Category Archives: Fantasy

2023, animals, Fantasy, Movies, Mysteries

VelociPastor

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Normally I don’t click on things like “Worst Sitcoms of all Times” or “Hollywood Actors with Surprising Kung Fu Skills”.  But for some reason, while waiting for a client call yesterday, I clicked on “Bad Movies We Love Anyway”.  I hardly had the site open two minutes but it was enough time to see “VelociPastor”.  No that is not a typo.

When I logged off work for the day, I couldn’t resist… found it on Peacock and within a few minutes had it going.  It was dreadful.  The basic story is that a pastor goes hiking and manages to hike into China (no discussion of WHY he was doing this), runs into a Chinese woman stabbed through the heart who gives him what she says is a “dragon tooth”.  He cuts himself badly and apparently is infected with dinosaur DNA.  Like Bruce Banner/Hulk, when he gets enraged he turns into a velociraptor.  Initially he doesn’t remember these episodes but eventually learns to control it somewhat and becomes a crime fighter – a scaled crusader!

Very bad acting, some of the characters were dubbed, horrible dialog, every stereotype on the planet, unbelievable scenarios (the scumbag who murdered his parents comes to confession and the pastor kills him in the confessional).   Of course, all the mayhem never leaves a drop of blood on him once he transforms back to human.  Oh and he falls in love with the hooker who witnessed his first transformation and eventually dies in his arms.  Half way through the movie, we also get ninjas bent on global domination and I’ll never forget the scene where the pastor and the hooker beat up all the ninjas in their underwear. When they eventually do show the whole transformation, it’s in a rubber dinosaur suit that doesn’t look anything like a velociraptor.

It was so awful it was kinda funny.  Wouldn’t you have to TRY to make a movie this bad?  Was this a “The Producers” situation, where they wanted to make a bad film so they wouldn’t have to pay investors back.  Hard to imagine any other way this movie could have been made.   Yet another bad movie that curiosity has driver me to that I will most likely never watch again. 

What’s the absolute worst movie you’ve ever seen?  And why?

2023, books, Fantasy, Mysteries, Stories

Over and Over Again

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As you all know, I listen to books on CD in the car (and occasionally I drag them into the house as well), audiobooks on my laptop and old-fashioned regular books!   I “curate” my library account so that I don’t have too many things from the library at once and am always happy to find a book that comes in multiple formats.  The format I am still unwilling to embrace is kindle.

A couple of weeks ago the book She Who Became the Sun sparked my interest, so I looked it up and it came in audiobook format.  Since I was getting close to done with my current audiobook and only had one other “up to bat”, I asked for it.  Loaded it and then yesterday morning, hit “Play”. 

I knew in the first minute that I had read this book before.  I was sure of it.  The title resonated but I had assumed it was because She Who Became the Sun is exactly the kind of title that intrigues me.  I looked it up on my spreadsheet and I did indeed read it in 2017!  I can tell you only the vaguest of plot outlines now that I realize I’ve read it, but it’s VERY vague.  I thought about reading it again but decided if I can hardly remember that I’ve read it, much less remember the plot, I’ll move on.  Not quite as bad as having started Devil in the White City THREE times but at least in that scenario I never read the whole book (I always bale when the maggot scene happens in the first chapter). 

Do you ever go to the fridge repeatedly, hoping to find something new there?

2023, animals, Fantasy, home, Nature

Henrietta

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My friend in Tucson (actually Green Valley) lives at the end of her cul de sac, right along a canyon.  We had walked down a path into the canyon a bit and she pointed out javelina tracks.  While I know what a javelina is, I’ve never actually seen one.  And I certainly didn’t expect to be walking along a javelina pathway. 

Then later that evening as we were sitting in her living room, I looked out the window to see a fairly large javelina walking right past the house, only about 20 feet from my chair.  Fascinating.  During my trip we actually spied javelinas several times – at the Desert Museum, more near the house and even a troop crossing the street near a park.  They look like pigs but Arizonians are quick to tell you that they are peccaries and NOT pigs. I loved seeing them and spent some time looking up javelina facts during the trip.

On our last day, in the zoo gift shop, I found a small plush javelina toy that I thought was cute.  My friend insisted that I actually needed a bigger plush toy.  When I told her the small one was what I could justify (since clearly I don’t need to be dragging stuffed toys home at my age), she doubled down and said she wanted to purchase it for me.  We argued a bit and I eventually gave up. 

On the way home I made my first mistake – I gave the toy a name – Henrietta.  The mistake meant that when I was packing, I felt funny about stuffing her into my squishable carry-on bag.  How would she breathe?  I really didn’t even pause before I set her into my purse.  When my friend laughed and asked what folks would think, I told her that lots of people needed emotional support animals when they flew.  Henrietta would be my emotional support javelina.  (I am NOT suggesting that people who have emotional support animals don’t need them!)

Anyway, here is Henrietta going through Security, getting settled on the plane and then at home on my bed. 

I will admit this to you all; I’ve had Henrietta for cuddling every night since I got back from Tuscson.  I’ve thought about bringing some of my other stuffed toys down from the attic so they can take turns but I’m afraid Henrietta’s feelings will be hurt!

Any strange stuffed toys in your past (or present)?

Business, Fantasy, Media, Mysteries, Technology, Uncategorized

Cyber-Ooops

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I made a mistake over the weekend.  I accidentally clicked on a YouTube of a couple building a tiny house from the ground up.  I didn’t watch the whole thing but it was enough for cyberspace to jump on it.  This morning my YouTube feed is filled with tiny house videos.  They have not completely supplanted my usual card-making, dogs, Harry/Meghan (proverbial train wreck) videos, but there are A LOT of tiny house stuff.  Sigh.  I know that if I don’t open any more, they will eventually fade away but it’s a little irritating that cyberspace is so completely curating my online experience. 

Then yesterday I opened up YouTube on my work laptop to look for a band for a client.  The feed was nothing like my home feed and had a preponderant amount of “relaxing music” videos.  This didn’t surprise me at first because my main use of YouTube at work has always been background soothing, relaxing music.  When I started to think about it, I wondered how YouTube knew this… after all, this laptop is not the laptop I had before I retired.  And I haven’t logged onto YouTube using a work address since August.  So how did YouTube know, without my even asking, that relaxing music is likely to be what I want?  This is just a hypothetical question – I’m sure I wouldn’t understand a real answer about the algorithms used by YT, FB, etc.  But it is a little eerie and does make me wonder what my feed would look like if I searched for other random items every few days?

Do you care enough about anything to follow it in cyberspace?

2023, education, Fantasy, Technology

It’s a Streak!

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While I was in Green Valley, I hit my 1,000-day streak with my Italian lessons on Duolingo.  I can’t think of anything I’ve ever done 1,000 days in a row, except for being a parent and breathing in/out all day!

I spend more time on my Italian these days than when I started.  You’d think that 1,000 days would make me fluent but when it’s only 15-20 minutes a day, that won’t quite do it.  I can read a fair amount of Italian at this point and if an Italian person spoke to me VERY slowly and didn’t get too complicated, I could understand.  My accent is OK but speaking is my least proficient area – I’m still a bit slow on the uptake when trying to put sentences together. 

The chance that I’ll ever actually get to use my Italian proficiency is pretty slim; not sure I’ll be getting to Italy again in my lifetime, but I figure I’ll keep it up as long as I’m still enjoying it. 

What would you be willing to do for 1,000 days straight?

books, Fantasy, Mysteries

The Game’s Afoot!

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Since I can’t stay away from anything sherlockian, you all know that I would eventually end up at the Sherlock Holmes Exhibition at the Minnesota Historical Society.

There are four parts of the exhibit.  The first section is more or less straight up museum.  Photos, documents and memorabilia.  The doctor that inspired Doyle to write his stories, medical instruments from the time, London – even handwritten pages of Doyle’s work (there were several hundred of these initially offered for sale during his lifetime). 

The second section was several kiosks discussing different areas of interest of the time: botany, printing, telegraphy and a few others.  Most of the kiosks had an interactive feature – my friend Sara sent me a telegraph saying she was enjoying the afternoon with me.  I enjoyed doing a rubbing of a newspaper article and finding the hidden message.

The third section was a re-creation of 221B Baker Street.  You had to walk through and then there was a list of items that hopefully you had noticed.  I had noticed 12 out of 16… took a bit to find to find the last four.  Sara and I “helped” each other finish here.

The last section was a crime scene that we needed to solve.  This was the hard part of the exhibit – ballistics trajectory, chemistry on a seed pod found at the scene, blood splatter evidence, drag marks in the sand… it was fun but even if you figured out every part of the crime scene correctly, there was no way you were going to solve it as it was presented at the end. 

The exit of the exhibit was filled with photos and memorabilia from television and movies – I had to admit to Sara how many of the various films I had actually seen – including the 1922 John Barrymore version.

So I’m highly recommending the exhibit if you’re in the Twin Cities. (Although there is a lot of interactive pieces, if you’re taking a kid, you won’t be able to step back and leave them alone – it’s more on the level of a locked room mystery game if you’ve ever been in one of those.)

Do you have a favorite fictional character?

Family, Fantasy, holidays, Mysteries

Stonehenge-ette

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I’m not sure what I looked at online in November that caused “Build Your Own Stonehenge” to start popping up as side ads on my pc.  It looked cute and I already have a “Build Your Own Carcasonne” from a trip years ago.  Then I made the ultimate mistake – I clicked on the ad.  It was smaller than I thought and cheaper.  Both good things.

I put it on my list for the holidays, not expecting to get it; YA doesn’t always humor my eccentricities.  When I unwrapped it on Solstice, I’d kind of forgotten about it, to tell the truth.  It was much easier to put together than I had expected; all the standing stones and bluestones had numbers on the bottom that corresponded to marks on the earthwork piece.  (I had a layout of Stonehenge pulled up on the internet in case I had to figure it out myself.) After I laid it out once, I hot glued everything down.  I think it’s adorable; YA isn’t impressed.  It’s living in my studio now, next to my miniature castle.  I wonder what other “build your own” project will attract my attention next.

Have you ever built a model of anything?

2023, Family, Fantasy, Media, Music, Radio, Songs, Uncategorized

Odd Couples

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Husband drives to Bismarck for work every Tuesday night, and returns home Wednesday night. He is usually pretty tired on both drives, and cranks up music on the radio to keep himself awake.

The other night he listened to the Sinatra station, and heard what he thought was one of the oddest duets he ever heard. It featured Frank Sinatra and Aretha Franklin singing What Now, My Love.

I have to agree with husband that this is quite weird. I can’t imagine what possessed the Queen of Soul to sing that with Ol’ Blue Eyes. Their styles are so different and not really compatible. Sort of like Ozzy Osbourne singing gospel music with Amy Grant.

What music keeps you awake when you drive? What are your favorite duets? What are some duets you wouldn’t want to hear?

2022, books, Fantasy, holidays, home, Movies, Seasons

Bah Humbug Day!

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“He lived in chambers that had once belonged to his deceased partner. They were a gloomy suite of rooms, in a lowering pile of building up a yard, where it had so little business to be, that one could scarcely help fancying it must have run there when it was a young house, playing at hide-and-seek with other houses, and forgotten the way out again.”

One of my favorite metaphors from one of my favorite books – A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

Most years I try to re-read this little classic some time in December.  It’s a quick, satisfying read – a great story of redemption if ever there was one!

Yesterday was the anniversary of the publication (1843).  For the first time in my memory, I had an absolute day of leisure.  Past years I either had to work or I was deep into party prep; with the party behind me (it was wonderful!) and new to my retirement, this year is different.  I decided to celebrate by watching every movie of A Christmas Carol that I like (there are more than you can imagine and I don’t like them all).

I didn’t plan my viewing schedule ahead of time… just went with the mood of the moment whenever one ended and it was time to select the next.  Started with the Reginal Owen/Gene Lockhart version then headed into the Alistair Sim version.  Needed a little lighter fare after that so did Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.  George C Scott was next followed by Mickey’s Christmas Carol.  Patrick Stewart was next, then Scrooged with Albert Finney, rounded off by The Muppet’s Christmas Carol. 

Thought about American Christmas Carol with Henry Winkler but just wasn’t up for it after 10 hours of Charles Dickens.  I don’t know if I’ll celebrate this way next year but it was a relaxing and enjoyable day for me.

If you had a free day to celebrate/commemorate something, what would it be?  And how would you like to celebrate?

2022, animals, Fantasy, Health, pets, Uncategorized

Spa Day

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Our puppy went to the groomer today. The groomer said he did splendidly, and was easy to work with. She did a really good job with him, and studied the photos and literature I gave her on Cesky terriers. She did a really good job on his beard today. His fur is turning more and more platinum. He started out as completely black as a newborn.

He has been so happy and relaxed since we got him home. I guess he liked all the attention and cossetting and brushing. It was a spa day for him. I have never been to a spa. I have never had a massage or a pedicure or manicure. I don’t know how I would react having someone so close and personal.

Kyrill told me that he was so handsome now that I should sign him up on a dating site so he could get a girlfriend. I told him that wasn’t going to happen. He gets neutered next week.

Have you ever been to a spa? What do you think it would be like to go to one of those spas in Baden-Baden, Germany? How would you describe yourself on a dating site?