Dear Dr. Babooner,
Last night we took the Christmas tree down and dragged it out to the curb to wait in a snow bank for the truck that will cart it off to some dreary compost site. I know that I shouldn’t anthropomorphize an evergreen tree, but I’ve seen too many stop action holiday cartoons and Disney movies to completely banish the thought that my Christmas tree has feelings and enjoyed being decorated and kept in the cozy bosom of our home for all those weeks! How could any living thing (it was still drinking water!) NOT sense the togetherness and joy of our holiday celebration, and feel included? If a family gathered around YOU and sang pretty songs and opened delightful gifts, wouldn’t you feel like an important member of the group? And wouldn’t you be shocked when those same people suddenly stripped you of all your bright baubles and tossed you out the door?
I can’t sleep. The truck will be here soon and I’m thinking of going back out to get the tree. I could bring it back in and put it in the basement. Nobody ever goes down there but me. But what will I do in the springtime?
Tormented Over the Tannenbaum
I told TOTT it is perfectly natural to have separation issues regarding the Christmas tree, but perhaps it is the end of the holiday season being mourned, not the tree’s possible feelings of rejection. If you must endow the tree with human emotions and attitudes, consider how it would feel to be chopped down and carted away from the only home you have ever known, then forced into a smelly container (your house), humiliated by being made to wear all those garish lights and heavy ornaments, all while being fed chlorinated water and forced to stand just feet away from a fire – your mortal enemy. Being put out on the curb, nude, was probably a Godsend for your tree. Which is not to suggest that the tree believes in God.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?