A thunderstorm comes through rumbling and grumbling, trailing a fug of humidity.
Thunderstorms come through rumbling and grumbling. One after another. Humidity blankets us. The weather pattern of August, 2016. Except for that one loud clap, hitting the tall trees outside our apartment no doubt, which knocked a picture off a wall, we like thunderstorms, although enough is now enough. Rain falling off the roof outside our windows makes white noise for sleeping. Humidity we hate. We wilt.
My son and his then wife moved an adopted street dog from San Diego, land of very few thunderstorms, to Seattle, land of, well, need I explain? Oh, how that dog went wild over thunder! Rain confused him. He is safely back in San Diego. Our son loves the Seattle weather and his wife fell in love with it as well. Not the poor dog.
Three years ago the weather pattern day after day was brilliant sunsets. Often with lightening in them. Not one good sunset this year, that I have noticed.
Assuming you have the wherewithal to live in two places, what two places in what part of the year would you choose for the weather?
I think one of the most fun things about traveling is finding interesting hotels and lodging to stay in. We had really good luck with our lodging for our recent Europe trip. All the places were unique and had interesting and unexpected features. I mentioned the Merrion Hotel in Dublin in a previous post about Bruce Springsteen. Here is some information about some other hotels we stayed at.
In Bremen we stayed at the Design Hotel Uberfluss. I love the name. (It was hard to find a place in Bremen the week we were there due to an international conference on the medical management of open wounds. Just what I would want to learn about!) The Uberfluss is situated along the Weser River in central Bremen near the old city. It is ultramodern and decorated in white and black with funky looking light fixtures. The rooms have enormous windows that open like French Doors if you turn the handle one way, and tilt open from the top if you turn the handle the other way. During construction they discovered a section of the original town wall of Bremen, circa 1300, and preserved it in the basement. Artifacts like medieval shoes and jewelry, also excavated by the wall, are on display in the lobby. I found that fascinating.
We were in another, similar hotel called the Varsity, in Cambridge, England. It was located on the River Cam, and we could see people in punts with poles on the river. It was very peaceful.
Glasgow brought us to a lovely restored Georgian town house called the Glasgow 15 Bed and Breakfast. It was beautiful and more like a hotel than a B and B. The breakfasts were huge. Two doors down was a plaque on a house where Sir Joseph Lister, the father of antiseptic surgery and the namesake of Listerine, lived and did research. Glasgow was full of memorials to scientists. Kelvin, he of the Kelvin Scale of temperature, has many statues and things named for him.
In Scotland’s western highlands we stayed in a very old hotel 6 miles out in the country near Oban. It was called the Knipoch Argyle. In 1592 a Campbell, then the Thane of Cawdor, was brutally murdered in the dining room. We had a great meal there.
The Wiechmann Hotel in Amsterdam was probably the quirkiest place we stayed. It is in a narrow, three-story, 19th century building on the Prinsengracht Canal a couple of blocks from the Anne Frank house. Our room was on the top floor. There were 46 narrow and winding steps to our room, and no elevator. Those stairs were killers, and once I got downstairs I didn’t want to go back upstairs. There was a large German Shepherd who slept near the front desk. On the wall behind the front desk was a gold record, a gift to the owner from Emmylou Harris. It is the gold record she received for her second album, Elite Hotel. I guess she stayed at the Wiechmann and really liked it. Johnny Rotten and the Sex Pistols also stayed there too, but I can’t think what they would have brought the owner except mayhem.
What is the most memorable hotel you’ve stayed in?
I’m a World Leader who has worked pretty hard to get to where I am – an elite figure who is leading part of the world – thus my title.
But when I say that I “worked pretty hard,” that might mean I cheated a bit and took advantage of some good fortune that was none of my doing. I may also have stepped on a few people and connived a little, financially speaking. Nothing too out of the ordinary for a human primarily interested in his own survival.
We’re all familiar with the standard weaknesses of our species.
Anyway, I have reason to believe a good number of my misdeeds have been documented in the so-called “Panama Papers” that are being combed over and slowly released by an international team of journalists who apparently take no small amount of delight in humiliating people like myself.
There is a remarkably vast trove of documents associated with this, the largest leak in the history of tattling. It is so big and it affects so many people, I’m hopeful that my crimes may not seem so bad when compared to the sins of people even more powerful and more famous than me. For that reason alone, I’m inclined to wait it out even though my wife says we should sell everything and leave the country immediately.
Dr. Babooner, millions of the unwashed masses are already saying I’m crooked. I love my wife but I don’t want to validate that suspicion by cutting and running, even though it kills me to just sit around right now pretending that nothing is wrong.
What should I do?
El Presidente
I told El that he (she?) has nothing to worry about if the slow release of these Panama Papers drags on through the summer. Come September, it’s likely that the soap opera story of the November American election will Trump all other news and his (her) crimes will be completely forgotten in light of much greater and more showy offenses.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Whenever our children come home to visit at the same time, I have to scramble to make certain that there are enough bed pillows to keep everyone happy. We have a saying in our family “A well made bed is a work of art”, and that means a minimum of two goose down pillows for each head. Son once had six pillows on his bed, and daughter would have that many if I would purchase more for her. I notice that bed pillows start disappearing from our bed when the children visit, until husband and I are left with one apiece. Then we steal them back. I have been known to take my pillows with me on the road because you can never find a good pillow in most hotels.
This pillow obsession is my maternal grandmother’s fault. Omie prided herself on giving each grandchild two, made-to-order, goose down pillows upon the occasion of their marriage. She had a goose connection in a neighbor woman (a Mrs. Flanagan, I think) and made the pillows herself. She asked each recipient their preferences for pillow thickness and whether they were side, back, or stomach sleepers. My mom had many Omie pillows, and I grew up expecting my pillows to be soft and wonderful . My husband and children expect the same.
We also have down comforters on each bed, and daughter asked for a down mattress pad for her birthday this year. She insisted that we give her best friend a down comforter as a high school graduation gift. Friend says it is like sleeping under a cloud.
I don’t go in for decorative pillows, just fat and soft standard size bed pillows with plain white pillowcases. A good night’s sleep is important, and I think that good bedding is a sensible investment. I would rather have good bedding than fancy cars or boats or jewelry or any of the other things people buy to spoil themselves. It is just a good thing no one here is allergic to feathers.
Today’s post was first offered by Captain Billy of the Muskellunge in December of 2012.
Ahoy!
Me an me boys is mighty pleased t’ see that them scientists at NASA is finally startin’ t’ look at th’ planet Earth through pirate eyes! They has just released brand new detailed pictures of our world after dark, wi’ the sparlklin’ lights of th’ cities glowin’ fer all t’ see!
There’s lots of bright spots, an that gives us hope!
Dividin’ th’ light from th’ dark is th’ same method me an’ me boys uses t’ tell the th’ planet’s booty-rich zones from them what don’t have much booty at all. When we’s sailin’ down th’ coast, deliberatin’ about where t’ go scavengin’ next, we always heads t’ th’ light. Just like yer sposed to do in them dreams about dyin’.
An when we arrives at th’ next happy, well-lit place wi’ our daggers drawn, th’ people is always surprised on account of they didn’t notice us comin’ – they was blinded by their own glare. That there’s somethin’ t’ keep in mind on a planet-wide level.
Our Earth is mighty special-lookin’ from afar – quite attractive t’ interstellar swashbucklers.
I ain’t sayin’ there’s space pirates.
But I ain’t sayin’ there ain’t.
The twinklin’ lights is pretty at night. But if you wants t’ keep th’ peace, best t’ always draw yer blinds an’ sleep wi’ one eye open!
Yer seafarin’ pal,
Capt. Billy
I suppose the Captain has a point – when I go on a nigh time walk, I notice some houses carefully draw the blinds and others are less private, challenging passers by to be polite and look away.
Today’s post comes from Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing Minnesota’s 9th district – all the water surface area in the state.
Greetings constituents!
As the district thaws out for spring 2016, I’m encouraged to see many of our residents still honoring the tradition of having a contest around when the ice will ultimately leave their local lake.
Once my dad and his friends dragged a broken-down 1940 Studebaker Champion out about a quarter mile from shore to see how long it would take for the thing to drop.
But that was back in the day when nobody would complain if you tossed a car in the water and left it there.
We don’t do that kind of oil-slicked, gravity-based, gambling anymore, but I’ve been running into a lot of people lately who want to know the same thing about Donald Trump – as in: “He’s big, he’s an eyesore, he’s been sitting way out there for a long, long time – when is he finally going to disappear beneath the waves?”
I’ve been around elections far too long to feel OK predicting the political demise of anyone. Oh, demise comes to all politicians, but just like comedy, timing is the key!
Recently, the Republican Party establishment has been outspoken about trying to hasten the end of the Trump candidacy, with no real effect.
I think people are beginning to realize that Trump is a NEW kind of political animal – one that feeds on our scorn! It used to be that pure, focused criticism destroyed careers. The most successful kind of politician tried to be loved by virtually everybody and negative comments ate away at their support. Donald Trump has turned that equation on its head. You can’t defeat Trump by disapproving of him because that just makes him stronger. Attention is the fuel he runs on, so the only way to weaken him is to pretend that he is boring!
That’s why, whenever I see Trump on one of my many screens, I force myself to yawn.
At first it felt odd, but it became easier and now it’s almost automatic. I’m actually starting to think he IS boring.
I’m not saying it will change things overnight, but in the same way children work to save Tinker Bell by clapping, I think we can send Trump back into the murky depths of Lake Biggity with a coordinated, open-mouthed, closed-eyed campaign.
Like internet cat videos, yawning is contagious and potentially viral. And even if it doesn’t change the election, it might help distressed Americans get the rest they so desperately need!
I’m not much of a shopper and I’m pretty sure if there is a shopping gene, then mine is either deficient or non-existent. My favorite places to shop are either strip malls (park in front of store, go in store, buy item, leave store, drive away) or a place like Target, where you can park once and purchase an umbrella, a tank top, vegetarian sausages and aspirin all in the same place. I’m also “frugal” and a lower price point almost always appeals to me.
So I think it’s interesting that there are a few products that I am loyal to, going out of my way to find them or spending more to have them (or both).
I grew up in St. Louis where Ralston Purina products proliferate. As a child Ralston Hot Cereal, which is a whole wheat cereal, was a cold weather staple at my house. My mother served it with butter and brown sugar, which is how I still like it. When I moved to the Twin Cities you could still find Ralston in the cereal aisle, but eventually it faded out of the market. For several years my mother would buy it at her local grocery store and ship it to me. When her grocery stopped carrying it, I called Ralston and they sent me to a couple of online sources, which is where I still buy it today, even though it’s more expensive than picking up something at the store. It’s not significantly different from a few other whole wheat hot cereals, but there’s just something about it that makes it special to me.
The other product I stubbornly cling to is Prell Shampoo. I can still remember the old Prell commercials with the pearl sinking slowly through the green shampoo. Prell smells great to me and even though I know in my brain that more suds don’t actually make my hair cleaner, I LOVE the suds. Not too many places carry Prell anymore so I find myself making a separate trip to Walgreens to buy my shampoo.
I’m guessing that some of my loyalty to these brands is the positive memories that they invoke from my childhood. Or we could go with the simpler “I just like what I like”.
Today’s post comes from Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty.
Greetings civilians!
It’s a great day to be alive, and an even better day to stay alive. January, the most frightening month, is nearly over! Which means (to me), that things can only get better from here, unless they get worse.
This, as you know, is my mantra, though I’m reconsidering it at the moment. I’ve heard that chanting the same phrase over and over again can dry out your vocal cords. That’s not good! Maybe all mantras are a health threat. Perhaps I should downgrade this to a simple motto or a mere saying.
I’m checking in with you today to bring your attention to some very alarming news out of California and Texas – two vast places where accepted standards of behavior tend to be the opposite of cautious. These are very troubling states.
In Hawthorne, California, a big construction firm plans to build a test track for Elon Musk’s Hyperloop. This is the tube-based 800 mph transit system that promises to get people from San Francisco to Los Angeles in 30 minutes.
But this Hyperloop thing has picked up some extra steam of late, I say that knowing full well that if steam were actually involved in propelling the thing it would be even more frightening!
In addition to the test track, there is a competition going on this very day at Texas A&M University where 120 college and high school teams are vying to design a “pod” that would rocket people through this tube.
“Albert Robida – The Twentieth Century – Pneumatic Tube Train” by Albert Robida – Albert Robida’s The Twentieth Century (1882). Licensed under Public Domain via Commons
Some folks find this notion admirable and exciting. But I think asking teenagers and twenty-somethings to design a vehicle that I might ride in someday will yield concepts that are absolutely terrifying!
After all, we’re talking about an age group that enjoys roller coasters! They are famous for believing they will live forever and nothing bad can happen to them. And have you ever looked at the back seat of a car that has been driven around by high schoolers for a day? Don’t! They have no concept of cleanliness or order. The possible negative outcomes of tossing a half-eaten slice of pizza over your shoulder is something that simply cannot be considered by a teenage driver when there is a new tweet to read or send.
They are creatures of the modern era, which means they have no historical awareness that dignity and travel can co-exist. These are the people designing your conveyance of tomorrow! Why am I not enthused? It’s all about temperament, priorities and expectations. Look for USB ports, recliners and cup holders. Don’t hold your breath for designs that include cushions, headroom or bathrooms.
.
Where is the Hyperloop Pod design competition bringing together the best plans of senior citizens, nurses, nannies, worrywarts, baby carriage safety inspectors and worst-case scenarists? These are the people who have the kind of safety smarts that could lead to a sensible, comforting design – something close to my ideal Hyperloop Pod – which is one that’s securely bolted to the tube so it cannot move!
The leading concepts produced today may travel on the test track before the year is out. I fear I know exactly what they will be like, in the same way you can be assured that when you climb into a sealed tube, you’ll eventually be spat out at the other end!
Yours in Safety,
B.S.O.R.
What do you need to have in your long-distance traveling compartment?
I have been on my feet in the kitchen for three days straight, faithfully baking the eleven different kinds of Christmas cookies my family expects to see displayed on the table when we sit down for our holiday meal.
Each cookie type calls for a specific set of ingredients and requires that I perform a carefully choreographed ritual that usually involves standing at the counter, kneading the dough, kneeling before the oven, wearing the ceremonial mitts, and arranging the finished offerings in a sacred tin.
At the meal, my cookies are the final course before we head off to church. But at that point I’m sore from standing and exhausted from the cookie-baking effort. I feel like I’ve already been to worship and I’d much rather take two ibuprofen and have a nap.
Does that make me a heretic?
Confusedly,
Aching Baker
I told Aching Baker she is NOT a heretic because all of her rituals seem perfectly ordinary and are widely practiced whereas heretics go very much against the grain. Also, “heretic” would be a good name for a twelfth type of cookie – probably something with a big fat walnut in the middle.
But cookie baking is a form of personal sacrifice, and if she is concerned that not going to church after all that work will somehow count against her in the final tally, I would like to suggest that a good long nap is also form of sacred meditation.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Today’s post comes from Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing all the water surface area in the State of Minnesota.
Greetings, Constituents,
I am often asked who I support for President in 2016. Whenever this comes up, the first thing I have to do is check to see if I’ve thrown my own hat into the ring. So far, every time I’ve looked I’ve discovered that I’m not in the running. But I do like politics and I enjoy watching the debates for the color and pageantry, although usually with the sound turned down.
I know a lot of people complain about the number of candidates we’ve produced but I take it as a point of pride. The United States is bounteous in all things, and when I see a platoon of prospective presidents take the stage, my heart swells.
And I have to say I do like the uniform. Black suit. White Shirt. Red tie.
That’s for the men. For the women, simple dresses in bright colors, with red a clear favorite because back in the day it was the one eye-catching color that could get Ronald Reagan’s attention at a crowded press conference.
There is very little room to depart from this formula. Remember the shock and horror last summer when President Obama wore a brown suit? People are pretty clear about what they want. Like Top 40 music, presidential fashion has been thoroughly focus-grouped and the results offer very little room for improvisation.
I guess the tie can lean a little more toward burgundy, if you’re daring.
I want a commander-in-chief who will do whatever is necessary to serve our nation. So I was pleased to see that at their debate last night, most of the Republican candidates toed the line and wore the uniform. After all, if you’re going to win an election to lead the Land of the Free, you can’t be too independent. Those two guys who chose totally non-red ties must not want to be President very much.
I know they all have policy positions too, but it’s still so early in the process I don’t have time to pay attention to that. Those positions are bound to change anyway, as the pitch broadens out to include more Americans. I’ll catch up with the political survivors in August of 2016, when things like ideas start to matter.
But for now, it’s all about appearances. That’s why, when I see the uniform on display, as it was so clearly last night, I shake my head in wonder at the marvelous system we have created!
Trail Baboon 