Jockeying for Position

Today’s post comes from Minnesota’s 9th District Congressman, Rep. Loomis Beechly, representing all the water surface area in the state.

Greetings, Constituents!

Usually I am obsessed with currying your favor, but please do me this one thing for me.

Stop asking if I support Hillary Clinton’s bid for the presidency.

It’s too early to commit to any candidate. The reason for this is simple – as your Congressman my job is to find the one person who will be the best president for the 9th District, and then suck up to them without reservation.

But until candidates start to outline their positions on all the lake-related issues that face us, like algae, Asian carp, weedy buffers, jet skis mufflers, dock set-up rules, and a comprehensive global bait policy, there’s just no way for me to judge them.

Republicans have it easy. Partisanship makes some responses automatic, and they already know where they stand on the Ready-for-Hillary question.

For everyone else it’s still just a game at this point, with fun pastimes like trying to guess what slogan Clinton will use (“Nicer Than She Seems”, “Why Not This Time?”, “Probably The Last Chance To Do This”, etc.), and what strategies could possibly work as a way to build enthusiasm among those who are not already on board.

I do have a campaign song nomination, although I realize it will never fly because the payoff line is not only a negative proposition, it takes too long to unfold and it doesn’t have enough energy to accompany the obligatory pre-rally fireworks.

But it is clever, undeniably true, and it speaks to one key point that robs Hillary Clinton of political momentum.

Oh, well. Campaign songs usually aren’t good, or true. But at least we can hope.

I once suggested to my staff that we use Beethoven’s 9th Symphony as a campaign theme song because it is universally accepted as great music, but skeptics on my staff pointed out it would not only drain the rally support budget, it would make my remarks following the 2-hour performance seem unimportant and unnecessary.

Which would be an accurate assessment! But not very productive, campaign-wise.

Honestly,
Your Congressman,
Loomis Beechly

If you ran for office, what would you choose as your campaign song?

38 thoughts on “Jockeying for Position”

  1. Rise and Play the Tune Baboons!

    I cannot even imagine wanting to run for president, much less choose a campaign ditty. Given that, it would have to be some kind of funeral dirge (The Old Rugged Cross) since the entire process would just kill my soul. And all the baby kissing would give me a cold which would turn into pneumonia which would sideline me, if not finish me off entirely.

    Yes, I do think The Old Rugged Cross. I would play the martyr and bring the nation down with me.

    Perhaps I would not be the right choice for the voters…

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Considering how people now seem to have this expectation that elected officials should speak, act, and do exactly as them, a song titled, “I can’t be YOU,” would be appropriate…

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    1. Given that she is married to the Bill, and all wonder he inspires and wandering he does, she may know already that she can’t have what she wants. I think she is running on a revenge platform, just to make him walk in her shoes. I hope the shoes she assigns him are 4″ platforms, a size too small, and that he must walk for hours in them.

      And I like Bill. But he must be the world’s worst husband.

      Like

  3. I’ve just written a long and passionate letter to my old correspondent friend. The subject of my letter is how unfair it is that we die at a time of our lives when things almost inevitably look hopeless. She had written me to confess she is becoming “cynical” as she ages. It is so easy to lose hope, especially since we so often place create hope from emotion and not conviction.

    I see it differently. There is no guarantee that change will bring improvement, but neither is there a certainty that change is inevitably threatening.

    My campaign song, therefore, has to balance hope with reality. I’d like to go with a song Leo Kottke used to sing at the Scholar coffeehouse, but after reflection I’ll make a somewhat different choice that will be familiar to all of us who treasured TLGMS:

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Got your rose colored glasses on this morning, huh Steve?

      OT – It’s a gorgeous morning here, and my first eranthis is in full bloom!

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      1. Not really. But it matters to me that my friend does not decide that history is inevitably tragic. My glasses are clear, if with a slight pink tinge! Like the birth of a child, the blooming of a flower is proof of the viability of hope.

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        1. I guess things are mostly okay with Marilynn. She does seem increasingly gloomy to me. Anything new seems bad to her, and that isn’t who she has been most of her life. She mostly feels useless and wonders why she is still alive 16 years after her husband died. It is hard to find things to talk about. Many old people–and she is 92–don’t care about new things. Their lives contract. They cling all the more to what nourishes them most, which in Marilynn’s case is books. She continues to read a lot.

          Liked by 2 people

  4. This is a made-up day for me, as I cannot envision any scenario in which I would think it was a good idea for me to run for any office, much less the presidency. So I might as well use one of my favorite songs that makes me laugh and laugh whenever I hear it. But the best version includes the intro…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I, too, can’t imagine running for political office of any kind. I must be lacking in either ambition, vision or masochistic tendencies, but it escapes me entirely why any sane person would do that.

    But what the heck, I can’t resist picking a campaign song. This one should sure assure that I’m not elected to anything:

    Like

  6. Great topic today. I thought of “Buddy Can You Spare a Dime” or “God Bless The Child”. Husband is thinking about it.

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  7. Completely OT. Was talking with a co-worker and noticed she had several Easter Island heads on her desk (miniature versions obviously). I asked her if she knew the song, she said No. So I was able to send her a link to the song, which was a favorite on the LGMS. Made her day. So I thought I’d share:

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Celebrate Good Times. I’m partial to this song because, during the 2008 campaign, I dressed in red, white, and blue, stitched an Obama yard sign onto my sweatshirt, and did a dance at the campaign headquarters. It was video taped but I’ve no clue how to find it on Google. Stupidly, I also wore this to my Cheers Bar Halloween party and found myself surrounded by right wingers!

    Like

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