Yesterday’s discussion got me thinking … When you really have to choose one or the other, which is better? For some reason a website called bankrate.com took this one on.
I guess dealing with actual bank rates became too depressing.
A recycling website, reuseit.com, occupies the middle ground.
And like every other type of human conflict, this one has been in court. The contest was described in one of my favorite short radio programs.
The Living Law! Cases from the back files of the law firm of Badger and Hackle. Today, the highly emotional case of Paper V. Plastic.
The plaintiff, Paper, contended that the defendant, Plastic, had wrongly and wantonly usurped Paper’s position as all-purpose goods carrier to the nation. Furthermore, Paper alleged that Plastic damaged the previously solid reputation of the Single Use Bag Community (SUBC) with loose post-purchase behavior, defaming all bag-dom by blowing randomly in the wind, choking defenseless animals, collecting along fence lines and gathering in large, floating unregulated garbage piles far out at sea.
Plastic’s defense was that Paper’s charges arose from simple jealousy and typical sour grapes, which, if they were rotten and weeping, you would want to carry in a plastic bag. Possible reasons for this resentment include but are not limited to:
– Paper is fat and thick while plastic is thin and light.
– Paper is expensive to produce and wastes trees, while Plastic is magically extruded from oil, which is a finite resource that is already spread all over the ocean, so Plastic’s tendency to return there is only natural.
– Plastic is colorful while Paper is drab and brown.
Plastic’s attorney argued that Paper’s suit against Plastic was frivolous, and nothing more than the last gasp of a dying industry. He suggested that cashiers should ask the famous “paper or plastic” question differently, saying “Plastic, unless you feel you absolutely NEED to have Paper.”
If you were a judge, what would you say?
The answer after a word from our sponsor.
Have you ever been accused of wrongdoing and had the unpleasant task of finding an attorney to represent you? Most attorneys believe every person deserves a fair trial and they will defend even the lowest, sleaziest reprobate in the interests of keeping our legal system functional and fair. But if you did the crime, even some of these helpful lawyers will look down on you and they will not treat you with sympathy.
The attorneys at Badger and Hackle are different. Many of them were worthless punks when they were teenagers and twenty-somethings. A lot of them are still punks today!
So if you’re accused of a crime, consider bringing your case to the law firm of Badger & Hackle. Especially if you really, really did it. We relate to people who are a blight on the behind of society. No matter how awful you are, you deserve a lawyer who understands you!
Badger and Hackle – the ones to come to when you’re guilty!
The judge ruled that while Plastic had indeed engaged in reckless, harmful and morally suspect behavior, those actions reflected only on the reputation of Plastic and not on Paper or any other member of the Bag family, including Canvas, Cloth, Lunch, and Papa’s Got A Brand New.
Paper, the judge said, should “get a grip” and try not to “fall apart so easily.”
Sound unlikely? It’s the Living Law!
How do you feel about courtroom dramas?