Saying “No”

I have a hard time saying “no, I can’t do that”.  I tell the intake people at my work that my schedule is too full to take on new clients, and then I get a phone call from our county social services that they have five children who need therapy, and I am the only one in the area who sees children as young as the ones they are referring, and guess what? I have five new appointments for next week. People at work just laugh at me when I tell them I am going to put my foot down and not take any new clients. I have no one to blame but myself.

Is it hard for you say “no”?  How do you manage to do it if you are able?  What is hard for you to communicate to others?  What is your favorite scene or song from Rogers and Hammerstein?

 

12 thoughts on “Saying “No””

  1. They say if you want something done to ask a busy person.

    It depends, doesn’t it. Depends on age, depends on money, depends on who’s involved, depends on what it is, depends on how important it is to us. It is possible to say no, but, it depends.

    Rogers and Hammerstein music is a little too syrupy for me. (Sweeping generalization warning!)

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  2. I don’t have to say No very often because people rarely ask me to do things, for some reason. The few social invites I get are usually turned down because I lack the energy for them, especially later in the day (when one goes to bed at 8:30 that limits evening activities). So I’m pretty good at saying No.

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    1. It helps when the thing you’re asked about is something that you’d rather not do anyway. Don’t know if you dislike meetings as much as I did (do?), unfortunately they were usually not optionally. Perhaps that’s what made them so disagreeable? At any rate, Renee, good for you. Spend your energies where you get the most return.

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  3. It looks like the baboons are saying NO today by not piping up.

    I have reached a stage of my life where saying no isn’t that difficult. I simply don’t have the energy, and most of my friends know that, so they don’t ask. That said, I’ve had a tendency to take on more than my fair share over the years. Sometimes it’s been because I knew if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. Other times, I was afraid that if I didn’t agree “they” wouldn’t like me. Nowadays, I’m not that hung up on whether or nor people like me. If they do, great; if they don’t, well, so be it.

    OT – I’m feeling bummed tonight. A very good friend was just diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I’ve emailed Crystalbay in hopes of picking her brain for resources. So far, no I haven’t heard from her.

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      1. Thanks, Linda. Jon is the most stoic and rational person that I know. He’s 76 years old, and I know he’ll fight this with as much grace and determination as he can for as long as it makes sense to him. He’s an extraordinary person, and whether he survives this or not, I’m grateful to have known him and enjoyed his friendship for forty years.

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  4. I have a problem with saying no when co-workers ask me to pick up a work shift for them at the flower shop. I don’t ever want an extra shift, but I often take one, in the interests of building up some good time-off karma. Sometimes, though, I’ll make up an excuse not to take one. Then I try not to feel like a bad person.

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  5. Don’t really have a favorite R&H song, but this came to mind when I thought about saying no. Don’t think I’d ever actually seen this before, though maybe I’ve just forgotten.

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  6. I can easily see how Ben has arrived at the conclusion that R & H are “a little too syrupy” for his liking. I shared that opinion when I was younger. Since then I have come to appreciate how they were far ahead of their time in terms of the issues they tackled in their shows. I attribute the saccharine quality of their work as portrayed on film to Hollywood. The movie South Pacific holds the distinction of being the only film I’ve ever walked out of halfway through. Like Linda, I don’t really have a favorite tune, though there are many that I’ll gladly hum along on. I think my favorites have more to do with a particular rendition of a song than the song in and of itself.

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