The baboons have banded together to open a pub – The Beaded Warthog. Now we need a menu. Here’s a favorite I’d like to serve:
Toasted Cheese w/ Chow Chow
1 nice slice of bread, maybe sourdough
A couple of pieces of cheese – gouda would be good
2-3 Tbs of chow chow relish (or a nice chutney)
Lay the cheese out on top of the bread.
Toast the bread until it’s toasty and the cheese a little bubbly.
Spread the chow chow over the cheese.
Enjoy!
What would you like to serve at our pub?
Last week Steve commented that he thought there was an interesting story as to why I have a beaded warthog. I’ll let you all decide.
About 15 years ago, I traveled to South Africa to do a site inspection with a client. Like usual, I arrived a day ahead to make sure everything is all set for the client. The next morning, after I had met with the hotel and the ground supplier, I got a call from the States. The client and the account executive couldn’t get out of Cincinnati due to a huge ice storm. By the time they would be able get to South Africa, it would pretty much be time to turn around and head home. Believe me, traveling to South Africa is a long haul, so you don’t want to go there to come home immediately!
So the next six days were almost like a vacation including great food and even a little shopping time. I had already found a Nelson Mandela t-shirt for YA (this trip was the week after he passed away), but since there wasn’t a client, my driver and I started taking time to stop at roadside stands as we drove around. It was at one of these stands that I found the beaded warthog.
It’s very common to find beaded animals in South Africa. The locals use reclaimed/recycled wire to sculpt the bodies and then use little glass beads to do the decoration. Elephants make up the majority of these beaded souvenirs, but you can also find giraffes, lions and rhinos. I had never seen a warthog before (and haven’t since either) and it struck me as hysterical because the missing client worked for the swine division of a husbandry pharmaceutical company. I forked over the money happily and added it to the little store of items I had bought for the client.
When I got back to my office, I called the account exec to let him know that I was doing some good notes and also sending the gift items to the client. Since I thought the beaded warthog was so funny I mentioned it specifically. There was an awkward pause and he said “You know, she doesn’t have nearly as good a sense of humor as you.” When I pushed him about what he meant, he broke down and said that she was very sensitive about the pig connection and he didn’t think sending the warthog would be a good idea. He was worried that this would hurt my feelings. Ha – just the opposite – I got a great insight into a client I hadn’t worked with before AND now I have a beaded warthog!
Have you ever had a gift go wrong?
Husband went to the college library last week and took out Practical Baking, a comprehensive compendium for the budding commercial baker. The book outlines in over 800 pages in very scientific and practical terms, all the baked goods one could possibly create, and all the problems that could occur, such as why icings and toppings might run without stabilizers, why puff pastries blister and flake, and why your Napoleon sheets are tough or break easily when handled. Husband was interested in the section devoted to common problems with hard rolls. The book addresses common problems for every imaginable baked good.
The book also contains a suggested 6 month course of home study to become an accomplished baker. Weeks 9 and 10, for example, are devoted to perfecting biscuits and muffins. Husband brought the book home because he really is interested in common problems with hard rolls (It is a concern specific to people from Sheboygan, WI), and also because it is so funny in its seriousness.
What how-to manual would you like to write? What how-to manual would have made your life easier? Ever had an authentic bratwurst on a Sheboygan hard roll? (You know what they say, its not the brat, its the bun!)
Well, the holidays are just about over, and we are still in the thick of celebration. Our holidays started over Thanksgiving when we spent the week with our son and daughter in law. Daughter arrived on the 26th. My best friend is due today, and we will have feast on New Year’s Eve with her and daughter’s best friend. Then everyone heads back to Minneapolis, and we are left with the remains of the feast. I think I will be ready to face the new year.
What have been the highlights of your holidays? What have been some of the most memorable of your holidays?
Husband outdid himself yesterday and made the most wonderful bread. It is sourdough barley bread with sage topping, or Gerstenbrot. You can see it in the header photo. The recipe called for fresh yeast, which is something I haven’t baked with for years and years. I was surprised to find that the grocery store still stocked it. I think that the yeast made a huge difference in how the dough turned out.
The bread recipes in the Nordic baking book I received for Christmas from my son and DIL call exclusively for fresh yeast. Given the results husband got from the fresh yeast, I can see why. I now have a new anxiety-will the store continue to stock fresh yeast? Going back to basics isn’t easy sometimes.
What have you abandoned, only to come back to later?
I opened a bag of flour yesterday as I was finishing some batches of Lebkuchen and Ginger Spekulatius, when I saw the silliest warning on the bag.
I never imagined that some people would sit down to a nice bowl of flour, unaware that you only eat it if it is cooked in something else.
I am a firm believer in natural consequences. You eat raw flour, you don’t feel so good. What ever happened to the dignity of risk? Why do we need all these warnings?
What silly warnings have you encountered lately?
Wednesday night I made a second attempt at Schwarzweiss, German checkerboard cookies. The ones from my first attempt tasted good but I just didn’t get the process by which they miraculously look like checkerboards. They looked like mutated chocolate and vanilla strips. I found another recipe with better instructions, and they actually turned out.
I never liked math very much. I really disliked geometry. The process to make checkerboard cookies is mathematical and geometrical, requiring the ability to visualize the process (which I could sort of see) and the patience to carry it out (which I really lack). I had to stack the two different colored layers, cut the stacks in half lengthwise, cut them again in half lengthwise, stack them again, cut the stacks in four slices lengthwise, stack them again, then slice the stacks into cookies.
It was intriguing to see a recipe that used three different colored doughs, as that seemed to make the process easier with fewer cuts and stacks. I am sure there is a mathematical explanation for that, but it makes my brain hurt to try to figure it out.
What are your feelings toward and experiences with mathematics? What makes for a good mathematics teacher? Is algebra or geometry easier for you?
I got a family recipe from the wife of my German cousin Wilhelm. It is a traditional Christmas bread called Bremer Klaben. Petra speaks wonderful English, but her written recipe is, well, interesting. It is ok that the ingredients like raisins and candied peel and flour are measured in grams. I have a scale that will do that for me. I really like cooking by weight, not volume.
The recipe calls for 60 grams of yeast. I always assume a reference to yeast means granulated yeast. 60 grams of granulated yeast is about 1/3 of a cup. This only makes one medium-sized loaf of bread, so I surmised that she was referring to cake yeast, not granulated yeast. The granulated equivalent of cake yeast is 4 1/2 teaspoons. Can you imagine what would have happened had I not made the proper conversion? Disaster averted!
Tell about disasters you have averted (or not).
I made broth last weekend. It is the Brodo recipe from The Splendid Table with 9 lbs of turkey wings and 3 lbs of beef bones. It simmers for 14 hours. It produces a couple of gallons of golden brown goodness. We use it all the time, so we try to always have some on hand. We consider ourselves rich as we put the broth containers in the freeze “This is wealth”, we say. Who needs more things when you have broth?
We have much to be thankful for besides homemade broth. We feel especially rich in good friends, good coworkers, and in our community as a whole. In this season of rampant consumerism, I think it is good to consider all the things that contribute richness to our lives.
What makes your life a richer, more satisfying one?
Today’s post comes to us from Port Huron Steve.
I started drinking coffee in the week I began grad school. I had my first cup in a coffeehouse, a memorable day because I learned I loved coffee and coffeehouse music. That first cup was espresso, dark as sin and quite strong.
That launched an odyssey as I searched for a way to make great coffee at home. As far as I’m concerned, the odyssey—which took 53 years to complete—came to a happy end about two months ago. The odyssey involved three things: my coffee mug, the brand of coffee and the coffee brewing technology.
A few weeks ago I wrote about my pursuit of the perfect coffee mug. The story ran under the title of Arabia Beehive. I described how I bought a mug that I later decided was perfect. It shattered when knocked to the floor in 1983. Since then I spent hundreds of hours looking for a replacement. And this year in October that 32-year search ended when I found a copy of my original beloved mug.
I spent about three decades looking for a great brand of coffee. It was a curious hunt. I knew how good coffee could be, for the coffee in good restaurants was wonderful. But I couldn’t find coffee like that in grocery stores. My erstwife and I went from brand to brand to brand, never finding one that tasted remotely like the best restaurant brew. We didn’t know the problem was that restaurants got to buy coffee that was roasted to perfection, coffee of a quality not sold in stores.
The search for great coffee beans took an unexpected turn when Starbucks became so popular in the early 1990s. Suddenly there were little coffeehouses all over serving and selling wonderful brews. And suddenly it was clear why we looked so long in vain for coffee like that in stores.
Everyone has a favorite. Mine is the Caribou blend from the Caribou Coffee folks. It is nothing terribly special, being a medium roast suitable for all-day drinking. I’ve dallied with French roast blends, which are stronger, but I keep coming back to the Caribou blend. I love it.
The odyssey also included a lot of experimentation with coffee makers. I’ve owned about fifteen different makers. For a while I liked a French press. I used to make Italian espresso. For about a year we made “camp coffee,” which is grounds thrown into cold water that is heated. Then you clarify the coffee with egg shells, maybe filtering it as a last step. It is pretty good, but messy and not easy to do when half-asleep.
While trying different coffee brewing technologies, I spent several years grinding my own beans each morning. According to experts, that was necessary, and for several years I believed them. But grinding beans makes an awful sound that I can’t abide shortly after waking up. I ultimately decided making coffee from freshly ground beans was more trouble than it was worth.
My search for the ideal coffee maker ended when my daughter (who rarely drinks coffee) served amazingly good coffee four years ago. I say “amazingly” because the coffee itself was just Folgers from a big red can, the stuff they sell in every grocery store in the country. I was astonished to learn that coffee from her Cuisinart coffee maker was truly better than I could make with my more expensive German brewing system.
And now the odyssey is truly over. Each day begins with perfect (to my palate) coffee brewed in my favorite coffeemaker and served in my favorite mug. I’m a happy, happy guy. It is embarrassing to be so easily pleased, but I really enjoy starting each day with something so reliably delightful.
What is your favorite beverage? Do you have it all worked out or are you still experimenting?
Trail Baboon 