Smarty Pants

I don’t remember when I used to know everything, although I’m pretty sure I had a moment of that in my earlier life. I’m guessing about when I was 24? In the last week:

YA: What kind of flower is this?
VS: It’s a daisy.
YA: No it’s not.  It says “gerbera”.
VS: That’s a type of daisy.
YA: No it’s not.
VS: (while showing her a website) Yes, it is.
YA: (while walking away). I don’t think so.


YA: Why are there 2 separate bags of chocolate chips.
VS: One is milk chocolate and one is semi-sweet
YA: Why would anybody want a semi-sweet chocolate chip
VS: Because most folks don’t want to overwhelm their dessert w/ sweetness.  They are the most popular of the chocolate chips
YA: That’s not true
VS: Yes, it is.
YA: How do you know?
VS: Because I’ve stood in the baking aisle a million times and seen five times more shelf space given to semi-sweet.  And I’ve seen a bzillion recipes that call for semi-sweet and not nearly as many calling for milk chocolate or white chocolate
YA: (under breath grumbling)


VS: Did you want to put parchment down before you put the batter in?
YA: Why?
VS: It makes it easier to get the bars out and easier to clean up?  Cut it down so it just fits in the pan but doesn’t crumple up in the corners.
YA: Why?
VS: Because if it’s crumpled in the corners, the batter gets in there and bakes.
YA: Well, then you just pull the paper off.
VS: If the batter bakes in the crumples, it won’t pull off neatly.
YA: So?

When did you realize you didn’t actually know everything?

13 thoughts on “Smarty Pants”

  1. Wish I could remember how the conversation with Joel went, about why it’s OK to have decaffeinated coffee sometimes… I just remember him saying “That’s just WRONG.”

    I think it was mid- to late-twenties. Contemplating divorce from Wasband was a very humbling experience – HOW could I have been that stupid?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. For me it’s been downhill since I was sixteen. That was also the time of me perfecting the eye roll, especially when talking with my parents. How the heck did these two doofuses beget a genius like me? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done and said plenty of stupid things since then, but usually with the nagging feeling that I’d pay for this later, and with few exceptions, I generally have.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. It brings to mind the famous quote that is often attributed to Mark Twain:

    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

    I guess no one really knows where this quote comes from, but it does sound a little Twainesque.

    I don’t recall ever having much confidence that I was right. But there could have been a phase in my teen years that I don’t remember well.

    Then there’s this:

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Man, I have those conversations with Amelia pretty much every day. And the worst thing is, I hear myself talking with my dad at her age. Doesn’t it make you crazy??

    I had a work study at the college a few years ago who was really pretty smart. We were getting ready to rig something for a show and while I thought we needed “this” he had already gotten all “that” out. And I realized he was right. And I told him, “would you quit being so smart and just let me feel like I know what I’m doing for a while??”

    He’s traveling the world as a stagehand for major rock concerts.
    Great kid. Jason Arhelger.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. And I’ll tell this group because we’re all friends here, I find myself in the hospital with cellulitis. Edith and I have been exchanging notes.

    Started with an ache in my groin Friday afternoon. Saturday morning my foot was red and a little bit swollen. I thought I had pulled a muscle. Sunday I worked a show at the college and by night my entire calf had turned red and I had a blister on my heel from the crocs I had been wearing that day.
    And I swear, every time we looked at that blister it was bigger. Went to the doctor on Monday and Spent Monday evening in the emergency room, and when the surgeon finally lanced it, my friend Paul says that blister was the size of a Buick. Not really but it was seriously impressive.
    And here I am for a few days.
    Honestly I’ve had way too much fun in here; the people have been TERRIFIC! Everyone has been so caring and thoufhtful and professional, I feel so lucky and fortunate to have THE PEOPLE of Mayo Clinic taking care of me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Glad you finally sought medical attention. Cellulitis can get serious in a hurry.

      Hope Edith’s testing which started today is going well.


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