Positive Lifestyle Changes

The month of March was pretty difficult for our daughter.  Early in the month she rear ended a large pickup with her Subaru Forester.  She was only driving about 30 mph at the time when the pickup in front of her stopped suddenly. She was cited for following too close.  The pickup sustained no damage. There was only $3000 damage to the front end of her car, but, since all eight of the air bags deployed, the insurance company wrote her car off.  It would cost $16,000 to repair them.  This, then, entailed her getting a rental vehicle, waiting for the damage estimate and the insurance cheque to get deposited in her account, and the purchase of a new vehicle.  There were tons of phone calls to me, with her in anxious agony when adjusters didn’t get back to her when they said they would or when the  cheque wasn’t deposited when it was promised.  (The local car dealership  was having a great sale on new Subarus, and she wanted to get in on the deal. They told her to just write them a cheque and they wouldn’t cash it until the insurance payment arrived.  Since the insurance payment was late, there was angst and heartburn that the cheque to the car dealership was going to bounce.)  This is the second car she has totaled in three years. Thank goodness the insurance company isn’t going to cancel her policy.  She lives in an area noted for horrible traffic and lots of accidents, and she isn’t even considered high risk.

March’s next blow was a doozy.  Daughter lives in a one bedroom apartment with her cat, a cat that never goes outside.  Last week daughter noted that her cat was particularly droopy and was avoiding eating and was hesitant to walk on the carpeted floor.  A closer look revealed that the cat and the carpets were infested with fleas. There were even fleas in her rental car.  Daughter surmises she brought fleas home with her from work.  She does intensive family therapy in people’s homes, and probably picked the fleas up in one of the homes. The same thing happened to her supervisor last year.  Daughter had no previous experience with fleas, so this meant multiple, distressed phone calls to me, trips to the vet, constant laundry and vacuuming, and setting off flea bombs in the apartment.  We are now flea free.

Daughter said that March’s events have prompted her to make positive lifestyle changes. She wants to slow down,  simplify her spaces, and get rid of unnecessary things and be more orderly. She said that when she cleaned her Forester out preparatory to  the insurance adjusters looking at it, she was appalled at all the junk she had there. “Mom! It looked like the Box Car Children were living in my vehicle!”  She stripped down to socks and underwear outside her front door after work the other night and put her clothes directly in the washing machine. I told her she could probably strip in the bath tub for the same results and less alarm for the neighbors.

It does no good to scold someone  when they are distressed, so my internal, unspoken monologue to Daughter during March has been a very constant and rapid “YOU NEED TO START  TAKING YOUR G** D***** ADHD MEDICATION AGAIN!!!  YOU ALWAYS DRIVE TOO FAST! SLOW DOWN! PAY ATTENTION!!  THERE IS NOTHING I CAN SAY THAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER RIGHT NOW.  DEAL WITH IT!!  HERE, TALK TO YOUR FATHER!!

It is no surprise my dentist told me yesterday that it looks like I have been grinding my teeth in the daytime. This is a recent development since my last checkup six months ago.  I imagine it really increased in March. I paid attention today and noticed just how much teeth grinding I am doing. I hope that as long as Daughter sticks with her positive lifestyle changes, I can make my positive lifestyle changes and save my tooth enamel.

What has prompted, or could prompt, you to make positive lifestyle changes?

41 thoughts on “Positive Lifestyle Changes”

  1. I am a political junkie. As such, I see the pictures of Tr$$p quite often. It appeared that he had begun wearing his ties much higher. With further review, that is not the case. His belly is growing. I know this from my weekend experience in wearing a suit and tie that had hung in the closet unused for the longest time. Belly fat has affected my sartorial elegance. So to semi-quote Tr##p’s Inaugural address: “This Weslian carnage stops right here and right now!”

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  2. Rise and Shine Baboons,

    Your misery gave me a chuckle this morning, Renee. I raised the boy version of your daughter! I now feel less alone.

    I am not sure what will prompt me to make changes now. I went through my own periods of having reality bite me hard as a young person. Most memorably there was the mealy worm infestation in the flour, then the bugs in the cat food. Those incidents sold me life style religion of keeping the house at a certain level of clean.

    There is always the weight loss goal, but that never lasts long…maybe I will completely ignore the news and stop privately diagnosing #45’s obvious and many, uhh, problems.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. My 47-year-old ADHD son calls us every day after work, these days usually at six when he gets off work at 4 in San Diego. My blood pressure goes up at about 5:50, if I am aware of the time, or when the phone rings if I am not. So many ways he messes up, but things just seem to happen to him. He made a huge change in his life a few years ago, lost 150 pounds. Then he met a woman. Not her fault. Just a bad mix. His son will turn five in August. I think maybe there is some autism in him, or Asperger’s, but I have said not a word.His very experienced preschool teacher says she has never seen a math mind like his in a four year old, but he has several hangs ups, such as getting very quickly very frustrated if he is supposed to hold any writing tool. When they get him to color, he will only use red. Hmm. But last night he on his own did a line drawing, loops and coils, in FIVE COLORS. He said it is a roller coaster, which it does indeed look like. I think maybe my son is Asperger’s to some degree. When I think about all my sensitivities to sensory input and how my mind works, I wonder about myself a bit.

      Liked by 4 people

  3. Last month I crossed into the last year of what feels like a very short decade. In a last ditch effort to improve my health, fitness, stamina, and quality of life, I’ve re-initiated several lifestyle changes designed to help me enter the next decade in better shape than I leave this one. Little effect has been realized, to date.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. One day at a time, OC. Whatever positive lifestyle changes you make will pay off in the long-run even if the short-term results you’d like to see aren’t as obvious as you’d like them to be.

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  4. My life style change I am facing is a wheel chair, I suspect. My right knee is very weak, and often wants to collapse, along with all my lower back issues. The knee is structurally sound. My left hip is similar some times, and it is sound. It all comes from nerve pinching and damage in my lumbar. I am now walking around the apartment some times with a four point cane. The shots they gave m three weeks ago are a failure. I told the PA I saw first that I fear I am losing the ability to walk. She did not respond. but I am much worse in the few weeks since I saw her. I called yesterday to report results of the shots, as they demand. I outlined it all. I could tell the nurse was not believing what I was saying because FM is a large part of the issues. The PA told me that my the MRI does not warrant any surgery, which is contrary to what the surgeon told me two years ago. So the nurse will tell my PA, but she has cancer and is in treatment right now and will not be in for 2 to 4 weeks. So I wait, but then she said there was no next step. I like and respect her, but wonder how much she focuses on patients right now. That clinic changed its procedures. You do not get to the surgeon until you are taken into surgery and you meet her when she is wearing a mask. So a change should be to change clinics. The other local option, and I have to be local, is the local Mayo, which should sound good, but they are often poor here. Their hospital here gets terrible ratings. And if I switch they will not accept the MRIs from the other clinic, so I would be taken back to zero and would have to wait months to have anything happen. SIGH.

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    1. OMG, the world of western medicine. I’ve just finished a very interesting book about an earlier model for WM, God’s Hotel by Victoria Sweet… she’s also just come out with a book called Slow Medicine. Not that it would change your situation, NS, but it’s such an interesting read.

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  5. I thought moving would have cured me of blindly accumulating, but we are approaching two years here and there is “encroachment” .. Am keeping a box in the garage, hope to bring several things out weekly for donation.

    I’ve lost some weight over the past year by cutting way back on breads and grains. Constant vigilance required to keep it off. Now I’m working on replacing 10:00 “spoonful” of ice cream with a glass of water or a few grapes. We’ll see how that goes.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am stunned by reading about all the problems my friends on this site are having. I thought I was having a bad year, but now I’m not sure I would want to trade agonies with anyone here. And, really, I have no afflictions that couldn’t be set right with by winning the lottery and getting access to a safe and reliable time travel machine.

    Liked by 5 people

  7. I think every family has multiple challenges – just different ones. I’d foolishly thought that once my three kids had established adult lives, my worrying would cease. Then came the divorces, my daughter sharing how abusive her ex had been, one grandson with emotional issues holding him back, another grandson involved with drugs, an impending break up of what seemed to be an ideal partner for my divorced son. That’s just the short list. At least no one in my family has been killed in a car crash or committed suicide or jobless! With 12 grandchildren and 3 kids, it does occur to me that a serious car crash could occur.

    Presently, between the political disaster going on and feeling terrible about losing the woman I wanted to be a daughter-in-law, I’m not in a happy space. I am working out five days a week for the last year, so that’s an improvement after 35 years of not even walking to my mailbox!

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  8. From the responses to today’s question, it appears that baboons are not nearly as interested in positive lifestyle changes as they are in names. I suspect the reason it this: positive lifestyle changes nearly always mean depriving yourself of something that you like, and worse yet, makes you partake in some exercise that you don’t really care for. At least that has been my personal experience. Complicating the matter is the fact the desired results often are slow in materializing.

    The lifestyle change that has been my primary focus for quite some time is trying to be my best self: kinder, gentler, less judgmental, more patient, not only with others but also with myself. Damn that’s hard work.

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    1. I didn’t want to say this earlier, for it is more negative than I wish it were, but the circumstances of my life do not grant room for “lifestyle changes.” I could elaborate, but prefer not to. The realities of my current situation are such that my best response is to cultivate good attitudes. And I think I’ve worked that angle as far as I can.

      Liked by 4 people

        1. I suppose it’s much like lifting your shoulders. After a while it hurts, but apparently it’s something many people do when they’re stressed. I catch myself with hunched shoulders frequently and have to deliberately try to relax them back to their normal position. People are a piece of work!

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      1. I hate insects that find their way into my life via my pets. Fleas are the worst.

        If memory serves, I have told before of the house I lived in in Carbondale and how it was infested with cockroaches. You could literally hear them scurrying behind the wood paneling on the kitchen walls at night. No amount of hammering on the wall with my Dr. Scholls sandals in a vain to squish them to death did any good. There’s a good reason why cockroaches are among the oldest living creatures on earth.

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    2. For me, it’s easy enough to get motivated to make changes (well, sometimes), but I always fail to keep up those changes. Sometimes it’s circumstances beyond my control, but more often it’s just lazy me regressing to the bad norm.

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  9. OT – Today is the 50th anniversary of MLK’s assassination. Those of us old enough to remember it probably have a vivid memory of it.

    Wasband and I were staying at his parents’ house on Long Island, biding our time before we could move to Carbondale a few months later, a pretty stressful situation for everyone.

    The lasting memory of that day and my mother-in-law is a comment she hurled at the blaring TV that night: “Why do they have to keep showing him”? The derision in her voice unmistakable. Wasband, to his credit, tried to explain to her the importance of MLK, but she’d have none of it.

    Our stay got increasingly tense after that. I moved out a few weeks later and in with my supervisor at W.T. Grant in Riverhead, just couldn’t tolerate the hostility in that house. Never spoke to my m-i-l again. Not something I’m proud of, but I just had no idea at the time of how to deal with a bunch of racist, hateful in-laws. Not sure I’d do any better today. Sigh.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. good for you, i had a set of those with first wife and a set again today. todays inlaws are parents and 3 kids, parents and one of the 3 kids are racists who deny that they are racist only against criminal hillary and obama… my wife and her brother are both strong supporters of truth justice and the american way.
      the comments made at every get together make it hard to look forward to. my wife does a great job of not getting upset with me for getting upset with the family she embraces. i just cant join her cutting slack to the ignorant buffoons she grew up amongst. when i met her she had not thought through all the stuff she now sees plainly and she cant understand how 25 years ago she didnt see how wrong the views she grew up with were. today we share core beliefs even if we approach it from different angles

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  10. i hear about daughters adhd and remember when i had my childhood multitasking issues before it was a thing.
    i am sure i have mentioned back my dads car into my moms, my moms car into my dads, my car in to their cars the cleaning ladys car got it. uncle joes car got it.
    i never had and accident on the road but the driveway was a hazzard zone at least 20 times in my first 3 or 4 years of dirving. not dents, full blown smacks with the truynk and nose or respective vehicles deeply involved. a 70 tbird made a lasting inpression in a vw bus let me tell you.

    as for improvements i am working on it every every every day and not close yet.
    drinking drugs gluten dairy tobacco all gone. if i quit swearing and lusting in my heart i can run for pope.
    but there is still long strides ahead.
    the 7 deadly sins get me every time
    every damn one of them

    Lust
    Gluttony
    Greed
    Sloth
    Wrath
    Envy
    Pride

    each one is bad but all seven make me fell like whats the use

    ill keep putting one foot in front of the other. fighting the good fight

    when did you start working for that company?
    as soon as they threatened to fire me

    when did you get your life in order
    when my legs got chopped off
    still working on it

    mickey mantle said
    if i knew i was going to live this long i would have taken better care of myself

    i can relate

    but the journey begins with the first step.
    every day

    Liked by 2 people

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