Brrr!

Last Saturday we reached a milestone in our community of a record breaking windchill of -70° F. I can’t say I was glad to be a part of this. The cold interfered with a lot of things. The guy who is putting new carpet in our basement had to beg off from coming over as his diesel vehicle was completely frozen up and he couldn’t haul the things that he needed. We didn’t leave the house from Friday afternoon until Monday morning. We kept the curtains and blinds closed to keep the heat in and the cold out. I can’t imagine how hard it was for ranchers to keep their cattle safe out in the pastures.

The dog has suffered the most with the cold. He finally got a walk yesterday. Last Friday he went in the yard and got so cold that he couldn’t move and Husband had to rescue him. That was after only a minute or so outside. He wouldn’t be cooperative with booties, and the enforced inside stay has made him constantly begging for attention and doing zoomies around the house since it was too cold to go for walks.

Daughter tried to explain to her West Coast friends how cold it was here, but they just couldn’t relate. It is hard to explain that the cold interferes with the pressure in vehicle tires, and how hard it is to put air in tires when exposed skin will freeze in less than a few minutes. Warmer weather is predicted for next week. I think the dog will be relieved he can finally go for walks.

How do you cope with extreme cold? Any experiences with frost bite?

No Purchase Necessary

Now that I have a little more leisure after the holidays, I’ve had more time in my studio which also means more time with the tv on.  It’s astonishing to see what some actors are willing to do in commercials these days.  I will admit to a bit of snobbery about seeing quite famous folks doing commercials but even so….

Drew Barrymore and Sarah Jessica Parker are both hawking gaming apps right now.  (I’m not sure I want to know where these apps are getting the money to make/run these commercials.)   SJP’s commercial isn’t too silly but I’ve seen three DB adds so far and she acts like a moron in all of them. 

Ty Pennington, who used to do those makeover shows is also doing ads for a casino app.  Luckily I’ve only seen one – he is hanging upside down in a chimney wearing a Santa hat.  Idiotic.

John Travolta is selling something by wearing a Santa suit and doing disco, although his age is really showing as he dances.  It’s probably problematic that I’ve seen the commercial a couple of times in the last week but can’t remember the product. 

I’m not the target audience but I do wonder how much money these folks are getting paid to act stupid on national/international tv.  Part of me thinks they couldn’t pay me enough to do this but part of me thinks that if some product wanted to cough up a TON of cash, I might weigh the pros and cons.  I think “well, it would only run so long” but then I remember some of the old commercials we’ve dredged up here on the trail (“it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature”)… maybe my ad would go viral and I’d become famous and then where would I be?  But an infusion of cash wouldn’t be so bad either. I suppose it’s a good thing that I’ll never have to make this decision in my lifetime!

Any particularly heinous ads bugging you these days?

Much Ado About the Birthday

Today is YA’s birthday.  A whooping 29 years old today!!

YA is one of those folks who likes a little fuss but doesn’t like to admit they want a fuss.  This is hard for me because #1: I love making a fuss and #2: when you don’t want to admit to wanting fuss, then you don’t admit to what you actually want.  I have to figure what she MIGHT like and not go beyond that!

The first thing we have is a banner that says “Happy Birthday” that I made a few years ago; I hang it up across the arch between the dining room and living room.  I added two big balloons, one on each end of the arch.  A “2” and a “9”.  (YA’s dog Guinevere is twenty years younger than YA so we will keep the “9” for the end of the month!).  That’s it for décor.

Goodies are harder.  Most of the time YA is not a cookies/cake/cupcake kind of person. Most of the time.  But you can’t count on her birthday being a day that she’s in the mood.  She does however like brownies most of the time – as long as they don’t have frosting… so I can make those.  I have two big candles (again a “2” and “9”).  I did get a can of cream cheese frosting so I can write “Happy Birthday” on the brownies.  That will be OK with her. 

For a gift, she’s saving up for a new laptop so there is a giftcard for her.  Not exactly original but it’s what she really wants.  She is fairly particular about what she wears, so I would never buy her clothing. I can never guess what she might like to read so no books.  Between us we got four jigsaw puzzles for the holidays so that’s out.  Giftcard it will be.

All this fuss will be set up during the day while YA is at work so she’ll come home to the fun.  Hopefully I will have gotten the fuss to non-fuss ration correct!

What kind of birthday fuss to you like?

Risky Business

A 22-year old from Taiwan was apprehended at the Bangkok airport before Christmas after he was found to be carrying two Asian small-clawed otters and a prairie dog.  The man has the critters in socks, taped inside his boxer shorts; security officers were suspicious of the big bulge below the man’s waistband.

If I were a man, I’m not sure I’d put anything with claws and teeth (much less three of them) in my shorts.

I noticed this because I was just thinking about taking a small bag of spices with me to St. Louis last week.  I needed to recreate my sister’s mac and cheese recipe while I was at Nonny’s and was pretty sure that Nonny might not have all these spices.  I didn’t want to buy whole jars of them in St. Louis.  Putting spices in a ziplock made me think about another time I had spices in my suitcase.

About twenty years ago, my bag was the very last one to arrive on the luggage belt after I had come home from Thailand.  The sniffer dog did not alert on my bag but the fact that I had stood there so long waiting brought me to the attention of the sniffer dog’s handler.  Of course this was the one time I ever had something a little suspicious in my bag.  I had purchased some spices at a road-side stand while in Thailand… just baggies of powder with no labels.  Luckily none of them were white and one of them was filled with whole nutmegs, so it was easily explainable.  I was very glad I had the nutmegs and had not purchased anything even remotely white!           

Have you ever transported something you probably shouldn’t have?

Helping the Javelina

This is the last post about Nashville.  I swear.

When I did the blog last year about Henrietta (my stuffed javelina) going to Madison, it was kinda funny and I enjoyed it.  So I thought it would be fun to do it again on my trip to Nashville.  What I didn’t expect was that others would take on the cloak of silliness with me.

My friend Pat was absolutely obsessed with getting a photo of Henrietta wherever we went – zoo, Strawberry Café lunch, shopping, pizza place, the winery.  You’ve already seen the photos at the Goo Goo Cluster store and the Moonshine distillery and the breakfast place.  But she wasn’t the only one concerned that I get a good photo with Henrietta. 

A complete stranger at the zoo volunteered to take a photo of me and Henrietta with some flamingos that we out doing “meet & greet”.  Is demurred, not too sure how close I wanted to get to a huge (they are much bigger up close than you think) strange bird.

The woman working the bookstore at the Belmont Estate also noticed Henrietta in my bag and asked about her.  We were waiting for our tour to start so Pat was happy to go on and on about all the places that we had taken Henrietta over the past couple of days.  The woman got all excited and led us to a spot we would never have seen on our own… under a staircase on the second floor of the mansion.  There was a small statue of a pig, complete with a red bow.  This was a photo I couldn’t resist. 

Although it’s been fun, I’m not sure I need to keep it up.  I will probably take her to Tucson in March; it is after all her birthplace (my friend purchased her for me while I was there last year) but I’m not sure she will go to St. Louis with me this month.

Do you take selfies when you travel?

January

The weekend Farm Report comes to us from Ben.

Well, now it looks and feels like January in Minnesota. Snow and cold and we haven’t seen the sun in weeks. 

Days like this, I don’t miss the cow chores. Taking care of the chickens fills me with a sense of satisfaction like I used to get from the cows, without nearly the amount of work. With the cold weather predicted I’ll need to pay more attention to keeping the chickens water bucket filled. They drink a surprising amount in a day. It’s fun to watch them drink; they take “sips”, then tip their head back to swallow. Repeat. Just now I googled “how do chickens drink” and it says they don’t have an epiglottis, and their tongue isn’t helpful in this regard, so,… gravity. Google also says chickens drink about a pint or more per day. That means my 45 chickens are going through 5.6 gallons / day. Which seems about right. And with them staying inside more with the snow and cold, it’s a good thing we have a heated bucket. And I’ll need to collect eggs more often before they freeze. 

I’ve ordered seed, fertilizer, and chemicals for spring, so that’s encouraging and exciting and a sign this snow and cold will end. Prices, jeepers. Corn seed is about $300 / bag and plants about 2.5 acres. Soybeans are $60 / bag and does about 1 acre. Oats is $13/ bag and does less than an acre. I don’t even want to tell you how much the fertilizer and spraying totals. It’s over $26,000.  Sigh. And I’m a small farmer! It’s crazy. 

Last week talking about clocks and I should have included this one. I inherited this clock at the college. It was in a cabinet, so it came with the place. 

Peter Max design. Ebay shows them at $600. That’s the thing about Ebay; just because they list that amount doesn’t mean anyone has PAID that amount. 

This cleaver (knife) has been hanging in the machine shed for years.  

I recently found it hanging on a nail in a back corner. And considering it’s been there a long time, it’s in really good shape. What’s the best way to ‘preserve’ it or save it? Oil the wooden handle? Remove the rust on the blade? I don’t know what I would ever do with it besides hang it on a wall, and I’m not up on my antiques. The only printing on it says “Genuine Warranty” and below that a numeral 8. Eight inch blade. I suggested to my family that it’s the actual knife dad dropped on his head when he was 4 years old that he said his mother poured Absorbine Jr. on his head and wrapped it with brown paper, see the scar?? My siblings were dubious and pointed out it was a hatchet, not a knife that he says he split his head with. Spoil sports. 

Tell a story about being groovy. Or a knife story. 

Alarming Trends

I have noticed over the past year or so a really alarming trend for people to back into parking paces in parking lots. At the grocery store, it means that if you have a van or you put your groceries in the trunk that it is hard to access the rear of your vehicle. I guess people do this so that they have better visibility when they leave their parking space. I think it is really dumb. It takes longer to park, makes it harder to park, and also makes it quicker for someone to steal your vehicle since they can just drive off instead of having to take time to back out.

People at my agency also noticed over the past year a trend for Middle School and High School female students to try to convince us that they have Dissociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder, and watch TikTok videos to practice the symptoms and the shifting into the other personalities. They are so disappointed when we dismiss the symptoms.

If you haven’t noticed, I wrote this when I was really crabby. That is usually not a trend for me, but this has been an annoying week. I will be alarmed if my crabby trend continues.

What has made you crabby this week? What were the passing fads when you were in Middle School and High School.

Dressed to Impress

YA and were invited to a nice party over the weekend – a surprise 70th birthday party for a friend.  The invite didn’t mention any particular dress code but the party was held in a big lovely home up in Kenwood and it seemed like dressing up would be the right way to go. 

Dressing up is not something that I’ve ever been good at.  Pandemic, furlough and retirement has not helped.  I do have a pair of black palazzo pants so I started there but was struggling with a top to go with the pants.  Static didn’t help.  At one point YA came in and said “why don’t you just wear a dress?”  

Well, because I no longer own a dress.  I decided to look in the attic to make sure I wasn’t forgetting about any dresses but no, nothing.  I don’t even remember the last dress I owned or when it left the house, presumably in a goodwill/value village bag. 

I did find a top to go with the palazzo pants and the party was great but I kept thinking the rest of the weekend, “should I invest in a dress”?  Probably not a good use of income since I also can’t remember the last time the thought of wearing a dress even crossed my mind. 

When was the last time you dressed up?

Blinding Lights

YA came home from work yesterday asking if I had watched the Golden Globe ceremonies.  When I looked at her blankly she asked if I had “heard” about them.

I actually don’t really know what the Golden Globes are.  I mean, I know it’s yet another way for the over-paid and over-glamorized folks in Hollywood to pump up their egos, but other than that I don’t know what differentiates it from the Oscars.

One of my friends always makes a point of seeing all the movies that are up for the best picture Oscar.  I’m pretty much 0 for 5 every year for the past 10 years.  I did see Shape of Water on Christmas Day 2018 – I didn’t know anything about it at the time, just that it was showing at a good time for us.  I didn’t actually like it very much so was surprised to find out a few weeks later than it was an Oscar contender.

Apparently the Oscar nominations are due out on January 25 although there are lots of websites trying to predict who will be on the leaderboard.  Since the only movie I’ve been to in the last year is “Migration” (an animated film), I’m pretty sure I’m continuing my streak.

I’m fairly certain that none of my favorite movies have ever even been nominated for a big award, much less won one:  To Catch a Thief, Moonstruck, Princess Bride, People Will Talk, Sneakers, Murder on the Orient Express (1974 version only), American Dreamer, Dial M for Murder…. 

Do you follow the Globes/Oscars/Sundances/Cannes, etc???   Do you have a favorite movie?

Cellular Meltdown

I used to watch that show “Monk” with Tony Shalhoub.  When someone would marvel at his talent for solving crime, he would say “it’s a gift…. and a curse”.  That’s how I feel about my cell phone.

After four years, YA wore me down about getting new phones.  I didn’t remember any angst about the last time we did phones, but it was four years ago.  The purchase of the phones was pretty straight forward; YA had done all the research so after we dickered with the salesperson about the pricing a bit, we bought the phones.  If it had been up to me, I would have coughed up the $25 to have them transfer all my stuff from the old phone to the new but YA was adamant that she could do this.

Aiy yi yi.  That’s when it got ugly.  Since we were using the old phones for trade-in, YA said I had to log onto all my various apps/accounts to make sure my logins worked before she “wiped” the old phone.  This turned out to be not as easy as you’d think…. too many times I’ve reset a password and then not written it down when I got home (think the bagel place and the gym).  So there was a fair amount of password resetting to get through.  She wasn’t exactly patient about this.

Then it turned out that my sticky note app isn’t available any longer from the app store.  At this point YA was tired of me and my techie problems.  She suggested I use the Notes that is already on my phone.  “What Notes?” was my question.  She took the phone from my hand, did a few clicks and voila… there it was.  However because she had done it instead of telling me how, I couldn’t get it back a few minutes later.  Suffice it to say we had words.  AND as I’ve looked at it, I don’t like the Notes anyway… guess I’ll have to go find myself a new sticky note app that I like.  Sigh.

It took about 90 minutes for all this – not a lifetime of suffering, but I do feel like I need to check myself into a convalescent home for a good rest!

Do you have a “technie” helper?  Do you need one?