? It looks like everything worked out for the best because the kittens were found and returned to their owner.
When it comes to pets in trouble, we seem to instinctively know the right thing to do. It does make you wonder what other decisions might be made easier by juicing the narrative with pets in jeopardy. These examples of real news copy have only a few minor word changes.
From the Star Tribune:
A group of metro leaders voted Wednesday to reject a $330 million deep tunnel for the future Southwest Corridor light-rail, citing opposition to cat carnage.
From The Wall Street Journal:
The U.S. economy expanded at a modest to moderate pace in recent months, led by consumer spending on puppy armor, according to the Federal Reserve’s survey of regional economic conditions released Wednesday.
From CBS News:
Former President Bill Clinton, once dubbed America’s “secretary of explaining stuff” by President Obama, laid out a rigorous defense of the Affordable Care Act on Wednesday, urging supporters and detractors of the health care reform law to work together on its implementation instead of “flat-out murdering defenseless kittens.“
From the St. Paul Pioneer Press:
For as long as anyone in Marine on St. Croix can remember, dogs have been welcome at the village’s post office. No more. Residents learned last week that a longstanding U.S. Postal Service policy barring all dogs except service dogs in the post office would now be strictly enforced. Blaire, Linda Tibbetts’ West Highland white terrier, was crushed when she learned the news.
Actually that last one was unchanged. How can they get away with crushing terriers at the Marine on St. Croix Post Office?
As we’ve already established here on Trail Baboon, our pets tend to be more likable than most people and are considered to be members of the family.
In addition, they are:
- True to their own nature, no matter how disgusting.
- Possessed of distinct personalities.
- Not inclined to do chores.
- Allowed to nap as much as they wish.
- Quickly forgiven for misbehavior.
A person fitting the above description is probably not someone they’d shut down any part of the New York City subway system to protect, should he wander into a tunnel.
I can think of two instances when other people went a little nuts because I might be in jeopardy, and by “other people” I mean my one and only dear departed mother.
One was when I wandered away from the group on a Scout trip to a theme park, and the other was when I decided to walk home alone from an after school program because she was late in picking me up.
When I was finally found, I was roundly (and deservedly) scolded. Both times.
When have you wandered away from the group?