Category Archives: Uncategorized

Steve Slew a Dragon

Thanksgiving will always be a day during which I stop at least once to think about Steve, who we lost in 2021.  Steve was the first baboon that I met in person; I’ve read all his books; I remember his horror when he realized he had fed me something with chicken stock.  I still miss him on the trail.  Here is another of his posts, one of my favorites from April of 2021.

A friend and I used to discuss troublesome issues in our lives. We called them our “dragons.” Dragons are problems can only be dispatched with exceptional effort and resolve.

Few problems qualify as dragons, which is good. Most of us handle routine problems with routine efficiency.  Alas, some problems are a lot nastier or complicated than others.  Some of us have anxieties that prevent us from addressing certain issues forthrightly. Sometimes problems become entangled with side issues. Throw some procrastination into the mix, and what could have been a baby problem might grow up and begin belching enough fire to qualify as a dragon.

Examples? You don’t gain street cred as a dragon killer for beating a head cold, but beating cancer will earn you respect with anyone. Overcoming any addiction would surely count. The friend referenced in my opening paragraph slew a dangerous dragon when she escaped a marriage that was destroying her soul. From what I’ve read, the nastiest dragon Barack Obama faced down in his two terms as president might have been nicotine.

My most recent dragon should have been no big deal. Last September my computer emitted an electronic scream, seized and died. I had expected that. Computers typically remain healthy and functional for five to ten years. My fifteen-year-old computer was clearly living on borrowed time. I had prepared by backing my data files, although I could not back my applications.

I bought a replacement computer loaded with Microsoft’s Office, a choice forced on me because that is the only way I could get Word, the word processing app I’ve used for thirty-four years. Office costs $70. That is probably reasonable, although it irked me to pay for a suite of ten programs just to get the one program I use. But Microsoft enjoys something like a total monopoly on basic Windows business software.

Microsoft inserts a feature in the Office software that causes it to shut down unless users can prove that they have paid for it. To validate my purchase, I peeled back a piece of tape that covered the confirmation code. The tape ripped the cardboard beneath it, destroying the middle six numbers of a code of about twenty numbers. As it was designed to do, my software soon froze rock solid. I could not create new documents nor could I edit the many files already on my hard drive. Every time I turned on my computer, a niggling message from Microsoft reminded me I had not validated the purchase. As if I could forget!

Worse, there was no way I could contact Microsoft. The company recently eliminated its customer service office. Microsoft now directs customers with problems to some internet data banks that supposedly answer all questions. Of course, the data banks say nothing about what to do when the company’s own security tape destroys a validation number. I learned there are many businesses claiming they can help customers struggling with Microsoft apps. Those businesses didn’t want to talk to me until I shared my contact information or subscribed to their services. Then I’d learn again that my particular problem could not be resolved by anyone outside Microsoft. And nobody inside Microsoft would speak to me.

Over a span of seven months I spent many wretched hours dialing numbers and writing email pleas for help. The shop that sold the computer to me clucked sympathetically but told me to take my complaints to Microsoft. Members of a group called “the Microsoft community” kept telling me it would be easy to fix this issue, but none of them could provide a phone number that worked. While I could have purchased the software again for another $70, the rank injustice of that was more than I could bear.

I finally learned about a set of business applications called LibreOffice, the top-rated free alternative to Office. It is open source software, free to everyone. But people who put their faith in free software often get burned, for “free” often just means that the true price is hidden. I worried that this software would not allow me to edit all the documents I’ve created over thirty-four years of writing with Word. And—silly, silly me—I kept hoping I could find one friendly person in Microsoft who would thaw my frozen software. So I dithered for weeks.

Last week I took a deep breath and downloaded LibreOffice. It loaded like a dream. LibreOffice’s word processor, “Writer,” is friendly and intuitive. Ironically, I like it quite a bit better than Word. With it I can edit all my old Word documents, and I used the new software to write this post.

That particular dragon is dead, kaput and forever out of my life. Other dragons await my attention, malodorous tendrils of smoke curling up out their nostrils. I did not triumph over Microsoft, as that smug firm never even knew it had a conflict with me. Still, I celebrate the way this all ended. When we slay a dragon, the most significant accomplishment might be that we, however briefly, have triumphed over our personal limitations.

Any dragons in your past that you wouldn’t mind mentioning?

Murder at Gull’s Nest

As you all know, a lot of things strike my interest where books are concerned – recommendations from friends, stories online and titles.  Give me a good title and I’m all in.  At least to start with.

I see a lot of books on Facebook these days.  And as if they are tempting me personally, there are a lot of catchy titles.  Here are a few that I have on hold at the library right now that I chose simply from their titles:  The Dead Husband Cookbook, Inside of a Dog, Seven Reasons to Murder Your Dinner Guests, And Then We Hit a Rock.  Based on my luck with these kinds of picks, most of these probably won’t get finished.  And Then There Were Scones only made it about three chapters.  Awful.

So I approached Murder at Gull’s Nest by Jess Kidd with a bit of trepidation.  I think if the library started a section of Cozy Mysteries, it would probably be shelved there and to be fair, it did tick off all the cozy “boxes”, but not in a way that is run-of-the-mill way.  The characters are real, the story is compelling and importantly I wasn’t able to figure out the murdered until almost 75% of the way through the book.

And even more importantly, the language was fabulous; I do love a good turn of phrase:

  • “Outside, the sky is brightening, which is of no concern to the room, daylight being dissuaded by heavy velvet drapes and the somber yews that crowd about the window.”
  • “Nora steps into a cheap café and orders a pot of tea. When it arrives it is what she hoped for:  decent and strong with a skin a mouse could skate on.”
  • “Humans can’t tolerate emptiness for long… if I’m empty then I can receive, if I can receive it means it comes from somewhere outside of me, if it comes from outside of me I’m not alone!”
  • “Jesus, who would want to read about a failed old nun, with her stipend, and second-hand shoes.”

So I’m recommending this book to everybody and have requested a couple more Jess Kidd titles

Have you read something recently just because it had a good title?  How did that turn out?

Concrete Herring! or What Color is Your Herring?

This weeks farming update from Ben

My schedule has been a little crazy lately. Next week will be better.  🙂

I hear there are places in the country where the weather on the evening news doesn’t take ten minutes. I don’t need the full ten minutes, I just want to know the 12-48 hour forecast, and the 7 or 10 day forecast, Which I know is just a guideline. Especially this time of year, when the forecast has some pretty drastic changes coming.

No, the corn still isn’t out and I don’t want to talk about it. The grain elevators are closed on the weekends now, because 99.8% of the harvest is complete. So I don’t expect anything this weekend unless they finish everything at their place and they just come in and fill up the trucks on Sunday. 

I wrote a long story about the thermostat in my shop and I threw all that away and tried to make this a shorter story. A red herring was involved and suffice it to say human error played a part. Because of course it did.  

I use a wifi thermostat so I can monitor it from the house. It worked last year. This year, it worked while I’m out there, but it didn’t work when I came to the house. 

One day it died completely so I bought a new one.  Installing that and I blew a fuse up in the heater itself. Another trip to town for an ‘E’ fuse. An E fuse? Never heard of an E fuse. Oh, it’s a ‘3’ not an ‘E’. Thank goodness I figured that out on my own and didn’t say that to the guy at the auto parts store. Then of course there was a new app and all of that rigamarole. And that night in the house and it wouldn’t connect again. 

The day we poured the concrete, including the slab outside the front door, I used a side door, and a different light switch. Turns out, the outlet I have the heater plugged in to is tied into the 3 way switch for the lights. And I hooked that up myself, this wasn’t the electricians fault. Other than they didn’t know I wanted an outlet for the heater, which is why I did it myself. But how come it worked last year?? Because the heater was plugged into a wall outlet and because the electricians weren’t here until March, and I didn’t get the heater outlet installed until April.  So now, when I come into the shop and turn the lights on, the thermostat works. When I leave and turn off the lights, the thermostat turns off. Well, don’t I feel like a dunce. How could I tell the thermostat was off once I left the shop?? I thought the problem was the wifi. Nope, that was the red herring. The problem was the thermostat wasn’t even ON.

I have it plugged into a regular outlet again and I can tell you, by the app, it’s 46 degree’s out there at 56% humidity. 

We did get the concrete done on Tuesday. Yay! Check that off the list! A big job, and I had the easy job in the tractor hauling the cement from the truck outside, to the pad inside. 

(Two reasons; the truck wouldn’t fit inside the shed, and I didn’t want him backing onto the existing concrete slab). When they poured the inside slab a couple years ago, they used a little “buggy” to haul the concrete. This was the same thing, only different.) The truck driver was great! Randy. 65 yrs old, been driving a concrete truck for 38 years. We joked before he got there, would he know we were amateurs? I told him right up front, feel to offer advice. He just picked up the bull float and got right in there helping. 

Took about 2 hours to get it all dumped and leveled. I was a little bit short of product and left a bit of a gap on one end of the walkway pad. I expect to finish that with 10 bags of concrete mix I picked up.  

About 6:00 PM I was able to start smoothing off the concrete with the hand trowels. (I Learned the difference between magnesium floats and steel floats. You use magnesium when you’re first leveling, and steel to do the final finish.) 

It was about 8PM when I was trying to finish the big slab and smooth around the drain. The concrete was getting too firm by that point and it was a little too late to be working it. All in all, it’s not bad for the first time for a bunch of newbies. It will look better when it gets some dirt on it to cover the imperfections.

I spread out tarps and covered the outside ones with straw. 

A few days later I pulled off the tarp and moved the dumpster over there. This right here was the original point of all this. 

I wonder how much snow will blow in here?
My brother using the bull float on the first piece.
Working on the big slab inside the shed.

Our son helped, my brother helped, Padawan’s girlfriend helped, (Padawan was at work) and Kelly helped. They all admitted this was harder work than they imagined.  And we all learned a lot. Next summer’s plan is to do another slab inside. My brother isn’t sure he’ll help again next summer. Son says he will find more younger helpers.

I’m just glad it’s done. I had a beer that night. I’ve been waiting to finish the concrete to have that beer. 

We thought for sure we’d have a dog footprints in it somewhere. Or Luna was gonna drop a ball into it. We locked them in the shop at one point.

Inside slab done. Won’t drive on it for a week yet, and will get it backfilled shortly.
You haven’t seen the chickens lately. Here’s the chickens eating some left overs.

I have a new appreciation for the people doing concrete work and making it look easy.

HAVE YOU STOPPED MISLEADING PEOPLE?

Cooking With Gas

One major adjustment to living in our new house is relearning how to cook with a gas stove. My parents had a gas stove until I was about 18 when we moved to a new house and they had a glass topped stove installed.

My mother instilled in me a fear of gas stoves. In her mind they were just bombs waiting to explode. I know there are lots of safety features in these stoves now, but I still am anxious. With a glass stove top, spilling liquids or having drips from lids that are slightly askew is no big deal. On one of my first forays into using the new stove last week I spilled a very small amount of water near a burner and it wouldn’t ignite, just clicked with no flame until a few minutes had passed and the water evaporated. We are being much more careful as we cook so we don’t spill on the stove top.

It is hard for Husband to hear the igniting clicks if he doesn’t have his hearing aids in, so I find myself surreptitiously monitoring his stove use. I hope I can relax as we get more experience with this stove. It cooks things really well and we seem to have more control as we cook and bake. The phrase “Now you’re cooking with gas!” was a marketing slogan to encourage people to switch from wood or coal burning stoves to gas stoves in the 1930’s. It then became a general idiom to indicate the someone was doing really well. I hope we can “cook with gas” as we learn to cook with gas.

What are your experiences with gas stoves? Any favorite idioms or sayings?

A Penny for Your Thoughts?

I’ve heard folks rail about pennies for years but really didn’t pay much attention to them.  It surprised me in reading the news of the last pennies being minted this week, that it actually costs 4 cents to make a penny.  It’s shocking to me that we’ve been minting these coins for awhile at a 300% markup.  Why didn’t we quit this silliness earlier?

When I was growing up, my dad kept a jar on the dresser and every night all the coins in his pocket went in.  My mother used to fish out any quarters, dimes and nickels that she found but she left the pennies until the jar was full, then she took them to the bank.  Occasionally a few pennies would be meted out to me and my sister, but not too often. 

I discovered last January when I visited, that my mother is still putting coins into a jar in her chiffarobe.  Apparently she doesn’t do this on a regular basis, just when she thinks her wallet is getting too heavy.  Quarters go in a separate jar for the washer and dryer in her condo building.  I also discovered that banks are no longer very interested in helping the public deal with their coins.  And those coin machines you occasionally see at grocery stores?  A pretty hefty fee and the grocery store near my mom’s would only give you store credit.  A little calling around and I did find a bank about 15 minutes away that had a sorting machine, but you had to deal with it yourself.  Not too awful but you could only put in one kind of coin at a time so it was laborious.  Luckily it was a branch of my mom’s bank, so I could just deposit the money into her account.

No coin jars at my house and if there had been, that experience with my mom’s coins would have cured me.  The news is that people are worried that every business will eventually start rounding up the price of your purchases.  Personally I can see that happening with cash purchases, but with so many purchases being credit card/cyber transactions, I’m not too worried.  

Was there a coin jar in your house growing up?  What about now?

BOO! HISS!

The 1940’s station I listen to on SXM has changed to Christmas music already. 

Bah. 

The neighbor guys say they should get to my corn this week. Well, we’re running out of week. I heard recently the grain elevators are full and they may not be taking corn anymore. Great. I wanted something else to worry about.

Waiting on a road repair on the township road that goes into our place. The ONLY road into our place. I’m sure they’ll do that the day we start combining. Mumble mumble mumble…

The 630 tractor I’ve been repairing on and off for 2 years now. I had it running; I got the main hood back in place and got the air cleaner and muffler installed.

Coming together. Air cleaner and muffler on the top!

And then the starter, which some times acts up, started acting up again. I knew there was a bad wire down underneath, so I pulled the flywheel cover off, got underneath the tractor and took the cover off the starter and disconnected the wires, pulled them up and out of there, pulled the four bolts out and removed the lower dash, disconnected one more wire, took out the four bolts for the upper dash and gauges, disconnected a second wire, built a new wire harness, taped it all up with heat shrink tubing to make it look all professional like, put it all back together and installed the starter cover while that voice way in the back of my head said ‘You didn’t test this yet’ but heck, I know it’s fixed. And I touched the ground wire to the frame and the starter starts to spin. Crap. Key on or off doesn’t matter, the starter spins all the time. It’s not supposed to spin until I push the start button. It doesn’t engage to start the tractor, it just spins. 

Sigh.

I took the cover off again and tapped on the starter with a hammer. GENTLE taps. Nope. Still spinning.

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Luna on the left, flywheel is the ‘X’, starter poking through in the right circle.

Sigh. 

OK, it’s just three bolts to get the starter out; will take it to the starter repair guy. 

The lights down in the feed room haven’t been working. I replaced the bulbs the other day and they still didn’t work. Hmm, it’s dark early these days you know, I’d like to have lights in there. The barn lights work. I trace a wire and know they should be powered by the barn lights meaning it’s not a breaker. There’s a box in the barn that maybe is the problem, but the box is covered with 17 layers of whitewash. 

Anyone remember or know of whitewash? Tom Sawyer was probably using whitewash on that fence he got the neighbor kids to do. 

When we were milking cows, we had a guy come out annually to white wash the inside of the barn. Whitewash is a mix of lime and a few other things mixed with water. Evidently it has mildly antibiotic properties. And it dries to a hard surface that will still rub off on your hands or clothes. In the barn, it was a nice finish the milk inspector would approve. Applying it was messy and we had to cover the pipeline (or wash it off when they were done). And once dried, it sure looked nice. Back to this electrical box; it’s covered with 17 layers of whitewash (which is also mildly corrosive on metal) and I don’t want to start digging into that electrical box because it’s gonna turn into a whole big deal. 

The next option was to see if there’s power to the switch in the feed room. I got a handful of tools and the gator since I knew it will be more than one trip back to the shop. Pulled the cover off, took the wires off, and when I touch them together, the lights come on. Yay! Back to the shop for a new (used) switch and I have lights again. That project took longer than expected. 

I finally got the drain finished in the new concrete. Only took 4 trips to ‘save big money’ to get this glued together. I haven’t finished the outside portion yet, but that’s easy; it was the inside that was the priority.

I’ve got concrete ordered for the 18th now. 

I was doing some research about concrete and cold weather. I know you don’t want it to freeze. Research shows that’s only for a day or two while it is curing. Cover it with a tarp and some straw and it’s all OK at these temperatures. Concrete gives off some heat while curing anyway. Whew! 

My schedule lately has been busier than usual. Got through the college show, then lit a small show in Mantorville (not a melodrama. Are you familiar with melodrama’s? The audience is expected to boo and hiss the villain and cheer the hero. Back in my youth ((1985)) I was the Hero’s buddy and I won the coveted Golden Oink Oink award for my performance. A big ham in other words.) Then I have another show to light at the Rep. And some outside rental events at the college in the evenings. It will be Thanksgiving soon, then it’s into Holiday concerts at the college. Plus my forensic chemistry class, and pouring concrete, and random stuff to do at home. And IF THEY EVER GET MY CORN OUT I’ll want to get some tillage done this fall before the ground freezes or it gets too muddy. I’m not stressed. I’M NOT STRESSED I SAY!This is pretty normal for fall. Kelly knows she doesn’t see me much between the first of November and middle of December. Some how it all works out. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

You may remember we have this Joseph at home. He was rescued from a ditch and we decorate him for the holidays.

The Mantorville show has these plastic figures sitting on the side of the stage.

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Jedediah and his wife Bertha.

I sent a picture to Kelly. We laughed, This is Joseph’s twin, Jedediah, and his wife Bertha. Jed to the family. Jed has had a much more bourgeois life… “No ditch life for him” as Kelly says.

GOT A TWIN OR A DOPPLEGANGER? WHO HAVE YOU BEEN MISTAKEN FOR?

EVER BEEN BOOED?

Optical Illusions

Earlier this week I thought of this song as I watched our dog navigate the space in our new home:

How much is that dog in the credenza?

The one with the beard that is grey.

How much is that dog in the credenza?

Why won’t he come out and play?

Kyrill hasn’t had much opportunity to look into mirrors until now. We had this curio cabinet with a mirror that we kept in the basement in our old house. The new house has more space upstairs, and we could move the cabinet upstairs. Kyrill saw the dog in the mirror, wagged his tail at it, and spent much of a day peering into it. He really loves playing with other dogs and wanted the dog to come out.

Kyrill’s breeder told me that his show Ceskys love to parade back and forth in front of hotel room mirrors. I wonder if they know that it is them or think it is some other dog?

What are your favorite optical illusions? How have your pets reacted to mirrors?

Bye Bye Summer

I swear I’m not doing yet another blog about hand pies, despite the header photo. 

A discovery was made a couple of weeks ago that if I ask Alexa to play “You Butter My Bread” by the Divers, I will get a nice mix of songs that remind me of TLGMS.  Some of the songs are actually TLGMS favorites.  

Yesterday morning, while I was making something that I’ve promised I won’t mention, I made my request and one of the songs that Alexa coughed up was “Canned Goods” by Greg Brown.  You all know I adore this song; this morning, looking out a the slight dusting of snow on the neighbor’s roof, I realized that it’s official that summer is over. 

So going into fall/winter, this is what I’ve put up this year:  strawberry jam, raspberry jam, pesto, applesauce, tomato sauce, basil/oil cubes, chive/oil cubes, mint/lime juice cubes, strawberries, raspberries and grapes.  Somehow it doesn’t seem like I’m keeping up with Greg Brown’s grandmother!

Any favorite summer songs to tide us over?

WHO’S A GOOD CHICKEN?

This week’s farm update from Ben


This week I was defeated by cheap electronics that think they’re smarter than me.

We have one of those little fake fires in the college show. The bowl with the fan, and the orange lights, and  the silk. I have a 12 volt battery connected to a power inverter (which takes 12 volts and makes it 120 volts) and the fake fire is plugged into that. It is all tucked under a table and the fire sits on top and it worked fine until one of the actors accidentally bashed the table into a wall. And then the power inverter didn’t work anymore. Which is disappointing to me, it’s all solid state, there’s no fuse inside because I took it apart to look, but all it does is give me a red “fault” light and it doesn’t do anything else. 
I went to the local electronic store and picked up a really cheap inverter and a little bit better one. Apparently the old one didn’t care if I only had 11.5 volts, it would still power the fire. The new ones want 13 volts and if they don’t have it, they don’t output anything except a loud annoying beeping. I tried a couple batteries wired together in parallel, I tried different batteries, and I tried other various assemblies without success. Between the two shows on Thursday I went over to the auto department of the College. They always look at me funny when I walk in with my arms full of whatever it is I’m working on for a show. They probably think it’s kind of fun and I think they do enjoy helping, but they still look at me funny. They suggested a jump pack, like they use to jumpstart your car these days. They even let me borrow one for the afternoon and that worked great. I’ve got one at home, it just never even dawned on me to try that. I took that in for the last couple shows. 


Cold weather coming for a few days. I think the snow they predicted is out of the forecast now. Still, I ran around Friday afternoon like there was a blizzard coming. I had to tell myself to just calm down. I drained all the hoses, put them away, took off the outside faucet I use for watering chickens. I parked all the tractors, the lawn mower, the gator, and the four wheeler in the shed. I finished power washing the deck and retaining wall. Both are in the shade and on the north side of the house so they get a lot of mildew and lichen on them. It sure looks nice when cleaned. One of those things you don’t realize how dirty it’s gotten. Once done, I drained that hose, and put the power washer in the heated shop.

My goodness! How did it get so grungy and we didn’t notice??

Driving into school in the mornings, the sun is at just the right spot now, it hits that gap in the visor. 

Achoo!

Another week it will have changed enough it won’t be a problem again. It sure does get dark early now. I like standard time; it just fits my body’s circadian rhythm better. Daughter is very upset it gets dark so early. 

I think all the deer in a 20 mile radius have moved to my corn fields. Just about all the other corn around here has been harvested and most fields are dug up for winter.  I don’t want to push the guys; they’ll get here when they get here to harvest mine. I just hope the deer leave me some corn. If you come down the driveway an hour after sunset, there are deer ALL OVER. Most coming out of the cornfield with an ear of corn in their mouth. Stupid deer. 

In one of the farm magazines, there was an article about an all-black chicken called an ‘Ayam Cemani’. They really are ALL black: Comb, skin, bones and even the meat is black. Their eggs are ivory colored. 

img_4948-1
 (Photo courtesy ‘Chickenscratchpoultry.com’)

Research shows these chicks can cost anywhere from $37 to $70 each. And I thought $5 was an expensive chick. The article I read says the chicken is “small, aloof, and only lays one or two eggs / week.” I won’t be getting any. That would be the first one eaten by a coyote. 

DOES SUNLIGHT MAKE YOU SNEEZE? ARE YOU A BIG SNEEZER OR A DAINTY SNEEZER?

Billows

I couldn’t find the cat yesterday afternoon, so I looked in our bedroom and found her snuggled in the down comforter we keep on our bed. She had been there for hours. You can see her in the header photo. She looks pretty comfortable, I think.

We have twelve very nice goose down pillows for the three queen size beds in our home, plus down comforters for each bed. Our friend who will live with us is allergic to feathers, so we bought two non-down pillows for her when she visits. The dog sleeps with us and also expects to have a pillow for his head at night. We are a spoiled bunch.

Husband’s allergies are so much better here. He is very allergic to cats and dust. There is very little dust compared to western North Dakota, and it seems the cat is shedding less now, probably because the humidity is higher. Our friend’s four cats will stay in the basement after she moves in, but I think we will get an air cleaner or two to mitigate any upward cat dander migration. I just had a Shark vacuum delivered that is especially good for pet hair, so I think we are covered. The dog doesn’t shed.

What kind of pillows do you prefer? Do you let pets sleep with you? If you have allergies, how do you manage them?