I never took any Psychology classes during any of my college years. I have nothing against Psychology (and have benefited from it greatly during my life) but I just wanted to get my science requirements out of the way and Psych wasn’t offered when I needed a science class. Most of my psychology education comes from various Scientific American articles I’ve read over the years.
I think it’s safe to say that as a parent, one REALLY needs psychology. You just can’t make it through parenthood without figuring out your kids AND figuring out how to get your kids motivated to do what they need to get done. YA is almost 28 and I still struggle with this occasionally.
One of the things I have figured out is that sometimes you have to come at her sideways. She is too cool to get enthusiastic over some of my projects; when I brought home the haunted house kit (see photo above), she turned up her nose at it a bit. If she had been with me when I purchased it, she would have indicated it was not a good idea. But a few days ago I said “I’m going to do the haunted house tonight if you want to help”. She responded with a non-committal grunt but when I got everything set up on the dining room table, she showed up. And she did most of the decorating herself. This works pretty much all of the time… Easter egg dying, jigsaw puzzles, yardwork, cookie decorating. It even worked once on a snorkel sail when she was crabby and I said “Fine, you don’t have to go… I’ll see you later.”
If you take this route though, you have to be prepared to do the project by yourself; I think you really have to believe this or they hear it in your voice and then you’re sunk!
Been nice, sunny, warm-(ish) weather this week and looks nice into the coming week. Good time to get all those outdoor summer projects finished up.
We ended the growing season with about 3000 GDU’s, +200 above normal. Last year was +511.
Rosie and Guildy are fine, but they barely come out of their pen, and they’re not mingling with the others, and it will certainly complicate winter chores if those two keep being so anti-social. In a slight attempt at unification, I moved their water buckets a few feet further away and took the fence down. We’ll see.
This week was all about getting the college show up and running. It opened Thursday. It was mostly ready. Set was finished (well, to a point) and the paint was dry. Costumes… well… we made do. And it wasn’t for lack of ambition or determination by the costumer, it’s just that, well, life happens. So, it wouldn’t do the director or I any good to get mad; we know she was trying. And we had a good laugh about how we would have handled this 20 years ago. I said I would have had to take his clipboard away. (The joke is he used to throw it across the stage. Course now it’s an iPad) Now we sigh, and we laugh, and we know it will work out somehow.) And we go home and complain to our spouses.
There’s always one set piece that’s a challenge. I have a ‘ball of fire’ that the Fire Troll pulls. (That joke was “Fire BOWL?” or “Fire BALL?”) A wood frame, some plastic tubing wrapped around it, muslin soaked in paint covering it all. Painted yellows and reds. And then inside some fans blowing streamers up to be flames. I can’t imagine why that didn’t work. Sounded like a good idea! Evidently there is a lot more physics involved in air movement than I imagined. This was my ‘do-fer’ one night.
I walk past these photos every day.
The farm in about 1930 something.
An arial view of the farm in the mid to late 1950’s.
My Grandparents, before my Dad was added to the mix so this is about 1924.
And then this family, my grandparents and uncles. Don’t know who they are, but I can’t get over how tiny the mother is! Eleven kids!
Ever had a ‘Tiny Grandma’?
Have you mellowed or gotten feistier in the last 20 years?
I tend to have anxiety at the best of times, but my trip to Maryland has been one for the record books. I haven’t traveled much during the pandemic, and I haven’t flown anywhere without Husband for many years. I think Husband acts as a distraction, and his absence left me lost to my own awful imagination. I had a lot of sleep problems the two weeks before I left. My professional tricks for anxiety reduction were only marginally helpful.
I have fretted about countless small things, like was my hotel reservation ok since the confirmation email never arrived after three attempts by Marriot to send it. Of course, a weather system moved into our area bringing the first snow of the season the day I had to head to the airport. I have to drive 100 miles to the airport. There was slush, but I traveled safely. I spent the night in Bismarck since my flight left so early in the morning. I spent the night worrying whether it would be icy driving to the airport. It wasn’t.
On Tuesday I didn’t realize until after I checked my bag and went through security that the ticket agent forgot to give me a baggage claim check, so I worried all the way to DC how I would find my bag if Delta lost it. To cap the whole experience, the guy sitting next to me on the plane out of Minneapolis watched a movie about two women climbers stuck on top of a cell phone tower. I am really afraid of heights, and I tried to not to peek over at his screen, but I just couldn’t help myself. I could hardly stand it!
Well, I wrote this in my lovely hotel room in National Harbor that was waiting for me with my reservation. . My suitcase arrived when I did. The heroine was rescued from the cellphone tower, but not until she killed a vulture that attacked her and she ate it raw to give her strength to keep going. There is good weather predicted for Bismarck when I fly back. Why on earth was I so worried?
What about travel makes you anxious? What are your strategies for anxiety management?
In about a week, carpenters will arrive at our home and start demolishing two of our three bathrooms. One slated for renovation is just off our bedroom. The other is in the basement.
In order to prepare for the carpenters, we had to move three large bookcases in the basement that were full of vinyl record albums, sheet music, and all our cookbooks and various other books. The carpenters need access to the basement ceiling which is under the upstairs bathroom and right above the bookcases. As long as we were moving them, Husband decided to cull what he didn’t want or need anymore. His pickup is now full of what we threw out. We are exhausted but feeling accomplished. We were able to eliminate the contents of one bookcase entirely.
Next, Husband has to move all the things from the bathroom off our bedroom (the one which he uses) into the one I use that isn’t being renovated. For a couple of weeks, we will have to share a bathroom. This means I have to go through the cupboards in my bathroom to make room for Husband’s stuff from his bathroom.
We will be “at all sixes and sevens” most of November until the renovations are done. We are spending Thanksgiving with our son and family in Brookings, so no pressure to have the house all up to snuff. I am glad we don’t do this on a regular basis. I like having a bathroom to myself.
How many bathrooms do you have? What are your experiences with remodeling. How are you at sharing?
Today’s post comes from Ben. Header photo from Kelly.
Had a few real cold mornings. It was 21° on Tuesday morning, and below freezing for a couple days this week, but it was nice in the sun. I had to break the ice out of the chickens water buckets. The buckets are still outside for now. Don’t need the heated bucket quite yet. I did turn up some of the house heat.
The chickens have certainly dropped down on egg production. I got 2 eggs one night. The next day I got 8. Then 6, then 4, then 2 again. The last couple days it’s just been 2. It’s not the weather so much as this bunch of chickens is just aging out. The chicks from this spring should start laying any time now. I do add light to the pen, as it’s the amount of day light that triggers egg production. Some people let their hens take the winter off. I figure my hens have a pretty good life so I’m OK keeping them laying.
We picked up 10 young adult guineas from my friend Dave. He has an assortment of animals, mostly it seems because he and his granddaughter spend a lot of time on Craigs list finding animals. But come winter, they need to pare it down so they all have shelter. I’ve gotten good animals from Dave. And we were down to just 2 guineas, so this is nice. Kept them locked in a side pen for a couple days to learn that this is home now. They’ve been outside the last few days and the dynamics are interesting. They mix right in with the chickens and ducks, but the two older guineas are showing them who’s boss. There are 7 dark gray, two white, and a silver one. The silver one got outside a day before the others. And now they’re all shunning that one. I don’t know if it didn’t get along before or why this is happening.
Then Thursday night, as I closed doors, I was looking to see where the new guineas had settled for the night. Evidently, they were outside behind the barn as Humphrey the dog, scared them all out. They panicked and flew every which way. I saw one go up over the barn, another off in the trees, one down in the swamp. Friday morning there was only 7. Shucks. They make enough noise I’d hope they’d all find their way back together sooner or later.
I needed to fill all the water buckets one day and I knew the hose would be froze in the morning, so I did it in the dark after I got home one night. Got a lot of slush out of the hose but at least it wasn’t frozen solid. Here’s a photo of the poufy duck and some others.
I did get the pressure washer put into the well house. It’s a cumbersome process simply because there’s not much room for me AND the pressure washer. One of us at a time fits just fine. Add in some electrical conduit and a water pipe and it’s a bit more of a challenge. But if I lift it just so, and suck my stomach in, and grunt a few times, it fits. It’s in for the winter. I could find an easier place to put it… but… this is where it’s always been.
I’ve delivered some fall straw. Some for gardeners, some for chicken raisers. One of my neighbors raises strawberries so I’ve got 150 bales still on a wagon for him to cover the plants before winter.
One day on the blog I mentioned my dad helping and how Kelly looked forward to “Dad Stories”; me telling her what he had done that day, whether it was breaking something and going home, or just making me crazy. Oddly enough, now I can’t really remember any. When I had the Deutz tractor, it had a manual parking brake by the seat. A mechanical one you pulled up to set, then turned and pushed down to release. It wasn’t a very good parking brake given how many times we drove off with it still engaged. Dad did that often. I’d get in the tractor after him and the brake has been on for the last hour. That frustrated me. And he hated AC, so he’d open all the windows, filling the cab with dust. I’d roll my eyes.
As you read this post this morning, I will be welcoming four psychologist interns from the Human Service Center in Fargo to my Human Service Center on the opposite side of the state. The Fargo HSC has a 12 month internship accredited by the American Psychological Association, and when the interns finish next August, they will graduate with their doctorates and start their postdoctoral training wherever in the US they choose to go. They are being sent out to tour the two centers in the western part of the state in hopes that they would consider doing their postdoctoral training at our western HSC’s that are understaffed. I will only have the morning with them, so I plan to entice them with homemade banana bread at our morning Youth and Family Team meeting, and then have them watch me do intellectual and adaptive testing with a 2 year old. They don’t get to do that kind of testing at the Fargo center, as there are private providers on the eastern part of the state who do it. I am the only psychologist, in either the private or public sectors west of the Missouri River in this state who tests, so I get to do all sorts of evaluations no one else in the state system gets to do. It is testing Nirvana, as far as I am concerned.
It was always a big deal when my mother was a hostess for the various women’s groups she was a member of. Out would come the glass plates with the special section for the coffee cup. She would make egg coffee, serve butter mints and mixed nuts, and get fancy finger sandwiches and cakes from two elderly Norwegian sisters in town. The living room and bathrooms had to be spotless. It was always much more formal and fancy when she had her Lutheran Women’s Circle over, more relaxed when her sewing club or fellow elementary teachers came over. I would sit on the periphery of the group, observing and taking in all the conversation.
What sort of gatherings did your parents host? Any special plates or foods? What sort of host are you?
I have to admit that my interest in philosophy has been limited to being in love with two philosophy majors, Husband, and a youthful indiscretion whilst an undergraduate.
Their interests in literature, their curiosity about ideas, was entrancing. I must admit, however, that I almost never understood what they were, and are, talking about when they were talking shop.
The other day Husband was excited to tell me about an article he had read in the Journal of Conradian Studies, about Conrad ‘s dislike of Dostoevsky. I have never read anything by Conrad. I read “Notes From Underground” for an Existential Philosophy class. It was depressing, as I recall.
Husband has read a few things by both writers. I could be happy for the rest of my life if I never read anything by either of them. I have become more practical as I get older. I am just happy Husband is still excited to keep reading and learning.
Did you ever study philosophy? Ever read Conrad or Dostoevsky? Tell about an author or idea you want to read or learn more about?
I look up lots of recipes on-line, and I somehow got signed up for the free delivery, multiple times a day, of recipes from a German-based Instagram site that sends me baking recipes. The recipes show up in German, and then are translated into English when I click on them to read them. The site is called Einfach Backen, which means Easy Baking.
I love the German descriptions of the recipes. One yesterday was:
Kirschpfannkuchen-Wie bei Oma. Soo fluffing & aromatisch!
I think that means cherry pancake just like grandma used to make, light and tasty. I don’t speak German, but some of the words are easy to figure out. I have never made any of the recipes. I just like trying to figure out what they are before they are translated into English.
The other day, one of the recipes was described as being blitzschnell, which I take to mean lightening fast to prepare. I just love that word! Our terrier is very blitzschnell, Husband less so. He is amused when I say “Mach Blitzschnell!!” when I want him to speed it up. I love it!
What are some of your favorite non-English words? What are your favorite English words or phrases?Learn any new words lately!
l get occasional updates from Ancestry on various things related to my genetic history. For example, they have recategorized my genetic makeup to reflect that while many of my ancestors are from coastal Germany, a substantial amount of my DNA is from Sweden, Norway, and Denmark. They used to say I had all this DNA from the British Isles. I guess they decided that people from the British Isles have Swedish, Danish, and Norwegian DNA because the British Isles were invaded by the Scandinavians centuries ago. They also invaded and raided coastal Germany, hence my DNA similarities to the British.
Ancestry has started looking at genetic traits like risk taking and remembering dreams. I am supposedly average for those traits. Just this week, though, I got another update that says I am more likely than 80% of the population to be a night owl. I really believe it.
I have loved staying up late my whole life. I love sleeping in. I guess there are 24 genetic markers for sleep patterns like this. How on earth they can find out these things is beyond me, but it is nice to know I have an excuse for being so different from my early-bird husband and children.
Are you are early riser or a night owl? What personal traits would you like to blame on genetics?
Daughter has made some wonderful friends in Tacoma, and they all seem to have a shared interest in good food. Daughter tells me weekly what she is cooking, and has really expanded her cooking repertoire.
The other week, Daughter and a friend realized the extent of their food obsession when Friend and her husband went out to eat at a favorite restaurant and found that a beloved spinach artichoke dip with sun-dried tomatoes had been discontinued permanently. Her friend was horrified to find herself actually bursting into tears at the disappointment. Her grandfather had died quite recently, but Friend said that had nothing to do with her reaction to the loss of the dip. That dip was really special to her.
Daughter is always eager to point out when I haven’t been a perfect parent, and the spinach dip incident reminded her of the time she phoned me in tears because a friend had forgot to put a pan of enchiladas that Daughter had made in the fridge overnight, rendering them somehow spoiled. She admits she reacted to it like a 13 year old girl. Her takeaway from the phone call, though, was her hearing me say “You talk to her, Chris. I can’t deal with her right now.” Husband proceeded to say all the right things to her, about how this wasn’t about the enchiladas but about her disappointment that her friend had been careless. Dad 1, Mom 0.
What foods do you have an emotional reaction to? How did your parents differ in their ways of interacting with you?What is yourfavorite artichoke recipe?
Trail Baboon 