books, Media, Movies, TV

Here I Stand

42 Comments

I’m doing my best Martin Luther impersonation this week. His words “Here I stand. I can do no other” were supposedly uttered at the Diet of Worms where he was having to defend his statements of faith before the secular authorities.  It’s a motto I think I have to adopt.

You all know about my Sherlock Holmes fixation. I’ve enjoyed not just the original stories but just about every other form of Sherlock that I’ve encountered.  Graphic novels from Japan, fiction about his later adventures with his wife, Sherlock in movies, Sherlock on TV, young Sherlock, a farcical comedy with Sherlock and Watson played by women and even Sherlock Bones, with Sherlock as a dog (actually two different authors have written about Sherlock as a dog).  I even read a mash-up last year pairing Elizabeth Bennett from Pride & Prejudice with Sherlock Holmes!

But I’m drawing the line this week. There is a new Sherlock movie out and I just can’t do it.  I just can’t.  Not only slapstick, which I am not fond of in the least, but one of my least favorite actors.  On. The. Planet.

So even though I like to think I’m open-minded, I guess there are dark rooms that I just won’t go in, and this is one of them!

Tell me about your least favorite movie.

42 thoughts on “Here I Stand”

  1. Notions of least favorite movie depend on context. Some clumsy movies are so bad they are cute. Many Baboons fondly remember the Mystery Science 3000 Theater movies. Here’s a terrible movie that is so awful it has its own bizarre appeal:

    The movies I hate are those whose superficial appeal disguises the ugly values underlying them. Their slick packaging promotes sleazy stereotypes. With apologies to their fans, I will mention “Gone With the Wind” and “Ferris Beuhler’s Day Off.”

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    1. It’s funny how we can all look at the same thing but see something different. Kind of what makes the wonderful right?

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    5. Believe or not, I never did see Gone With the Wind. Preferred to keep the memory of the book, such as it was, intact. I did see Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and thought it pretty entertaining. As our friend Jon says, that explains why the paint store has more than one color to choose from.

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  2. there is a new dating website that match’s people’s taste and pairs them according to what they hate. we all love mom and apple pie walks in the woods and brown paper packages tied up with strings but a hate for something specific points to a soul mate
    i wondered who the actor was vs hates then i saw on some website that this sherlock holmes moves sets a record for 0% on rotten tomatoes it has zero appeal . it is the third movie this year to get this rating. i think millennials shootfor adifferent target
    action snappypatter and a plot optional presentation that doesn’t get in the way of the preening stars
    we would be a match on hatemate vs
    i hate him too

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  3. i have never made it through the great gadsby
    i am a redford fan a fitzgerald fan and have enjoyed the book 2 or three times but man … pretty people in pretty surroundings talking in pretty sentences is good sleep elixir for me

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    1. I think the pretty people in pretty surroundings is part of the problem with all the Gatsby movies that I’ve seen. Because when you read Gatsby it’s clear that underneath it all these people aren’t really pretty.

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  4. VS, I just read this morning that the new S Holmes movie set a “futility” record on Rotten Tomatoes. Apparently, NO critics liked it at all, so I think your safe in staying away from the theater for that one.

    Least favorite movie for me? Hard to say. I don’t watch a ton of movies. Because of that, I tend to be selective and choose movies I at least think I won’t hate. My least favorite genre is probably gratuitous horror/slasher/blood and gore movies.

    Now that I think about it, my first Little Brother begged me to see “Paranormal Activity” (I think that’s the title) about 10 years ago and I actually got nauseated watching it because of the hand-held camera zooming in and out and all over the place. But that was more of a thing I seem to have with that first-person POV through the camera lens thing that makes me dizzy and queasy. Also noticed that on one of the few video games I ever played–one of those war ones where you are a “soldier” shooting the “bad guys” and spinning, running, jumping, turning, shooting, ducking, etc. ad nauseam (hmmm, maybe that’s where my malady came from! Certain movies or video games CAN make you sick! 🙂 )

    But generally, movies I end up not liking are mostly of the “meh” variety.

    Chris in Owatonna

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  5. Rise and Shine Baboons,

    I have not seen this version of the Sherlock movie, just because I have never been able to find Sherlock engaging—I find him boring, especially the addiction part. Yawn. (Maybe it is too many years working with addictions which I no longer find interesting). I did see that John C. Reilly is in it. As soon as VS said that she did not like one of the actors, I was hoping it is not him, because he is a favorite of mine and I cannot figure why he took this role.

    There have been so many movies I did not like, and most of them I just forgot—the ultimate jab in the eye of a movie is to be forgettable! However, the worst of the worst was “Waterworld.” Bad writing, bad acting, costumes meant to exploit male sexual interest, and no plot that I could find. I did not even try to make it to the end—I just left.

    We made it to AZ yesterday after having left MN a day early after seeing the dire storm warnings. Yippee—we missed most of it. The only snow we encountered was some spitting in New Mexico and the AZ mountains. It is “cold” here today with a projected high of 58*—it takes about two seconds to change one’s temperature standards.

    I hope I can participate more often on the blog while here—many circumstances came together to just make it too much for awhile this fall and early winter.

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    1. I’m not crazy about it either. But I really don’t understand why Hollywood feels the need to add back story. This is a problem for me with some of the Grinch movies that are out there.

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      1. i love the book polar express and then tom hanks made a movie starring him in all the parts . it was not my pplar express anymore. grinch with boris karloff was delightful 30 minutes with music added is the right length for a 30 page book not 2 hours with special effects as the star instead of the story

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    2. We like that one. It’s just a different telling of the story. You can’t compare the two.

      The latest Grinch movie we liked too. They kept the bits of the original that you’d want to see and filled in other parts. “We Thought” it was pretty well done.

      Going to see the new Mary Poppins today I think.

      (We were watching ‘Greatest Showman’ the other day and personally, I’m glad the big musicals are having a comeback. I like them. And for ‘GS’, it’s all about the little things; the movement, the blocking, the dancing, the lighting… it’s just such a well told story with all the little details in place and hitting just right. We liked it a lot.)

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  7. Oh VS, Thank You!
    I have seen the commercials for that new movie and while I don’t have your Sherlock Holmes fetish, I just can’t either.
    I don’t mind either actor in the right movie, but, this appears only to be juvenile humor and I won’t either.
    So many movies are that way.

    Comedy is hard. People recommend movies or plays and what works for one person doesn’t work for others. I worked on a play a few years ago, seemed like the right play to recommend to some neighbors. And the night they attended, the actors were trying too hard to be funny and the play fell flat. And I feel like they don’t trust my recommendations anymore. Can’t really blame them. But I’m pretty careful about recommending anything anymore. “This worked for me, here’s what it’s about. Let me know if you’d like tickets”.
    NO COMMITMENT!

    Stay dry everyone.

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    1. Oh- Least favorite movie.
      Daughter really likes movies and has a pretty good memory of all the movies she has. There are a few I won’t stay in the room for.
      I haven’t seen ‘Frozen’ yet. Somehow just missed that one.
      Anything with a chipmunk — I’m out. The college holiday concerts they still sing ‘Alvin’s song. I told the new director that song needs to die with him. He told me ‘Baby Steps Ben, Baby steps’… I suspect it won’t be back next year. Or it better not.
      There is a movie called ‘Life Size’ that I won’t watch.
      Anything with Miley Cyrus is off my list.

      I get a rather perverse thrill of finding bad ’80’s movies on the TV channels. I watch just long enough to say ‘This is a terrible movie! Kelly! come watch this terrible movie!’.

      It’s like food; ‘This is terrible! Taste this: it’s terrible!”

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  8. I can’t think of any movies I actually hate off-hand. But yeah, “Waterworld” was certainly terrible. If I don’t like a movie, I will simply forget it. And of course, Mystery Science Theater makes can make any bad movie hilarious. Over Christmas, my husband and I would watch some of the schlocky Christmas Hallmark movies and I would usually predict most of the plot. Jim loves sweet, silly romantic movies so he enjoys “Christmas Prince”, “Christmas Inheritance, etc. I would secretly make fun of the plot, acting, sudden happy endings, etc.

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  9. I nearly walked out of “Magnolia” (Tom Cruise movie) and “Get Shorty” (John Revolta – excuse me, Travolta). I avoid movies that are hyped as the funniest or most hysterical, most of the dystopian ones – especially those with lots of CGI or real violence, and those geared to adolescent humor. I also don’t care for the so-called Hallmark movies – too syrupy, too corny, too maudlin. I loved “The Greatest Showman”. And give me a good British costumer any day.

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    1. Magnolia was such a long time ago. I think we kind of liked it for it’s quirkiness.
      Get Shorty is kind of fun because of the characters. It doesn’t have to be realistic, but it needs to have characters that I appreciate. (Notice I didn’t say “like”. Don’t they always say even the bad guy has to have some aspect people will like; if you hate everything about them you won’t like them. ? Something like that…

      Old TV shows and the canned applause. Oh, that makes me crazy.

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  10. I’ve mentioned on here before that a couple of our friends can be trusted to give us reliable movie recommendations. We’ve learned through painful experience that if Jon and Linda love the movie, we wont care for it. Naturally, I can’t think of examples at the moment, but it’s a pretty safe bet that we should steer clear of movies they give two thumbs up. I’m in a bit of a quandary right now because they have given rave reviews of a film that I actually think I’d like: Bohemian Rhapsody. Pretty sure Hans wouldn’t like it, but from what I’ve read so far, I think I would. Has anyone seen it? And if so, what did you think of it?

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    1. I saw it. If you like the music of Queen, you’d probably like the movie. It’s based on reality; the two remaining members of Queen actually produced it so only a few minor liberties are taken. Freddie Mercury was a fantastic singer, he just wasn’t always the nicest person. So that’s all in there. But it’s fun to hear the music. And that was the point to me; the story and whether it was fact or fiction, was secondary. It’s pretty well done; it’s not hokey or cheesy.
      It’s a bit of a love story too I suppose as Freddie does fall in love. Boy meets girl, Boy looses Girl, boy gets boy back?? 🙂

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    2. i really liked the move and was pissed at the people who say the story wasnt true. its like watching a movie about beethoven or sousa or babe ruth and being upset that the conversation didnt really go that way or the order of things wasnt correct. i thought the essence of the movie was great and the music was queen. why wouldnt hans like it?

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  12. I’m not a big moviegoer and there are whole categories of movies I generally avoid—war movies, gangster movies, most action movies, horror movies—that my odds of hating, really hating a movie are diminished. I don’t rule out musicals automatically but on reflection some of the movies found least tolerable have all been musicals, or musicals of sorts. I really hated Chicago. I found Mamma Mia excruciating. Remember Umbrellas of Cherbourg? Mystery Science Theater couldn’t salvage that.

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    2. i love musicals
      chicagio and oklahoma are ones i fight with my wife about, how can you not like oklahoma. anything rogers and hart or rogers and hammersiein gershwin music cole porter,
      i get tired of remakes of opera themes like miss saigon, even though i like the opera version most often.
      west side story and anything bernstein is good,
      i went to eating raoul years ago with my mom and after about 5 minutes she left and i stayed roaring at the preposterous premise. i like the moviies at the artsy houses rather than the amc theaters.
      movies i hate are not ones i watch very often. i watch a lot of turner classic movies and the oldies are sometimes watched with a grain of salt. if they didnt ever show this movie it wouldnt make sense to have it in the collection but once every 5 or 10 years is enough.
      i didnt understand my dads watching war movies and westerns and now i like them. it is a simple plot idea with a moral victory at the end with truyth justice and the american way winning out over the sleezeballs. i need that when i hear the news and see it working the other way in tooo many instances.

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  13. The only movie I’ve walked out on was Gladiator with Russell Crowe – gratuitous violence – in fact, if there are no women to speak of in the cast, you know it’s a war or fighting movie, and I steer clear.

    I don’t need, or anything really dark – I’ve never seen any of the most recent vampire movies… (Now that campy TV show from the late 60s – Dark Shadows – is another story)

    Also gratuitous meanness – I haven’t seen any of the high school mean girl movies, it’s just to painful (from what I see in the trailers) to see what they do to the other poor kids.

    OT: We lucked on weather driving back from Twin Cities – rain all the way, but we left the slush behind in Mpls, and there’s nothing to shovel here in Winona.

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    1. There is a theme of vigilante justice in certain movies; the hero gets pushed to the brink and then unleashes a violent response on the villain. Those movies seem manipulative to me. The violence doesn’t appeal, even if the bad guy seems to deserve it.

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      1. For me A Clockwork Orange falls into the category of a movie with lots of gratuitous violence. I know critics and movie buffs praise it as a great movie, and I just just couldn’t stomach it.

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        2. i liked it but i get it.
          i think i liked it because it did such a good job of making me feel queezy for the right reasons.
          malcomb macdonald is a great bad guy. he is in one of my new tv shows (mozart in the jungle) as a god guy and its a pleasure not to dislike him. i have disliked him ever since he stole mary steenburgen away for me fome when they made the jack the ripper movie with the time machine (i had to look it up “time after time” and i loved that ludi b was the fall guy in clockwork. make a wonderful thing a pavlovian trigger of evil. cool idea

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      1. now sheena easton “my baby takes the morning train ” who prince married for a week and a half was a favorite but not prince.

        my first wife was a romantic and one day at that point in our relationship she declared we needed to have a song that was to be remembered ad celebrated as “out song” i said ok the next song on the raido would be it and it was ” my baby takes the morning train” she shrieked in disapproval and i laughed. every time it ever came on. it was our song

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  15. We saw the new Mary Poppins movie today. It won’t stand the test of time like the original, and it had “moments” and it was OK but I didn’t Love it.
    It’s not a remake, it’s a sequel. And it’s got a nice set up and was fairly well done. I don’t want to give away any surprises. A few nice little nods to the original.
    And this fun quote: “We’re on the brink of an adventure, Children. Don’t spoil it with questions”.

    I got a movie for Christmas. Speaking of old movies. “The Night they Raided Minskys”. A man with killer eyebrows we’ve talked about before, Harry Andrews.
    My favorite quote:

    Jacob Schpitendavel: Louis Minsky, if you do not now go at once to prevent thy son from bringing my daughter to such ignominy, I shall, as Agnon did, raise the finger of righteousness
    [raises index finger]
    to call down the wrath of heaven.

    Vance Fowler: My father, an Episcopal vestryman, used this
    [raises pinkie finger]
    as the finger of righteousness.

    Louis Minsky: Bah! And again, Bah! There is no finger of righteousness. This

    [raises pinkie and turns it in his ear]

    Louis Minsky: is the finger of cleanliness. This

    [raises ring finger]

    Louis Minsky: is the finger of marital bliss

    [points to wedding band]

    Louis Minsky: . This

    [raises index]

    Louis Minsky: is the finger of vengeance. This

    [levels middle finger toward Fowler, palm downward]

    Louis Minsky: is the finger of meddling in other people’s lives

    [pokes Fowler in chest with middle finger]

    Louis Minsky: . And this

    [sticks out thumb]

    Louis Minsky: is the finger of transportation. It will get us a taxi to the theater. You speak with the fist of authority, gentlemen, but you do not know your fingers.

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